Working During My Vacation

Yeah. That's the title and that's what's going on and it really, really sucks. I was supposed to be off from this past Friday to the first Monday in January. I made all sorts of plans and thought of activities to do with the children. These have all been put aside so that I can make some stupid-ass deadline that has nothing to do with me. Nice.

Friday was awful. I mean, it was probably the worst day of work I've ever had. I got up planning to help out with some items (4:45am was when I logged on). After several phone calls and major blow-ups, I logged off at 11:02 am (oh, did I mention? I had to be at the Babe's school at 11:00am to help with their Christmas party?). I left, scrambling to get Indy into the car with coat and supplies. We manned the party for about an hour, then left to do some major grocery shopping. The shopping left me tired and needing additional supplies from a separate store.

Indy and I hit up Mickey D's and ate lunch in the car, waiting for the babe to get out of school. Then, it was on to the next store for more groceries. Upon my return home, I put all the bags of groceries on the counters and then. Ring! Ring! Work.

I worked from 3:00pm till damn near 6:00pm. I was so tired! The girls were running around trying to kill each other, I had frozen pizzas defrosting on my counter and the phone just wouldn't stop.

I'll be working for the next three days of my vacation off and on. I am so not happy.

(More to come later...gotta work).

My Girls

My eldest is going to get the "big head" (if she hasn't already). We were eating out Sunday and several people came up to tell her how beautiful she was. I've mentioned on here before that she is a striking child and people have done this her entire life. In fact, now she just sort of expects it. We get it where ever we go, no matter where we go.

If they're not telling her how beautiful she is, they're complimenting both my girls on their manners and how well they behave. Not complaining and I know lots of kids were hooligans, but have things really gotten that out of hand with child discipline? Some times I'm pleasantly surprised at how well some children act, while others need to have their parents taken out and beaten (Yes...I totally blame the parents). Still, I think most kids are pretty good. I guess I'm just always so shocked at how people react to my girls, in particular.

Back to my eldest. She was going on and on about how people are always talking about her hair (currently past her waist, but that'll change this weekend), her smile or her skin. She loves the attention, but when people actually come up to her, she's pretty humble and sweet about it all. I suppose that's good. Don't want her tooting her own horn, I guess;

"Yes! I know I'm fabulous. Love me! Adore me! Worship me!"

I think I'd melt away into nothing if she ever did that. My biggest concern for her is that she recognize her inner beauty. Her strength, her sensitivity and curiosity are what make up so much of who she is and I don't want her to lose sight of those attributes. We discuss it often and I remind her that her looks may some day fade, but her mind will be hers for the rest of her life. She should nurture it as much as possible.

Her sister seems to be more of the intellectual, if you can call a three year-old an intellectual. She'll be a big reader like her big sister I think, but I also feel like she'll be more focused on school and more concerned about it at a much earlier age. The Babe is just coming into this now, and she's almost been around a decade.

Two-Day Work Week

Life's sweet treats! Even better when you go an entire week without working. Oh, good times await (I hope).

This year, I've been asked to bake the Costco Caramel Cake for Thanksgiving. There are lots of reviews online from various people who've tried it. I hope it's as good as everyone says. It was my mother's idea for me to try it. Normally, I bake my rum cake or my apple crumble. This may turn out to be a staple for future pot-lucks, if it's as tasty as I think it will be.

We got snow yesterday! After leaving the theater (New Moon, for my oldest), the car was covered in the white stuff. The streets were a bit slushy, but I just took my time and drove the three minutes home. Little danger, thankfully. I did hear there were many accidents on the highway.

"Just keep the white stuff away until we don't have to drive in it, please."

Hubby was off today, so we had lunch together. Nothing special. Just lounging on the couch with our respective choices from the fridge. We giggled at "Living Sing.le" episodes on the tele and talked about the errands he has to run. This got me thinking about the other items I need to pick up for my girls and hubby for Christmas. It gets tricky when you always have a kid with you (and Santa is still a strong presence in our family). Dad may have to put in some babysitting time.

I found out recently that a divorce has occurred with the family down the street. We noticed we hadn't seen the dad's truck in a while. Then, hubby and I had our cable installed. Hubby asked the contractor if he knew our neighbor. "Oh, yeah. He moved to Wyoming." Wyoming? Turns out he got a job there and has pulled up stakes. The contractor said that he and his wife separated, but after hubby talked with the neighbor and the subject came up, the marriage is officially done. It's sad to hear, but I'm hoping that everything is for the best. They have two, very active boys and I really hope mom is able to take care of everything they have going on. They participate in every known sport. I hope she can carpool with the taxi duties.

Life Goes On

I received such an outpouring of love and understanding during my bereavement. I guess it's certainly one way to know who really cares about you. Even my new manager gave me a hug. How sweet! We haven't even known each other a month, yet. I was touched.

I took the youngest (Indy) to see the princesses and wouldn't you know? Front seats, baby. She was so overwhelmed by everything, she didn't say much at first. Soon, princesses and all matter of characters were gliding past and waving to her. I'll have to remember the seat and row for the next time we go to this venue for a show. It was pricey, but certainly worth it. I didn't bring the camera because I had no idea where the seats were, but I brought the binoculars. Didn't need those at all!

My mother calls every few days with a count down to Thanksgiving. It's really cute. She's asked me to try a new recipe (an Apple cake) if I don't destroy it, I'll post the recipe here. She's just happy to have anything in an apple form. The Babe told me her cousin said that my sister-in-law is bringing a pecan pie. I can feel the pounds on my hips already.

Speaking of hips, I think the exercise is what truly brought me out of my funk. It's amazing what a few endorphins can do for your sense of well-being. I'm not pushing boulders up a hill or weight training until I pass out, but the time I spend on the elliptical has done worlds of good.

Hubby and I got into a little tift about time. I'm just glad we didn't get to arguing during our time away. We had a lovely weekend up in the mountains with no kids. Ended up at a club where the Deadliest Ca.tch Tour was taking place. Underground hip-hop at it's best. The music was pretty good, but we had more fun people watching. Hubby commented on all the cougars and how one was scoping him out. An Asian gentleman was looking at me like gravy on a plate and he was standing right next to my hubby! Nice. People just don't care anymore. It was still fun, regardless.

We talked about going back up, maybe with the kids, at a later time (when it's warmer). Twenty-nine degrees and snow was a bit much. Yikes! The weather around here turned sharply cold, but now is warming up again. Wonder if the almanac was right? Are we in for a rough winter?

Another Passing in 2009

My grandmother passed away Monday morning. I'm still mourning and missing her, but the ache isn't nearly as painful as it was earlier this week. I just keep reminding myself how long a life she had (she was 90) and how much she accomplished.

She took care of me and my sister for a while, when my dad moved us from California to Tennessee. We stayed with her for 7 months. I will forever be grateful to her for that. When my mother worked those crazy long hours at a job she hated, my grandmother was there. Chasing after me about keeping my grades up (I was out of school for a while) and giving me advice about this or that. I'd follow her around in her hair shop when she'd have the occasional client. I'd watch her bake and help her see about my great-grandmother. I'd sit up and watch t.v. movies with her or relax on her front porch on the swing. So many memories.

I suppose my favorite is when my girlfriends and I went to Daytona for spring break. We stayed with her to help with expenses. While we were there, she shared an article about herself from the paper. Because of her enormous and beautiful garden, she got a headline in the lifestyles section. It was amazing. All those beautiful flowers! I'll never forget them or her.

Yesterday, as I was watching Sanf.ord and Son, I saw this segment and it tickled me so much, I had to add it here. For a week that hasn't be so great, this brought quite a bit of sunshine:





This evening, I'm taking Indy to see the Princesses on Ice. It will be the first public arena I've been too in several days. I think I'm okay and I know it will make her oh, so happy. Going on with life and creating new memories, I'm sure that's what my grandmother would have wanted.

Our Weather is Confused - But No Complaints

We hit 75 degrees, yesterday. Remember my "first day of snow" post on the last day of September? Amazing what can happen in one month. Our weather lady said, "You can wear your shorts today." We've had this unseasonable weather for the past few days, but I'm certainly not complaining. Hubby has used the opportunity to go ahead and put the Christmas lights on the roof (um, didn't he say he wasn't going to do a lot of lights this year? Yeah, he says it every year. I just don't even pay him any attention anymore when he says it) and get them ready for the day after Thanksgiving. That's when Christmas festivities start at our house, anyway. I do know of one person who has been listening to Christmas music since August. Sigh. What's nutty is that two of our "easy listening" stations, about two years ago, decided November 1 would be the day they'd start their "All Christmas music, all the time," campagins. I refuse to listen to those stations until after Thanksgiving as well.

We also spent part of the afternoon, yesterday, putting chicken wire around the bottom of our fence where, El Stupido (Hercules, my Chihuahua) has escaped a couple of times. "Why are you running away from free room and board, you dumb dog? Don't you know that's how you ended up at the animal shelter in the first place.?" (He was two pounds lighter than he is now, making him only two pounds when we adopted him). Right now, he's looking at me with that, "Play with me, please," expression he often has. Wow. What a little con-artist.

Hubby also purchased flower bulbs (Narcissus) to plant for next year, he'll be pulling up the rest of the solar lights from spring and filling in some areas in the back yard. So ambitious! I reminded him that these are his days off and he is allowed to enjoy them and relax a little bit. He never stops, that one.

My daughter has to read the scripture for our devotional on Sunday at the "special " afternoon service. That means, no 8:00 am service this week but we'll head down at 2:30 instead. I'm such an early bird that this will seem downright unnatural to me; however, I don't want to do multiple services and I don't want my kids missing out on their naps (Ugh! They are completely unbearable when they do). The multiple service issue is my own. Growing up with a father who pastored a church, I spent many a Sunday in services all day long. I don't have a problem with service, but two, three sometimes four in one day is too much for anyone.

My niece and nephew are coming over today. They are sleeping over and watching scary movies with the babe. It's great that they get to spend time together, but I am selfish. It seems we end up with them more then ours end up at their house. I know that their mother is basically a single-mom working all the time, just to keep a roof over their heads but it would be so nice if we had the luxury of a trusting care-giver for our kids, whenever we needed one. Yes. I am very selfish. I still can't help feeling like, "When do we get that opportunity?" I wish the babe's friends' parents weren't so flaky.

Speaking of the babe, she is getting so excited about New Mo.on. Hubby and I are trying to figure out how to find a babysitter for Indy, so that we can take the Babe (yeah...all of a sudden he wants to go, too. It went from, "Oh, I'll be fine watching it on video," to "How do you think we can take the Babe to see the movie?" He cracks me up).

Hello, November

Did you know that it's Alzheimer's Disease Awareness Month? I was unaware until a few moments ago. I don't think I've ever posted about how much that disease scares me; more than cancer, heart disease and even a stroke. My memories are who I am. The people I know and love, the places I've been, the ideas I've dreamed about. I can't imagine having all of that slowly siphoned away. To wake up some days and know who my children are, and others not remembering their names. My feeling is, I can be doped on morphine or whatever for pain as long as I know who I am. I support research and donate whenever I can and I truly hope that no one in my family experiences this (or any other) wretched disease.

It will be a good day today, despite the sour note I sort of started on. I believe this to be true. It's been oh, so busy. October was nuts, but lots of fun. The girls participated in so many wonderful activities and I was happy to play taxi. It's truly about broadening their childhoods and building their memories. Indy will be going to see the princesses next week. She has no idea, but the babe is having a hard time holding her tongue. She's not jealous, thankfully. I did have to remind her, though, that I did all of these sorts of things with her when she was little. Now, it's Indy's turn. The babe got to see a Chor.us Line in September, after all and will hopefully get to see the stage version of A Christmas Sto.ry in December.

Hubby and I are getting away next week, too. He keeps talking about the "plans" he's made without talking about them. I have no idea what we're doing, but I hope it involves a hot tub. Woohoo! I think the last time we went away together overnight, just the two of us, was a few years ago. So sad that it only comes in spurts but it's hard finding care for our kids and they're at such different ages.

We went to Vegas and stayed at the Orleans. I believe Indy was just a toddler. The pictures show a lot of baby weight on me, so I don't believe she could have been that old. We were lucky my mother even agreed to care for both of them. I had no idea we were going. Hubby just told me what days to take off and that he was making arrangements for the kids. Early one morning, we dropped them off and headed out. I love car trips with him. We have the best time. You really don't know someone until you've spent hours and hours with him/her in a car.

We could have lived at the Orleans! Everything was there; food, entertainment and therapy (spas). We rode all the coasters at the top of the Stratosphere (Lord, never again!), walked the strip, visited In 'N Ou.t Burger as often as we could, and drank the sweet nectar of life (Mai Tai's are usually my choice, but I think I had more strawberry daiquiris than anything on this trip).

Since we only have one day, I won't get my hopes up for a repeat of our Vegas excursion, but I'll always have those memories (and those dreadful pictures of me screaming my head off on the Big Shot).

I'm looking forward to the holidays and all that comes with them. The girls have already mentioned baking and other mother-daughter bonding activities. I save all that for this time of year, since it's the time I usually use those vacation days I've saved up. I just hope I'll be able to again this year. With a new manager, you just never know.

Well, it's that time to dig in and work, work, work.

(Oh, and my nostalgia moment below. I loved Troop. When Hubby and I married years after they were popular, he told me he and his friends would choreograph dances, using their moves, for parties. Remember when people danced rather than just moved around aimlessly? I listened to the song below, along with My Heart, That's My Attitude, All I Do and I'm Not Souped over and over again.)

Back and Missing My Friends

My trip home was too much fun! I basically lived the single life with my best friend for four, fun-filled days. Now, when I say single, I'm not talking about bar-hopping and running around like some crazed woman. I'm talking about going where I want to go, when I want to go whenever I want to go. I'm saying that I didn't have to put anyone into a booster or car seat, buckle them up and make sure the strap wasn't too tight. I didn't have to wait for kiddlings to finally get out of the car, only to realize they left some scrap of clothing or (heaven forbid) their shoes.

I could also go into places and not worry about hands touching and picking up everything. I could spend time browsing and not worry about brattiness ("Don't touch me!" "She's not listening, mom!" "Why can't we go there?" "I'm hungry!") I missed my girls, but I didn't miss all of this.

I arrived in Nashville, the Friday before last, at around 10:30pm. I picked up my car (a Hyundai Elantra in grey) and drove over to the hotel. Once I checked in, I discovered that I had two, double beds instead of the single King I thought I was going to get. Sweet! I called my friend and told her to bring a bag. Slumber party! When she arrived, we went to pick up a late dinner, came back to the room and talked, talked, talked. The next day, she had to get her hair done. I worked out while she was gone, talked to my dad, and arranged a lunch with my sorority sister. At lunch, my soror, my best friend and I talked, and talked and talked for nearly three hours. I'm sure the wait-staff was ready for us to go.

We hit nearly every hair shop where I spent way too much money. For that Saturday evening? Bowling and Captain D's for dinner. Sunday, it was off to her church for morning service. We left and went to IHOP, where we connected with my dad. He was nearly 45 minutes late (CP time for real!) and then he wouldn't let us leave. Two hours later and lots of rain, we headed back to the room to recuperate. Later, we went back out for dinner and watched "Let's Scare Jessica to Death" on my computer. We were planning on going to a haunted house, but we didn't want to stand in the rain.

Monday, we went to my high school friend's, daughter's junior high to speak for their college week. It was a lot of fun and they asked a lot of very intelligent questions (for the most part). It's junior high, after all. Afterwards, we kidnapped my friend and had lunch at Long John Silvers. Then, it was time to see Zombieland. Awesome! I haven't had that much fun at a movie in a long time. We were the only ones in the theater, talking loud and cracking jokes. It was the best! (I went to see it again with hubby two days later). There are so many great one-liners. We're still quoting them, ever chance we get.

We went to the mall for slurpees and strolled through our childhood hang out, now nearly deserted (due to our lovely economic climate). Her hubby was eager to have her back, so we took her home around five. For Monday night? BB King's House of Blues. Oh, yeah. It was the perfect end to a fantastic trip. We saw the Stacy Mitchhart band and turned into groupies for the evening, grabbing autographs and buying CDs. I love live music and I really hate that I don't get enough of it at home. That's gotta change.

Tuesday was a bit depressing. We picked up breakfast and turned in my car. After which, we hung out at Opry Mills and then had lunch. Then, off to the airport to come home. It's always so hard to leave. My best friend said it best when she described our friendship; "The longer we remain friends, the more we appreciate each other...the harder it is to separate." Ugh! If only I could beam them here when I need them.

So, I don't go again until 2011. She wants to try the skiing thing the next time she's here (2010). I'll be pricing that out, along with hospital stays for when limbs are broken. I told her, "Only the bunny slopes for me!" I just don't want to meet my end tumbling down a mountain, you know?

The Pig Flu Tangos Around the Office

So, one of my new co-workers is home fighting the hog ailment. She has the same symptoms I did and informed us that her parents are recovering from the same. They were actually tested for pig's disease and so...there you have it! Truly, the media does a number on us. We've been hearing about this thing for months. They'd have us believe it's a revisit of the bubonic plague, but it's just a nasty, pain-in-the-ass flu. Do what you're supposed to do when you get sick and you're golden! Be an idiot and run around in a T-shirt in 39 degree temps (our temperature yesterday, if you can believe that) and risk the inevitable.

My new spot in the office totally sucks. I'm right by the door which leads to the restrooms. Major "in and out" action all freakin' day. It's only four months, I keep telling myself, but it's little comfort. Only ten feet away is the blasted break room door. We're also now located on the floor with marketing and our enrollment counselors, many of whom are college age (or very close to it). They chatter incessantly and talk about the most inane things. Was I ever like that? Ugh! We try and keep the door closed but, inevitably, some wise ass opens it up and then we have to hear about the gay-love that isn't happening frequently enough in the bedroom or the too-high gas or how black men are the best lovers (which is true, but why do I have to hear it at work?).

The weather was crazy, yesterday. Wednesday, we ended with a high of 86 degrees. It seemed like we were going into an Indian summer, then an Arctic blast hit us from the northwest, sending our temps into the 30s. The thirties! By yesterday afternoon, the mountains were covered in a blanket of snow. I could no longer see the beautiful reds, oranges and golds of fall. I hope this early freeze doesn't kill them all. Those colors are the best part of fall.

(The picture was taken in my yard, yesterday. It's of the mountains directly east of my house).

The Flu

That's what the doc said I had. The flu. My flu came with a cough (still coughing a bit). No flu I've ever had came with a cough. The guy at the emergency room, who examined my daughter earlier this year, said that the cough was the "different"symptom with H1N1. So, did I have it? Pig flu? Could it be? I'm being a good girl, laying off the strenuous exercise, drinking my juice, resting. I've sucked on about a thousand cough drops, but things are improving. In fact, I've felt better today than I've felt in a bit, aside from the sore throat.

It all began Thursday, September 24th. I went home with my throat feeling like it was going to close up. I initially thought it was something I ate and I was having some sort of reaction. I took some benadryl and called it good. The next day, aside from the lingering benadryl effects, I felt okay. I worked without trouble but by 2:30pm, things started to go south. I felt like stir-fried crap and it only got worse. I took some meds then went to see A Chorus Line with my mom, sister and daughter. It was great, but I sneezed through a big portion of it.

Saturday, I stayed around the house. I left only to pick up juice and lunch for my hubby and his friend (who, thankfully, installed our new water heater and dish washer). I rested and played The Price is Right (I'm really loving that game).

Sunday, was a bit better. I was on Sudafed and cough drops. Same with Monday, but the afternoon was hard (probably because the air conditioning went out and it was hot as hell in our offices). That never helps with the healing process.

I went to the doctor, thinking I may have strep when the sore throat came on with a vengeance this morning. The good news was that I was feeling more like myself. He checked me out; no swollen glands, chest sounded good, no fever, lungs clear and a negative on the strep test. I'll just keep being a good girl and get better. Wonder if one of my snotty-nosed kids or their friends gave this to me? Well, maybe now I'm immune.

Shuffling the Kid

We have major construction happening on the main street in our city. They've closed down an overpass/bridge that has been a major artery for decades. A new highway will replace it, which will mean demolishing several buildings. One of these buildings includes a Mom & Pop restaurant, which catered to the military folks...large portions for great prices. Next door to this cafe is my youngest daughter's daycare (and oldest daughter's back-up care on days I work in Salt Lake during the school year and summer). Destruction for the sake of progress.

The department of transportation, lovely government entity that they are, informed the daycare director that they would be able to "work around" the daycare. This care center goes from 1 year to 12 years old and also buses students to school. The director was pleased that they were so willing to work with her. Yesterday, I arrived to drop off my youngest, only to find that the director had been given her marching orders. She's got 30 days to haul her cookies out of there so they can knock down her building. She was not even given enough to relocate the center. This is a nightmare!

We were so happy to have found a place that, not only had first rate care-givers, but only charged a minimal fee when my kids were there. Most places charge regardless and the fees are usually exorbitant. I was crushed to hear such awful news. I then became depressed because I knew all those great teachers would be out job-hunting in this god-awful economy. I talked to the assistant director for about twenty minutes, who had spent the last twenty years of her life being the "grandma" to the kids. She is single and will now have a house note with no way to pay it. Ugh!

I went care hunting, yesterday and, due to the current daycare's reputation, other care facilities in the neighborhood (who wouldn't normally take newbies) have been good about accepting new/overflow students to compensate. They are also interviewing the teachers who would otherwise be out on the street. I felt better, but still ended up crying about it to hubby.

We found a new place that I found pleasant and supportive, is in a great location and just received a massive grant for building and playground improvements. The cons? They charge nearly double and charge even when Indy isn't going to be there. Oh, well. The other option was an in-home daycare scenario. Indy would have been the oldest and the owner has her own family and two roommates living in the house. Red flag! My mother was also leery, due to all the scary stories you here about other family members coming over and doing horrible things to the children. That put me on edge, even before I toured her home.

The new place for the youngest only takes up to age 5 years. The babe was not happy and I'll still have to figure out what we're going to do with her during the summer and on "school out" days. Ugh! This is the downside of not having our friends here in Utah. I know these things wouldn't even be an issue or if they were, not nearly as stressful as it's been. From Sorority sisters hooking me up to high school friends playing "catch all" when hubby and I need to get away. It would be so sweet! There's no way in hell I'm moving back though so, I'm stuck with shuffling the kids. I'm sure this won't be the last time. I just hope we always find safe and affordable environments.

When Good Weekends Disappear

It was just wonderful! We didn't do anything spectacular, but we spent a lot of time together. I think, for the first time in a long time, hubby dear saw the benefits of having that precious time we've been missing. I've been trying to tell him for months that it's the most important thing to me, in regards to our relationship. The weekend flew by and, this time, I wasn't depressed about a bad weekend turning into just another week at work. This time, I was elated at having such a great weekend but sad at seeing it disappear. I believe hubby felt the same way.

My trip home is in a couple of weeks and he's already getting mopey about it. He's anticipating missing me, which I think is sweet and a bit sad. I don't feel it yet because, as is always the case with me, I don't feel the effects until I'm right at the cliff. It will be the day I leave getting onto the airplane that I'll fee the twangs of sadness. He's already talking about, "When you're gone..." and the things he'll try to do to keep himself occupied. I keep reminding him that the kids will be with him and, when they're at school, he'll have all that time to himself. I don't think he's seeing the benefits right now but I'm hoping he will in the next few days.

The first day of fall is just about here! I'm so excited and I keep looking for all the wonderful colors. Some trees have started to change, but not many. We did wake up to 49 degrees this morning (a sure sign that fall is on the way). Hubby keeps asking me when it is so he can turn on the Halloween lights. Halloween lights? For real?! He cracks me up. Again, he's said, "I'm not going to put up a lot of stuff this Christmas." Okay, he says this every year. No kidding! Track back to old posts around this time? Sure as I'm breathing, I've typed this before. He just can't help himself. He's got a 10 year-old kid living inside him that just loves holidays.

The babe is getting challenged in dance, now. The group is nearly double at 13 as opposed to the 6 strong they were last year. The routine is harder, but oh so cute. They had a 3.5 hour choreography session on Saturday. They were dead, when I picked her up, but happy. I'm glad she's still enjoying all this. Some of them looked like they weren't there for good times. I wonder how long they will remain 13, with all of what I saw Saturday?

I got my hair done on Saturday as well and it's longer than I normally keep it. This was due to the general consensus of the shop, that day. My beautician asked if I wanted to trim it and I asked the ladies currently there what they thought. All agreed that I should keep it long, so I did. As soon as I stepped inside the house, my hubby was in awe. He was happy she finished early, but also happy it was so long (about the middle of my back)...claiming it would be great to pull um, later on. Nice. It's still a bit tender and it's starting to itch. The first week is always uncomfortable.

Friday, the babe and I will see A Chorus Line. Of course, she has no idea but I think she'll enjoy it immensely. I just hope my sister maintains herself. She can be oh, so irritating.

EbonyEnchantress Gets a Workout

I've been putting that site into over-drive, while neglecting this one. I really should take the first day of September (the month of change) to make a change and post here. Tah-dah! Here I am...posting!

Life has been busy, busy, busy. With my new weight-loss/workout regime, I've been burning off the fat and trying to look more like a woman and less like a walrus. There's been a lot of stress and the cankers are back with a vengeance. I also have to wonder if, through the course of eating a more cleanly diet, the virus is just shedding. I suppose that's possible, too. I just hate them with a passion, though. Ugh!

So, my department has grown by two people in a little over two weeks (the other person starts next Tuesday). That's insane to me, but completely necessary. We have the largest group of students starting today than we've ever had in the history of the University. That's exciting and intimidating. I hope we don't crack from the strain.

My girls will start dance next week. Both are so excited! My youngest will tell anybody who will listen (perfect strangers!) that she's "going to dance jazz" when she's a big girl (which just happens to be next week). Boy, we become a big girl quickly, don't we? The eldest started gymnastics last week and also has a class today. It's funny. Over the summer, she put on a bit of weight and height. Initially, I thought she was putting on puberty weight then I thought about it. She's been pretty sedentary and the activities are about to kick up in a big way again. I have a sneaking suspicion that my once petite chocolate-chip will be petite once again. How could she not with two hours of gymnastics and an hour of dance per week, not to mention all the running around at school.

Married life...is, well...strange right now. I've confessed my feelings of loneliness to my dear hubby and it has him all in a quandary. I don't want him to give up the things he loves for me, or he will be miserable but I also don't want to lose the time I have with him or I'm miserable. It's been very difficult these last few days. Trying to talk and feeling the strain of our thought processes behind the talking. I'm not sure what will happen, but we've both said we still love each other very deeply. That has never changed.

I stopped writing again. Surprise, surprise; however, I did churn out a children's story that I actually completed (based on recent events with our missing Chihuahua). It's actually pretty good and encourages children to adopt animals from the shelter. I have a friend whose hubby is an artist. I may work with him to bring the story to life. Wouldn't it be awesome if it were ever published? A girl can dream...

Henna, Birthdays and Balloons

The weekend was filled with party, party, party. My eldest had her very first slumber party and she was too thrilled. We spent Thursday after work cleaning the house from top to bottom. Friday afternoon was filled with the same. Hubby went to buy the junk food for the kids to feast on all night, along with the next morning's breakfast items. I went out and picked up the pizzas and movies. Here is what I rented (in case you're wondering what to use for a little girl's sleepover):

1. Mama Mia
2. Confessions of a Teenage Drama Queen
3. The Cheetah Girls
4. Sisterhood of the Traveling Pants

For goody bags home, I put in lots of dollar store items: Girlie stickers (the stickers were of high-heels, make-up, tiaras, clothes, etc...), lip gloss, bubble gum, a notepad with a girlie slogan (Drama Queen, Rock Star, Chicks Rule, etc...), a matching magnetic pen with the same slogan, and Lee press-on nails. I think they were happy.

The girls arrived fairly close to start time, with only our relative only able to stay for the party, only. They ate pizza, listened to scary stories while they ate, and drank strawberry lemonade from plastic wine goblets. Afterward, we sang happy birthday, blew out the candles and opened presents. From mom and dad, she got the first season of the Brady Bunch, crystal earrings, a karaoke disc and a new mp3 player to replace her broken one. From the guests, a host of make-up and girlie items.

After opening presents, they went downstairs and did the karaoke thing for a bit, even getting my sister in the mix. Once that was done, they popped in a movie, ate more junk and played twister. By 11:00pm, we told them that winding down time had to start, since we wanted to sleep. They obliged and we didn't hear much from them...until the eldest came to the door telling us one of the parents was on the way.

Well, one of the children happened to be allergic to animals. Why the parent didn't say anything when he dropped her off (and, very clearly saw our dogs) or why the child didn't say anything, I'll never know. We also had plenty of antihistamines that I could have given her, had someone let me talk to the child's mother. In any case, the child went home at 12:30pm. I was so tired.

The departing child left us with only one guest, which made dealing with clean up and everything else that much easier. The child was happy and so was the Babe. After everyone left, I took care of me by coloring my hair...with Henna.

I purchased all natural Henna (we're talking the pulverized plant) and mixed it with lemon juice. Added this to my hair then let it "cook" for about 2.5 hours. My hair was a flame. I'm supposed to see darkening and changes over the next three days and have seen a bit already. Hubby loves it. I think it will look great with my braids, come September.

Sunday was the last day of the balloon festival. It was amazing! We got there in time for the launch (7ish) and ate the buffet breakfast. We were high up in the mountains, so we dressed for the occasion. I would never have thought 39 would be the temp on an August day. Woo wee, it was cold! The air was crisp and smelled of fall. It made me so happy to smell fall, but no where near thrilled to lose feeling in my fingers.

A fun-filled weekend and a happy 9th birthday to my eldest child.

Finding Happiness

I'm having a hard time with this, again. There's so much going on at work and home. Life has become very uneventful and boring. I need something to look forward to. My trip to Nashville isn't or a couple of months and the weekends just don't last long enough. Can't take vacation time (gotta save it for Christmas). What to do? How do you take a vacation from yourself without actually going anywhere?

Do I Have to?

School is starting up soon and I'm actually very happy about it. It gets one raggedy child out of my house, which is a God-send, and gives the younger one her power-over-the-house back. It's the homework that I'm not looking forward to. Her homework becomes my homework (overseeing, instructing and assisting). They don't tell you that when you become a parent, you become a back-up to the teacher, too. I guess, with my own mother, I just figured she was doing her job (my mother, for a time, was a school-teacher). I am not looking forward to more multiplication drills, basic geometry, projects, and book reports. Okay, maybe book reports. Those are kind of fun.

Dance and gymnastics will also begin at the end of the month. They'll be busy and I'll be broke. There's no happy medium, yet. One day, the eldest will have a job and will be able to fund some of her own activities. I keep telling myself that the day will come but, truth be told, I'll probably continue to help sponsor this kid till her teen years. I'd rather she fret about her studies and homework than money. She'll have her whole life to fret over money.

Hubby and I are feeling a little restless. I feel it from both of us, but I'm not sure how we're going to get past it. There's so much to do and never enough time. Sometimes, it's our finances that hold us back and sometimes, it's life and all that it throws at us. I need my plumbing fixed, my kitchen redone, tile in the bathrooms, a new dining room table, my carpet extracted, paint down the stairwell, all of our photos hung up. The list just goes on and on. We try to set-up projects yearly and we do okay, but not as well as we could.

Summer Activities

We haven't done the family swim thing, yet, but we're planning to. We also want to participate in this year's fair and the ever popular balloon festival. I'm also trying to plan the Babe's birthday party (which will come in the form of a "slumber" theme this year). Oy! I must be out of my mind. A bunch of pre-adolescents running around my house, eating everything in site. I did, however, decide that she'd only have two or three girls over (not a whole posse).

Dance camp starts next week and the Babe has been bugging me mercilessly about it. Today, the director sent the schedule and I had her read it on my computer. Now, at least, she knows when it is and what to expect. There is a "celebrity" teacher being brought in and the parents sure felt it with the cost of the camp ($130 for two days). Yeah, we must love this kid.

I've been subjecting(?) my kids to movies and shows from my childhood. Right now, they are watching The Wonderful World of Strawberry Shortcake. Not that tart that's out now, but the cute, floppy-hat Strawberry from the 80's. My youngest is completely enchanted...my oldest loves the music more so than the stories (I think Strawberry is 6 or 7 years old, so it's understandable). Last night, we watched Steve Martin's, All of Me. (The babe is a huge fan of The Jerk; "You mean, I'm going to stay this color?!).

I'd forgotten how funny it is! We just laughed and laughed. It's been a lot of fun, cashing in on mom's Net.flix account and being nostalgic with my eldest.

Work is pretty much the usual. I'm getting anxious about hiring folks. It just seems to sit, sit, and sit. Why is it so hard? We have applications and interviews, then nothing. It's gotta happen before the fall rush. It's the same every year; September= a flood of students. All the time anytime still means people believe school starts in September.

Stirred by Dreams

They've been heavy and weird, as of late. Hubby always says I dream heavy, but often I don't remember what they're about. Last night, I woke up with a "face in the place" and really didn't know where I was or what was going on. Turns out, hubby was dreaming to. Damn, what the hell is going on with us? Dreaming of sexy times, with sexy times happening...along with the whole euphoria thing? Is that what it feels like to be high? If so, I can understand how people become addicts.

I've Been Writing

Not a lot, but more than I used to. I've been feeling motivated to write again. My problem is that, in the past, I've begun lots of stories and drafts, but have left them unfinished. I'm trying to keep up the momentum. I started a children's story (a reader, actually) based on the recent events of our dog getting lost and then re-found. Part of it is my encouragement to children to adopt animals from shelters.

I haven't worked on it since last week, but my plan is to do a bit of writing (creatively) every day. It would be nice to be published again...a sort of contribution to my immortality. We'll see where it leads me.

We Found Our Dog!

It's so wonderful! Shortly after I picked up the babe from summer camp, we came home to try and make a flyer for our door-knocking agenda (our next plan of action in the search). Just as we were leaving, the phone rang and a lady said she had our dog. She said that she called the number on the tag, which led her to our vet. Turns out, we share the same vet and they felt comfortable sharing our information with her. I'm so glad they did. We hurried over and ended up making a new friend.

That little stinker traveled about a mile to get to her house. Not only that, he crawled under her fence and made friends with her husky. Well, all's well that ends well. He's safe and the whole family is so happy. It was such a load off our minds, knowing he was safe. I just kept envisioning a big, mean dog using him as a chew-toy. Yikes!

Oh Where Oh Where has my Little Dog Gone?

It's a sad day in my household. One week ago today, we adopted a dog from the shelter. One week prior to that, my hubby and girls made a visit to the shelter, where they fell in love with this little dog. Normally, we aren't fans of the rat-dogs, but this one was a charmer. He didn't bark at us and was so gentle. Not your average Chihuahua in any sense, my hubby had me visit the shelter after work to see him. I was convinced that he needed to be in our family.

We had to wait a few days before we could adopt him, but adopt him we did. He was so cute and followed the girls and me around everywhere. Hubby took him to the vet last Tuesday for a checkup and to see why his cough was so bad (I suspected kennel cough, considering where he'd been). My suspicions were confirmed and the vet put him on antibiotics. I worked for a vet office for two and one half years of my life, so I have experience with animals in the medical sense. I taught hubby and the babe how to hold our new little dog, while I gave him his meds. I'm sure that's why he stopped following me around and decided everyone else in the family was safe.

Each morning and evening, I would shoot yucky meds into his mouth via syringe. Yeah, we weren't really bonding anymore (but he was still cute, sweet and (although timidly) trying to get to know me. This morning, I let both dogs out to potty. They both came in together, shortly thereafter and ran around my feet for a bit. My older dog is a mite jealous but very big, so his running was more of a circling. After a little while, my older dog indicated he wanted to go out again, so out they both went. When I went to call them in, only my older dog appeared.

I searched the backyard frantically for our new, little Chihuahua. Nothing. I had my daughter check up front. Nothing. Then, we started combing the neighborhood. Still, nothing. She was becoming distressed. I called the animal shelter and alerted them that he was missing. They assured me that if anyone called, they would call me. Cynic that I am, I had visions of some horrid person removing his tags and claiming him for their own. It could happen, you know.

Work neglected, I emailed my boss and coworkers, letting them know what was happening. I went back out in my car with the kids, calling his name and searching the neighborhood for him. It was drawing near to the babe's summer camp time, so we called it quits and headed home.

After I dropped her off, I checked the neighborhood again, came back online and told my coworkers that I hadn't found him. My one colleague, wonderful lady that she is, insisted that I keep looking and not to worry about work (since I'd covered for her last week when her daughter got sick). I felt guilty, but also felt better to have more time to search for him. I piled Indy into her stroller and set off. My next-door neighbor drove by and said he'd search too (what a good guy!) and so I headed toward the local park, hoping some kids had found him and were playing with him. No luck.

We kept walking, the sun beating down on me making me drip sweat all over the pavement. No one can say I didn't put forth a good effort. Dehydrated, I alerted another neighbor, who sent her kids out on their bikes. They searched a bit, then headed back to their skate boards. I couldn't blame them for that. My driving-neighbor came home and suggested I post a lost ad online, which I did. I will also create a flyer.

Oh, I can't believe how awful I feel! Even though we hadn't quite bonded yet, I still feel completely mom-responsible for him. I'm so concerned that he'll get hurt or attacked (he's only four pounds and we were steadily working to put a little weight on him.). We were going to schedule his neutering this week, but I guess we were a few days to late. Those man parts make a dog wander like no other! I'm hopeful, but very depressed. My oldest has had a really hard time this year and she was really starting to perk up with this new dog. He loved her best, I think. Hubby keeps calling and I wonder if he'll rearrange his trainings this afternoon, in order to help look. I've had to take care of Indy, so the search has been off for a while. Gosh, I hope he's okay and I hope someone does the kind/right thing and gets him back to us quickly and safely. He didn't have his meds this morning, or his breakfast...poor little guy. Honestly, my daughter doesn't need anymore heart-break this year.

Have you ever lost a pet? What did you do? Did you find him? Is there something else I should try?

A Peak Into the Future

Tuesday night, hubby and I watched Push. It was a fairly decent, character Sci-Fi that could have used a little help in some places. The idea was a good one, though, revolving around extreme testing on psychics. The next day (yesterday) was my all-staff meeting, so I had to drive into town. It was the normal speech, along with the announcement of our yearly bonus (woohoo). Afterwards, I was ready to bust outta there but couldn't because the person who was supposed to have the parking validations, didn't have them. Nice.

So, I'm standing around with coworkers talking, when we notice that there are caricature artists. Really? My girlfriend and I run over to have our picture drawn. It was too much fun and the artist seemed to enjoy our goofiness. Over the hedge, we could see people sitting with a folks. One lady had cards. Tarot? Do we dare? But of course!

Picture drawn, we headed over to the line to wait for our fortune-telling session. There were two tables; one featured a very large lady with a massive deck of cards, the other was a gentleman who used no paraphernalia to speak of. Those of us in line chatted, while we waited for our turn. In my mind, I hoped to speak to the guy, rather than the lady. Intuition? Who knows. I just felt I'd get a better answer from him.

My turn arose and I sat in front of the middle-aged gentleman with silver-hair and a medium build. He took my right hand into both of his and introduced himself. I returned with my own name and we began.

"You have a light around you...a wonderful light and I can see you're surrounded by love." (so far, so good...) "You, yourself have a lot of love to give."

We go on and I tell him my question/statement; that I'm at a crossroads and I'm not sure which way to go or what to do, at this point. He basically tells me that I need to throw logic out the door and go with my heart. That logic isn't what's going to give me what I want. He said that my angels were telling his angels that I could have whatever I wanted. (Really??) He said that I had talents to share and that I should share my talents and not be afraid too (I took this as letting go of my inhibitions, which I never do). He told me, again, that I have a lot of love to give and that I should do so freely. He also said that I'm in a mode of study and that the things I am learning now, are what I will need when I do what I'm going to do (which, he said, I already know what I want to do). I have to send it out and make it known so that I can be "assisted" in that direction.

How eye-opening! It's interesting because I don't put much stock into such things, but I was actively listening with my ears and with my heart. It was good to hear and I needed to hear it. Hubby tells me all the time that I "hold back" and I know that I do (upbringing). Was confirmation from a third-party what I needed to get me moving? Will I really move past this "dead zone" in my life? I have to say, too, that I loved the terminology he used; Christian references. It set my mind at ease. My girlfriend felt good about hers, too.

Oh, So Dependent

Yesterday, I was faced with my dependency on my Internet access. The modem was malfunctioning (as it's prone to do, sometimes) and I cycled the power a few times, only to have it set there helplessly, doing nothing. I called tech support. Need I say more? It was awful! It's not even that I'm calling India and there's a massive language barrier, but it's when they talk to me like I'm a complete moron. Excuse me, I'm not some run-of-the-mill user who doesn't have a clue. I do know what I'm talking about. The most frustrating thing, yesterday? I would go through my steps and then Mr. Tech-man would regurgitate everything I just said in question form (as if reading his technical manual, which is probably what he was doing).

"Look, dumb ass, didn't I just say I did that?" Ugh! I wish I were brave enough to just say it when I feel it. Of course, I was polite (but in a frustrated sort of way). I guess if I said what I felt all the time, I would be alone. He would also put me on perma-hold while he read his manual (I knew what he was doing. Who did he think he was dealing with?) . After nearly two and one half hours of running around from phone line to phone line, testing the modem, he scheduled a technical service call. I was so done, by then. I called hubby and vented, only to look over and see the light illuminated on the modem. What the hell? Had to call and cancel the service call.

In hindsight, I should have hung up and called back when I realized I had someone who didn't have a clue. Oh, well. Live and learn. Hubby and I are now considering going back to cable as an Internet source (and also upgrading our TV service at the same time). Gosh, why not? If I can talk to a tech support lady/guy in the states...I'm all for it.

What do you do about a screamer?

We've got one on our staff. She's a Ph.D who lives in Virgina and has worked at my company for years. She's brilliant, but sneaky and underhanded. My coworker is absolutely terrified of her and it seems those who work closely with her, are as well. How can you work for someone you're scared of? I guess times really are hard.

Anyway, we had a call with her yesterday and she proceeded to yell at pretty much everyone on the call. Who puts up with that kind of behavior? There is a way to talk to people with respect and dignity, even if you're angry. You certainly don't want to burn bridges or make enemies. I still feel badly, however, because I arranged the call. It was oh, so necessary. We had deadlines and they weren't going to be met. People were putting the blame on our department, but the blame was solely on hers. My boss is out of town, so something had to be done and right away. Honestly, my intent wasn't to get anyone in trouble, but merely to clear our name and alert everyone to the problems. I hope I didn't cause more problems as a result. My boss gets back today and I'm a bit worried.

On the home front, hubby is irritated with me as I am with him. He has clients, as I've said, but why do they call at all hours? Why does he have to answer the phone, when we're just sitting down to dinner or going to bed or talking? I was huffy and left him to his call last night, while the girls and I waited patiently for him to get off the phone so that we could eat dinner together. He claims I stormed off, but I really didn't. I was irritated, though and that's probably what he sensed. I even said as the phone was ringing,

"You need to set some hours!"

Honestly, can't he check the messages later...at least after dinner? This morning, he went to the gym, saying very little to me. I have a feeling he'll be pissy for the remainder of the day. Oh, well. I still feel how I feel. We can talk about it later.

Wonderful Vacation...Now, Back To Reality

Today marks my first (somewhat) full week back at work. It's weird and I'm not thrilled about it. It's so hard to come back. It used to be that I would vacation and, around the fifth day or so, I'd be ready to get back to it. Not so much. I could have vacationed another month or two. Seriously! I did not want to come back. I think I'm no longer cut-out for career mode, working, the rat-race, whatever. Hubby thinks I should focus efforts on my writing and I'm considering it seriously. Of course, I still have to pay bills. Can't up and quit my job (God, don't I wish!). Lol!

Can you believe July is nearly here? Where did June go? The summer is racing along at NASCA.R speeds. What is up?

You Thrilled Me

I can't let this day go by without commenting on one of the greatest (albeit eccentric) entertainers of all time. My first encounter with the King of Pop was second grade. I had a little record player that I played 45s on, mainly record/book combos. I remember finding the Off the Wall album in my parents collection and, even though my player sometimes skipped the best parts, I learned every song on that album. I envisioned myself meeting this amazing singer one day (who didn't live very far from me).

By third grade, I was rocking my Thriller cassette nearly as much as my Off the Wall album. He was the greatest to everyone in my class. No one had anything negative to say about Michael Jackson. I remember the red jackets that adorned several of my male classmates and there wasn't one soul who didn't yearn for a sparkling glove. Good or bad, right or wrong, the impact he made upon our world will last forever. I hope you find the peace in death that you couldn't find in life, Michael. Rejoice, for you are free.

Total Drama, but We're Here!

Wednesday afternoon after work was probably one of the hardest afternoons of my life. Next to leaving my first born at the hospital after I was discharged, this is probably next in line. I can't get into all the details because they are not my details to share. I will just say this; I am not opposed to chemical castration. It's a good thing we were going on vacation the next day. I really needed it.

At 4:30am Thursday morning, my household was busy with everyone skittering around, getting ready to leave. We left around 5:20am (really wishing we'd left at 5:00am). No matter. We arrived at the airport in plenty of time, found a space next to the shuttle stop and hopped on, headed for the terminal. We made it...to a line that looked about a mile long. We were fortunate, though. People must be getting more savvy about the airline kiosks. The line moved along quickly and we were done checking in within about ten minutes.

We boarded our South.West flight to Denver with ease. Settled into our unreserved seats and had a good ole time for about an hour. Hubby, with the girls and me on an aisle seat across from him by myself. Sweet! In Denver, we grabbed breakfast at McDonald's then hoped on our next flight to Orlando. Two hours and 44 minutes later, we were still circling the airport. Why? Oh, a massive storm just happened to hit a few minutes before our arrival. Any lighting seen within five miles of an airport and the airport gets closed. Did you know that? We didn't either.

Running out of gas at 10,000 feet is not cool, so off to Fort Myer for a fill-up. We hung around their airport, in the plane, for about thirty minutes (within that time, I learned a little more about my seatmates. A grandmother and her granddaughter, returning from a funeral in Wyoming. The granddaughter was quite charming) then back up in the air to get to Orlando. Via a detour route, we finally arrived in Orlando at 7:00pm...three hours later than our scheduled landing time.

Missing the first Hertz shuttle (because it was just too dang full) we caught the next one to pick up our car. Hubby's driving a 2008 Hond.a Accord. It's burgundy with cream/tan interior. The girls love it! Indy calls it "our red car".

Riding along on the speedy toll road is great...until you hit the tolls. My MSN instructions only mentioned one toll booth but, actually, there were three. Nice. Good thing we thought to bring lots of quarters. The rental has a pass on the window, but we weren't really sure how to use it. We'll be doing a bit of research later today or tomorrow because our plan is to venture back to Orlando this weekend (Sunday and then Monday, maybe).

It's now 8:30pm, Thursday evening. My girls are tired and hungry and we're all just ready to check in and be done with the never ending day. The Daytona Beach Regency resort was to be our final destination, but when we arrived, our desk clerk informed us that there was no room in the inn. Oy! But, never fear! They booked us next door at the OceanWalk Resort. What a good God I serve! Seriously? Our timeshare? Yes!! Hubby and I were ecstatic! You see, we tried to book here earlier in the year, but it was full. So, we arranged for the next best thing. Daytona Regency rated well and was within our budget, but to be able to stay where we're familiar with everything is a nice treat. Oh, did I mention? They upgraded us to a two-bedroom condo with separate entrances. Sweet! We can't even hear the kids when they're acting like monkeys!

The main area has a living room with Murphy bed, 52" t.v., full kitchen, laundry facilities, king-sized master bedroom with 32" t.v., walk-in closets, garden-jetted tub, walk-in shower, and ocean view. The separate room has a kitchenette, 19" screen t.v., two queen-sized beds and pool-side view. We are in heaven and totally teaching our daughter about the virtue of patience and what it can bring you.

Last night? We ate at Bubba Gump's which was pretty tasty. We strolled the Ocean walk area a bit before heading home. It was late, but I made the girls shower and get fresh before bed. They were very grateful for their shower. Seems the humidity factor didn't really hit home until after they'd showered and realized they really needed it. Hubby and I relaxed in the garden tub (gotta get me one of these!). He tried to pick us up some drinks down at the bar in the lobby, but the bartender had announced "last call", just before he got down there. He was bummed, but she encouraged him to come back tomorrow (today) for her Hurricanes. The tub soaking was still nice without the drinks, but that would have been the icing on the cake. We showered off afterwards, then went to bed (but not to sleep, snicker, snicker).

This morning, I took video and pictures of the resort in the light of day. Indy came in and told me that she slept well and I opened the curtain, so that she could see the ocean:

"Mom, the ocean is so beautiful and shiny," my three year-old announced to me.

I agreed and let her know that she would be swimming in it soon. She's so excited. My eldest is bouncing off the walls! We keep putting her in check, but it doesn't seem to be making much difference. She's just so stinking excited. We keep trying to remind her of things she did here, but she doesn't remember. I hope this time, the memories stick.

Later, we went to visit my grandmother. It was as if she'd aged twenty years, but I suppose it's hard to see someone you know who's always been independent, living in a retirement home. She is completely silver-haired. It amazed me! (she's colored her hair for as long as I can remember). Her nails were painted and that made me happy. I told her she still looked glamorous. I was so glad she knew me and seemed genuinely happy to see all of us. This is the first time Indy has ever met her great-grandmother. Hubby took lots and lots of pictures.

So, why am I typing this post on my holiday/vacation? My hubby just left to go work-out at the gym. He's trying to keep his regime. I understand, but it still makes me sad that he left. He called a few minutes ago to tell me that he's not running away from me and that he's having a good time with all of us, he just wants to try and stay on track. I don't like it, but I get it. I laid on the guilt pretty thick and he actually seemed moved...for a moment, then off he went. Sigh.

When he gets back, I'm hoping we'll hit the beach or hit the pool. The oldest has been worrying us to death about the water. I must admit, I am eager to get in there myself. I also wouldn't mind doing a stroll around town. This really is a pretty place with a lot of good memories for me.

Whistle While You Work

We are either incredibly efficient or OCD. I haven't quite decided which. The truth is, whenever we get ready to leave for vacation, we clean. And, I'm not just talking about a little dusting or some glass cleaner, I'm talking rent-the-rug-doctor-and-scrub-the-oven-range-hood clean. Last night, hubby was steam cleaning like a crazy man. The day before, I was dusting, wiping and sucking up dust bunnies that had never seen the light of day. Today, we will divide and conquer the remaining work (laundry, mopping, bathroom cleaning/scrubbing, and packing). We'll need a vacation, just to get away from all the cleaning! The idea, really, is to leave a clean house and come back to one. Who wants to come back to a junky pig-stye after resting and relaxing for a week. It would be utterly depressing (that's why it has never happened in this family).

My mother is away right now, jaunting around Vegas with my sister in her rented, luxury sedan. She hasn't been since the 70's, so I know it was a total eye-opener for her, driving down the strip for the first time (in decades) Monday evening. Surprisingly, she hasn't really toured/visited the resorts. She's simply decided to go brain-dead in the condo and just relax. I can appreciate that. Tonight, they're supposed to see Way.ne Brady at the Venetian. I hope she has a good time. She really deserves it.

Hubby and I had a little evening spat last night over money. It wasn't even over the lack of money, it was just talking about the money that pushed me over the edge. It was 11:00 (way past my bedtime) and we were talking about how much cash to carry on us. We have our budget, so we subtracted all of the money we've spent thus far for the trip. The problem arose when hubby couldn't find the exact amount for the airline tickets. I was trying to pull up the site and do a quick check, but he took my over-assertiveness as a, "You think you're the only one who has ideas," idea. Great! We tried to work through the issue, last night but I was just too tired. I remember telling him that I didn't mean for my actions to be taken that way and that all I wanted to do was just get it done (I really, really hate talking about money). He seemed better this morning, but you never can tell.

So, where are we going? This family is making an east-coast trek to Florida. While there for fun in the sun, we'll also stop over and see my grandmother. My hubby's best friend lives there as well. My hope is to work on some control issues I have, while I'm away. The control is internal and I have a hard time letting go. I really want to let go, have fun, and not stress about every little thing. Can I do it? It will be a better vacation overall for everyone if I can.

I'm hoping the weather cooperates a little better there than what's going on here. I know Florida has had a bit of rain, but when it's 90 degrees, does anyone really notice? We've been getting dumped for what seems like weeks here. So out of the ordinary for this time of year. A coworker told me that a front usually in place over Arizona (I think) is not there this year, so all the weather that typically gets blocked is hitting us full on. Would someone please turn off the spicket up there? Surely, we've gotten enough water.

I've Already Checked Out

Our vacation doesn't officially start for me until Thursday, but I am already basking on the beach. The sun is beaming down on me and a gentle breeze tickles my face, while my children try to dodge the waves. My hubby and I sip drinks with umbrellas and laugh at the man pulling the speedos out of his crack. It's bliss!

Hubby's vacation officially started on Saturday, lucky duck. He's been around for the last couple of days, tidying up, paying bills and running errands. Actually, I think he officially checked-out two weeks ago. He's so excited! It's fun to watch him and listen to him talk about all the things we're going to do. He's such a big kid.

My eldest keeps asking about when and where we're going. True to tradition? She hasn't been told a thing. Boy, is she going to be surprised!

When All You Can Do Is Watch & Wait

Based on a comment GC made the other day, I thought I'd talk a bit about someone who is the complete opposite of my workaholic hubby; my best friend's hubby.

My bff and I met in college, back in 1993 (phew those years!). She was engaged to be married by our Senior year. I really liked the guy and went out with them several times (best way to know, you know?) . I thought he was a good match for her and I felt that he truly loved her. Unfortunately, he got cold feet and in a bad way; he completely stopped communicating with her. She heard from him about a year later, when he showed up to say;

"I was trying to find a job for you." Um, what?

There were other guys after him, but she found a guy who she communicated with long distance through her work. He lived in New York, but the distance didn't seem to deter their relationship. They began flying back and forth to see each other. Personally, I thought their visits weren't enough to really know where their relationship was going. I mean, you fly into town, have the best time for two or three days, then leave. You don't have that "grocery shopping", "pay the bills", "be around each other so much, you start to make each other sick" time you really need to have to get to know someone.

So, time went on and the company they worked for folded. They laid off both parties (which totally sucked) and my bff spent the next year and a half working odd jobs, until she found the one she has now (she's very happy). He was trying to figure out if he should take another job in New York, or move down to where she was and try to find something there. He chose to move and they became engaged. He had a nice severance package, so he was able to move, rent a new apartment and furnish it well without taking to much of a punch. He began looking for work and they made plans to marry.

They lived in separate apartments and got to know each other better (which is good, because I was very worried about this). Oh, before I forget, an incident occurred that brought up a red flag for me before he ever moved to Nashville. My hubby's grandmother passed and the three of us made arrangements for hubby to stay with my bff. Now, keep in mind, we've all known each other since college and we all hung out as friends before hubby and I ever got toghether. It only made since to all of us that he stay with her in her spare bedroom, rather than rack up expense. She explained this to her fiance and he was fine. Well, hubby went and was rarely at her apartment because of funeral arrangements and visiting friends and family. One night, fiance calls and hears hubby laughing at something on t.v. Fiance flies into a rage and becomes almost impossible (hubby and bff's words). Hubby told me later that he thought his reaction was completely bizarre, seeing as how he knew hubby would be there. We all sort of wrote it off, but hubby and I never forgot that incident.

I met hubby-to-be the day before their wedding (at the wedding rehearsal) and wasn't sure what to make of him, at first. He seemed nice enough, but we didn't talk much. The wedding came and went with lots of drama (as weddings do), especially with my bff's new mother-in-law.

Fast forward. They've been married nearly four years. To date, this man does not have a job. I can't imagine that his severance has lasted this long (I seem to remember her saying that she didn't want to dip into his 401K, but perhaps that's what they are doing now). They live in a very nice area of town and he drives an MDX. He's also a "labels" man, only buying the best of everything. She is more down-to-earth and conservative. It could come from K-Mart, and she would be fine with that.

What does he do all day? She used to tell me about the jobs he was interviewing for. When he wasn't interviewing, he was house cleaning. Now she doesn't tell me anything. I don't ask, either. I'm nearly afraid to! My hubby is in total cop mode about this and thinks he's shady as hell (I'd say, I have to agree at this point). Are they living on her paycheck alone? Does he collect monies from some "mysterious" source? She was very downtrodden, the last time I was in Nashville (2007). She confessed that she felt guilty because he moved down there for her. I told her that, that was his choice. She also felt badly because she had just been given a permanent job at her current company and he was totally unsupportive.

So, we wait. I want her to wake up and kick that dead-beat's ass out of her apartment (it's her apartment, as far as I'm concerned, because she's paying the rent...I'm sure). She wanted and deserved so much from their relationship and, from what I can see, they just keep moving backwards. He's over 40. There is no excuse. I love her dearly she is the god-mother to both my girls. There really isn't anything I would deny her, if she asked me...but I know she won't. I don't bring it up because it's such a touchy subject so, I wait. I'm really getting tired of waiting.

Popularity Can Be Profitable

My hubby has picked up two, additional clients for personal training. He is totally getting paid! It's nice to have the extra income (and it will be super lovely to have it as spending money on our vacation in a couple of weeks) but the trade off? I have to wait until the wee hours to see him. I've told him this and he claims that, because of the way he's scheduling his clients, we'll still get plenty of time together. I know I shouldn't complain. There are plenty of people who have husbands who don't work and just plain don't give a damn. Mine has always worked like a friggin dog.

I suppose this is why he's so retirement focused. He wants to build up to a nice nest-egg for our "after life", so to speak. One where we can enjoy each other and not worry about financial woes. I appreciate that thought process, truly. It's something my own father never thought to do and now suffers daily for it. I think, in this suffering economy, more people are taking stock of their future and trying to assess what are priorities and what aren't. We're also being more creative with our spending. With our new habits, I hope (when things finally get better) we don't revert back to bad habits; but, history tells us a lot, doesn't it.

From the Beginning

The Day of Surgery:

Hubby and I dropped off the kidlets and headed to the vision center. It is approximately 40 minutes away from where we live, but we made it there in about thirty (thanks to hubby's lead foot). We headed to the Target next door because I'd been so nervous, I hadn't had anything to eat. I knew they would be giving me anxiety meds so a stomach with padding (food) would be best. I had a hot cinnamon and sugar pretzel. Yum!

We headed over to the vision center directly after, with only ten minutes to spare (thanks to an uber slow check-out lady who felt it necessary to learn the life stories of every person in her line). I signed in and the receptionist asked my name. She pulled my file and directed me to a desk directly west of her to make payment. One thousand of the payment came from varied sources, while the remainder (about $2500) went straight to their finance company (no interest for two years). I could hear a girl behind me complaining that her eye felt like it had sand in it. The nurse explained that it was probably the bandage contact lens (must be a PRK patient, I thought immediately).

"Bandage contact? When can I take it out?"

"Your optometrist will take it out in four to five days."

Uh, talk about uninformed! What the hell?! I have to say that the clinic does a great job at letting you know what to expect. When you call to schedule an appointment for your scans, they send you a huge packet to read through. The day of your appointment, you are given a portable DVD player to watch a video on the various procedures and how they work. Then, after your scans, you talk to a counselor who tells you everything to expect. How the heck didn't she know about the bandage contact lenses? I wanted to take her and shake her when I heard her complaining. Hubby was in total agreement. Even he knew what to expect.

My payment taken care of, we were directed to an area I hadn't been to before where we were asked to sit down. "Aurora" asked me if I'd filled my prescriptions and brought my refresh tears. But of course! She then told me that most patients were offered something to calm them down for the surgery. I was nodding even before she told me what she was going to give me. She giggled a bit and offered me a valium. Within minutes, I was taken to an exam room where hubby and I were greeted by the optometrist we'd met at our last visit. He had me read a sheet with information about the procedure (Girl in the waiting room, didn't you read your sheet?). He then performed another eye exam because it had been one month and one day since my scans were performed. Talk about thorough! He gave me a surgical bonnet and booties to wear, then he told me that the doctor would be in to talk with me shortly.

Hubby asked how long the procedure would take, then excused himself once the Aurora assured him she would call just as soon as I was done. The doctor arrived soon after hubby left and talked to me about the procedure. We also made some chit-chat about where I was from, which led him to tell me about his best memories of Nashville (oddly, they were of his first visit to an Outback Steak.house and his dish of their succulent crabs). I asked him about my sensitivity to lenses and how I was worried about the bandages. He asked me to tell the optometrist, once I saw him again, to give me diluted numbing drops. This gave me a great sense of relief.

The doctor left and I was moved to a waiting area where "Makayla" gave me instructions about my drops. Oh, and the Valium was starting to kick in. Great stuff! She told me that everything was on the sheet, since I was worried I would forget. It seemed as if I would be putting in drops all the time.

Behind me were two chairs, which I dubbed "Chair 1" and "Chair 2". There were patients in both. After a few minutes of being in the waiting area, the person in "Chair 1" was escorted into the surgery room. The "Chair 2" patient was moved to "Chair 1" and I was moved to "Chair 2". Makayla added numbing drops (which burned a bit) and my eye lids become very heavy and sticky. After a few minutes, she was back to add more drops. I sat feeling like a drug-head for just a few minutes more, when "Chair 1"'s occupant was moved into the surgery room. I became the new seat-warmer for "Chair 1." Makayla was back with more drops. Goodness! More? The, she took something that looked like a small double-forked prong and headed for my eye. She was going to mark for my astigmatism. She touched my cornea and I reacted.

"Can you feel that?"

"Yep," I informed her directly.

"Okay. Let me get some more drops." Gosh, were my eyes just immune to this stuff? (Later, when I looked at my eyes, I saw two, blue dots on either side of my pupils where she made her markings.) I chatted with the former "Chair 1" occupant's hubby, who informed me his wife was getting mono vision surgery in one eye. In "Chair 2", a very nervous lady sat fidgeting, nervous about her second run with Lasik (it seems one eye was over corrected). Thankfully, this clinic I used covers enhancements.

Mono vision lady appeared and her hubby grabbed her arm, then wished me luck.

"You're up," informed a nurse. I headed into the laser/surgery room where they laid me down on a table. I was asked to slide up and place my head in a cylinder type head area. My knees were raised and I was offered a "teddy bear". The teddy bear was a soft brick with tape all around it. I assumed the tape was to repair where fingernails had dug into it, once too often. I accepted the brick and prepared myself.

The doctor asked me to stare ahead at the green, flashing light. My first thought? The hulk is going to appear! I know, I'm such a nut. There were four, bright lights surrounding the green light, which sort of reminded me of stage lights. I kept my eye on the green light, as I was instructed to do. Again, more numbing drops and this time, I felt like my eyes were really numb. They taped down my bottom and top lashes (weird). Then, the added the speculum to keep my eye open (they described everything they were doing). Next, the doctor put on some sort of cup that placed pressure on my eye. It was uncomfortable, but tolerable. He then added the alcohol which would remove the epithelial layer from my cornea. The cup would keep the alcohol from running all over my eye (weird) and he informed me that the light may disappear while this process was performed (it did). He then washed away the alcohol, and the green light soon reappeared. This process (the alcohol portion) took 35 seconds and I could hear the nurse counting down the time. I got the impression that he was scraping away the epithelial layer that had been eaten away, but he did not say this. I was grateful, but I could certainly tell what he was doing. Next, the doctor informed me that the laser would correct my vision, and this would take 7 seconds. There would be a burning smell (and there was...weird...like burning tires) for the time frame the laser would be working. After the laser, he rinsed my eyes again, put in the contact lens and added an eye drop of some sort. The whole process took about two minutes, tops. It was then repeated on my left eye.

They were listening to the easy listening station and I was very aware of hearing, "Live Like you were Dying" as my surgery took place. How about that for a permanent memory. :) The nurse gave me her hand and pulled me up. Immediately, I could see very clearly. I expected this...I also expected what happened after taking about five steps; total blurriness. I was escorted back to the exam room and asked to sit with my eyes close.

To my great surprise, I heard "Aurora" come in and ask me if I'd like a fresh baked cookie. Heck yeah! Ooey, gooey chocolate chip loveliness was placed in my hand. She even set one aside for hubby. Next, the optometrist came in and took a look at my eye with the "scope". Bright light! Bright light! Man, they weren't kidding about light sensitivity. Yeesh! It was like a burn to the brain! They could see the dead epithelial cells off to the side of each eye. Eww! I hoped all the drops I would be using would wash those suckers away. They asked me if anyone had called my hubby. I wasn't sure. They made me put on my blue blockers then escorted me up front. The optometrist himself began placing the call to hubby when who should step off the elevator? I gave hubby his cookie and my thanks to everyone there.

We went to Sam's to pick up prescriptions (the lighting was horrific, even with the sunglasses), then we went home and I rested with the aid of a percoset. Later in the evening, I ate a bit, talked to my girls, then went back to sleep. My eyes didn't hurt or bother me, but there was a lot of blurriness. The goggles I have to wear for sleeping are crazy and I find myself sweating around the eyes from lack of circulation. I'll be glad when I don't have to wear them anymore (they don't look anything like the protective lenses hubby had to wear after his Lasik procedure. Not sure if these are are step up or not).



Day 2

I woke up to blurry vision and dry eyes. Hubby took the children to school and trained his client, while I rested in bed. I listened to my book on CD (Thrill) and ate myself into oblivion. Stress/boredom eating is not good when you're trying to get back into your two-piece. As the day wore on, the dry eye issue worsened. I met with my optometrist who was convinced I'd show up, pimp slap him and cuss him out (I thought that was pretty funny). He was amazed at how well I was doing and said that the epithelial layer was growing back nicely. After checking my vision on the chart, briefly, he said I was around 20/30 to 20/25 vision,

"But you understand it will get worse before it gets better."

Indeed. I understood this well. I told him about the numbing drops and how I hadn't used them yet, since the optometrist at the vision clinic informed me that it would hinder the epithelial growth. I told my optometrist that I would only use them as a last resort and that I would mainly rely on my refresh drops and percoset for pain management. He told me not to hold back and I assured him I wouldn't. ;)

Day 3

Ugh! The agony! Based on every story I'd read about PRK, this was to be the worst and, for me? It certainly was. Everything was so blurry and jumpy. My eyes felt like there were sand particles in them and I had the sensation that I was viewing everything from under water. I had to get the babe ready for her dance performance and apply some semblance of make up, before my mother arrived. My mother ended up putting on the lipstick because I couldn't focus on both the child's lips. Crazy! I took a percoset mid-day and slept to try and get past the day. I listened to From Dead to Worse on disc, along with a bit of Thrill. Hubby was very attentive, seeing to all my needs and generally being a good husband. I was on my drops like a crack addict, just to try and help the recovery process along. Overall, day three really sucked. I just prayed I'd get through it without being too much of a bitch.

Day 4

So much better than the day before. I even felt up to driving. Bad idea. The road was jumpy and the vision was super blurry with lots of ghosting. Good thing there isn't a lot of traffic on Sundays. Hubby wasn't impressed that I took it upon myself to get behind the wheel of a vehicle. How could he stop me, though? I, at least, brought home a stellar breakfast for everyone to enjoy. I ate with the family and enjoyed the company of my hubby and girls. By breakfast's end, I was ready to rest again. Hubby joined me in the back on his laptop (the ultra bright screen turned away from me, thank you very much) while I listened to the last of my Sookie Stackhouse book. He provided me with drops every hour, on the hour and helped me keep up with my drop-schedule from the doctor's office. I was off the Acular by this time (although, I never noticed it removing any pain). I really didn't have pain during any of this, per se. It was more discomfort than anything. Great discomfort on day three, but never pain. (blurry vision = blurry picture...sorry, folks)

Day 5

I drove my kid to school without too much difficulty. I then took Netflix videos to the post office, then back home for my drop-schedule (Here's an observation: the Omnipred feels the best...not surprising, since this is the steroid. Also, the drops run down my nose and throat, sometimes. They taste god-awful). I then took the youngest to the park, briefly (too hot). So, off to the library where she picked out her first book (on her own) to check out. It took a little persuading to get her to put the book on the counter for scanning. She just didn't want to let it go!

I've stayed on my refresh drops on the hour every hour and what's funny? I totally don't have to watch the clock. I know when it's time. The dryness is unmistakable. Can you believe I have to do this for the next month? Only after a month can I back down to refresh drops every two to three hours. It's totally necessary, though. Until the eyes learn how to produce their own moisture naturally again, this is what I'll have to do.

I suppose I'll limit the PRK updates to once a week or so. I believe my description here gives a pretty clear picture on what to expect. Everyone is different and healing is a long, slow process. I am optimistic, however. Every time I get a glimpse of visual sharpness, I think, "Woohoo! That's what I have to look forward to."