An Outpouring of Love

Yesterday, I got the last (or at least I think it's the last) of my baby shower gifts. Donations were coming in from all over the country for a gift card and our exec. admin presented it to me, just before I went home last night. Amazing! Men and women, all showing how much they appreciate me. I felt like crying (yeah, so what else is new). The amount came in at $155...this on top of the other 5 or 6 gift cards that came in the mail for $10 or $20. Hubby was very pleased and said we'd go ahead and pick up the crib mattress, when he gets back. I'm thinking it could be the mattress and the shelf. As of right now, there's a room full of baby clothes with no where to put them. Of course, there's also a crib with no mattress. Both will need to be purchased, regardless.

Last night when I talked to hubby, the first thing he said after hello was, "I miss you." Oh, those words meant so much! Of course, absence makes the heart grow fonder. I just hope he remembers how much he misses me (us) when he gets back. It's different when you're a state away, but then (from my perspective) not so different when you work the kind of hours he works. We talked more and he really struggled to get off the phone with me. I could tell he was tired and nearly asleep, but he kept telling me he wanted to talk. He told me about all the tests he's taken and how the day was so draining, but how he was looking forward to coming home. His passion for this "mission" has diminished a lot and his voice told me more than his words. I think he feels our relationship will shift again if he has to go and he's right. You can't live without your spouse for four months without some sort of shift. It's inevitable. The change could be positive or negative and there lies the fear.

For me, it's the idea that he will find happiness in his solitude and decide that independence is more for him than married life. For him, he believes someone will "snatch me up," which I think is utterly ridiculous, but it is a valid fear for him. Ugh! Why can't you get a road map for life? All these twists and turns we're taking...I hope we're actually getting somewhere.

Aside from my heart-to-heart with hubby, I watched the Billboard awards last night. What a cat raggedy mess that was! I can't believe how boring! In fact, at the end of the show when the cameras went around to those who had attended, they literally had a, "Is that it?" look on their faces. And not just one or two people, but everybody that appeared in the camera pan. My coworker and I talked about the crappiness of the show and we agreed on one very crucial point: Mariah Carey is a skank and way too old to be as skanky as she is. Geesh! She could barely walk in her dress. In fact, she looked like a sausage stuffed into sequence. WTH was she thinking? If you have obvious talent, is it really necessary to parade around naked? I guess I just wouldn't fit well into the "Biz" world. The picture I've linked to isn't as bad as how she looked shuffling onto the MGM stage, last night.

We've had some really freaky weather as of late here. It snowed like crazy last night, but it was 11 degrees outside. Normally, you can't get any sort of moisture with a temperature like that, but we got dumped. Some areas got over 100 inches! I had about 4 fresh inches in my yard, when I finally got home (which was two hours from the time I left work). Everyone was driving 20mph or less on the highway. What a nightmare! Thankfully, the sun came out today but the temps are still really cold. We're 30 degrees below our norm. I hope we can last through this crazy winter (oh wait, it isn't winter yet, is it? Yikes!).