A Nice Retreat and Busy Weekend

The retreat turned out okay, better than I anticipated, actually. I did get my oil changed, shelling out $60 big ones. What the hell! I guess every kind of oil has to be jacked up all to hell. Hydrogen cars where are you?!

Anyway, after the oil change, I went to the movies and saw Skeleton Key. I was the only living soul in the theater...a little weird at first, but I settled in and forgot about my solitude soon after the movie began. It was really, really good. I appreciate a well told suspensful, horror tale. It's been a while since one has been out. I paid attention because those who I know who have seen it, all said there was a twist at the end and I wanted to get it. I got it, but still mulled the story over in my head afterwards (another sign of a well told story). It takes place in New Orleans and I couldn't help but think, "Wow. This was probably the last film made before hurricane Katrina hit." The cinematography is beautiful and I think it really captures the essence of the city and the bayou. It truly made the film that much more erie.

Many people haven't heard much about it, simply because of this. Our entertainment standards, unfortunately, have lowered to just mindless guff. It's too bad. I appreciate a movie that gives me credit for being intelligent.

After the movie, I went to Barnes and Noble and picked up a baby names book and a fairy tale book to start reading to my daughter at bedtime (something without pictures, so that she can get used to enjoying the story and images in her mind). After that, I stopped in the mall and picked up her shoes that I ordered through Payless (I love that you can have them shipped to the store for free!) then picked up dinner at the food court. I got home and the family was enjoying a leisurely dinner, while watching Racing Stripes. The babe was exhausted, since her dad had taken her swimming, earlier that afternoon. She looked as if she might fall over into her food, poor baby. It was that evening that we decided on the baby's first name (we're still working on her middle name).

The weekend was spent cleaning out my daughter's playroom. It is set-off from the breakfast/dining room and the back, pseudo French doors. This will now be the baby's nursery and the big sister's stuff will go downstairs in one of the spare bedrooms. We also spent a huge amount of time cleaning that out. My furniture from my childhood was in there and my hubby will be giving it to his friend (who, by the way, has a tribe for a family). I'm glad their getting my stuff because I know they'll totally appreciate it and take care it. I hope they find time to restore it because it's really beautiful, antique furniture.

Here's something I'm sure a lot of people don't know about pregnant women; our sex-drives are totally out of control! Well, I shouldn't say all pregnant women are like this. During my first pregnancy (especially towards the end), I didn't want my husband anywhere near me. This time around, I can't enough! There are problems, though. Well, the obvious is my changing shape. I like being on the top and bottom, but being on the bottom is getting more and more difficult. Sixty-nine was a perfect solution, now that's proving to be difficult (okay, I know. Too much information. LOL) It's getting more and more difficult, but the drive is still there! It's going to be so frustrating in a couple of months when I really won't be able to do anything!

Emotional issues my hubby and I are going through are another hindrance. Some days, I feel the complete trust returning...other days, I'm doubting myself and saying things like, "You trusted before, and look at what happened." I guess that's to be expected as we try to work through things. He's preparing to test for another Sheriff's department in another state and that's got my mind reeling (he'll be gone for three days and I know the paranoia is going to make me nuts). Granted, the department doesn't give them a lot of free time, but you can do so much damage in just a few minutes.

And just this morning, he calls and says the former department where he worked and where we used to live in Nashville, has increased their pay scale to what he makes here. Dammit! I don't want to go back to Nashville. Just thinking about it made me so depressed. My best friend in the world is there and I would love that, but that's it! The education is nothing like it is here, and that's a huge factor now that I have a school-aged child. She would have to go to private school.
Also, there's a couple of other factors that worry me (which I will have to communicate to him if this idea persists); ex-girlfriends. One in particular. I think that in too close of contact with her (although, he says he's made his choice and she would never be a consideration, even if we broke up), I still wonder. Is this just my paranoia? I don't know, I mean, it's not like there aren't scads of women trying to hit on my husband now.

The last factor? Well, I want to convey this without sounding arrogant or egotistical and I think the best way to do that is start by saying; nobody is interested in me here. These past few months that I have been pregnant have been the only time other men have hit on me, since living in Utah...the only time (and the fact that they're hitting on a pregnant woman just doesn't seem right, does it?). Back home (in Nashville), I had to work really hard to avoid temptation because I was always getting hit on. Not to say that the men hitting on me were always terrific, but man...sometimes.... It's interesting because I know the type of person I am. I'm completely devoted and believe in my monogamous relationship. I know temptation is out there and I'm okay fighting it off. I just think about the things my husband has been saying lately about how "worn down" and "tired" he is. I think my fighting people off wouldn't be enough if he couldn't. It's just such a mess! Damn, if this had been the "real deal" infidelity, I'm not sure I could go through this. It's just that this is so much work!

Little things: the freaking humidity and heat during the summer...ugh!, the backwardness of the people in general, the overt racism, the closemindedness, the inability to accept people who are not "true" southerners, outsiders, or people who just choose to be different and not conform, ice storms (although beautiful, they're terribly scary), tornadoes, low activity in people (Nashvillians spend a lot of time eating and not much else, unfortunately). I know that I probably sound jaded but, I saw all these things and it made me want to run for the hills! Granted, Utah isn't perfect, but I'm much, much happier here. I know that I've always belonged out west and now my daughters will be westerners. This is wonderful to me.