Halloween and Other Incidentals

So, the Halloween potluck at work was a huge success! It was a chili and chowder theme. One employee actually brought a very decent Jambalya. The crock-pot was scraped clean, by the time I got up for seconds. Our committee went out-of-control on the decoration front, but everyone seemed to enjoy themselves. I came as Lily Munster, complete with raven black, silver-streaked tresses, over the top makeup and flowing black cape (which I made). I managed to snag a fourth-place costume prize. Our winner? Someone actually came as Beauty and the Beast's Mrs. Potts. It was pretty cute and she deserved her winnings. She, like myself, got the bulk of her costume from eBay. Oh, what did we ever do without it! I'm such an addict.

By the end of the day, I was completely exhausted. I don't know why it's so hard for me to remember that, when you carry a baby, you just don't have the same kind of energy. I really thought I was going to pass out at my desk. People who saw me the next day even commented on how tired I looked. Damn, if I looked tired through all that war-paint on my face, that's really saying something.

On the home front, I got the little one home and into her Pegasus/Unicorn costume. She was so excited. Then, dad put on his. What a brave man! Actually, I thought he made a rather hot Batman...too bad I was too tired to do anything...(It's not typical that I show pictures of my family or anyone, because I'm so paranoid. I figured since dad was in a mask, it would be okay.

That's something that I haven't really discussed on this site: Why is it that on the Ebonyenchantress page I have some pictures, but the faces are blurred out and on the New Dawn site, I don't have any pictures? The answer is simple and complicated. My name. My name is so unique and so different that when you google it, everything about me pops up (well, the few public items that I have out there pop up, anyway). No, it's not ghetto fabulous and it's not famous (well, my maiden is in the music world, but not my first name), but I'll tell you...I've never met anyone with my name. So, because of everything I talk about on the blogs, I figure it's best to keep that piece of information to myself. If you figure it out, all the more frightening because then people will really know how crazy I am. LOL!

The rest of the week has been fairly good, with one little episode; I had another one of my meltdowns Tuesday night with my hubby. I basically told him how much I hate his hours (which, he already knew) and how much I hate that he's away so much (no news flash there) and finally, how out of control I feel about my emotions right now, especially in regards to my paranoia with him. I'm really worried about how I'll feel when/if he leaves for the academy in Vegas early next year. That's four months with no contact with him, other than phone calls. Four freaking months! What the hell are we supposed to do? It's not like I'll be able to jump in the car and drive the six hours with my five-year old and a new born, whenever I feel like it.

It's really sad because if it hadn't been for the August revelations, I wouldn't even feel like this. I mean, I would miss him terribly, but I wouldn't be second guessing his actions while away. As it is, it's all compounded by the emotions of a pregnant woman and I just hate it! Although I am caring and affectionate, I'm not an emotional person. I don't wear my heart on my sleeve and I use reason and logic to make decisions in my life. That's been completely tossed out the window! I feel like I'm on emotional overdrive most of the time, and there's no way to control it. It's just so frustrating!

Well, there's really nothing I can do about it, is there. We talk and talk and talk and that's all we can do, for right now. His counseling starts up again next week and he's very optimistic. I'm glad that he's taking positive steps, but meanwhile, I feel like I'm always in investigate mode when it comes to him.

Lastly, I'm taking my daughter to see Clifford the Big Red Dog this Saturday. She has no idea she's going and I think she'll be so excited when we pull up and see her favorite red dog. My mother called last night and asked if we were going to see Disney on Ice next week. We thought about it, but hubby determined that the three of us would cost close to $100, and that was money we could use on Christmas, or the baby or any number of debt related items. My mother pipes up, "Well, I'd be happy to pay for the tickets, since I know how much "the babe" loves The Lion King." What?! Well, that was a surprise. So, I guess my little one will have two outings with her mother this month. I suppose this is what will happen when dad is gone...lots of outings to keep our minds off of the fact that he's not around. It's so depressing.