Thursday, May 07, 2009

Play Nice, Girls

I'm putting that statement on myself and how "mothers" can sometimes be so trifling.

My daughter dances with five other girls in her group. They are either a year older or younger than she is. One of these girls, who is in second grade, has grown to like the Babe very much. She has asked me several times if she could sleep over and I've put her off for now, simply because there isn't time. I have assured her that it will happen and that I'll make plans with her mother. It's the end of the school year and the girls seem to be gone every weekend for competitions. Anyway, before I even knew who this girl was, I met her mother. We were making very idle chatter one night, but she seemed very preoccupied (and a bit snobby, to my way of thinking). She almost seemed to look through me as she talked. I wrote it off, thinking she probably had a lot on her mind.

Later, we met again and I didn't connect that it was the same person because, 1., she looked very different and 2., she was very talkative. So much so that I thought she was sharing way too much. Then, she began to criticize the girls dance and critique them to no end (which totally turned me off). She sort of apologized for being such a perfectionist, but by then, I wasn't really paying much attention to her. She was sounding too much like a pageant mother and they have issues.

At one of the competitions, I was sitting on the bleachers and she came past me. She said hello, but it was hollow again (like she was looking through me). Last night, the girls performed for a high school group. This time, I came up the bleachers and I didn't see her until I was on the row behind her. She said hello, as did I. Then, I mentioned that her daughter had asked me (yet again) for a sleep over. I told her mother I thought she might not approve of a "school-night" sleepover and that we should wait until all the competing is over and done with. I smiled a lot and hoped she would agree. She just looked at me. No nod. No vocal recognition. She smiled slightly, then turned away. Huh?!

So, now I'm wondering if she's nuts or if it's me. Am I crazy? What is this woman's deal?! Could it be that when she was having her "come to Jesus" moment and I turned her off, she turned me off? Could she be trying to figure me out? Is she the snob I think she is? (She bragged a bit about where her daughter takes gymnastics and how they moved from "Fruit Heights" - a very well-to-do area, to the city where the school is located now...almost like she had taken a step down). I know she's in real estate, as is most of their family. She provided the babe with her business card, so that we would have their number and yeah, the family is pictured on the card. Her daughter that dances with my daughter is also her youngest (she has a child in college, which I learned during her "come to Jesus" session).

My hubby says not to worry about it. That I know people here are generally a little weirder than others and that, "She could be crazy," and to "watch myself." Great. I'm thinking, my daughter wants to play with her daughter, who is a sweetheart and a doll and I'd love for them to play together, but I still have to deal with her mother, in order to do make this play date or sleep over happen. I'm not trying to be friends. That isn't necessary, but I'd at least like to be civil and not feel like I was the gum on the bottom of her shoe. Is that asking for so much?

She doesn't strike me as the type of person to rationalize things with. Again, I'm not trying to be friends; however, being cordial and polite would make for easier arrangements all around. I almost don't want to call her but, her daughter is incredibly persistent. What to do...

Meanwhile, the babe was up several times last night. Nightmares, sad thoughts, lots of crying, despondent. Hubby tried to talk with her and sent her to bed after each talk. I've just ushered her into the bathroom for a shower (mind you it's like 5:15am and she's up again). I hope she can make it through the school day. I hesitate to give her a caffeine boost, cause she'll just crash and things will be worse. What a night! Is the moon full?

3 comments:

Dee said...

sounds like this lady is unwell--not dangerously so, but still not quite where she needs to be

that sudden change you saw, that could have been a manic episode

Enchantress said...

I hadn't even considered that. Truly insightful, and definitely something to watch for. Thank you!

Tasha said...

It really sounds like this lady is dealing with a lot in her life. Like maybe being in real estate is taking a toll on her and she's just going through the motions of life half-talking to people. I dunno; if I were you I'd be a little hesitant with her as well.