My Love Affair with Amy Winehouse

I've been playing her music non-stop for days and I still can't get enough. Both albums, Frank and Back to Black are genius! She's amazing to me. I've also been thinking and concerned about her health. How many amazing artists of old are no longer here because of substance abuse issues? Really, too many to count. I enjoy a drink just as much as the next guy but, to take it to levels where you black out or completely pass out? I just can't fathom. Is it fun? Is there some sort of charge out of laying in your own vomit for hours or not remembering what you did for several days in a row? I suppose I'll never understand but, truth be told, I'm drawn to the tragic artists. They seem to be so "in touch" with their souls and (probably) their pain.

Donny Hathaway is another one of those tragic artists that I love. Seriously, I'm having an affair with him too and have been for years. I can only listen to him in spurts though because I always cry. Always. He touches my heart and the weak places within me. I'm not sure how many people experience this with music and I probably sound like a raving lunatic but, it is what it is.

If Amy's tour hadn't been cancelled, I think I would have found my way to a venue to see her. It's too bad that so many artists bypass Utah because I'm sure she has a large fan base here. I suppose if she'd had a show in Las Vegas, I would have driven the six hours to see her. Interestingly, the seeing her is a separate issue altogether. She isn't the most pleasant thing to see in her current state.

From her Stronger Than Me video, I see a healthy, bluesy, ballsy chick rocking the hip-hop jazz for all it's worth. She's curvy, vivacious and healthy. In Rehab, she's a bit smaller, but echoes the girl bands of the 60's with perfection. I am so not crazy about the bouffant add-on but cat-eyes never go out of style. By Tears Dry on Their Own, I'm reminded of the Christian Children's Network advertisements and the children who haven't eaten in days. She's literally wasting away. If she were to perform for a live world tour, would she have the energy to do it? People who are in top condition like Janet Jackson and Madonna have postponed and cancelled shows from just exhaustion alone. Granted, they do a lot of dancing and spectacle and I doubt Amy would have as much flash. Still, I'm really hoping that she takes the time to focus on her health and doesn't become a musician statistic. It would be such a loss.

Back from Vacation

I've been back since Sunday, but it's been hard getting back into the rhythm of things, which also includes my attempts at exercising. I had started off well before I left, getting in a walk here or there or doing a workout video. It was a good habit in progress and then...vacation. Vacation to the south which equals to lots and lots of double-dipped, super fried craziness. I didn't go as overboard as I thought but it's still damage to work off.

Hubby and I missed each other during the five day hiatus, but we survived as did my eldest daughter (I took Indy with me. Hey, it's only a few more months before she's too old to fly for free. I definitely took advantage). He managed to get homework stuff done and house work. Amazing! She was happy to have her mom back and I was happy to see her, when I returned.

The trip was very nostalgic for me. I saw my sorority sisters, my best friend from high school, my best friend from college, my father and his wife and all the places I grew up going to and loving. Indy didn't do so well, intestinally that is. She was runny most of the trip. Hubby believes it had to do with the altitude change. That may be, but I also think the difference in food and it's preparation was major. We ate things she's never had before and I'm sure her stomach was rebelling.

As for seeing all my friends, it really made me miss those connections. At times, I thought I was intruding in the normal activities of their lives but it turns out, they never get together. Only a few miles apart, and no lunches, play dates or dinners to be had. Would that be different for me if I was there. I kind of think it would. I miss them tremendously, but I have no plans of ever moving back there.

The city had changed some, but not much. When I went back to my college town, I saw more changes there than anywhere. The street was heavily congested when I left but going back? It was terrible! They've built tons of new restaurants and stores on the major drag and there's just not enough room for everything and daily traffic. They're going to have to do something soon, if the population keeps growing (which it will). So much for the quaint, little college town I remember.

I'll be working out momentarily. I realized that my waist line is really struggling from the C-section I had. It's been hard getting that area toned up so, it's back to the Firm for me and perhaps a bit of Jane Fonda (I know it's dated, but I love her workouts!).

Black on White May Help

Going on and on with my little tangent yesterday must have made a difference...at least, somewhat. When I got home, hubby was working in the yard with the Babe so, I joined in where I could. Not exactly walking in the park, but activity nonetheless. By the time we were done, it was going on 6:00pm and the kids were hungry. Hubby suggested picking something up and then taking it to the park to eat. This wasn't really a practical idea on a school night, so we went out to dinner at a buffet (with coupon!) instead.

Let's just say I enjoyed myself a little too much. By my third trip up, I knew I had blown it for the day (the third trip, by the way, was to the dessert bar so, I 'm doing better than others). Chicken Parmigiana, bread sticks, butterfly fried shrimp, veggie rice, chocolate chip cookies, double fudge brownies. It was a really exceptional Tuesday night dinner and my body was quick to judge me for it.

Afterwards, we strolled around a department store that was located in the same parking lot. I ended up getting a pair of sandals, since my other ones broke on the way to my car last night. I was really bummed. They were lovely, even if they were from Payless. We also bought Indy another Elmo DVD. Potty Time Elmo, or something like that. It might as well be worth while, if we're buying a DVD for a toddler.

When we got home it was "get the kids ready for bed and reading time". It was also, pull-the-left-incisor-tooth-from-the-babe's-mouth time, too. She lost most of her baby teeth last year, but there are still a few left. It wasn't as stressful as in times before thank goodness. She woke up with a nice, new dollar this morning. I think I'll ask her for a loan.

This morning, I woke up to work and was almost done when I decided, "I'm going to do my workout," and I did. Twenty minutes later, I had done a small workout and had broken a mild sweat. It's a start and, I figure, it will help get today started right and maybe make up for yesterday's damage. I felt really good afterward (as I always do after a workout, but apparently, that's not enough) and totally ready for the day. I've really got to get back into a more regular schedule. Truly!

My trip back East is coming up in less than a week. I've been invited to two events, not involving my best friend and I'm feeling a little guilty about them. I get there on Tuesday and I suppose we'll see each other in the evening. She'll be working everyday I'm there except Friday and Saturday (she could only take one day off...odd, I know...and we only see each other once a year). My friends want to have dinner with me one of those night, then there's this thing on Saturday. I feel like I'm cutting into the time I should be spending with my best friend. Now, why should I feel guilty? I'm sinking a lot of money into this trip that I really do not have and I should be able to see all the people I want to but the guilt is really weighing on me. I suppose I need to just talk to her about it and let her know how I'm feeling. I know she's going through her own stressors and I don't want to add to them, dumping my guilt issues her way.

I did ask her to stay in the same hotel with me, so that I could monopolize and maximize the time I have with her and she agreed. Maybe she'll be missing her husband and will want some time away. Yeah, I know. I'll talk to her.

In other news, my friend from high school sent me an email that she's getting divorced. I feel bad about her situation, but she seems in good spirits. She had her first child last year. I hope this divorce isn't rushed.

Changing My Thinking

It's very frustrating to step on the scale and see no change. I've been very careful about what I've been eating. More than anything, it's been a course of action to shrink my stomach and it is working. I mean, think about it; people who over-eat stretch their stomachs out to sometimes gargantuan proportions. I have not done this, but it has stretched enough to accommodate one or two too many burritos and hamburgers. With work, you can force your stomach back to it's normal size. It's not normal yet but I'm sure that it's getting there (I can tell when I eat that I can't eat as much). So, what I want to know is this; why is it easier for me to subsist on only a thousand or so calories a day but getting up to do my aerobics is nearly impossible?

I'm at the 1200 calorie mark and a bit above, which means my body isn't in starvation mode; however, I am not the workout machine I once was. Not because I don't want to be, but because time and distractions seem to be a huge problem for me as of late. I could blame it on Indy, who is twenty-months old now and into everything! If I'm gone for longer than a standard Elmo movie, all hell breaks loose. The kids have been watching t.v. in our room, since we sold the big screen but there is one downstairs. Why not just set your kids up down there? Then, you're only one door away and you can still walk on the treadmill. Good point.

I could blame it on the babe. Homework seems to take nearly an hour and a half to complete each day (I don't remember this in second grade. What are teachers doing nowadays?). On Mondays, we have to do it in the afternoon, but every other day is a morning session for homework. That way, I've got her full and focused attention. She's so much better at staying with it in the mornings. So, if you have to do homework in the afternoons on Monday, why not do a morning workout on Mondays and afternoon workouts every other day. Good point.

I could blame it on my hubby who works crazy hours but when he doesn't, chooses his free time to work out. Then, I have to get dinner ready, bath the kids and then get them ready for story time and bed. Some nights, all the Babe wants is Ramen Noodles and Indy could live on pretzels and lunch meat for the rest of her life. Call that dinner some nights and do your workout. Or, cook enough one night to have enough leftovers for a day or two later. Good point.

I've got to change my thinking! Here it is all italicized and pretty, now I just gotta do it.

Finally, blonde Pictures

The lighting quality isn't so great, but you get the idea. This is the front part, just out of the shower. It was taken about two or three days after I colored it the first time.

Here's the back and a better look at some of the highlights and curlies I have. Again, my hair is wet in these pictures, so it's much wavier this way then when dry. I have colored it once more, since these pictures. Normally, you would only color the roots but, since I have to "lift" my hair to take out the color, I just end up doing my entire head. The lift removes all pigmentation, then I add the color. It's a very drying process. I usually don't wash it for a couple of days. This way, the natural oils have come back and restored the elasticity to my hair.

It's grown a lot and the pick is making my mini fro look more like a regular fro. By Christmas, I may have a decent helmet to sport. By this time next year, I could be ready for twists and such. It's been such an adventure and my hair is loving me for it. I have growth in places I never knew I was missing hair from. All those years of retouches and too tight braids gave me bald spots. Who knew! It's all back now and thick, thick, thick!

(Oh, and if you've been reading the Enchantress site, my shoes came today and they are hot! I can't wait to meet that goal, so I can sport them. Seriously...hot!)

More Eventful Than Previously Stated

You know, in thinking about the weekend, it was much more eventful than I indicated in my last post. Aside from the blow-up hubby and I endured, we really had some major happenings occur. For instance, my computer decided that it would reboot over and over again in a cycle and never actually start up (the desktop). So, I got on my laptop to try and troubleshoot the issues. Of course, it wasn't a simple solution but a scary one that involves me begging and pleading with my computer friends to teach me how to back up my files before the drive crashes completely. Long story short? We bought another computer, yesterday. Now, I've got to figure out how to install the wireless modem on the new one, without involving technical support hosted by our friends across the pond; I don' t have a problem with who's hosting, just the language barrier issues...especially when it comes to setting up your livelihood.

Hubby is all about the finishing up of the basement in a hurry, now that our 52" television is now gone (sold for a nice profit). Indy is all about Elmo right now and watching it in our room is just not the same. She doesn't even have to say it (which she can't) but, we can tell. We're looking for a flat, LCD because plasmas aren't in the picture for us, at least not for another ten years or so. Those things are trouble from the jump and I need a t.v. that's gonna last.

So, today is another one of those days where the random friend comes over and helps move us a little closer to the ultimate goal. I keep thinking it will be winter before this happens because it just seems like there's always something to stall the progress, just when we think we're making headway. (Another set back, Buying the new computer has probably set us back on getting patio furniture this year. Bummer.) Will I ever walk on my treadmill/elliptical trainer again?

Hubby and I got it all figured out from yesterday's blow-up. He claims that he didn't bring work stress home and, in the past, he has been really good at not doing this. I can't say the same; however, I think he brought at least a smidgen of it home with him. I can't imagine where that came from, but oh well.

So,You had a Bad Day?

It's Labor Day, boys and girls and my day was uneventful until about ten minutes ago. My daughter has a school project (or, you could say "I" have a school project and she's just throwing in some extras here and there) and we were working on it when dad came home. We'd been at it about an hour when he showed up, ate some cereal then got in the shower. He asked me several times if I wanted to go with him to the store (we're pricing out flat screens) and I told him I did, once the project was finished.

He finished with his shower then waited for me to finish with the project (or so he says...it seems he didn't start screaming for me until he was done dressing).

"Why can't you finish this when we get back?"

"Because I want it done so I don't have to think about it anymore. Why don't you just go without me."

"Well, I wish I had known this before. I've been waiting for you and I've got stuff to do downstairs when I get back. You know _____ is coming tomorrow to help me."

"I told you, you can just go without me. I had to get this finished because, I know you wouldn't help with something like this and we still have to read for 20 minutes tonight."

"You can't find twenty minutes before she goes to bed tonight...and I got all this stuff to do."

"Well just tell me what it is and I'll do it!"

"You can't do it! It's stuff you just can't do!"

On and on this went until he stormed out. I opened the door to the garage to ask him, "So, you're just going to leave without taking her?"

"She doesn't want to go...do you want to go (speaking to the babe)?"

"She needs to go with you. She's been stuck at home most of the day."

"I don't think she wants to go. She said she didn't want to go!"

"Fine! Then, just leave her here!"

I know where this is coming from. He had a day from hell at work and now everything is pissing him off. I say, "Just get the hell out of my house and do some therapy shopping until you cool off." At least, that's what I'd like to say.

September is the month of change. I hope he changes his attitude or he won't make it through the month of September!