My Little Girl is Growing Up!

Things are going well with the eating and workout plan. I'm feeling so much better and have a few pounds lost to show for it. I don't know how many inches are gone, but I'm starting to see a difference (which is always good). I may meet my first goal yet!

As I was playing on my Sims 3 game yesterday, the eldest walks in and says, "Mom, I think I started my period." Well, I've heard this before and in the past, it's just been "mistaken identity". This time, she was correct. I thought about my first time and realized that it coincides with hers! It was the summer vacation just before seventh grade when "Aunt Flo" made her appearance for the first time for me too.

My plan was to give her "The Talk" after her birthday, but I believe I'll have to push that up a bit sooner. Dad is on stand-by to take Indy, while I have this very frank discussion with the eldest. My girlfriend said, "How are you going to have this conversation?" I told her I was just going to come out with it, no use beating around the bush. (Bad pun.Sorry.) I'll then talk with her about the other things like, how a young man should treat a young woman, respecting herself and her body and, finally, not giving in to every little temptation. I also want her to know that she's okay to ask questions and get straight answers from me (friends can sometimes have the totally wrong impression).

This is a hard age and no one could pay me enough to go back through it again. I hope that she knows she has parents ready to listen and support from multiple places to help steer her through. My little girl isn't a little girl anymore. What a milestone!

Daughter Journaling - Days 5 and 6

Still seeing pretty much the same kind of behaviors (not much new to tell). We have determined that we're very aware of when the medication wears off, especially hubby. The emotions are raw and intense (even the happy ones). Hubby's comment, "Is there a med that last 18 hours instead of twelve?" Oh, goodness.

On a side note, I may be in the job market again this summer. If things don't improve at my job very soon, I may have to say goodbye to my company of 11 years. It's been a good run but I'm getting to old to deal with the stress they're laying on us. There's really no reason for it, except folks are just trying to save a dollar and not hire more help.

Daughter Journaling - Day 4

I started the day by preparing breakfast for my kids (sausage, eggs and cinnamon bagel halves with margarine). She took her pill directly after that. Then, I shampooed, conditioned, de-tangled and plaited Zee's hair. I then spent the next hour and one half tree braiding (crochet braiding) extensions in, using loose hair. She loves it! She can't keep her hands out of it, even though I tell her it will just make it look raggedy faster.

After her hair was finished, we cleaned house. She was very helpful (but she usually is) and I got no argument from her (more unusual). Then, we went to lunch with dad. After lunch, it was off to the store and not one outburst the entire time we were there (or odd remark or behavior). A nice change, indeed! We then came home and both girls laid down for naps.

When they awakened, we went to the grocery store. Nice! No issues at all, not even arguing with her sister. I was so pleased. I really hope it wasn't a fluke.

When we cam home, I made my mother's rotel dip and then went to a friend's house to see the MMA fight. It was a lot of fun. I couldn't eat much but, I did enjoy myself. Zaura was picture perfect. Then, my friend broke out the Wii dance games. All was fine and dandy, until around 9:30 or 10:00pm. That was about when Zee became really rambunctious and loud. The first thing I thought: "The medicine has worn off." It probably had, but she was probably tired too.

A few more games on the Wii, then we came home. She was, sadly, in the midst of an asthma attack. I determined that my friend's burning home candle set it off. Whenever we burn a candle these days, which is rare, we only burn it for an hour or so. My girlfriend's candle burned the entire time we were there and there's no way to know when she first lit it. Knowing what we know now, we stick to the Bath and Body Works "WallFlowers" line. No smoke or fumes to inhale and irritate her lungs.

So, my recap for the day is that Zee did very well. Tomorrow is a church day and we normally keep things fairly mellow. I don't suspect I'll notice much. We'll see.

Daughter Journaling - Day 3

Hubby and I met with Zee's teachers today. The meeting was very positive and her teachers (even before knowing about the meds) indicated that she was improving. A math score 20 points higher than she's received all year, a reading test with significant improvements. These are very good signs indeed!

Her homeroom teacher told us that Zee announced she was on the meds the other day. Mrs. S. is on the lookout to see improvements and give us feedback. I'll, of course, post anything she has to say here. She also clued me into things going on with the curriculum this week (beginning algebra concepts and Zee's Zimbabwe paper needing a cultural segment).

As for today's observations by my daughter, she alerted me that she was able to sit and be occupied for a long time during the science fair, yesterday. She received a small award for doing so today. Terrific! She let us know that, she wasn't very hungry at lunch; however, after a bit of probing, she told us that the menu consisted of a hard chicken patty, celery with dip and cake for dessert. I think it was more likely she didn't want to eat the choices presented. Who would?!

We'll be able to observe her tomorrow and Sunday for the entire twelve hour block. I'll be doing her hair (crochet braids using Toyokalon rather than pre-braided hair; my first attempt) and the process can take a while. She's pretty good with me, now that she's older, but I'm curious to see if the meds change things. We also have church on Sunday, usually followed by family activities. I hope I'm not viewing her as a guinea pig too much, but the good things that can come out of this have me so psyched! Until tomorrow...

A Little Journaling for My Daughter (Days 1 and 2)

A couple of months ago, my hubby and I were asked to meet with my eldest daughter's teachers. We did and discovered that daughter-dear is having some issues. Basically, she's struggling a bit with some of her subjects (we were already aware of this and were looking for ways to help her). She does well to a point, and then becomes very disorganized, distracted and forgetful. We dual assessed and her medical doctor determined that she is borderline ADD.

Before medicating, we talked with her about and have been strategizing with her teachers on ways to help her in the classroom. As for home, hubby and I are much more specific with our instructions and we take our time with explanations. We wanted to give everything the "old college try" before attempting more extreme measures.

The teachers are doing their part and are working with her closely. I also provided her with a digital recorder, so that she can bring her lessons home. Through all of this working with her, I've determined that she's an audio learner.

Last weekend, we went to the grocery store and my eldest really showed her true colors. It was all we could do to keep her maintained and we could see how hard it was for her to do calm down and handle what we were trying to tell her. I talked with hubby, did a bit more research and we decided to try the medication. The doctor has instructed us to watch her for 7 days (including the weekend for this week only) to see how she reacts. We were optimistic about what it could do for her and, knowing that it only stays in the system 12 hours, are hopeful the side effects, if any, aren't too much for her.

DAY 1: 1/25 (ironically, my birthday)

I gave Zee her first pill after a very hearty breakfast. When I picked her up from school, she commented on how in-tune she was to things. A friend's earring brushing against her jacket (Zee could hear it). She also commented on the striations in the pant on a door. The big eye opener was when she bumped a child in the highway, apologized then asked the girl who's class she was in. The child is in her class and has been since the beginning of the year. (Really?!)

When she came home, she proceeded to organize the entire kitchen (the pantries and the pot shelves). It was amazing! I noticed that she wasn't all over the place and was able to follow all of my instructions without forgetting everything five minutes later. I was hopeful this was all a good sign.

Hubby is incredibly intrigued, since Zee probably inherited the condition from himself. He has said that, depending on how she does, he may look into medicinal treatment. I reminded him that the drugs are often amphetamines and he would have to give up natural bodybuilding shows.

"If these help me to focus and stabilize, who cares about the shows." His words.

Day 2: 1/26

In the morning, she commented that she didn't fall asleep until twelve. Not sure if she was really wired or just excited about the prospects of what the medication is doing. With the little sleep she received, she was still up fairly early and didn't appear fatigued. She took her pill after breakfast and headed to school.

When I picked her up, she wasn't like she was yesterday, but she did appear to be fairly calm. She came home, she walked the dogs, got her snack together, played a violin song for me, then went to watch t.v with her sister. After work, I found her playing a game on her Blackberry Playbook. I asked her to do the dishes. She seemed very intent on her game. A few minutes later, I returned and asked her to do them again. Still, very into her game. I asked a third time and she went to accomplish the task. Not really sure of what to make of this, since I didn't specifically ask her to do them right then; however, after my second return to her room, it probably should have been obvious I was ready to have them cleaned.

Was the focus on the game part of the concentration? Maybe. She's not much of a gamer. She does have long periods of focus, if she's interested (drawing, dancing, listening to music). I'm also not sure if she's really just tired from lack of sleep last night. I suspect she'll head to bed with no problem anyway. Tonight was a dance night (hip-hop).

Day three tomorrow will consist of a follow-up meeting with the teachers. The nurse said the teachers probably won't see a difference until the entire seven days have passed. Her reasoning? With so many children in the class, it may not be so apparent at first. Zee happens to have nearly 45 in her room. We'll be lucky if her teacher notices in a month! I am curious, however, to see if they've noticed even a slight difference. Zee will also go to her counselor more regularly, too. She has an appointment next Friday. I want all of our bases covered. Anything we can do to help her succeed and not lose her self-esteem, will be beneficial in my book. Until tomorrow...

A Very Happy Mother's Day

I had a wonderful day today. I woke with a spring in my step and a sparkle in my eye. The girls were good (not one moment of bickering all day) and everyone spoiled me. First, we went to church and our pastor delivered a wonderful sermon to the"off-spring" rather than mothers. Several mother's were paid a tribute of beautiful, white roses -mother over 80, mother with the most children, mother with most generations present [my mother received that one] and the mother with the youngest child.

The girls came home and watched a movie, while mom paid tribute to dad by uploading the videos she took of his competition on YouTube and Facebook (I'm very proud). When hubby came home from work, we went to the Mongolian Grill for dinner. It was divine and I actually maintained my self control. There were big bowls of cabbage, cucumbers, celery and green onions with minimal meat, since I couldn't weigh at the restaurant. This was the only meal I had today (I didn't want to tempt fate).

After dinner, we went shopping for shoes. My favorite sassy sandals tore up, the other day, so I've been on the look-out for a replacement pair. Haven't found any I really like (What's up, DSW?!), until this evening. Hubby spotted those and new sneakers for me at the Ross Dress for less. I have a feeling my knee will be feeling a lot better, now that I have better support.

This evening, hubby and I spent some time "dreaming" and "visualizing" about some of the places we would like to vacation to. The Bahamas, St. Croix, Hawaii, Cancun, Montego Bay were all part of our wish list, as we perused various all-inclusive sites. We have this wish to go somewhere together, without the children. This may sound harsh but, we never had a real honeymoon. We're certainly over due. Besides, the kids travel with us everywhere else. I know I wasn't fortunate enough to go with my parents on a cruise for a vacation. They've got it pretty good.

Holding Off from Shortening Your Child's Life

I'll keep it short and sweet. My daughter pushed both my hubby and I to the limits tonight. I'm going to try and be positive before I go to bed. I don't want to go to sleep stressed-out. I'm drinking my vodka and sprite now...

On with the Show

Hubby left this morning to participate in his second body-building show of the season. He's going to Idaho and I'm very excited for him. He's been in such great shape this season and his new regime has really done wonders for his overall appearance. Interestingly enough, he's getting more criticism about whether he truly is natural or not. I think it's quite the compliment! He's actually showing that you can have nice muscle mass without the need for steroids. Rather than criticising, they should take the hint.

The weekend will be somewhat lonely without him but I'll have plenty to keep me busy. The girls and I will spend tomorrow cleaning house (sweeping, mopping, vacuuming and giving the bathrooms a good scrubbing). I'll also go back over areas of my carpet that I recently shampooed, since the dog decided to vomit in various places. Ugh! He would do it two days after I'd shampooed all the carpets and rugs in the house. Nice.

Saturday, the eldest has to take dance pictures. One of the sittings involves "casual wear" this year. Casual for my tween is a little too casual for the everyday observer, so I'm going to take her shopping for casual that doesn't make her look like a ragamuffin. Even some of the Bermuda shorts that are out now should work nicely. The thing to stress with her is lotion; some pictures have her looking oh, so lovely but ashy, ashy, ashy!

Sunday we'll go to church and then await hubby's return. He wants to go somewhere nice for dinner that night and mentioned one of the local Brazilian restaurants in town. I love them, but they don't differentiate pricing with age too much. The youngest would be free, but we'd still be looking at around $70 for dinner. That's a little too rich for my penny-pinching blood.

I'm really starting to look forward to our vacation this summer. We're going to the location pictured on the right. The eldest keeps asking things like, "How long is the drive to our vacation," and "What will we do when we get there?" Can't kids just be happy with surprises?

The youngest doesn't care, just so long as we get to stay in a hotel. That's the best thing about traveling for her; the hotel stay. When I was little, I loved staying in hotels, too. Our kids have had the opportunity to, not only stay in hotels, but resort locations. They are truly spoiled and don't know how good they've got it. My hubby tries to tell them but I'm not sure they comprehend the totality of what they have just yet.

The sad thing is that with the way the gas prices are rising, the driving will be the most expensive aspect of our trip. Will we really have gas at nearly $4.00 per gallon by summer? It makes my heart drop just to think about it. I'm trying to remain positive and look forward to the happy times (and memories) we'll create when we go. I'm also hopeful that I won't look scary in my two piece when the time finally arrives.

A Touch of Fall

It's pouring rain here, today. What happen to the 90 degree weather? For the last week or so the weather has been crazy weird. Today, it's only going to get up to 68 degrees today. I've got my space heater on. Space heater...in August?!

My job schedule has settled a bit, but it will go through drama again in October. Every month for the next few months, I'm slated to get new appointments. It makes for mania at the beginning, then things settle at the end. I hope and pray that things truly get easier for me. It's been quite the roller coaster.

Our vacation begins this week and I'm so thrilled! I hope travels are safe and things go smoothly (no scary surprises or weirdness). Seems like we always have something arise that catches us off guard. I'll say this, if something does arise, I hope we're able to handle it with stride. I don't want to be stressing out over the next two weeks. That is not a vacation.

Hubby has decided to only do the one remaining shows, rather than the two that are coming up. He says that he does want to be around the house more, which makes me happy, but I have heard this. Something always seems to come up (whether it's work or more clients). I'm trying to stay positive.

My eldest started school last week. So far, she likes her teacher but she keeps hearing things about her from other kids. I keep telling her that she has to make her own decisions about her (although I know how hard that is for a kid; outside pressure is no joke in school). My youngest starts preschool next week, but we'll be on vacation. I hope we'll get to meet her teacher this week so that the Indy isn't shocked into a new situation without some preparation. The teacher is supposed to call me and set up a time. I hope she doesn't forget (but I'll call her if I don't hear anything).

I've put on a few pounds that I'm trying to relieve myself of before we leave Friday. It's going to be hard, but I think I can do it. After we return, I'm back on the plan to really get to my goal weight (I was so close the last time). Crossing my fingers and my toes that I do!

Comfort-Level

There is a certain comfort-level that we have with various people in our lives. Some people we keep at arms length with the attitude of, "That's close enough," in our minds, every time we see them. Other people we may feel compelled to hug even when we saw them just moments before. Then, there are those who provide us a service; pedicurists, hair dressers, dentists etc... who are paid (sometimes quite well) to have close, physical contact with us all the time. Many of these people touch us more than our own family (which is an entirely separate post).

Yesterday, my daughters and I drove nearly forty miles into the city to say good-bye to their pediatrician. This man is simply remarkable and I would have driven 300 miles to tell him so. When I was pregnant with my eldest, I was working for a child advocacy organization in their media department. As I was compiling media clips, I came across an article about a man who was being honored as the humanitarian of the year for the state. This man was a pediatrician who had devoted countless hours to the health and preservation of children, not just under his care, but everywhere. I took a risk and called his office to see if he was taking any new patients. To my delight, he was.

I told the receptionist that I was due to have my first child in a month or two and that I was on the hunt for a new pediatrician. It seems he would want an appointment with me, even before the baby arrived. How novel! I made an appointment then went to seem him a couple of weeks later.

Right away I like him. He was friendly, personable, caring and an active listener. He had also adopted children of different nationalities, so he had a broad sense of caring that other doctors here seemed to lack. He was a wealth of information and I felt very confident in my choice after meeting with him. Very shortly after my eldest was born, we began our well-baby visits with him and have continued with the same doctor ever since. When he discovered I was pregnant again in 2005 (I already knew he wasn't taking any more patients and was thinking about retirement, so I didn't even ask), he asked me, "So, will I be taking care of this one, too?" (pointing to my belly). Hell yeah! I was thrilled!

More than once, he has saved my daughter's life and I will forever be grateful to him. Even now, I'm tearing up just thinking about how dutiful he was, when she entered the hospital at four months old. A couple of years ago, he told me about how his wife was ailing (cancer) and just a few months ago, she was in the hospital and he was visiting her everyday (sometimes between patient visits). During our last visit, my daughter saw an obituary pinned to a cork-board in the office, "Hey, mom. That says Dr. T's wife died." After being shown to our room, we waited for his arrival. I asked him about his wife, as I always did during our visits, she'd passed away and that day was his first day back in the office. We stood there hugging for I don't know how long. I held back my tears as he became a bit emotional. My heart broke for him that day.

Selfishly, I considered the possibility that he might delay his retirement. I wondered if he would reconsider since having the kids to care for may be good recovery. We received the "retirement party" card in the mail last week. Well, at least I know he'll get the rest and time off he truly deserves.

My eldest jumped into his arms last night (no exaggeration). He lifted all 70 pounds of her off the ground. I wanted to cry so bad, but I held back. I hugged him and whispered in his ear how much we'll all miss him. I really, really will. The floodgate has opened now so , I'd better stop typing.

Father's Day and Summer Solstice

Ah...the summer solstice. It's official! The kids are out of school, they're running around the neighborhoods and the ice cream is on flow. To be a kid again! They seem to be having the time of their lives (someone should tell them that they are).

My eldest is participating in drama camp this week. She been so excited to start and, even last night, she's still felt the jitters. This morning she asked me to run lines with her (but, she hadn't really read through the play properly in order to do this). She spent about forty-five minutes doing so then tested her lines on me. So passionate! Maybe there's an actress in the making... a triple-threat, even!

The youngest is still going to preschool two days per week. She begins swim lessons next Saturday and tells anyone who will listen to her. She loves and fears the water equally, so I hope this year's batch of lessons will get her past her fear. My sister keeps taking her to the pool and will bring her into the water so aggressively that I wonder about her success in her classes.

We took my hubby to Father's day dinner on Sunday but before that, he got to open presents. It should be a joyous thing to open gifts but he always acts as if he doesn't deserve them and shouldn't be allowed to open them. I know this comes from his upbringing but it still makes me sad. I want him to know how much we appreciate him and love him. I tell him and shower him with gifts (when I can), but he still seems so ambiguous about them. Oh well, I won't stop trying.

My sister emailed me this morning with the news that she's lost a total of 41lbs. GC mentioned losing a pound and I celebrate successes like these (no matter how big or small). It's so easy to put on weight but it takes major work to get it off. I'm still "working" towards my goal and, despite the stumbling blocks, I know that I'll see my reward. I hope we all do. :)

Summer and Recitals

The first recital was last night and my eldest performed. Awesome job! Truly! I've watched this dance all spring and I think last night's performance was the best yet. I wasn't thrilled about the makeup job I did, but who cares. It's all about the talent (she did love her falsies, though...batted her eyes to anyone who would look at her).

Tonight is the last night and both of my girls will be on stage. The youngest is currently taking a nap. She needs her stamina for the long night (and boy was it ever long last night). We got to the high school at around 5:15 because that is what the instructors requested of all the dancers. The show didn't start until 6:30pm. My daughter's routine? Number 37 out of forty-two. Sweet! We didn't get home till close to nine. My youngest nearly passed out eating her dinner, so I just put her to bed. Hopefully, with the good nap, it won't be as hard on either of them.

They have been extraordinarily good with each other during the break, so far. I'm surprised but won't look a gift horse in the mouth. Can't say how long it will last, but I am happy that the eldest is trying to show a bit of responsibility. I want that to just blossom this summer and I'm praying she'll be a more mature child by the time fifth grade starts. I need that to alleviate a lot of my stress.

Hubby and I are having a Saturday night away from the kids. We're so excited! I hope we can find something fun to do. I'm still on the strict part of my diet so, we were up one night looking at restaurants that offer items that I may be able to eat. I'll be so glad when this phase is over so that I can incorporate more goodies again. Broccoli sounds good at this point; however, my diminishing figure is great too.

New Job and Long Training Hours

I'm still here, but my new position has some crazy long training hours (well, crazy long for me). I am on information overload and I keep wondering if everything will come together. I hope so, I don't want to steer anyone in the wrong direction. That has been the hard part for me; I just don't know very much and the comfort of knowing exactly what to do has evaporated.

Hubby had his last competition of the spring, this weekend. He won! He is now an NGA pro-card holder which, in lay-men's terms; he is now a professional bodybuilder. Sweet! I was so proud of him and it was a very good show. We mixed his music, using the music from my daughter's competitions this year. She was so overwhelmed she cried back stage for him. Too precious. He's on cloud nine, as you can imagine and I'm floating right alongside him.

I'm going back on my diet tomorrow. It's weird to think that I'll be doing this again. I'm raring to go, but a bit nervous. People try a second time usually have troubles. I'm just hoping that I can prove that I'm above type and really accomplish great releases. I'm certainly not off to a good start, however. The whole family has been celebrating hubby's success this weekend with food...bad foods.

Next week is the last week of school and, along with being official in my new job, both girls will be home. Yikes! I've got to start planning what to do with them. She can't just sit around eating all summer. I think I'll pretty much force her to enjoy her summer outdoors being creative. Too bad there aren't the kind of camps here that I had as a child. Aside from one week of drama camp and one week of dance camp, that's all she'll get.

Finally, I've been reconsidering the whole "try the figure competition" idea. I dunno if I have "the stuff" hubby's got but it would definitely make me stand out, here. There are no black figure competitors in this state (well, that I've seen). Where are they? I've seen several fit black women around. Perhaps they're just not aware such a thing exists. If I decide that I'll try, there's a lot of investment involved (physically and financially). I think I'll keep considering and see if things fall into place.

February Still Flying like a Jet-Plane

I had the rug pulled out from under me, last week. I hope to go into more details in a couple of weeks about the entire situation; however, I will say that it will change everything about my work-life. The only consistency in life is change, right? All I can do is pray and put it into God's hands...otherwise, I'll loose my mind with stress and anxiety.

Aside from work, hubby and I had a lovely Valentine's weekend. We spent Friday as a family and bowled, bowled, bowled. Indy was tired even before the first game finished. Lesson learned- only one game if we're going as a family.

My sister kept my kids over night from Saturday into Sunday. Hubby and I went to see Wolf.man (wait for the red box if you must see it, although I wouldn't recommend it), then off to dinner at Lone St.ar. I had the sweet bourbon grilled Salmon (yum) and he had the steak. After which, we picked up a bottle of spirits to take back to our hotel room, along with a cheesecake from the bakery (double-yum). Next, we went by a club in the Hilton, but the vibe was a little strange. Then, we headed to another club. Me and hubby at the club. Wow. It's been years.

The crowd was twenty somethings and thirty somethings. The theme? Mardi gras. Boas, beads, face painting. It was a veritable circus with a disco ball, in there! Hubby and I danced, but people watched mostly. It was hilarious! I hope we never acted like that (something tells me we didn't). One lady walked up to me and said, "Hey, sexy," hugged me and then pounded. Huh? Who are you? I asked my hubby if it was someone he knew. He said no. Oh, man. Perhaps I looked like someone she knew? Oh, well.

Round midnight, we headed back to the hotel for drinks and cheesecake. It was a wonderful evening. We ate breakfast Sunday morning and watched Couples R.etreat at home. It was pretty cute, but I was more excited to just have time with hubby. Sis brought the girls home around 1:00pm and they were most pleased with their day, too.

It's been great having my sister watch the kids these past few weekends. Hubby thinks we're going to go into "dating" withdrawal. I think he's right.

Black History Month

The Babe is slated to speak on a "prominent" figure this upcoming Sunday. Whom did she choose? Why, Ms. Judith Jamison (fabulous dancer extraordinaire and honorary Delta...OO-oop!). The babe has been enchanted with her, ever since I suggested Ms. Jamison as a possibility (she considered Diana Ross, among others, to begin with). A bit of reading and a few you.tubes later and she was hooked! She's actually viewing her as a role-model, which I love.

We still spend a lot of our church energy on Black History month, but I don't feel it anywhere else. Oh, the occasional mention on the news or a bit of artistry on some of the web sites but that's about it. It seemed to be much more important in my younger years or perhaps more emphasis was placed on the month. It could be that it's just because of where I live now. Well, yeah. That could definitely be it.

My girls are well aware of who they are and where they came from. They are exposed to as much diversity and culture as their parents can supply, but is that enough? I came from a world that was colorless, then was thrown into the "backwards" south. The divide was palpable and I never really felt like I fit in anywhere. By college, things were better but the frustration never really went away. Moving west helped tremendously. I don't think I'll ever live in the south again, but my roots are there and that is a part of me that will never go away.

I can't protect my girls from everything. One day, there differences from the general population here will be thrown at them and I want them to be strong enough in themselves to deal with it as well as feel pride in who they are. So far, there differences have been fairly positive. It probably doesn't hurt that they're cute.

Mid-Thirties, Baby

Oh, what a terrific birthday! I had to work but, my sister picked up my eldest and came over to babysit both kids. Hubby and I took off and went to the movies. Check out Sherloc.k Holm.es if you haven't already. It was worth the watch for sure.

After the movie, we went to dinner and sat side-by-side at the restaurant(you can people watch and chat at the same time that way). I didn't gorge, but enjoyed myself. We headed over to DSW and hubby splurged on a pair of shoes for me. Woohoo! Their satin, multi-colored mules and they're divine. Next, he took me over to Ross and had me try on 5 pairs of jeans. We took two pair home; Nine West and Lee's.

We got home and found out the youngest was a little naughty and that sister dear disciplined a bit differently than I would have, but we got it all squared away. She'll be back this weekend to watch them over night. Dang! I could get used to this. Hubby and I told each other over and over again how much fun we had and how nice the evening was. He said he got a little flack from coworkers because he took a half-day vacation, but he said, "What better way to use vacation time than to spend it with my wife on her birthday?" What a guy.

Meeting with the Teacher and Age

This morning, hubby and I had to meet with the Babe's teacher. It was a good meeting and I hope the Babe was listening to all of the good advice the teacher gave her. My Babe has a busy mouth and sometimes doesn't know when to close it. She's also incredibly hard-headed, which can cause her some strife in the classroom. We talked strategies for frustration and the incessant talking she does for about half an hour this morning. It's the first time in a long time I've talked to a teacher and not felt like we (the parents) were on trial. I hope it made a difference.

My cardio pace has increased substantially. It always does the stronger and more "aerobic" I become. I'm hoping hubby still wants to purchase the new treadmill. That will change things up and allow for more weight/fat loss for sure. You don't burn nearly as many calories in the amount of time like you do with an elliptical, but you work bones and the impact is greater. This allows for bigger changes in the workout. I'm also preparing myself mentally to tackle toning and weight training again. I always feel so good when it's part of my regular routine (and I look a lot like the participants in the videos...seriously! Everything is long and tight. The results are fantastic!), it's just getting there again. The soreness, the yelling at the instructors, the initial shock of how blubbery I am. That initial process of starting is tough, tough, tough.

The air is clean again. Yeah! We are getting regular snow and rain this week, which is pushing out the nasty inversion we've had for about a month. The skyline is visible again and the mountains are white and breath taking. I just love it! It was sort of my birthday wish to God, last week. "I want rain and 40 degree weather." Guess what we got? ;)

Speaking of birthdays, my 35th approaches. Next Monday, I will officially be smack in the middle of my thirties. I've been more nostalgic with this birthday than with any of my birthdays past, making play-lists of the top 100 songs of various years to kind of usher it in. It's been fun and a little weird, too. My eldest knows some of the songs because they still play many of them on the radio. She sings along some times, other times she says, "Is that a man or woman singing?" Lots of androgynous singing in the 80's, I guess. She's lucky she didn't have to endure the visual pain of the fashion. I remember my neon-pink socks I wore with everything. Stirrup pants, psychedelic colors that matched nothing and sent folks into seizures. Yikes!

What Some Children Think About

When I was nine, I was worried about what kind of games to play at school, my upcoming dance recitals, the next birthday party to go to and when summer vacation would finally start. I can honestly say my worries weren't too heavy. As I approached ten, my thought process began to change. I started to think about the nature of my parent's marriage in a more mature way. I understood that their "partnership" really wasn't much of one. Talk began of moving out of state and leaving my beloved California scared me witless. Would I make new friends, if we moved? What would the children be like in Tennessee? Would they like me? Would I ever see my Californian friends again?

I remember the change happening, but it was subtle. There were still so many parts of me that were kid-like, but I did feel differently than I had before. I believe this very thing is beginning to happen with my oldest. She still has "child" talk, but now it's beginning to change into more serious subject matter.

This morning, for example. She told me that at school, yesterday, she caught site of her cousin coming onto school grounds, but she didn't seem very happy. She asked her what was wrong and her cousin told her that a fight had broken out the night before between herself and the neighbor kid (not sure if it was a physical fight or an argument). My sister-in-law heard the ruckus, came outside and broke it up. In the midst of resolving the conflict, she experienced some sort of pain in her head and ended up in the emergency room. Cousin told the babe that the pain/ailment was in the back of her head, but the doctor said that if it reached the front, her mother could die.

The babe, always being so sensitive, was even more so to hear of her aunt's terrible predicament. The babe asked where cousin would live, should her mother pass away (their father is currently in jail and has been for nearly two years). Cousin indicated that they would have to go back to Missouri to extended relatives (these are blood relatives). She was afraid to go back there because she didn't want to be abused.

Oh.My.God.

It took me a minute to gain my composure and think rationally. We knew of the problems the kids had experienced, before they moved here. They were very, very young (around 2 or three). They had been staying with their father's relatives (a sister, I think, and other cousins) while he "figured out his life" or some stuff. I dunno. After he and my sister got married, he made arrangements for custody to be restored and moved them here.

Obviously, those painful memories haven't left them. I rationalized with the babe and explained that her aunt has always gotten terrible migraines and that she's ended up in the emergency room lots of times as a result. She's on prescription medication and has to manage her stress a certain way, or those headaches appear and pretty much knock her down.

She told me that her aunt was out of the hospital that very day, so I told her to think positively. That her aunt will, hopefully, take better care of herself and not die. That she'll be around to take care of her cousins for a very, very long time...that all will be well and that they'll get to stay in Utah and be safe. Safety. That's what concerns these children.

I called hubby and asked if he'd heard about his sister being in the hospital. I also told him of the concerns the babe and her cousin were having. They have been through so much (I can't even get into all of it here) and had to grow up so fast, it would just be one more blow to their already fragile psyches. I'm glad they're in counseling and I hope that they are being honest and expressing everything in those sessions.

Twenty-Ten...For Real?

I'm just having the craziest time excepting the year. Wow! Have we already experienced a full decade in the 21st century? Didn't we just deal with Y2K and all the drama associated with it? Crazy! Anyway, I'm looking forward to good things this year. More hope, more love, more blessings from above.

First off, it's time to get off the holiday weight. I'm singing to the tune of 10 additional pounds over a two month period. Yikes! The work has already begun and I am paying the piper. Things well get better...remember, hope in twenty-ten.

The girls cleaned up this holiday season. Dolls, clothes, a remote-control car, an X-Box 360 Elite, tons of games and underwear. They have no complaints (and neither do I, for that matter). Indy's birthday is next Sunday and she'll rake in more goodies. Dang, to be a kid again! We'll have a family party on Friday for her, including dinner and cake. Mom is probably going to forgo the cake for a Smart Ones desert or something.

Hubby wanted to take me away for New Year's. He planned way ahead and had my mother slated to watch the girls. Who knew she and my sister would get sick and be unable to care for them. Blah! No getaway with hubby, but we still brought in the new year with peace. I couldn't have asked for more.

The week has begun and getting back into the swing of things is weird, but I'll be okay.

Our Weather is Confused - But No Complaints

We hit 75 degrees, yesterday. Remember my "first day of snow" post on the last day of September? Amazing what can happen in one month. Our weather lady said, "You can wear your shorts today." We've had this unseasonable weather for the past few days, but I'm certainly not complaining. Hubby has used the opportunity to go ahead and put the Christmas lights on the roof (um, didn't he say he wasn't going to do a lot of lights this year? Yeah, he says it every year. I just don't even pay him any attention anymore when he says it) and get them ready for the day after Thanksgiving. That's when Christmas festivities start at our house, anyway. I do know of one person who has been listening to Christmas music since August. Sigh. What's nutty is that two of our "easy listening" stations, about two years ago, decided November 1 would be the day they'd start their "All Christmas music, all the time," campagins. I refuse to listen to those stations until after Thanksgiving as well.

We also spent part of the afternoon, yesterday, putting chicken wire around the bottom of our fence where, El Stupido (Hercules, my Chihuahua) has escaped a couple of times. "Why are you running away from free room and board, you dumb dog? Don't you know that's how you ended up at the animal shelter in the first place.?" (He was two pounds lighter than he is now, making him only two pounds when we adopted him). Right now, he's looking at me with that, "Play with me, please," expression he often has. Wow. What a little con-artist.

Hubby also purchased flower bulbs (Narcissus) to plant for next year, he'll be pulling up the rest of the solar lights from spring and filling in some areas in the back yard. So ambitious! I reminded him that these are his days off and he is allowed to enjoy them and relax a little bit. He never stops, that one.

My daughter has to read the scripture for our devotional on Sunday at the "special " afternoon service. That means, no 8:00 am service this week but we'll head down at 2:30 instead. I'm such an early bird that this will seem downright unnatural to me; however, I don't want to do multiple services and I don't want my kids missing out on their naps (Ugh! They are completely unbearable when they do). The multiple service issue is my own. Growing up with a father who pastored a church, I spent many a Sunday in services all day long. I don't have a problem with service, but two, three sometimes four in one day is too much for anyone.

My niece and nephew are coming over today. They are sleeping over and watching scary movies with the babe. It's great that they get to spend time together, but I am selfish. It seems we end up with them more then ours end up at their house. I know that their mother is basically a single-mom working all the time, just to keep a roof over their heads but it would be so nice if we had the luxury of a trusting care-giver for our kids, whenever we needed one. Yes. I am very selfish. I still can't help feeling like, "When do we get that opportunity?" I wish the babe's friends' parents weren't so flaky.

Speaking of the babe, she is getting so excited about New Mo.on. Hubby and I are trying to figure out how to find a babysitter for Indy, so that we can take the Babe (yeah...all of a sudden he wants to go, too. It went from, "Oh, I'll be fine watching it on video," to "How do you think we can take the Babe to see the movie?" He cracks me up).