What Some Children Think About

When I was nine, I was worried about what kind of games to play at school, my upcoming dance recitals, the next birthday party to go to and when summer vacation would finally start. I can honestly say my worries weren't too heavy. As I approached ten, my thought process began to change. I started to think about the nature of my parent's marriage in a more mature way. I understood that their "partnership" really wasn't much of one. Talk began of moving out of state and leaving my beloved California scared me witless. Would I make new friends, if we moved? What would the children be like in Tennessee? Would they like me? Would I ever see my Californian friends again?

I remember the change happening, but it was subtle. There were still so many parts of me that were kid-like, but I did feel differently than I had before. I believe this very thing is beginning to happen with my oldest. She still has "child" talk, but now it's beginning to change into more serious subject matter.

This morning, for example. She told me that at school, yesterday, she caught site of her cousin coming onto school grounds, but she didn't seem very happy. She asked her what was wrong and her cousin told her that a fight had broken out the night before between herself and the neighbor kid (not sure if it was a physical fight or an argument). My sister-in-law heard the ruckus, came outside and broke it up. In the midst of resolving the conflict, she experienced some sort of pain in her head and ended up in the emergency room. Cousin told the babe that the pain/ailment was in the back of her head, but the doctor said that if it reached the front, her mother could die.

The babe, always being so sensitive, was even more so to hear of her aunt's terrible predicament. The babe asked where cousin would live, should her mother pass away (their father is currently in jail and has been for nearly two years). Cousin indicated that they would have to go back to Missouri to extended relatives (these are blood relatives). She was afraid to go back there because she didn't want to be abused.

Oh.My.God.

It took me a minute to gain my composure and think rationally. We knew of the problems the kids had experienced, before they moved here. They were very, very young (around 2 or three). They had been staying with their father's relatives (a sister, I think, and other cousins) while he "figured out his life" or some stuff. I dunno. After he and my sister got married, he made arrangements for custody to be restored and moved them here.

Obviously, those painful memories haven't left them. I rationalized with the babe and explained that her aunt has always gotten terrible migraines and that she's ended up in the emergency room lots of times as a result. She's on prescription medication and has to manage her stress a certain way, or those headaches appear and pretty much knock her down.

She told me that her aunt was out of the hospital that very day, so I told her to think positively. That her aunt will, hopefully, take better care of herself and not die. That she'll be around to take care of her cousins for a very, very long time...that all will be well and that they'll get to stay in Utah and be safe. Safety. That's what concerns these children.

I called hubby and asked if he'd heard about his sister being in the hospital. I also told him of the concerns the babe and her cousin were having. They have been through so much (I can't even get into all of it here) and had to grow up so fast, it would just be one more blow to their already fragile psyches. I'm glad they're in counseling and I hope that they are being honest and expressing everything in those sessions.