I Need a Vacation!

It's so sad when you're looking towards your maternity leave as a potential vacation (cause that sure the hell isn't what it's going to be). Normally, I take a ton of time off around Christmas and the timing is perfect. We normally do the family vacation thing during the summer, so by the time the holidays come around, I'm ready to leave again. I guess it's just a kind of restlessness I've become accustomed to...well, whatever it is, it's starting to make me nuts! I feel like taking a drive somewhere and just laying low for a few days but there's no way I can. Every day I have is for the baby...every single one, so I can't afford to just "take off" like I want to. I'd even be fine with me and the babe "taking off" to Wolf Creek (one of our favorite getaways), but it's not like she's in preschool or daycare anymore. Kindergarten requires attendance, turned in assignments and record taking. Then, there are the social aspects. I can really tell she's missing school when she's out for a long period of time, like this past week. She needs the outlet of friends and silliness to keep her grounded and her mother sane.

The other issue is my husband. More marital drama, I'm afraid. It's actually more of the same stuff: hubby working way too many hours, spending way too much time trying to get "house" stuff done, and then spending little to no time with me or the babe. I can feel the beast of depression coming down on me, and it's really not a good time to be preggers and hating life. With wintry, snowy skies and no sun it's going to take it's toll if I don't do something. Unfortunately, there's nothing I can do until after next week. The waiting around for him to come back from Vegas, just so I'm assured that all his days off are actually days off and not time for more overtime, is excruciating! I've thought about spending more time at my mother's if only for the companionship, but that would mean more time around my sister and I can only handle her in small doses. Besides that, my mother would become suspicious (because that's just the type of person she is) and would silently wonder why I was at her house so much...then possibly hold secret resentment against me or my hubby. Although, I could just be paranoid. I don't know. Did I mention I haven't heard from him at all today? We fuss a lot when there's tension between us and I truly think he's trying to find his peace. I hope he has better luck at it than I'm having.

I just got a call from my doctor's office and they are squeezing me in next week (the 6th at 9:15 am...my boss is going to love that). It's a good thing, too especially after my stint in the hospital this past Saturday. The doctor will only be in on the 6th and is off the remainder of the week. He was completely booked when I set-up the appointment last week and I hoped a cancellation would happen. I guess my hopes were realized. So, that's one good thing that's happened to me this week. I hope he spends more time talking to me about what happened then my normal 5 minutes with him in the office of, "Your blood pressure is good. You're weight is good and your pee is good. Any questions?". That gets a bit frustrating.

So, no skipping town, no husband and I've got an earlier doctor's appointment to look forward too. God, that's awful! Well, I think I need to give myself something to look forward to. Maybe I'll take me and the babe to an "eat out" tonight (somewhere besides McDonald's, for heaven's sake). I could do with some seafood and there's a Long John's Silvers downtown. Okay, so it's not "real" seafood, but it would make me happy and the babe likes their chicken. And, since it's in a mall, would could walk about a bit and look at Christmassey stuff. Yeah, okay. That's what I'll do. It ain't much but, you gotta find your joy where you can.