Two Nights Down...I Guess

Last night after the babe and I got home from dance, I noticed she was crying and I asked her what was wrong.

"I miss my daddy, " she said. I told her I missed him too and I was really serious. I also told her to take a "lovey" to bed with her, which might help her sleep (seems dad and I aren't the only ones not sleeping well). Even with the pillows that carry his cologne/scent, I still toss and turn all night. He told me last night that the first night (Monday night), he didn't sleep at all. I popped up at 2:30am and couldn't go back to sleep. Last night (or this morning, rather), it was 3:40am. Honestly, I think that's the time he usually goes to work. I don't normally hear him when he's shuffling around here getting ready for work but, maybe subconsciously I do, which might explain why I popped awake at those particular times. Are we still connected even mentally? How nuts is that?!

I was going to have a glass of wine last night to help me sleep, but thought better of it. Now, I'm sort of regretting that I didn't. At least it would have helped me sleep through the night (of course, I could become dependent on it's acting as a sedative too, which wouldn't be good). I did, however, make good on my word and post the new goals on the other site...you know, the whole focus thing. I'd been doing pretty well until last night when the 128 ounces of water I'd drunk prevented my appetite from appearing until after 8:00pm. I knew I should eat something (my hubby whispering in my ear, even when he's not around...telling me that if I don't, my body will just hang on to the other stuff) , so I did and not the best things. Still, I didn't go as overboard as I could have. I think most nights I'll be happy with a big bowl of cereal. Most of my cooking will be for the benefit of the children anyway. I'm not one to eat when depressed...that, sadly, is my sister's lot in life.

Work seems to be the only stable thing (besides the children) right now. Our new person is pretty well trained. She's really sharp and (as a bonus) delightful. Such a change from my last coworker, who's house I will be going to for brunch on Sunday. That should be interesting. I'm not sure how to tone down how thrilled we are about her replacement. It's such a better match and I think she'll be so happy, where "J" never was. Each time we've talked, she's talked about work and even asked about specific tasks. She says it was hard to let go of. I guess I just can't imagine being so unhappy somewhere and not just making the break clean. My last job was like that; I couldn't wait to get out, and when I did? That was it. I was done. We'll see how the brunch goes.

I talked to hubby on the phone about four times yesterday. Each time, he sounded sad and confused. The deal fell through with his getting a bedroom set for the place. Currently, he's sleeping in another room that's already furnished. He said it's very nice. Still, the no bedroom furniture and not sleeping put a downer on his day. I think I projected the same feelings. He stuck around last week because he just couldn't get organized to leave. In his heart, he really didn't want to and told me that he had been trying to talk himself out of it. Ultimately, logic won out and he slept away Monday night. I truly hate sleeping alone and even when he's only gone for short trips, I never get my pattern down. When he used to work graveyards, it took months for me to get used to my biological furnace not being there next to me. It doesn't help that the nights are getting colder (we're supposed to drop down into the 40s this weekend) and so is our bed. I hope this doesn't last long...I guess I really hope that he feels we're worth saving. I've always chosen to fight. I hope he's fighting too.

Changing My Focus

Hubby was home the entire weekend and I was glad he was here, but he seems set on being gone tonight. It's been hard for both of us and the babe. We're doing our best to answer her questions and alleviate her fears. She's been asking why daddy is still at home, which is interesting. I think she'd found some sort of acceptance (I guess that's good).

I have to say, I'm really glad September is almost over (the month of change). Usually, it's a tough month for me...although, last year wasn't so bad. This year has been a pip! (do people still say that?) We're also in the midst of a retrograde, if you believe in the chaos of those...don't sign any contracts or make any major plans. Things will be weird (communication wise) for the next few weeks. Nice to come off of September with more drama, eh?

I've been trying to move myself into the spirit of the season by digging out my favorite horror flicks. So far, I've re watched Maximum Overdrive, Rosemary's Baby, Prom Night, Invasion of the Body Snatchers, The Lost Boys, and Christine. I have so many that I thought getting them in on the tail-end of September was best. I'm so OCD, even about movies. What's my deal?!

Finally, I've been training with hubby for several weeks now. Although, I feel stronger better (even tighter), I'm not dropping the weight I'd like to. I know I have to eat more calories to feed my muscles, but I'm just not happy with the number. I know...OCD to the max! So, I'm going to mix and match; combine hubby's training with my diet strategies. I think that will do the trick. My new goal is to get these pesky pounds off by the holidays. I won't give the magic number here, but I'll keep track on the other site as best I can (I've been doing pretty well this month. Actually, much better than I thought I could). I think if I have something tangible to focus on, I'll be able to cope with his not being around a little bit better. I suppose I should reset my goals list on the other site (I'll do that today).

My Hubby is Still Here

First, it was suppose to be Tuesday. Then, he stayed. Then he said, Wednesday. He stayed again. Last night, he called and asked if he could stay. Why does he ask? Of course I want him here. He says, "It's still the situation we're in and I should be respectful and ask." I suppose. It's all very weird. He did take some stuff over to the other place with the babe the other night. I'm happy he's around. I hope we can work this out without his leaving. The impending doom of his departure seems to have put a new perspective on things. We speak differently to each other, we handle things differently. I guess he knows what he's doing.

On a happier note, we're going to the circus with the girls this Saturday. I'm to meet him in town (since he'll just be getting off work) with the girls. Then, we'll park his car and take mine to the event center. Then, will sashay over and hang out with the elephants and clowns for a couple of hours. It's my daughters' first circus...I hope they like it.

One More Day

Hubby moves out tomorrow. I'm still in a bit of shock around all this. We told the babe and she took it just as I suspected she would. She was very sad and her questions were centered on the exact same things I'm worried about. He would say, "I'll be back to shovel snow, " and she'd totally freak out. It's the time frame in which (I guess in his mind) he sees himself away from us. Then, she wondered how often he'd be around. I've wondered that myself, even though he says he'll be here to see the kids. We'll he be here to see me too?

Time to Tell

Today's the day we break the news to the babe. I told hubby that we have to have a "happy" place planned for after, so that she understands that we still love her, we're still a family and we want to try and make things better. Hubby seems really nervous, as am I. She's such a sensitive soul and I hate to see her truly saddened. I don't know how this is going to go, but I'm hopeful that she'll understand how important this is, ultimately.

He "moves out" on Tuesday and it still seems a bit surreal. This isn't public knowledge. We're not telling our families and we're trying to keep this as private as possible (save this blog and his, if he's writing about it). I'm going to try my best for a good weekend, despite what's ahead next week.

I Did What I Said

So, it's in God's hands. I've come to peace with it. We're not separating legally (too much drama and heartache...especially since the goal is to work things out). I think hubby had a nervous breakdown reading up on all the paperwork that's involved, if you got through the process legally. His hang-up was that I would feel cheated or something out of support for the children. Let me just clear this up for any and all; my hubby is not a dead-beat dad. He's been in their lives from the very beginning and they are his life. I assured him quick and in a hurry that I would never accuse him of not taking care of them, or of him trying to "get one over" on me.

There's still a lot of love between us and it's very strong, but we're just not dealing with each other well on a one-to-one basis. I can respect his position and try this strategy in hopes that we can come back together as a better couple. He even asked if he could ask me out on dates (which I thought was very sweet). It's hard, but I'm hoping for the best. There isn't a set day on when he's moving out, but I know my life will be forever changed when he does. I miss him already.

September...the Month of Change

I'm cray busy (we've been interviewing for the vacant spot in my department for the last two days) and now I'm behind with my regular work. I shouldn't be blogging, for that matter, but I thought I would post information about my personal life here...for future reference or for whenever I need to look back at my life and shake my head. Things are not improving at home. Hubby is sleeping downstairs and I can't even bear to talk to him. I try, but I always get choked up and can't say much. Is this really happening? Every night before bed, I think that. I truly need to just give this to God because there's nothing else I can do. If this is to be the situation for my life, then I guess I'd better accept it.

The Room is Spinning

The room in my head, anyway. The weekend would have been nice, relaxingly and restful had I not been worrying about my marriage again. Hubby went off with the boys on Friday night to clear his head. When he came back, he informed me that he now finds a lot of clarity in his time away from me. Before, all he could think of was getting back home to me. He was very snippy and sleeping a lot Saturday. Finally, I asked him if he needed another day "away". I told him I understood, but it still hurt. He decided to take me up on my offer and disappeared with friends again.

I stayed up and watched a movie until around 11:30pm, then I texted him that I loved him and I wanted him to be safe. I didn't sleep well...two evenings in a row.

Sunday morning, he called at 7:00 and in his tone, it sounded as if he missed me. I went to church and was so excited to get home to see him. I thought, surely, he's figured out what he needs and all will be well. When I got home, we all napped and napped. (Those sleepless nights will make you do that, you know.) When we woke up, he informed me that he'd made his decision. That it was a decision he had been afraid to make, but knew that we probably should. He said that love has never been our problem, but that we're two different people now from when we started. Who knows how it happened, but he was unhappy that we fuss all the time now. He was despondent about being more "colorful" about his metaphors lately and he was heartbroken at how impatient he has become. I understood everything he was saying. With each word, I felt a little more hollow because I knew what was coming.

So, I'm still not sure what's happening. We didn't sleep well last night (the air conditioner is on the fritz. Ugh! We just bought that sucker last year, what's the deal?!). This morning, we talked briefly but I didn't want to get into logistics (truthfully, I'm afraid to). That's all he seems to want to talk about, but then he admitted last night that he doesn't. He just doesn't know what to talk about.

How will I explain this to the babe? She's so sensitive and everything seems to effect her. I think school, gym and dance will probably suffer. Not because she won't be interested, but because her family is falling apart. I suppose it is good that we are parents that still love each other and we're not trying to split up the kids and everything. The one thing I told hubby was that I was respecting his decision. This is certainly not what I want. I believe that, even though we've become different people, we could learn to get along again. We would just have to work at it and I believe our relationship is worth it. I also told him that I wouldn't pressure him that way. If he feels this is what we should do, than I respect that. I've been sort of numb the past few days.

Today, I'm numb and all over the place today (I have to go into the office, and that's throwing me for a loop). I'm so OCD and it throws me off when things are altered, even a little bit. We have interviews back-to-back over the next two days. I guess that's one stressor I won't have, once we finally have someone hired. I wish I could wave a wand and, not only would the interviewing be done, but the training as well. The training is going to put us so behind.

More Reading

I'm actually quite proud of myself and all the reading I've been doing lately. It wasn't so long ago that I balanced at least 7 novels a week, wrote short stories (while critiquing others) and cranked out weekly papers. Ah, those were the days. The first novel (the one everyone else has already read except me, Twilight), was a quick read. I had it done in about four days. Not bad, considering all of the interruptions. I moved onto New Moon late last week and have almost completed that novel. It's a well done series and I have a feeling I won't be able to keep the Babe out of the loop for much longer. She's intrigued and wants to see the movie with me this December. I guess I'll be re-reading these suckers out loud, before too long.

Speaking of the Babe, she began her Hip-Hop competition class last night. Unfortunately, her teacher wasn't there and she had a sub. After warming up (based on what the Babe told me) the teacher taught them a little dance, then said, "I have no idea what to do with you guys now." So, they played freeze dance and the Babe won a dollar. Okay...things have changed a bit since I was in dance.

When we were driving home, she told me that the teacher said she might have a "solo dance" this year. She wondered what that meant. I explained that it meant dancing alone, at least through part of the class performance. I assured her that she was "good" and didn't need to worry about it. "Besides," I said, "You love to dance." She agreed. I'm a little anxious to see schedules and such, now. I have a feeling my car is going to get quite the workout, traipsing her around to all the competitions and such. I think she's going to love it, but I also think my lazy weekends are going to die soon. So, sad.

We're hiring a replacement for the lady who quit in my department. I'm overly anxious about this, too (I need to chilax, I know). I just want to be sure we get somebody competent, reliable and friendly (with an upbeat spirit). J was/is a nice lady, but she could be a real downer a lot of the time. It sometimes made going into work unpleasant. I have a feeling my coworker feels the same way, but I'd never ask him out right. He's sort of shy and I think I scare him a bit. I'm usually just happy when he comes over to chat.

There's a crisp in the air here, now. We had a storm that dropped our temps from the upper 90s to the high 50's last weekend. Is it really time for fall?! I'm ready for the leaves to change and for the autumn smell to really pick up. It's one of my favorite times of the year. Now, if I can just keep myself from getting sick, I'll be a happy girl.

From Sandwiches and Pasta to Food (formerly) with a Pulse

I went on a much needed date with Hubby on Saturday night. First, we went to one of my favorite restaurants, Cafe Trang. They just opened a location in our neighborhood and, I gotta tell yah, the best lo mein noodles ever! I don't know what they do, but I don't know if I could ever duplicate the recipe. I was in heaven! Of course, the lack of carbs made the meal extra tasty.

After a wonderful meal and pleasant conversation, hubby and I went to the movies. Finally, finally, finally, we saw the Dar.k Knight. It was as fabulous as everyone is saying it is. For the first time, hubby and I talked in depth about the movie after watching it. Most times, he's not one for movie talk after the movie, but Saturday, he had lots to say. It was a refreshing change and quite welcomed.

Sunday, we spent the day at my mother's BBQing for Labor Day (better to do it Sunday and have Monday to rest, our philosophy). My mother has been dealing with nerve trouble, so I ended up cooking and grilling all the goods. Then (and I don't know how this happened), I ended up cleaning the entire kitchen, while hubby slept on the couch. I was none too happy about that scenario; however, he made up for it by making me a cocktail when we got home.

Monday, I rested and hung out with the girls. The Babe was extra cheeky and was pushing my patience more than a little bit. When hubby got home, we worked out and then I went to the store to pick up a few items to cook for dinner. It was a nice break from the kids, but I always feel so guilty leaving them (even with their father).

Here's the latest issue: I'm trapped in my life again. I hate the way it feels and there seems no end to the stress of it. Hubby (after waking me in the middle of the night) offered to take the kids while I went away. He does this all the time (gets away for adventures alone or with friends, without me and the kids), but I have only done this once and it wasn't over night. It was hubby's birthday present to me when I turned 28...yeah, it's been a while. I suppose I would have done this more often, if not for the guilt. I have a tremendous amount of guilt around it and it's so frustrating. I suppose I sound a bit like a crazy person, but it's true. His offered sounded lovely on the surface, then the pangs rose up in me...telling me that I was a child deserter and that I shouldn't be so selfish. I don't know how to get past those feelings.

In the same vein, hubby and I have been arguing quite a bit and I'm sure that it has to do with my current state of mind. I've been snippy and not as "friendly" as I normally am or would like to be. I can't help but think that my current meal plan and the fact that Aunt Flo is on the way is making things any better. Still, I do notice that I devote everything I have to everyone else. I finished my book (Twilight), but it took an amazing amount of effort. Since when is reading a book that difficult? It seems someone is always in need of my time. Again, I'm happy to offer it but logic tells me that it isn't healthy to sacrifice myself in the process. I hope I can keep my sanity a bit longer. I'm beginning to feel it slip through my fingers.

Oh, and as for the eating, the menu has been tweaked a bit. If you're at all curious about what it is I'm eating (mostly items that at one time had a pulse), check out the other site.

I Had a Sandwich Last Night...

I think it was the best damn sandwich I've ever eaten...or maybe it's my lack of carbs and bread that had me inhaling it like a crack fiend. Then, I had the pleasure of a Skinny Cows sundae cone. Love those things (and I'm not a huge ice cream fan). Hubby says he'll tweak my meals again after this week (following my cleansing, as he calls it). I hope the new menu includes buckets of pasta. Indy was eating a Banquet meal spaghetti dinner yesterday and I thought I might attack her for a noodle. So, sad.

Reading Books...for real?

Yep! I can't even believe it myself. My ex coworker bought me the text you see to the left for my Christmas present. I started the book in June, but haven't had a "full steam ahead" burst to finish it. I'm on chapter 20 or so, but as you can see, that probably hits the first third of the book (not very far along at all). It's about the famous Count Drakul the Impaler and his exploits in history. Seems the Count has resurfaced and we should all be on our guard. There is a lot of traveling, historical references and long diatribes. I've found the book interesting, but definitely not one that I'm having trouble putting down.

Because of all the noise about the book on the right, I decided I needed to be "in the know" before the movie comes out this fall. I'm a fan of the vampires, so I thought I'd give it a go. So far, so good. I'm on about chapter 5 or 6 and moving along nicely. There are other books in the series so, I'll probably purchase those as well (I would have checked this book out from the library, but the catalog online indicated that a return date was "undetermined". This usually means several people have it on hold and who knows how many people are standing in line to read this). I can already understand why there's such excitement around it. Everyone loves and underdog (and that's all I'll say).

I'm planning a date for me and hubby this weekend. Not sure how I ended up as the planner. Just last week, he was planning and asked if I could get my sister to watch our kids. She couldn't because she had a date...plans squashed. Now, she's able to watch them this weekend and I have no idea what we're going to do. I think we'll finally see the great Bat but I can't find movie times (I don't think they'll be posted until tomorrow). And dinner? Huh! With the plan hubby has me on, I'll be lucky if I can eat anything that didn't have a pulse at one point. Perhaps we can go to the "all-you-can-meat" Brazilian restaurant. From what I hear, they visit your table with an assorted array of meats that you can just eat, and eat, and eat. Oh, my kingdom for a slice of bread!

Weird Dreams

I had the craziest dream last night that still has me scratching my head. I was with old roommates and various people from my college days for some sort of reunion get together. Half of the people I was hangin' with were people I would never associate with. Then, out of nowhere, Mr. Will Smith himself appears and starts telling me that he needs me to help him hide. WTF? First of all, where did you come from and second, why are you asking me?

Well, not to be uncharitable, I try to find an undisclosed location for him to hide and succeed. He's so grateful, that he tells me he'll send me something. Then, he gives me his email address. The user name of which? PoundPuppy. Again, wtf? He then leaves the location, shortly after urging me to put him there, then gets jumped by a mob of fans. It's your own damn fault, man.I tried to help you.

Hubby says that, when he woke up, I was wrapped all around him. We usually awaken on opposite sides of the bed...not because we don't like being near each other, but because he's a freakin' furnace and it's just too hot to sleep too close together. Blast his metabolism! When he called me this morning to talk, he said that he didn't sleep well and that he woke up sweating. Wonder if, between the two of us, that's where the weird dreams came from. I'm really surprised that I didn't dream about runners because that's the last thing we did before bed; Watch Usai.n Bolt win the gold for Jamaica. Why wasn't he in my dream? Too weird.

Barely Breathing and Birthdays

So, after visiting the babe's regular pediatrician, she ended up having pneumonia. That explains the zombie-like state and the lack of appetite. A little antibiotics, albuterol and prednisone later, she's 100% again. Her real doctor also diagnosed her with mild asthma. Well, I guess I can't say I didn't see it coming. She's had episodes with her breathing since birth. At least we can maintain her active lifestyle with regular treatments. She was really scared when he gave us the diagnosis, but has since grown used to the new schedule.

The party was sensational! Truly! She had so much fun. The girls arrived in their "diva gear" and went right to my kitchen table to eat (bagel bites, chips & dip, corn-dog bites, veggies and virgin daiquiris with whipped cream). The drinks were served in plastic wine goblets, which the girls just loved. After eating, they went downstairs to my newly, decorated diva-style basement and sang karaoke for about an hour. They sang alone, together, the same songs and the rest. Indy was running around all over the place. As soon as her sister had the mike, she'd try to take it, then she'd start to cry when her sister wouldn't give it to her. Drama (diva-drama). I video-taped all the girls as well to capture their "moments in the sun" for all eternity.

Once the singing was done, they danced for about ten minutes (disco ball and all), then came back upstairs for cake and present openings. What a haul! As if she didn't need any more crap in her room. I keep threatening to go in there and clean it out....hmm. Now, I think I may just have to.

The girls danced until their parents arrived and departed with super take-home gifts to boot. Ring pops, glow sticks, hair accessories and plastic bling. Why didn't they have parties like this when I was growing up? Each girl also got a prize for performing (most High School Musical and Hannah Montana garbage) Ugh! I'll be glad when she's over that stuff.

My best friend was here for the entire weekend and I nearly fell apart when I had to take her to the airport on Monday. Before she left, I downloaded and created DVDs for all the girls, including her, as a thank you for being there. She was great to have around for moral support (and crowd control). My girls were also thrilled to have their god-mother around. Hubby was great too, but of course, the daddies are different. Honestly, I'm just glad that the babe had a memorable 8th birthday party, I got time with my best friend and all the sick-voodoo seems to have left my house.

My Zombie Girl

The babe (my oldest) was complaining of illness this past Saturday. We ended up seeing the Mummy 3 and she was absent for most of the movie. She had stomach angst and overall, just felt crummy. She also had a low-grade fever that carried over into Sunday. We stayed for our first church service, then had to leave right after (she cried the latter part of the service because she just felt so bad). Through the week, the low-grade fever remained but she had periods of wellness, so I just assumed a small bug. Wednesday, we ended up at after-hours care...two hours later, some X-rays and a hungry toddler later, we left with little more knowledge than when we came in.

The babe has also lost four pounds (from where?!) and is extremely weak. She really hasn't eaten anything since last Friday and it's just breaking my heart, watching her drag herself from place to place...not wanting to do anything (and with her birthday only a week away!) Poor kid. The doctors at the after-hours place do the best they can, but I'm calling her pediatrician this morning and getting an appointment, post-haste! I would have earlier, but her doctor is 30+ miles away. My mom was like, "It may be time to change doctors," but I'm sure you all know what that's like.
She's got to have something more than a, "it's probably a virus so, drink more liquids and "eat lots of Popsicles" response. It's been nearly seven days! I told my hubby last night that when I had my bronchitis a month ago, the doctor told me he thought it was a virus. Still, he prescribed low-dose antibiotics because I'm sure he knew it would help boost my immunity. I felt better a half hour after the first dose. I'm praying her doctor (or the team at her clinic) will do the same. I just hate seeing her like this!

On the work front, my co-worker has turned in her resignation and it couldn't happen at a more inopportune time. Our schedule usually picks up mid August, then we get slammed in September. There's no way we're going to find someone to replace her and train before the rush. My other coworker doesn't' do all of the things that I do, which will make this even more interesting. I'm glad for her that she's doing something she needs to do, to get herself well (but it really sucks for us). I just hope the rest of the world can be somewhat patient with us while we compensate for the missing body. I told my boss to hire during the summer. I really wish he'd taken my advice on that point.

Party Planning

The soon-to-be 8 year old is going to have a birthday party (if she doesn't get into to too much trouble over the next couple of weeks). We've been struggling with her remembering things and being responsible. I know she's young but it's quite frustrating telling her things over, and over, and over again. Simple things like remembering to make-up her bed before she leaves her room in the morning, or putting her shoes in her closet when she takes them off. I don't think we're asking the world of her and I wonder if it's just the "lazy days of summer" that have her forgetting her name and everything else. I've got her reading chapter books again to get her warmed up for school. Hopefully, the neurons will start firing and she'll again have a clue (but, sadly, I'm not hopeful). My girlfriend said that it's the age. I was told the same thing about the whinnying we experienced last year. She cried about everything! The good news is that she doesn't anymore.

As for the party, I've done it on a budget, but it should be a lot of fun if everyone she invited actually shows. My mother is lending me her Karaoke machine and the girls will be able to do Karaoke and dance for the party. I have this really cool video camera now, so I'll probably tape all the girls' performances and make them available to the parents on disc. I hope I remember (speaking of memories) because I tend to get all spacey when a lot of people are demanding my attention. I suppose I can make a point to set up the camera on the tripod during the decorating process. I even bought a disco ball that has it's own light source! Hubby and I were playing with it the other night. He said it was hypnotic...I guess that's good.

The babe has no idea what's planned for her, but she'll know soon enough when we deliver the invites which will include a disc with some of the songs the girls can perform. She's so excited, but I keep telling her that party plans are contingent on her behavior. Invitations and arrangements can still be canceled. Am I an evil mommy?

Meanwhile, hubby is on the, "Where do you want to retire," kick these past few days. It's amazing just to get through one day, let alone try to figure out what I'll do during retirement. I envision "early bird" specials, bowling, lots of cruises and dinner parties. Are my visions of an age long gone, considering that social security will be long gone? I might as well ask him if he wants a martini when he arrives home from work. Let's really talk about an age long gone!

Nothing new is happening with me. I'm still on the same track I was and will be for a while. I have a meeting with my boss tomorrow that could change the way things are. Unfortunately, my coworker (who is very unhappy and hates her job) may have changed my outlook with her meeting with him today. My other coworker said that she went straight to his office this morning and the door went shut. Not a good sign. She was out last week due to illness. The week before, she called me and cried about how miserable she is. It's probably for the best, but my boss's outlook on my work schedule may change drastically because of it. I guess we'll soon see.

What a Playlist - What I'm feeling

Here's what I'm listening to...

1. Irreplaceable - Beyonce
2. Virgin - Chico Debarge
3. In My Bed [Bugz in the Attic Mix] - Amy Winehouse
4. Take the Box (the Headquarters Mix) - Amy Winehouse
5. Chasing Pavements - Adele
6. Pass You By - Boys II Men
7. Faded Pictures - Case & Joe
8. Ms. Wonderful - Chico Debarge
9. Love Jones - Chico Debarge
10. Honey - Erykah Badu
11. Back in the Day (Puff) - Erykah Badu
12. Femininity - Eric Benet
13. Too Little Too Late - Jojo
14. 4 Minutes - Madonna Feat. Justin Timberlake
15. Mark Morrison - Return of the Mack
16. Can you Feel It - The Jackson Five
17. We Run This - Missy Elliott
18. The Sweetest Tabu - Sade
19. When I Get you Alone - Robin Thicke

A Movie at the Theater? Really?!

Hubby and I caught Hellboy II at the local theater this past weekend. Really! We even took Indy with us (the babe was invited to a sleepover, so she was not with us). Indy was intrigued by the first one, calling him "the monkey", so we figured she'd be okay in the theater and she was (to our delight). I thought it was fun, but the first one had a better story with much more heart. Mr. Del Toro's infusion of "Pan's Labyrin.yth" type elements was a nice touch and the special effects were cool. They also left room for a third installment, but I'm not sure that's a wise move.

Still haven't seen "the bat", but I'm anxious. There's a special place in my hear for the DC Comic characters (especially my girl). After seeing the animated movie from red box, the special features teased me with a trailer for the Wonder Woman animated movie, coming out next spring. I was thrilled!

I had a nice surprise last night...a call from my best friend in high school. We talked for about half an hour about our families, our lives and the current culture climate in Utah and Tennessee. It was, as always, an eye-opener hearing about all the changes. I'm not due back until next year and I can only imagine how much will have changed by then. Two hours later, my college best friend called! I felt so loved and realized that I really need to put my "free" minutes into use on the weekends and talk to these ladies.

Hubby is training folks again, and this time, he's getting paid. He's not the most organized person, when it comes to business. I can foresee a lot of paper work and such being handle by moi. So far, transactions have occurred without receipts (not good). He says he's on the hunt for a good receipt book and I was like, "Honey, it really doesn't matter what it costs. You don't have to be super frugal...you'll probably right it off anyway." We've never done the personal business thing before and we've still got a lot to learn, but I definitely know that the money needs to be documented.

I started weight training again, yesterday morning and I'm paying for it today. The front and back of my arms, my chest and even my shoulders are in agony. Lactic acid is definitely to blame, so I'm trying to drink my water like a good girl. Tonight, we're supposed to paint and wash cars. I was going to try to work in some cardio, but we'll see how time plays out. Tomorrow? Leg day. I think I'll roll over and die now, thank you.

The Lazy Days of Summer

Well, lazy for some, I guess. Hubby is home with the girls because today is a holiday. Oh, you didn't know it was a holiday? Of course you didn't, because it only exists in freaking Utah (Ugh!). I think it's sort of a dud holiday, but nearly everything around here closes up (including daycare). Hubby traded days with another coworker for something so, he ended up with today, tomorrow, Saturday and Sunday off (lucky!). Yours truly, not only had to work today, but had to drive in as well (I was real happy about that, I gotta tell you).

We were lying in bed this morning, all cozy and warm. I passed on my workout to snuggle with him for another half hour (snoozing every 9 minutes or so). When 5:15 arrived, I cursed the clock and got up from our love embrace. That was the crap on my day. Work has been slow, slow, slow (lots of people on vacation and watching the parades...why parades? So pointless). They were planning to play and go swimming today. I want to go swimming! At least I work from home tomorrow and I can be around him (as long as he doesn't run a thousand errands).

In other news, yours truly has put on a few extra pounds from the vacation and it keeps creeping on. Some of it is water weight, true enough (I've been having a love affair with salt as of late), but the crazy thing? Everyone keeps telling me how great I look, which makes me wonder if I've picked up some muscle mass (the workouts have not stopped, even though food is my dear friend). I gotta get this extra baggage off before my best friend gets here in August...not because she'll talk about me (she wouldn't) but because we always pig out when we're together. we do active things, but food is a good friend of hers too.

I have a friend getting married tomorrow. I'm so happy for her, but she's very scared. She's invited me to her reception in town and it would be fun to go to. We'll see if I make it (I can even bring the kidlets...not sure I want to, though).

Nearly A Month, but I'm Here

Wow! Has it really been almost a month since I've posted? I didn't even talk about my vacation (as promised). Well, here it is:

We went to rent the car on a Thursday and were presented with a Mercury Sable. Can we say "Land Yacht, boys and girls?" Holy crud! The car was huge! Hubby decided there was no way we were going to tool around three states with that thing. The gay attendant (who was seriously crushing on hubby) hooked him up with a trailblazer instead. Now, we could take the stroller but not feel like we were in a sail boat.

Our trip began on Saturday, June 14th. We drove approximately four hours to St. George and into triple-digit heat. Thankfully, it's a dry heat and I wasn't too miserable (but hot is hot, right?). Our accommodations were lovely; a third-floor, two bedroom condo with two bathrooms, each with their own jetted-tub. Nice. The patio had dual accesses; one from the living room (adjacent to the fireplace) and one from the master bedroom. The kitchen was tidy and fully-equipped (but we didn't use t much). The decor? Southwestern modern with some questionable art in the master bedroom (questionable meaning, we think it a surreal portrait of native Americans, but it looked more like a six year-old's attempt). We spent the evening enjoying the pool and watching the kids have the time of their lives.

The next day, we were up bright and early. We enjoyed breakfast on the patio/deck (which would be the norm for the next two mornings) then off we went to explore. Most of our time in St. George was really just spent relaxing and eating. The girls and I got in a lot of pool time and I even snuck in a work-out with hubby. Tuesday, June 17th, we packed up our gear and headed south and west; onward to California (but not before stopping in Vegas, first).

In Vegas, we tooled around the outlet mall for a couple of hours, ate our lunch and just enjoyed each other's company. We also took advantage of the Disney outlet and hubby purchased goodies for the girls (they still had no idea we were going). Back on the road, we traveled another four hours to Anaheim and 90 degree heat. Ninety degrees and humid doesn't sit well with this chick. I spent our three days there sweating like I had some tropical disease. It was not attractive.

Arriving at the hotel, we were greeted by customer service oriented staff (always nice). The room? Oh, brother. I couldn't tell if we were just spoiled coming from the condo or if it really was as small as we thought. Our girls were basically in a closet connected to the suite. The hardwood floors were dusty (I learned fast and remembered to keep my house shoes on whenever we were there). I had to remind myself that it was a place to sleep and not to get too hung up on the little things. We didn't do much that evening after all that driving. Aside from grab dinner and go back to the room, we walked over to the California Grand to see how to make our way into Disneyland the next day (the hotel was just across the street).

Bright and early Wednesday morning, hubby went for a work out while I got the girls dressed and ready to go pick up breakfast. Why is it that when you go to chain restaurants away from home, they always seem to take twice as long? Denny's brought out our grand slams twenty minutes later and back to the hotel we went. We were way behind our intended schedule, but we ate and made our way to the park as quickly as we could.

I haven't been to Disneyland since I was my daughter's age (around 7 or so). It was quite different from what I remembered, until we got on some familiar rides; Pirates of the Caribbean (now equipped with Jack Sparrow scenes), the Haunted Mansion and Space Mountain. Space Mountain was still as cool as I remembered, if not more so. The babe (due to some interesting circumstances with our fast passes and "wait to ride" cards, got to ride that sucker four times. She was thrilled. We went back to the hotel for a break around mid-day, then came back to ride more rides and enjoy the fireworks. I was quite impressed with my two-year old who never once had a melt down.

Thursday, we took Beach street all the way to Huntington Beach. The girls loved it! Hubby and I,of course, picked that day to let our nerves get the best of us. We weren't speaking much, but I grabbed great photos and video of the girls on the sand and in the water. It was Indy's first time in the ocean. She was a bit apprehensive at first, then really started getting into it. Seaweed and sand for two year olds -- a great combination.

This was the day hubby also stocked up on libations. Liquor is readily available and cheap in California...perhaps that's why they have so many DUIs. Who knows. We're set for a while, at least and with our Albertson.s preferred card discount? We couldn't go wrong.

Friday, we packed up and headed back to St. George. Again, we pit-stopped in Vegas and hubby hit up the Disney store one last time. Despite our arguing, I made out with cute Tinkerbell shirt that I've worn several times since. In St. George, we washed all our laundry and enjoyed stretching out again in our spacious condo. One bedroom this time, but oh, so much nicer than our hotel. We ate dinner and watched a couple hours of the dog whisperer. Interesting memory to make, I'd say.

Back on the road Saturday, I was happier, a bit more tired than I wanted to be but pleased with the arrangements we'd made. It wasn't Florida, but we did have a good time and managed not to break the bank. We came home to a sparkling clean house (we went crazy the night before we left cleaning...hubby even steam cleaned the carpets) and scruffy grass. Our neighbors didn't even notice we were gone (I think that means we did things right). I was glad to know, however, that my mother had stopped by to check on things while we were away. She had also kept our dog who had had an altercation with hers just two nights before we got back. A $100 vet bill later, he was medicated and well on his way to healing (poor doggie).

All in all, it was a better vacation than San Francisco and the St. George vaca we had last year. I'd really like to do something a bit more exotic but I know the reality of our country and I'm not holding my breath. I am, however, hoping that hubby and I will get to see the Virgin Islands some day in our lives. I'm thinking of getting a passport, just so I can be sure it happens sooner rather than later.