Don't Cry, Baby

I had an entire post yesterday that was somehow lost. I really hate when that happens! I mean, it's not like I can setup an automatic save every few minutes (which would be a nice enhancement, Blogger). It was sheer poetry! Okay, maybe not poetry, but I got a lot of history and stuff out.

Basically, I documented the babe's first day riding the van to school and doing the daycare thing on Tuesday. She was totally overwhelmed, and when her dad picked her up, she started to cry. When they got home, I managed to get her talking about the day. I learned that there were lots of big kids (my guess is that most of the kindergarten group gets picked up by 12:45, while she goes home with the 3:00 bunch, who are all older than her). She was intimidated and scared by their loudness and consistent talking. We told her that each day would get better and my mother even said, "Give her a few days and she'll be bossing them around too."

Yesterday and today, she talked about the kid with the earrings and how he takes things from people and doesn't listen. He must be a real bully because she gets so upset talking about him. I swear, if that kid touches my baby he's in for it. Besides, he sure doesn't want to have to tango with her dad, the big, scary cop.

This morning, she was talking about him again and I told her that if he did anything, specifically to her, she needed to tell the teacher or the adult in charge right away. I told her to use her words and make sure people knew what was happening. Nobody should have to suffer at the hands of a bully. Thank goodness my daughter is stronger than she appears or I'd really be having a panic attack.

Today is my day. When hubby had his retreat (See Idaho Retreat post), he was gone for two days with limited contact. He discussed this excursion with his counselor last Wednesday. She told him that he was really smart to do this, but that his spouse should take some time to separate from the family for a bit and think about things too. Now, he's a big guy who can take care of himself and, not to say that I can't but, being in the family-way limits me. I told him that staying overnight somewhere by myself would not work while I'm pregnant; however, I would meet him halfway and take the afternoon and evening to do things for myself. I've decided to get my oil changed (oh, big fun), get a pedicure (cause my dogs are starting to look ass-raggedy again), and take in a movie. That should fill the evening, I think. It's always so weird when I do things for myself because, in some ways, I don't feel that I deserve them.

My hubby is my best friend (aside from my girlfriend in Nashville) and you totally want to do all the fun stuff with your best friend, right? So, when I'm doing something fun, I sometimes feel guilty if he's not around because I want him to be a part of my fun. He says he feels this way too, which is why it was so hard to go away and keep the communication limited (as I said in my retreat post, he broke down at around 3:00am and called because he was missing us so much). I can't turn my phone off and break communication because anything could happen, but I can't have us calling each other every five minutes while I'm away. I'm thinking I'll leave my phone off and turn it on when it's time for him to pick up our daughter (to make sure she's okay and stuff).

Wish me luck. I'm still so uncertain about this whole scenario. I want to have the time to think, but I know I'll miss him (even if it is for a few hours). Don't get me wrong, I'm extremely independent and can/could take care of myself and my children if I had to. The thing is, I don't want to and I don't have to. Is that codependency? I don't know. Perhaps that's one of the side effects of love.