I Love the 80's!

Yeah, I think I'm about to come across totally lame here, but I truly do. I find myself missing leg warmers, John Hughes movies of teen angst, the Smurfs, the material girl before marriage and kids...really, that whole Reagan period (okay, not Reagan so much but, you know what I mean). I get so nostalgic sometimes...longing for that time when the worse thing you saw on television were day-glow socks. I especially miss the cartoons (probably because I was a child during the 80's, that along with my current toy fixation, was what I did). Over the weekend, I found a tape with about 6 episodes of Jem and the Holograms. Remember them? My cousin and I would come home from school and watch it and Kids Incorporated. Crazy! I'd forgotten how enamored we were with these girls and how their lives were so important. Truly, it was the first time a cartoon was so like a soap opera.

So, I'm watching a couple of these episodes thinking, "What the heck are they wearing?" and "Why doesn't anyone just have one color of hair?" The stories were still compelling (even to a thirty-year old plus mom) and I wondered, "What has happened to the cartoons of old?" So much of what's on now I don't let my daughter watch, simply because it's just straight up garbage. If there's some substance and she's learning something, fine. (She watches a whole lot of PBS Kids and when we had cable/dish, Noggin and the Disney Channel). Granted, Jem wasn't breaking down any political barriers, but the stories were well told, had intrigue, and produced a lesson. The same could be said for even softer cartoons like Strawberry Shortcake and the Care Bears or harder ones like G.I. Joe and the Transformers (I watched those, too.) My hubby is a big fan of the Thundercats and can often be heard saying (when he's feeling really full of himself); "Thunder, Thunder, Thundercats...ho!" (Yeah, pretty comical)

My daughter watched a bit with me and seemed to get the stories, okay. She was really entranced by the music. Oh, the two-minute videos...priceless! The singing isn't horrible, either. I might grab these up for her once Sony gets it together and does a rerelease. Right now, the Rhino versions are the only ones out (out-of-print) and you can pay upwards of $100 for one season. Geesh!

I've purchased Punky Brewster (both seasons) for her and she loves them. Plus, they're wholesome and cute and it's a great tribute to girls and their individuality. If we'd let her, she'd watch Punky all day. Well, I want her to gain something, not fry her brain.

There must be enough of us (80's lovers) yelling for this stuff because, just from scanning the web, there are cult followings everywhere! Remakes have happened, already, with Strawberry Shortcake and (recently) I saw pictures of a new, revamped Holly Hobby. They are both trendier looking (not so dowdy).

I love the music of the 80's, too. AND, I actually remember when MTV played music videos all day and the videos were artistic or at least, creative. Okay, I'm going to stop now because I'm starting to feel really old. (lol)

...just for the heck of it - Tag, your it!

Q: What’s your main ringtone on your phone?A: It was "Prototype" by Outkast but, I changed phones and now all I have are the goofy, preprogrammed songs and no way to download others with the carrier I have. It's called Tumbao, whatever that means.
Q: Whose bed did you sleep in last night?A: The marriage bed, of course (alas, no husband was there with me.)
Q. Most recent movie that you watched?A: Aeon Flux
Q: Name 3 things that you have on you at all times?A: my cell phone, KL or White Diamonds perfume, my skin (lol)
Q: What’s the color of your bedsheets?A: Leopard print, but we change them out about every two months.
Q: How much cash do you have on you right now?A: like, $2. I never have cash on me.
Q: What is your favorite part of the chicken?A: breasts and legs
Q: What’s your favorite town/city?A: Oceaside, CA and ATL
Q: I can’t wait to (till)…?A: Work is over. I'm so bored today! Won't have much to do, until my meeting
Q: When was the last time you saw your mom?A: At 6.30 pm last night
Q: When was the last time you saw your dad?A: Mother's Day, 2005
Q: When was the last time you talked to them?A: My mother? This morning around 8ish. My dad? Who knows.
Q: What did you have for dinner last night?A: Slow cooker, BBQ Stew...ummm.
Q: How long have you been at your current job?A: a little over five
Q: Look to your left. What’s there?A: Two empty cubies. They look so lonely.
Q: Who is the last person you spent over $50 on?A: My daughter (summer clothes)
Q: What’s the last piece of clothing you borrowed from someone?A: My hubby. I wanted to actually wear clothes to bed last night, so I wore his tank top - "Everybody Loves Dees Nuts" Love it!
Q: What website(s) do you visit the most during the day?A: Yahoo, google, comcast, "Reload", "Maintainsane", "Bruthacode","humanity critic",(my work site), Netscape, and probably a host more that I haven't named.
Q: Do you have an air freshener in your car?A: Well, the carpet cleaner has a nice sent, but no air freshner these days (have to be careful what "scents" are around the kids.
Q: Do you have plants in your room?A: Uh, no. I have cats and they try to eat everything. I do have a beauitful bunch of roses on my kitchen table that hubby got me (pink with red accents).
Q: Does anything hurt on your body right now?A: My damn feet. These heels are killing me! We usually dress borderline pajamas at my work, so this is a bit uncomfortable.
Q:What city was your last taxi cab ride in?A: Huh! I've never been in a cab, believe that?!
Q: Do you own a camera phone?A: Nah. If I wanna take pictures, I'll use a real camera.
Q: What’s your favorite drink?A: I'm digging Bahama Mamas and, just recently, Hurricanes. Umm...they make me happy.
Q: Recent time you were really upset?A: My oldest makes me wanna snatch her up most days. Is a five year old supposed to be that devious?
Q: Have you been in love with anyone?A: I have and I am. Some days he pisses me the hell off but, I still love him dearly.

First of the Month, First of the Week

What I'm wearing - a pin striped suit (top and skirt) with 3 inch sandals
What I'm listening too, right now - The theme to "Foxy Brown" by Willie Hutch (I'm totally feeling "foxy")
What I'm eating - South Beach breakfast wrap (Denver omelet)
What I'm drinking - A thirty-two ounce mug of carb options tea (no calorie water/flavored)
Idea on my mind - Focus on the prize...you're going to be fabulous again before you know it!

So, Thursday afternoon, I went to the nail salon and got the hands done. It was definitely worth the $30 (tip and gel seal included) to get my hands looking good again. Hubby loves it and when I got home, he'd purchased a new ring for my lovely hands. What a sweetheart! I think it's a citrine. It's probably 7 or 8 carats...huge, and gorgeous. I ordered a mystic topaz from eBay that should also be stunning. I love jewelry; fake or real, it doesn't really matter to me. As long as it's beautiful.

After I got home from the nail appointment, we washed cars and got them looking spring-ready. It's amazing the crap that accumulates under one's car seats during the winter. Some items were totally unidentifiable. Ewww! I think we took the weather for granted because my girls were not doing well on Friday. They both had the sniffles and my oldest was coughing and wheezing like crazy. I finally had her sit in my bathroom with the shower on it's hottest setting (for the steam). She was instructed to take a lot of deep breaths. Afterwards, I gave her some proventil and had her rest on the couch. That made a huge difference in how she was feeling. Indy seemed to get over it just as fast as she got it. Wow, the difference in my kids...even in their health.

Saturday, I went grocery shopping for the week. My motivation had returned some and I was gearing up for doing my menus again. That way, there's no way to eat unless you cook. Aside from that, there are only healthy snacks. When my mother-in-law comes to visit, I have a feeling she's going to say, "Ya'll don't have any food," simply because we don't have the things normal people eat like chips, candy, cookies, and pig's feet. (Oh, those probably aren't normal to everyone)

Sunday, I got up and preped our meal for the day - a slow cooked barbecue stew. We went to church, came home (it's amazing how a crockpot can make your house smell so good) and I made breakfast. After which, we all took a nap. It was so nice to get a little extra sleep in. Most times, I try to get things done that I can't get done when the kids are awake. This time, I slept and I was grateful. Once we woke up, I finished preparing the dinner and we sat down to eat. Wonderful! That's one I'll be doing again.

Today, we're in the midst of being "reviewed" by a national agency (hence the pin-stripe suit and heals). My department's meeting is later this afternoon at 3:00. I'll probably get nervous at around 2:50...just before showtime...typical for me.

I hope to get on the elliptical or treadmill tonight. Truly, I don't like working out in the evening, but until Indy is sleeping all the way through, I really don't have a choice. Patience is a virtue, right?

Tagged by rn_buffon

I have don't one of these in a while, so, here goes: (thanks, rn-buffoon) :-)

sIx ThInGs YoU dOnT kNoW aBoUt Me

1. Hmmm. I share pretty much everything that is me on this site but, the fact that I like Barry Manilow and Tom Jones enough to download there music and burn a CD is probably something you don't know.

2. Maybe I've watched t.v. for too long but, I can feel when a television or radio comes on. It could be I'm sensitive to the waves in the air or something. But, I don't have to hear it. I can walk into a home where a t.v. could be on in another room where no one can hear it, and I'll know that it's on. Freaky, I know.

3. I would love to be in the entertainment field, but I fear what it does to people; the corruption, the detachment and the total disolvement of good moral fiber. Very few in the entertainment world can avoid all of this.

4. I've never participated in the use of recreational drugs, specificially weed. In fact, it was offered to me years after high school and college by some older ladies. Weird.

5. I'm envious of how beautiful my children are. I was never beautiful...cute yes, but not beautiful. They are intelligent and striking...their beauty will take them very far in this superficial existence we live in, but the brains will help them understand that there's so much more to having real happiness than that. They are both beautiful inside and out.

6. I'm a bit obsessed with superheroes. The best part about them is that real superheroes are ordinary people doing extraordinary things. Although, I would mind being able to have super strength, use telekinesis or fly. (lol)

Have a great weekend!

Hot!Hot!Hot!

My hubby is looking too good...omigod! I can't even stand it! It's funny 'cause, I never really liked muscular guys when I was single. In fact, I liked 'em kinda lean and extremely tall. My hubby is neither, but I'm definitely warm for his form. Woo! He is too hot! He's down to his last twenty days before the competition and he's gearing up hard.

I remember the last time he trained for a show, about two weeks before, he had to avoid all sugars...all. I'm not just talking refined sugar (white sugar and sugar found in most non-perishable items and snacks), but natural sugar as well. Then, about two or three hours before the show, he adds the sugar back in. This makes him vascular and that's the part that's sort of freaky for me because all the veins sort of jump out at that point. A good thing for bodybuilding, I guess.

Anyway, I can see all of his six pack with no problem, his arms are huge (about 16 or 17 inches round), his back is massive and he's completely leaned out. At competition in 2000, he was carrying somewhere in the neighborhood of 7% bodyfat. Can you imagine? Crazy. He's probably close to that now. I'm really proud of him and my perspective on the sport has completely changed. On top of all that dedication he's putting forth, his mother is here (who he hasn't seen in about two years) so he's doubly focused. He wants her to come to his show. She's sort of old-fashioned...I wonder if she can handle a bunch of mostly naked men parading around the stage in competition gear (basically, a thong). She might pass out. For the record, this is an NGA competition, which means it is only for those who do not take 'roids. Everyone is drug tested before the show. My husband is an advocate of natural health and fitness, not the illusion of health and fitness due to drugs.

The Amazing/Unbelievable/Why Waste your Time Nail Fiasco

If you read one of my past posts, you'll see that I had a semi-day of beauty with my mother for her birthday. I had my nails done (active tips) and a pedicure. Well, I kept the nails because, not only were they gorgeous, but they were also totally manageable. They weren't so long that my typing speed was diminished or I couldn't pick up anything properly. They were great and hubby said they made my hands look so pretty (plus, I think the back scratches were extra nice). Anyway, I thought about keeping them up and getting a fill, but I couldn't arrange time to get back over there without the girls (I didn't want to subject them to the smell of those chemicals, especially the baby). So, I removed them and decided to do them over again myself, when the girls were asleep. Why not give myself a fill? Well, the nail tech used a solar seal and I don't have those so the fill wouldn't have matched.

So Monday night, I get to my favorite everything-you-ever-thought-you-needed-but-really-don't-for-cheap store which happens to carry tips, acrylic powder, liquid, wraps, clippers, top coat and files. I got all of my supplies, than realized I had two cuticle cream kits, so I put one back. That night after putting the girls to bed and fighting with my computer for two hours (never do a system restore...ugh!), I headed back upstairs to make my hands gorgeous again. I glued the tips onto my right-hand then..."Where's my acrylic powder? Dang it. I know I just had it." I began tearing up the house, running back and forth to the car...sure that it had rolled out of the bag and under the seat and, even though I had a flashlight and could see clear back into my trunk, surely I was just missing it. Ugh! Then I grab the receipt and account for my items...damn it! I put back the acrylic powder not the cuticle cream kit. So, I still had two cuticle cream kits (this at 11:30pm..."Ddoesn't the baby wake up in an hour or two for her nightly feeding?" Geeze). So, I ripped of the tips. Man, that hurts like a son of a beeatch! Can't keep 'em on, right? That would look too ghetto...like coming to work with half your braids done. Nah, uh. That's a negatory. So, off to work on Tuesday with shredded nail-hands.

Tuesday night, stopped at Big Lots to see if they have acrylic powder. They do! It's hidden behind about four file packs and some strange looking lipstick. Glad I saw it. Oh, and I need those "hold me in" underpants, since I don't have a waist yet. Oh, and I really need those cotton rounds, and baby soft for the babe, and TGI Friday's Hurricane mix in a bottle and cute faux pearl earrings (you gettin' the idea here?). I get home, get the kids situated, lay out all my stuff to do my nails again. I opened the container where the powder was, just to make sure; "What the hell? Nail fix powder...what's that?!" Obviously not acrylic powder. So, put the kids to bed, throw on some shorts and run to the grocery store. They only have those cheap-ass press-on nails at the grocery store and no longer carry the chemicals. What, you can carry bleach, pinesol and loads of other household products that could make a bomb, but no acrylic powder?! Morons. Oh! Well, Wally world's bound to have some. So, I headed over to Wal-mart and ran inside to see every person of the trailer variety rummaging around with their kids (who should be in bed, or at least, have their shoes on) looking for the next great thing to add to their cars...I mean trailers...I mean homes. Anyway, I get to the nail aisle and all the powders are included in these elaborate kits that cost too much. Don't they just sell the powder separately? Sure they do...with the liquid acrylic...which I already have. Shell out the $6.00 for both (Fie on you, Wal-mart!)

Head home and begin the process. Things are going well, even at 10:30 in the pm. Hubby is watching the House of Reps on t.v. Boring. "Why the hell are you watching this? Put in a movie or something. Geesh!" Eleven thirty in the post mortem, add the top coat and survey my beautiful hands. Not too shabby for wal-mart brand powder. I allow them to dry a bit longer, get ready for bed and go to sleep. Wake up. Survey hands in the evil light of day. "What the hell? What are all these bumps and stuff? Cheap-ass power...dammit!" Head over to wal-mart before school and buy "Nail Be Gone" for $1.83 and some tax. Get to work, fill a bowl and soak one hand while checking email. (this just gets better and better, doesn't it?) Soak other hand (first hand looks like a misshapen mess as the acrylic nails melt into globular knobs on the ends of my finger tips. so sad). Rush to the restroom to scrub hands furiously until knobs are in the sink wasting away down the drain. Pop on plastic press-on nails to save face in front of company at work.

Once home, I commence to biting of the press-on crap that looks so artificial and fake (even though the babe says, "Your nails look pretty, mommy"). Hands return to shredded-nail hands after about an hour of biting. I go and announce to my hubby, "Forget this crap. I'm getting them done." Waiting to hear from hubby when he can watch the girls, so that I can schedule an appointment...

Feeling like me, but not looking like me

I was digging around in my closet for spring-time clothes, gradually getting excited over all the cute stuff I have for this time of year that I love to wear. Then, I realized; my big butt won't be able to get a toe into many of these outfits for weeks. Weeks, I tell you! Ugh! I do not want to buy any clothes in a bigger size because my plan is not to be here for long. I've been working hard and things are happening, but not fast. Sadly, the work is slower because of holiday goodies. My resistance to things sweet has been pitiful of late so, in go the Cadbury candy eggs, jelly beans and chocolate bunnies. Not in excess, mind you, but enough to slow down progress. I've got to get my willpower back. When I have it, it's awesome! I can do anything! I rule the world! I gotta get that back, seriously.

I jogged a bit with my walk last night. I'm a little tender today, but not really sore (I'm sure that's coming). As I jogged (and sorry this is graphic but) the itching and burning of jiggling fat was almost unbearable! I could feel the exact places where too much was deposited: my hips, hamstrings, quads, calves, stomach, back, sides of arms and shoulders. Shoulders, no less! Who has fatty shoulders? Apparently, I do. Ewww! Oh, well. At least I'm doing something about it. I also know what happens and how I look (the final product). Look out halter tops! I'm coming back!

I've been amazed at my hubby's transformation. He's preparing for another bodybuilding show and looks good enough to eat. I didn't even know he could improve from where he was, but I see definition in spades all over. He's getting excited and I've asked him to let me know when he feels he's at his best so that I can take some photos...not just pictures, but kind of artsy. It's really a growing hobby and I've thought about investing money in a really good 35mm. Digitals are okay, but nothing looks as good as a picture developed from a negative. He's a great subject and takes commands well (hmm, what does that say about him?) My oldest is the same way. She takes amazing pictures. I even have a few of him that I want blown up to poster size and framed to put up somewhere in our home. I'm very proud of those pictures.

Nothing else really happening in my life...I'm just trying to get back to "me" as quickly as possible. We hope to get an air-conditioner installed in our home soon. It will bring up the value of our house and make my hubby so happy about not having to go up on the roof and service the swamp cooler. It will also thrill me because those dang things never seem to get cool enough for me. I know there's no humidity here, but it can still get damn hot. Swamp coolers...that's what we got out here in the dessert. They're really a pain in the butt, if you ask me but some people swear by them. I just hope we get the installation done before it gets really hot. This waiting on a friend of a friend to hook us up with a deal may get us into trouble. Hubby may have to get up on the roof in 90 degree heat and you know what they say, black attracts light (and heat). Oh, man!

Happy Anniversary to Me!

Whoa, looking at the last post I seemed pretty desperate and I surely was. All has been rectified (many times over, thank goodness!). Hubby was glad to oblige and I was glad to accept. Yesterday was our 8-year anniversary and the day was absolutely lovely, not because of anything we did, specifically, but from all the wonderful things my hubby conveyed all day. The inside of my anniversary card says this (the little blurb he wrote in):

"My heart, my soul, my life...
I give to you always because
they are meaningless without you."

He pretty much spouted out things like this all day. It was wonderful!

Last Thursday, I celebrated my mother's sixtieth birthday by taking her to the nail salon for a couple hours of pampering. At first, she was resistant to the idea but soon fell right into the groove of things. She loved it! A manicure and pedicure at the same time. Talk about pampering! Afterwards, we were supposed to go to dinner but she wanted to wait until Sunday (yesterday). So, we all went to dinner to celebrate her birthday and our anniversary. The lady picked Applebees as her restaruant of choice. She had the honey grilled salmon (so did hubby). I had the ever fattening beer-battered fish and about a bucket of strawberry lemonades.

The evening was capped off in romantic bliss. We've said that we'll renew our vows at the ten year mark (if we don't put each other out, first) and go on a real honeymoon. Also, it will be the wedding I didn't have...I've already started looking at dresses. Gotta get this baby weight off!

I Need It!

Okay, I'm going to try to keep this at a PG-13 rating but, sometimes I may slip up so bare with me.

So, what do I need exactly? I need to be pounded...hard and long for about three hours. I'm not sure why the horniness has hit me so hard (pun intended) lately but it has and it's making me crazy! I'm totally whoring myself around my husband who is totally digging it but really isn't around much (and when he is, he's either sleeping or making a mad dash to work). I hate the graveyard shift! Hate it! Hate it! Hate it! All I can hope for is that, if the need is still there, he'll be around to do something about it on his days off. Otherwise, I may have to rape a pole or something.

I think it's hormonal...yeah, I really seem to blame everything on hormones but I'm for real on this. I'm about two weeks out from my next TOM (Damn, didn't I just have it?!) and I'm ravenous for the chocolate again. I'm trying not to over do it, but I ended up buying one of those gigantic symphony bars the other day. I did, however, space it out over two days so, that's better than swallowing the whole thing down. I'm also killing the cocktails like there's no tomorrow and yep. I'm still working out through all of this (it's a good thing too, or my ass would be as round as a watermelon). Cocktails of choice (just in case you were wondering)? Bahama Mamas, Strawberry Margaritas, Strawberry Daiquiris, Rum and Cokes and Beach Breeazes. I think I've had at least one a night for the past four nights. So, I'm a raging choco/alchy/sex addict. It's sad, really. All of these appetites are insatiable! Hubby should be thrilled!

Hubby's thing is to "eat out" and I totally appreciate it, really I do. (Okay seriously, I really, really appreciate his talent in this area but sometimes, a girl just wants to be boned, you know what I mean? I'm not talking about a little rolling around, I'm talking about multiple positions top, bottom, upside down whatever for about an hour. Is that too much to ask for? We do the toys and stuff, but I much prefer him (when he's there). Otherwise it's like, "What's that for? You're here!" I've been thinking about the aspects of this that are so ironic. Normally, he's the one climbing the walls and begging like a little girl. Last night, I actually held up my strawberry whatever it was I had and said, "I drink because you won't screw me." He laughed...I just stared at him. I wonder if this is starting to frighten him? lol

The aggravating thing is that he called me, yesterday morning and said,
"Be naked when I get home. We can do it now, then when I get up at 2,we can do it again and then before work, we can do it again."

You're wish is my command, but do you think I got my three times? Hell no. I got 45 minutes in the morning and wishful thinking the rest of the day, hence the drinking comment above.

At any rate, if they could bottle whatever this is I'm dealing with up they'd make mad cash and I could live blissfully off the profits. Viagra would go down in history as a fluke and I would summer at the Hamptons or in a chalet in the south of France. Oh, to dream! Here's to everyone getting what they want, how they want it, when they want it and as often as they want it. I lift my glass of strawberry whatever to you!

Our Lunch Outing and other Musings

Yesterday was our lunch outing with our vendor from Colorado. She was here on separate business, but wanted to lunch with us to discuss current relations. We opted for Romano's Macaroni Grill, which I haven't been to in years. My last visit was for my mother's birthday and she was none too pleased with her birthday tribute. You see, they sing your birthday song to you in Italian; the men sing it for women and the lady singers sing the song to men. Well, the gentelman who was slated to sing to my mother went on break or something, so she got this awful girl who sounded like a strangled cat. I haven't been back since, not because of the singing per se, but more because of the attitude we all had after the experience. It was too bad because the food is really good.

During our lunch date, the waiter at this location had the I.Q. of a squirrel. I began my drink order by asking for a shirley temple. Now, most people in the restaruant business have a clue, but this guy looked at me like I was asking for the atomic weight of arsenic.

"Uh, I don' t know what that is."
(What the hell...it's freakin' 7-up and grenadine. What's the problem? )

"It's 7-up and grenadine. Sometimes, bartenders add cherries for presentation," I said, with my best smile.

"7-up?"
(Oh, good God, man. What is the problem?)

"Maybe they don't have Pepsi products here," my co-worker "C" said.

"We have Coke products," says our waiter.

So that I woudn't stress our waiter out anymore than I already had, I asked for a plain Sprite. Geesh! I wonder if I'd had the same sort of difficulty if I'd been there at night and asked for a cocktail of some sort. Yeah, I'll definitely ask for a table not in his area the next time I'm there.

After that bit of drama, our lunch went really well. We talked about work, we talked about our families, we talked a bit about everything. It was really nice. Afterwards, we came back to the office and wished for cots and blankets. Something about Italian food always makes me want to go to sleep. It's comfort food at it's best, I think.

Work ended and I headed up the road to meet hubby and the babe at her school for parent-teacher conference night. The reports were glowing and I knew that we had made the best decision for our babe. Her teacher says she's testing well and really bright. She made only one comment about behavior, but let us know that she's really trying to do better. I mentioned the "young" factor and she agreed that it plays into effect for kids.

"Did you know that a boy who has just turned five before the start of the school year is about nine months behind? That's for most boys and they recommend that they hold them off until the following year."

The fact that boys were behind wasn't surprising...the nine month part was what threw me for a loop. We ended with discussions of reading and phonics, number counting and her working on things at home (which we're doing and will continue to do). I was very pleased. I hope things continue on the positive front that they're on. Meanwhile, I'm starting to fret about the move my in-laws are making. They will be moving to a town about fifteen minutes north. This means that I will have to get everyone up earlier, in order to get the babe to their new house and me on my way to work on time. Ughh!

Our First Date

...well, since the baby was born, anyway. Hubby and I went out alone on Saturday night; dinner and a movie. It was so weird! My neighbor kept both girls. Then, hubby and I drove around for a bit, trying to figure out what we were going to get into. We decided on dinner at Red Lobster. I had the stuffed flounder, while he opted for the blackened catfish. Unfortunately, his was totally tasteless. I felt bad but, what can you do? It's pretty much not worth sending anything back these days. People can get downright nasty in the kitchen.

We both had Bahama Mamas, made with Captain morgan spiced rum. Yum! Then, we went to see V for Vendetta. It was much better than I thought it was going to be. I was ready to wait for its release on video, but I'm so glad I saw it on the big screen. I was not familiar with this super hero of DC Comics but it was a very intriguing story. It's dark, so I wouldn't recommend it to those who like the happier kind of comics.

After the movie, we hurried home to get the girls. A storm was coming in and the wind was blowing about 60 mph. It was crazy! Really warm winds, which indicate major precipitation. The next morning, our yard was covered...about 4 inches. Thankfully, the streets were clear. The day warmed up quickly so by lunchtime, the snow was gone.

Too bad Sunday wasn't as fun as Saturday. After church, hubby and I got into it and that pretty much ruined the day. Things aren't great today, but at least we're talking again. It's not even worth going into why we got into it because it was so stupid and petty. Oh, well. I can only hope our stubborn streaks reside enough for us to enjoy the rest of his time off (tonight). He goes back to work tomorrow night. I hate losing days with him on his days off. It's happened before.

I've been working from home today. I'm happy that it hasn't been too busy. We have a lunch date with one of our vendors tomorrow. I hope we go somewhere good or, at least, somewhere I can stay on my plan but still enjoy myself. Which reminds me; I've got to find time to work out today.

Hubby took the babe to see Curious George. I don't know why he didn't take her over the weekend or save it for next weekend. My hope is to always reward good behavior and I think it's always best to wait and see how she's going to do in school before promising a reward. I just don't want things to go back to the way they were. I hope she did well, today. He picked her up so, I didn't hear the daily report. Tomorrow is teacher conference day and I'm really praying we get a good report...I just don't think I can handle anymore bad news.

The baby had a fit, of sorts this afternoon. She cried for a half hour straight, after being fed and changed. Okay, so it was more like wailing. Holding her didn't even make her feel better. Finally, I put her in her swing and let her cry herself out. It worked! She's still swinging after an hour. I'm glad I found something to calm her bad addled nerves. She was so upset, poor thing. Now, she's sleeping...well, like a baby.

Indy's Second Well-Baby Visit

(For workout info, see my other blog. I'm trying to keep up with both. We'll see how long it lasts)

Indy's second visit to the doc went well, until she got a really clear view of him. I don't know what happened but, one minute she was smiling and laughing it up, the next minute (I shifted her to my right arm, so the doctor could look directly at her), she was screaming at the top of her lungs. Poor, baby. She was crying so hard that her entire face went red and blotchy. She was really upset. Once he finished examining her, I gave her loves and tried to calm her down. It took a good 6 or 7 minutes before she nestled in my arms and gave me the "sweet" eyes.

The nurse returned with 4 shots...four! Two pokes in each leg later, my little one was screaming and weepy again. This time, it took very little to calm her. Strange, huh? Well, she quickly went to sleep and slept the entire ride home, then slept at home for about 45 minutes. When she woke, her little head was warm so, I got to play mommy-nurse and gave her her first dose of tylenol ever. She seemed to like the sweet flavor and gave me a smile. That was at five. By eight, I knew the meds had worn off 'cause she was fussy and was favoring her legs. Ugh! If I only I could take them for her. The nurse said she'd probably not be herself for the next couple of days, but after that, she should be fine.

Next visit? Yep. Four more shots. I think I'll send dad, next time. lol

Beware of (too much) Chocolate!

Yesterday, I did something that I don't really (thank, God) make a habit of doing; I ate chocolate all day. It started in the early morn, when I had a piece from my secret stash in my office drawer. Then, I went downstairs to talk to coworkers who had a huge candy dish full of caramel chocolates. I grabbed three of those and an all chocolate kit kat, as well as a mini snickers and brought them back to my desk. I snarfed them down within thirty seconds. Then, I remembered I brought some Nestle treasures for my candy dish. Now, my candy dish has always been a source of personal triumph. I keep it full of goodies and resist the temptation of eating from it daily. Well, not yesterday. Four treasures later, I was looking for more chocolate. Granted, TOM is here but, that's just ridiculous!

So, by the time I got home, I was really feeling down...majorly depressed, down. So down, my husband couldn't even lift my spirits. It wasn't until today that I realized what happened. It's terrible! I can't believe I gorged like that...and it's so bad for you (and not exactly good for the goal I've set of ten pounds by Easter). Thankfully, I learned my lesson. I will not do that again. It sent my sugar levels all over the place, hence the depression, and the constant sugar had me wanting more when I got home. My body was actually begging for it. Actually, it was begging for the "happy feeling" the sugar was giving me...the false, happy feeling I should say. Thankfully, I didn't indulge. It wasn't because I didn't want to, it was simply because there is no sugar like that in my house. I'm glad otherwise, it just would have made things even worse.

My daughter didn't have a stellar day at school yesterday either. A little time in the power chair and she was grounded for the evening. She was so upset, but I reminded her that the time she has at home to do what she likes is an incentive to remain "kosher" at school. Do the right thing there, and you keep your privileges. Mess up, and it's lock-down time for you. I reiterated the point again this morning, on our way to my sister-in-law's house. I hope she remembers today...I really hate punishing her, but I know it's necessary.

Today was much better. I had a good breakfast and went to lunch with friends for a girlfriend's birthday. I had Lo Mein with tofu and water to drink. I'm so glad that I saw the light and didn't go overboard like yesterday. It's still flooring me that I did that!

Tonight is dance night, so I'll pick up the girls, swing home to get the babe dressed, then it's back out for the lesson. The other mommies wouldn't really talk to me before. I think they were scared or something (yes, my child is the only one in the entire dance school). I really wonder what these women are thinking..."Will that black lady who brings her child to dance try to rob me while we're here?" or "Oh, look at how they wear their hair. They must live in Ogden," or "I wonder if they have some sort of scholarship program here...maybe that's how her child was able to dance." Who the heck knows, but I just got the whole we're-too-snooty vibe for the longest. Then, after I had the baby, dad had to take the babe to class and sometimes grandma. By the time I was back to taking her, they were talking to me like we were all old friends. What the heck? At any rate, I'm glad they don't appear to be scared anymore. In fact, a couple of the moms and I really get along well! Stereotypes, I gotta tell yah. What a hinderance they can be!

This is what I call my busy night because I really don't get an opportunity to sit down and take it easy until close to 7:00, but it's definitley a sacrifice I'm willing to make. Lord help me if she ever takes an interest in anything else. I'm thinking the tween, preteen and teen years will have us wishing we had extra jobs. Kids, man...kids.

Spring is Roaring Like a Lion

We got several inches of snow on the first day of spring. It snowed and snowed and snowed. Then, at around 11ish, I took a look outside of my back window and could see the sidewalk around our "would be" porch. A couple of hours later, half of our yard was visible. By the end of the day, most of the snow (even the stuff that had been out there for a few days) had melted. They keep saying we'll have our 60 degree days again by Saturday, but I dunno. For the past few Sundays, we've gotten more than our share of the white stuff. Granted, it's the good kind of white stuff that melts quickly, but it's still more white stuff than I want in the middle (excuse me) latter part of March. Man, where did March go, anyway?

I need to walk on my treadmill. I need to do my toning tapes. I was shaking my fist in the air (I can't remember why, now. It was in excitement, not anger) and my forearm was jiggling. My forearm, dammit...ugh! What the heck is that about? Yeah, it's all about the weights...even if I'm just sitting on the bed talking to the baby or something. I can't take much more of this. Hubby's schedule is out of control and Indy is still so little and so needy, it's been hard finding the time. I'm proud of the fact that I am so motivated to get back at it because, Lord knows I could have cared less with my first rebound from pregnancy. This time, it's because I totally know what I'm missing.

Like sex (I know, TMI), when you're pregnant, your options become more and more limited the bigger you get. Then, when you get the green light from the doctor that everything is okay, your racing to get back to the "good" stuff cause you totally know what you were missing. It's very similar with my working out. True, I know how horrible it's going to be at first; the discomfort, the fighting with myself over whether or not I should work this day or that, the excuses, etc... but I know that when I get back to my groove, it will be so good! Things will start to tighten up, my mood will elevate, my energy will return and, who knows, I may even see some rendering of a waistline again. I'm really and truly ready. Hubby says tonight he'll watch the girls but then, what about dinner? I'm trying to make our meals every night again. It's so much healthier for everyone and we have leftovers for work meals and stuff. It was great last week and I don't want to loose my momentum. Ugh! It can't ever be easy, can it. Anything worthwhile never is, I guess.

As for everything else, Hubby still hasn't given me (or entered) his bank statements or his receipts. I've seen them, piling up into a huge mass on the kitchen counter but that's been the end result so far. He says he wants me to wake him one hour earlier tonight so that he can get the information in and we can start discussing a budget and how we want to consolidate. Meanwhile, I borrowed against my 403b to provide us with the cushioning they say you're suppose to have, in case of an emergency (something outside of the budget, but a definite need). The payments are totally reasonable and something I can handle myself after we consolidate everything else. It sounds like more debt, but it really isn't.

The babe went on her first field trip last week to a museum and her teacher told my brother-in-law that she did very well. I hope this continues because it's so hard grounding her all the time. I hope the "click" happens soon with her memory as well. I'll have to remember all of this when it's Indy's turn...five year olds can't remember a thing!

Now, what was I doing? Oh, work...work, that's right...work.

Yesterday, I saw Grass in my Backyard

Freaky weather is the other name March should have. We've had a whole gambit of it! A few weeks of 60 degree, near perfect weather turned into a blizzard almost overnight. Yesterday, before church, I let the dog out and could see the brown in are backyard becoming green again. I thought, "Hey, spring is near. Hallelujah!" Then, as if a switch had been flipped during service, we left the building to buckets and buckets of snow...I'm talking inches being dumped at a time within minutes. We ran to the car and as we sat inside, watched as snow quickly recovered my windows just as fast as hubby brushed the snow off. It was nuts!

It took us about 40 minutes to get home in white-out conditions. Both hubby and I were hoped up on coffee, so we kept on chatting and chatting, which made me more and more nervous (I didn't get a lot of sleep and neither did he, hence the coffee. Neither of us drinks it much.) Thank God we got home safely! After the conditions we had, it's no wonder we had this many accidents.

We've (hubby and I) have been working on constructing the family budget. Interestingly, I'm the one more focused about it and it was his idea. He keeps stalling on giving me the receipts and stuff...we'll, maybe not stalling. Maybe he's just afraid of what the computer is going to spit back at us, once it tallies up our monthly expenses. He may find that he only gets a $3.oo entertainment budget or something...who knows. I keep pestering him and he says he'll give me the remaining stuff today, since many of the checks he wrote last week will have cleared. We'll see. We've also been talking about our vacation this year, since I still have those freebee round-trip tickets I have to take before September. We're not sure what we want to do, but we know we're going to take the girls. Wow! Indy's first trip and she's not even a year!

Quality time is limited again and I can see it's having an effect on both of us. I'm glad his three days off are coming up but, it also depresses me a little because they always go so fast. I look forward to the time when we can nitch out days to be with each other that are not dependent on work or schedules. I guess we'll be retired by then...

School is going okay for the babe, but I think her new teacher has "stuff" she wants to talk to me and hubby about. On the babe's first day, she said that she would be calling us at the end of their term to discuss our babe's academic level. She would have to have her in class for a bit before she would be able to tell, which makes sense. I had to call Friday to find out about an upcoming field trip, but she wasn't available. When she called back, the babe answered the phone. When she handed me the receiver, her teacher was giggling a bit and she said something like the babe was a character or something (I didn't quite get what she said), but then she said, I'll schedule time to talk to you. Dang it! Why does it feel like going to the Principal's office, even when it's not you? Does that feeling ever go away? It seems so stupid to get apprehensive, but I am. We've been through so much with her. I just want things to be okay.

Back on the weight-loss band wagon...seriously! When I returned to work, everyone brought stuff for a pot-luck for me. Hard to watch what to eat when people have brought food in your honor. Then, I was asked to lunch with friends. I was good and didn't order anything crazy, but a lot of damage from the first day had already been done. I resided on working hard at watching things the remainder of the week. Over the weekend, I got organized and came up with a menu for this week (that worked well, the last time I was training/eating right). I'll try to keep this up, if I can. It's so much healthier for, not only me, but the babe as well. This way, I can also maintain her sugar levels so she's not going nuts and losing her mind.

The immediate goal is to try and loose ten pounds by Easter. It's a realistic goal, if I stick to my guns. Hubby is supposed to help with the kids, so that I'll have time to work out. I'm hopeful. I know how much of a difference just a few pounds makes on my short frame. I can't wait until I can get back into all of my clothes!

Back to work...Hormones in Balance

Today was my first day back to work (in the office). I worked from home, yesterday. Wow! I was just looking at the last post and so much has happened since then (especially a calming of the hormones and the disappearance of that pesky postpartum crap that interferes with rational thinking). Can you tell I'm not an emotional person?

So, here's what's up: Hubby and I have been working with our babe on her behavior issues and boy have things changed. I also figured out that the babe challenges people to whom she perceives as timid or not able to "hold their own". She knows she can walk over them...not that it's right, but it's definitely her desire to test her boundaries and see how far she can go. Anyway, she now owns up to her mistakes and issues and does a much better job of listening. Sadly, too much had occurred at her school that we had to move her to our own, neighborhood district (everything happens for a reason, everything happens for a reason, everything happens for a reason...). We had a student conference with the teacher on Wednesday, February 22nd. He let us know that she was on track, completely with her education (letters, numbers, words, math, etc...). Then, we discussed behavior and he told us that if she didn't have "perfect" behavior for the remaining week and a half, she would need to leave (the end of their term and, in their opinion, the best time to make a change). It was pretty final in his voice and the student-teacher was non-vocal most of the meeting.

I'm not one to throw down the race-card and hubby and I looked at all aspects of the situation before we came to this conclusion but, we felt that the student-teacher had pretty much washed her hands of our little one. And, she looked at me like she was terrified the entire time we sat there. We had only talked on the phone and, as I've sad, I speak the King's English. No ebonics here (okay, when I get mad or you know, when I've had too much to drink). She probably thought (after seeing my husband) that he was a big, black man that married a white woman...someone she could potentially deal with. Wrong, lady. Her male teacher (who is married, but totally in denial of his gayness) was trying to be as nice as possible, but we could tell that they wanted my little one gone. I believe now that it wasn't entirely due to behavior stuff (cause after observing some of the kids in her class, she wasn't exactly alone in her antics), but because their classroom was in high demand, over crowded and in need of spaces for kids already in the district. Hence, out with the old, in with the new.

So, after the meeting, hubby and I went to the school where the babe is zoned. The atmosphere was totally different immediately. I believe that the location (a military town) made the difference in how we felt. Upon first inspection, there were children of all colors which immediately put us at ease. They have an understanding of diversity and are, more likely, more accepting. Whatever it was, we felt better. We left with paperwork and turned it in completed a few days later. I then wrote a letter to the babe's school and let them know of her last day. Her daycare manager choked up on the phone...she was truly going to miss our girl. I felt good that she'd made a positive impression on them.

A bit panicked, but not as panicked as I was in my last post (damn those hormones), I began trying to figure out what to do. Then, I put it in God's hands cause, well, this was too big for me. The answer came in the form of an idea. I met with my boss for lunch and discussed the situation with him, just letting him now what was up (after all, she would starting 1/2 day kindergarten 30 miles away on the day I was to return to work). We brainstormed a bit, but didn't come up with anything. Then, I prayed again on the way home. Once there, I whipped out my computer and drafted a proposal; work from home Mondays and Fridays to help keep the momentum of the behavior progress going, while continuing my normal work schedule in the office on Tuesdays, Wednesdays, and Thursdays. This would be for the duration of the school year (beginning of June). I had my hubby look at it and my mother proof it then, praying again, I sent it to my boss. He called Thursday night to say, "Without too much discussion, it was approved." Amen!

The last day for the babe was last Friday and we spent the weekend working on transitioning her into the new location (basically telling her about her new teacher and all the cool friends she was going to make). Monday, she was ready-like-Freddy and was so excited to tell me about her new school at the end of the day. I was so grateful. I keep praying that things will continue to go as well as they are.

Indy is cooing, smiling and laughing now. Her big sister is the one that can get her to laugh on cue. It's so special. Big sis has mellowed out a lot, I think, due to Indy being here. I sure do love my girls. More to come! (Still at work...no more time to type)

Behavior Issues

For the last couple of years, my eldest has had trouble with authority figures...not all of them, but many, specifically teachers. In her daycare/preschool class last year, she constantly challenged her teacher and made her teacher's life more frustrating everyday. We would try and work with the babe at home and things would get better for a day or so, but then would ultimately go back to the way things were. Back then, we were not consistent with our methods. This year, as a Kindergarten student, we weren't aware that there were issues with behavior until the day I got a call from the principal's office, a day after delivering Indy (January 11th). Talk about disheartening! She said the same things her preschool teacher said and that the problems had been occuring all year. My hubby and I were frustrated that no one told us anything and the principal indicated that they felt they had things under control, until then.

So, no we have these behavior contracts that we sign daily when the babe comes home from school. If there have been problems, they are indicated on the contract. Then, we discuss them with her and try to find out why she did them and work to correct it so that it doesn't happen again. We've been pretty consistent with talking to her and reminding her to behave herself, but the punishments have kind of been across the board.

Now, I should say that I never had authority figure troubles as a child. My issue was talking. I just couldn't shut up to save my life. I was always in trouble for talking. I definitley got my share of spankings, but I'm a better person because of it (and, I know how to use my compulsive talking now for "good" instead of "evil"). Anyway, dad believes in whipping out the belt, while I take the grounding route. Both have worked and failed in the past; however, we got another call from the principal today and I've decided things have to change (and they really have to because she will be asked to leave the school, permanently.She's on special transfer and this type of trouble is exactly what they don't want...I even signed a contract when school first started).

I was so upset after the call, I just cried and cried. Hubby was consoling me, but was also stern. We've been working to regain our spritiuality in our marriage and in our family and faith is a big issue for him. He believes mine is stronger, so when he saw it shaken, he was really concerned. Even though he had only been home from work an hour or so (no sleep), I asked him to ride with me into town. I knew I couldn't do it alone. Once there, we talked with the principal and tried to get through to the babe. I lost it again in front of her, and she kept apologizing, but those apologies really don't mean anything anymore. She seemed to sincerely "get it" but, that's how it always is. She gets it for a day, then it's back to the garbage. If she gets kicked out, we're in major trouble! She's in all day school and it's convenient for my work schedule and close enough to my office, where I can get to her. All that will be down the crapper if she keeps messing up.

Hubby told her she was in for it, when we got home. He spanked her and sent her to bed. I was fine with the punishment, but I also think she needs more discussions about the reasons why from us. I think I'll have to turn myself into a child psychologist, for the next two weeks, in hopes of getting through to her. It's just so frustrating! It seems like the more we try, the more we get knocked down. The devil is busy!

Well, hubby is asleep so, I typed him an email in case I forgot to tell him everything when he wakes up. It explains where my "head" was in all of this drama. I'm really hoping we can make major progress because, otherwise, I may have to change jobs. All this, and we may have to move out of state to boot! What should be a quiet and happy time, where I get to know my new daughter, my oldest is stirring it up. For now, all I can do is pray.

"Dear hubby,

You're asleep right now, so I don't want to wake you to tell you this and I'm afraid if I don't get this down now, I'll forget. Today was the day we went to visit "the babe's" principal at school. After getting her phone call, I was very upset and you were right. My faith was totally shaken. After we talked to her and came home, I had a chance to ponder things. I also did a bit of searching on the web (not psych sites, but Biblical sites) to try and understand what's happening with our first born (see the link below). Truly, we are not supposed to spare the rod and spankings are a necessity;however, I think they should also be explained and I'm not sure if we've done a good job at explaining to "the babe", why she is spanked (yes, spankings are for doing things you're not supposed to but, why spankings?). When she wakes up, I will tell her about these scriptures in the Bible. I will also impress upon her that spanking is only allowed by parents. Children are not allowed to spank or hit anyone.

I'm saddened by her behavior, but I am eager to try and make things better. Together, we will work with her to make the next two weeks the best two weeks she's ever had at school (behavior wise). I agree that moving her TV and DVD player downstairs is a good idea. I don't think she is ready for such a responsibility and allowance. I also think we should do what I suggested earlier and limit her t.v. time to just two hours per day (four on weekends). When she limits her t.v. watching, she does much better at school the following day. Meals together at the dinner table are also good because it gives us all an opportunity to talk. We can't really talk about our days or anything else for that matter, when we're eating in front of the t.v. You and I should also remind her of her two week probation period often. She really needs to understand what this behavior has brought upon her. d

Going back to my faith, I feel bad that I let all of this get to me. I believe I took everything very personally, thinking that somehow my parenting is what led "the babe" to her actions. You're right; I did my part but "the babe" made her own choices. The next two weeks are pivotal for me too in that I will be praying that much harder for her to become a better student and for me to become stronger in my faith.

I appreciate your being there with me today, despite being so tired and weary from your night's work. I'm so glad I had your support because, in my state of mind, I don't think I could have exprienced that alone. Her principal was kind and understanding, even though she had every right to rant and rave. I can only imagine how frustrating this is for all of the teachers. I am so blessed and fortunate to have you as my husband and friend...my support system through everything! Thank you, thank you, thank you.

For fear this is turning into a book, I will end but before I do, I want you to know that I think it's worth it...all of it...all of the heartache and disappointment...all of the joy and excitement. Everything involved in parenting, I wouldn't trade it for anything. Although Indy will probably have her share of issues as well, I am glad that I have a partner to work with me through all of them. Thank you again, my love.

Love,

"Enchantress"

Against the Books

It's been quite an adjustment, being the mother of a brand-new baby again. I thought I had a grip on a schedule and that was all blown to hell Monday night. In fact, for the past two nights, Indy has had a bath at 8, fed on a bottle directly after and stayed awake looking at me (getting diaper changes and two more bottles before finally crashing sometime after 11). She then gets up again at 2 and stays awake for an hour, then I have to get up by 5 to take the babe to my mother's house so that she can take her to school. That probably doesn't sound so terrible, but she was going to bed at 10, waking at 2 then again at 4 or 5. That was giving me 6 good hours of sleep. Arrghhh! Thankfully, hubby was home last night and was very supportive during all the turmoil. I did discover somethings last night that I hope will help in the nights to come.

She's been eating about 3 ounces ever two hours or so. Last night, I would have to get up and get another bottle because she would continue to fuss once the three ounces were gone. So, she's really eating about 4 ounces now. Then, I burp her and most times she gives me a good belch, but sometimes, I've got to beat her back for what seems like an eternity until the burp finally comes. Then, sometimes during the burping, she'll explode in her diaper again. It's just been loads of fun, can you tell? She also is not comfortable sleeping on her back (this is where the controversy comes in). Yes, yes. I know. I thoroughly practiced the "Back to Sleep" campaign with my first daughter with complete success. Indy doesn't do very well on her back (or so I discovered last night). She sacks right out on her side. I've got her supported, so that she won't turn, but I know every pediatrician and medical expert would say that I'm a bad mother.

So, I called my mother to get her advice. Years ago when she was a new mom, she placed me and my sister on our bellies (boy, have things changed!). The stats say that, even though this is a comfortable position for babies, it is this reason that may attribute to SIDS. They sleep so heavily that they may not wake up like they should. It's funny, for all the medical expertise, sometimes a mother's common sense and the trials she goes through may win out for the baby's best interest in the end, or so I feel. My mother said that with me, I was on formula for two weeks then the formula was supplemented with rice cereal after that. It was because of this and my happily full tummy that my mother said helped me to sleep through the night so quickly. Nowadays, doctor's don't start talking about solid foods until the fourth month (my mother actually gave my oldest a bit of rice when she was two months. It was Thanksgiving and she didn't want the baby to be jealous. After that, I kept it coming. Her teeth were pretty much in by her fourth month. I can even remember complete strangers commenting on how many teeth she had for so young). Food was introduced, so the body compensated.

I love this little girl to pieces, but it has been really frustrating the past couple of nights. Despite the "no, nos", I'm going to see how this goes. I hope it helps because I only have a few weeks left before she's in daycare. Granted, she'll establish a schedule there, but I'd love to have her going strong on a schedule in the evenings; however, I do understand that life will do whatever it's going to do.

I'll be popping onto this and my "Enchantress"site, now. Today is the first day of trying to be a hot mom again. Go check it out when you have a chance.

My House is My Home

Before and after....Yeah!

















Having a living space again has been extra nice, but having one that's so color-comfortable and arranged so nicely has been a treat. Hubby has added a few extra touches since these pictures were taken on January 13th and I suspect he'll continue to add. It's looking more and more like Vegas is going to happen, so our house has to be "sell" worthy. I've been trying to cope with the thought of being without him for several months and, I gotta say, I'm not happy about it at all. I'm not even sure how we're going to do this because after just a couple of days of being apart from each other, we're dying and making expensive phone calls throughout the day. He wants me and the girls to make frequent visits but I don't like the idea of making that six hour drive by myself with two little kids. If it were just me or me and another driving adult and the kids, that would be fine. I just worry that if something happened to me or to the car, what would my girls do? Flying would be okay sometimes (since SLC and Vegas have lots of commuter flights that are reasonable) but who knows how often will have that opportunity. Money is going to be hoarded and saved for a while, until we can make our new start in that city.

****Okay...blogging weirdness. I had a whole paragraph typed about my hubby calling our former real estate agent about how to prepare our house for selling and it just disappeared. I wish there were an undo button or something in here. Ugh!*****

The baby is getting cuter and cuter by the day. She's also spending more time awake during the daylight hours, which is making her mother most happy. She looks at me with those wide brown eyes as if she has a lot on her mind and a lot to communicate. I think the cooing is coming soon. Oh, the cooing! The second really cool milestone (she's already experienced the first). She's been smiling at me and her daddy and no. It's not gas. These are smiles (mimics) of her parents and grandmother, aunt and big sister. My oldest didn't really smile much until she was in her second month. I think that's pretty typical of babies. Anyway, it's so sweet. Oh, babies.

One last comment (more for documentation and history purposes for me). Because of the reduction, I didn't think I'd be able to breast feed. Or, if I did, I'd have to supplement because of low milk. Well, while in the hospital, the colostrum started to come a little more than I thought it would. Indy was already feeding from a bottle so when I tried to introduce her to my milk source, she wasn't willing to work for it. She just got really frustrated and screamed a lot. Saturday night, my milk came in...I mean, it really came in. I look like a freakin' porn star! My hubby, of course, is loving it and getting more frustrated by the day. Surprisingly, so am I. I didn't expect to have a "drive" at all, but I am so ready. Three more weeks. Good, God! Can I wait that long?!

Anyway, because she's not nursing, doesn't want to nurse, has no interest in nursing, I've been binding my chest. What a pain in the butt! First of all, I hate wearing clothes to bed but, I've had to wear underwear (for obvious reasons) with pads and will continue to do so for probably another couple of weeks. On top of that, I'm wearing sports bras (sometimes two at a time) and a huge ace bandage around my chest. No comfort for me. Then, when I take all this hardware off to shower, I leak everywhere. Who knew! So, for anyone who has had a reduction and is wondering if they'll be able to nurse, don't write it off until the baby is with you and you've tried it for yourself. You may just be surprised like I was.

N.D. "Indy" Has Arrived...Finally!

Well, here she is! I'm not afraid to show a newborn picture because, frankly, newborns look pretty much the same in the first few days but...dang it! I still think she's pretty cute!

So, January 10th was the day to visit the doc for my follow-up. He wanted to recheck my blood pressure and urine, so that's what he did. After doing so, he comes into the exam room and says, "Guess what?" So, of course I say, "What?" and he says, "You're going to have a baby today." I was like, "I am?" Well, my pressure was still too high and my urine protein was at a 4+. He was concerned about my health as well as the baby's, so he called over to the hospital and told them I was coming. Hubby had gone to the check up with me so, he was totally in shock when we left the office to go to the hospital. He thought we'd be there a few minutes, go home then he could sleep off the night's work. This was not to be.

I checked into labor/delivery and they had me hooked up to the pitocin and magnesium by 11:00 am. By 1:25, the contractions were coming hard and my water broke. They gave me my epidural at 2:25 and life felt much better, after that. I went from a 4 to a 6cm, then slowly climbed to an 8 where I didn't progress much after that. The doc comes in and says, "I'm still not happy with the how high she is and I'm worried about your health and hers. The baby has been in this position for a couple of hours and we don't want her to go into stress, so we're going to have to perform a C-section." Yikes! Well, doc knows best so, they preped me and hubby got on his scrubs and matching shower-cap(too cute). They numbed me up again and rolled me to the operating room.

On the table, I was very much awake and very much aware of the tugging and pulling my doctor was doing. It was too freaky! He then says, "Now, I see why she wasn't descending. The umbilical cord is wrapped around her head." Good, Lord! Thankfully, she was okay and the moment he removed her from my belly, I felt elated and sad all at the same time. The weight of her leaving was so surreal and the idea that she was finally with us...I just can't explain it. That was at 6:45pm. The nurses took her to do her apgar score. My mother, sister, daughter and husband all saw her before I did. (I was truly jealous). Meanwhile, I chatted with the doc and the nurses while he sewed me up (that was pretty surreal, too).

So, back in my room I'm asking, "Where's the baby?" and "When can I see the baby?" I got answers like, "Oh, they're bathing her...Oh, they're running tests...Oh, they're dressing her." Finally, at around 9ish, they wheeled her in. So precious! I had no idea that my children would look so different! I just assumed this one would be Hershey dark like her big sister, but she's very fair (like my side of the family). It was magical finally seeing her.

The next day, they still had me connected to the magnesium drip and I also had the catheter (ugh!). The magnesium was infused with pitocin, to shrink my uterus and a morphine - time released pain meds. The pain meds had a horrible side effect; they made me itch and I'm not talking about a little itch here or there, I'm talking about feeling like you want to scratch your skin till it bleeds, itch. Ugh! And, I had to be on it for hours. The nurse offered me benadryl to take the edge of but, to be honest, I was really tired of all the drugs. I just wanted to be off everything or, at least, as much as I could. By 5pm, they disconnected me (thank God) and wheeled me to my new, postpartum room. I finally got to take a shower and freshen brush my teeth (Oh, the little things in life!).

Thursday was my day of visitors. My boss and his wife came and brought me the most precious receiving blanket. Then, my coworker "C" came with another coworker "M" and took pictures of the baby, me with the baby, them with the baby. It was so nice to see friends. My mother and sister also stopped by and had some QT time with Indy.

Friday was a whirlwind of getting organized and checking out. We came home and my house, oh man, my house! My husband gets a platinum star for being the most industrious man ever! It looks wonderful and I couldn't have been more happy to see it not in a state of chaos. (I have pictures I'll post later). Friday night with the babe was rough. She was still on the nursery's schedule, so she got up a lot (about every hour and a half). Saturday night was better and last night was better than that (today is January 16th, despite what the post says). I hope to have her on a more morning friendly "awake" time schedule, but who can tell? Babies will do what they'll do.

So, there's the 20 minute Version of my birth story. There are more details, but I won't go into them. I think I hit the best parts. I'm still sore and on ibu for the pain, but I'm moving around okay. It's weird to look at my stomach (which makes me look like I'm about 4 months along) and know that there isn't a baby in there anymore. Adjusting to that is taking some time. Again,though, I'm sure glad she's here and I'm even more thrilled that she was born safe and healthy.

Red Walls Equal Havoc in my Kitchen

Just a few pictures of my poor, pitiful dining room/kitchen. Will it ever look normal again? Just like my body, I'm beginning to wonder...

From the nursery, my dining room an explosion of crap (notice the Halloween tablecloth...that's so sad).

From the back french doors...more of the explosion.

The back wall of my living room. The color is much richer than the picture shows.

From the garage door entry, this is the wall that separates the living room and the kitchen.

Sleepy Weekend

Saturday, I woke up to hubby licking my face. Ugh! I hate when he does that. You know, I know that we've exchanged body fluids for years and that if anyone were to lick me, it should be him (since he's licked everything else...sorry, TMI) but, I still hate it. Anyway, he was just getting off work and getting dressed in his painter duds, in order to start work on the living room.

I rolled myself into the living room and watched him clear out the majority of the furniture. This included our 3, 6.5ft DVD stands, the coffee table and glass, the 52" t.v., the end tables and lamps and the DVD player. He moved the couch and love seat to the center of the room, then proceeded to wipe down and clean (prep) the walls. This took an hour and a half, then the actual painting began. His friend was over to learn, more than help and hubby seemed happy to have the company.

So, now my living room is Ivory with a beautiful, burgundy accent wall. It really makes the room pop. I love it! I can't wait for him to finish up with the border on top (which he hopes to get done in the next couple of days), but we'll see. There's a lot going on with work and the potential of me giving birth sometime this week. Will it happen? Huh! I just don't even try to guess anymore.

With all the homework going on, hubby and I are trying to figure our our plans for our anniversary, too. We actually celebrate the day we first got together, which was January 11, 1997 (9 years ago). I can't even believe it! It's a sweet story that I don't think I've shared on this blog, but will do so now. If it gets too sappy, feel free to page over.

In the fall of '96, I had placed myself on a self proclaimed man-strike. Why? Because, I was sick of their garbage, sick of their drama, sick of not being able to find one worth anything and just plain sick of men altogether. They were the bane of my existence and I wanted nothing to do with them. Thankfully, I wasn't so disgusted that I had to switch teams, but I have known people to do so. Anyway, the man-strike actually turned out to be wonderful for me. I did a lot of self improvement...I spent a lot more time writing and working on school projects (I was a senior in college, at the time) and more time with my friends and sorority sisters doing all sorts of service projects and good work in the community. One of the nice side-effects to all of this was a ten pound weight loss. I really felt and looked better than I had in a long time (but still wanted nothing to do with men).

Hubby and I had met when school started for me in the fall of '93. We tried to get together then, but I was a very "talkative" freshman, which inevitably destroyed any chance of us possibly getting together. After '94, hubby left school to take care of personal issues. I had friends who knew where he was in Nashville. We even ran into each other a couple of times, but it was the "pleasantly polite" syndrome that made being around him difficult.

One early morning in December of '96, I got a phone call. It was about 3ish and I had an 8:00 class coming up. I was none too happy to get a call this early; however, my mother always insisted that we take phone calls no matter what the time. She always said, "You never know what somebody may need." So, against my better judgment, I picked up the phone. It was him and it was weird and wonderful, all at the same time. He called to tell me that he felt we'd had a connection and, despite all the drama from years past, he still felt like we should have been together. He openend his heart about his feelings for me and how he harbored them for so long. We discussed this and other details about our lives for the next several hours (yep. I missed my class). After this phone call, we made plans to see each other. I would be going home (to Utah) for the Christmas break and he wanted to see me before I left. The night before my departure was total and utter bliss! He made me feel like the most special person on earth. I kept thinking, "Why me?" and "Maybe this is a mistake or a joke or something." But, it wasn't. He truly adored me and because I'd been on the "hate men" cycle for so long, it took a bit for me to absorb what was happening.

We communicated through the holidays...he would call two sometimes three times a day (his long distance bills completely out of control). When I returned from Utah, he had beautiful Christmas gifts for me and (it appeared) a heart full of love. I was still a little jaded, but I started to open up more with each phone call and each visit. On January 10th at around 11:30pm, we were talking on the phone when I broke down my walls and told him I loved him. We celebrate this day as the day we became "a couple". One year and three months later, we were married but we both felt we were ready to marry long before then. I am, however, glad that we waited.

Wednesday is the big day and it's going to be more low-key than in the past, what with the bed rest and all. I'm still excited, regardless. We can truly say that we have history together and both he and I appreciate how far we've come. Even though the road can get ultra rocky, we hold fast to our memories, to our respect for each other and our love. He is still my heart.

Lock-Down

I had my 39-week doctor's appointment, yesterday. I'm still reeling! Thirty-nine weeks! He's put me on bed rest. Below, I've pasted in the note that I sent to my coworkers about the "lock-down" he's put upon me:


Good morning, all!
As you know, I had my 39 week (can you believe that?!) appointment with the doc last night. My appointment was at 4:15 and I was weighed and ushered into a room at about that time. After the nurse took my blood pressure, she was not happy with the results, so took the pressure two additional times to be satisfied. I showed her my "cankles" and described how different they were from a couple of days ago. After the third try, I was still 120/110 (the first time it has been high during this pregnancy).
After my "void" test and another little chat with the nurse, I was sent back to my room to wait for the doc. He appeared shortly thereafter and took a look at my chart, emitting a concerned "Hmmm" as he looked. He then performed his "checks" and then asked me, "So, what are you doing tomorrow?"
"Umm, work and stuff," I said.
"Well, you may be delivering a baby, depending on what we find out about her. But first, I want you to lay on your left side for a few minutes, then I’ll send the nurse back to take your pressure again."
Okay total shock…but, the whale flipped over onto her left side and waited for the nurse like a good mammal. She returned, took my pressure again and sighed with relief – 120/80. "Much better," she said. The doc returned and said that he wanted to do a stress test on the baby. I get dressed and walk down the hall to a room with a Lazy-boy (I kid you not!) and the stress test machine next to it. They strap the monitors on, recline the Lazy-boy and ask me to push a sensor, every time the baby moves. Since the strapped-sensor was not cooperating, my left hand was in charge of holding it on. I looked like a contortionist! So, there I lay for about 45 minutes (anyone want to guess how many times my cell phone rang?).
The doc returns, reads the print out then calmly kneels down to my eye level and says, "Go to bed and lay on your left side. Don’t chase your daughter, don’t run with your dog. Don’t do anything but lay there. I want to see you on Tuesday morning, the earlier the better. At that time, we’ll make an assessment and see what’s happening. We may have to get her sooner rather than later."
His concerns; my blood pressure, a 4 pound weight gain since last week (who knew!) and the fact that she is still "very high". He says that her position takes the likelihood of a C-section way up. So, we’d have to induce and try to get her moving, if she’s not showing a "move south" by Tuesday.
So, it seems yesterday was the last time I will see you guys for a while, dang it! I was ready for Pei Wei! J I will be online (that, I can do) today, Monday and (hopefully) Tuesday afternoon. Of course, I will keep you posted on the news and what’s happening with ******. Thank you all for your support through all of this. You don’t know how much I appreciate it! (Sending big bear hugs through cyberspace). Please don’t hesitate to call, email or IM me. I’ll be here.
Thanks a heap and enjoy your weekend!

So, I suspect I'll start getting messages in the next little bit (it's not quite 8:00 here, and that's about when people start coming into work). I sent my note at the 5:30 hour, already having been online for an hour. I know. I must be out of my mind! I'm not exactly obeying doctor's orders, since I took my little one to my mother's this morning. Hey, she had to get to school somehow.

It's sort of weird thinking about the possibility of the baby coming next week. What day will it be? Will her birth story be as exciting as her sister's? (Hopefully exciting, without the sickness drama) When will it happen? Will it be a morning, afternoon or evening birth? Will she look like me or her daddy? Will she be an easy child to raise or will she cry continuously? How will our lives change, once she's here? I'm really excited but I won't get nervous until showtime (that's usually how things work for me).

Hubby was so sweet, yesterday. He stalked me until I answered the phone (I had not had an opportunity to tell him why my appointment ran from 4:15 to 6:00). He purchased fixings for soup and sandwiches, along with a lovely bouquet of flowers he and the babe picked up for me as well. He's gotten refocused on the painting again, now that it appears the baby may make her appearance next week (and not in June, as I predicted). I hope it's all done, dry and my furniture back in place before she gets here. I'd like to welcome her to our home, not our tornado disaster. We're so anxious to see her!

Happy New Year!

...and I'm still pregnant. No luck on having the New Year's baby and getting all the free stuff, dang it. Would have been nice, but no dice. Instead, my hubby and I watched the ball drop (as we've done since we got together in '97) then had our new year's kiss. He said, "Man, we're like an old couple," well, yeah, but there's something to be said about time and consistency. It was all very sweet.

We stayed up watching a bit of t.v. and listening to the ruckus outside (fireworks and such). The cop who lives across the street turned on their patrol car lights and sirens, once the clock ticked over. That was interesting. At around 2 ish, we retired to the bedroom and followed through with another tradition...woohoo! I'm almost to my tenth month of pregnancy and still have no problem with my libido (just my variety). When you're nearly 40 pounds over your normal weight (with most of it being in one place), it makes for limited creativity in the bedroom. I will say, at the sake of TMI, I was glad to have his "boys". It's supposed to encourage labor. We'll see...

So, I've had consistent contractions again this morning (since around 4:30ish). They're a bit different, but I'm afraid to do anything really until I know for sure. I'm so tired of "fall alarms", you know? They're more intense and I'm feeling them in my back as well as in my front. Again, I'm not saying a damn thing until I feel like I gotta crawl to get from place to place. To pass the time, I've been working to try and keep my mind off the discomfort. I just get so tired of not knowing what's real. So, time will tell.

Before New Year's, hubby went to his friends for a party (the evening of the 30th). Remember, this was his time to get "trashed" and let loose. Okay, I can respect that. So, I didn't wait up for him per se, but since I'm up every hour anyway, I was kind of hoping he would drag himself home really early and sleep out the remainder of his morning at home. By the time I was really ready to awaken (8:3o...totally late for me), no hubby. I called his cell...nothing. I waited an hour, then called again...nothing. Waited a half hour, called again. This time, I left a message. Another half hour, left another message. After that, me and the babe got dressed and went to the mall. (For some reason, this child loves the mall). I wanted to get out of the house before I went crazy with worry. I also wanted to give the babe an outing of some sort, since her daddy had promised to take she and I to the movies that afternoon.

So, off to the mall we went, walking around only for about half an hour before she said, "Okay, mommy. Can we go now?" We went to our favorite, Chinese buffet and had lunch together. As we sat there, she eyed something behind me on the wall and said, "Mommy, what's that green and white thing on the wall over there?" Honestly, I didn't see what she was talking about and gave her a blank, "I don't know, honey." She says (really trying to figure it out), "You see it, mommy? It's right there, next to the Budda." Huh? How in the world did she know Budda? "You know Budda," I ask her. "Yes. If you touch the Budda, he will make you strong and give you power." Well, who knew! I probed a bit more and learned that they studied him a bit in class. I was so happy that she was made aware, if only to understand that there are other religions and she should be respectful of them.

After lunch, we came home and got ready for our nap but before I put her down, I tried hubby one more time. He answered. I was pissed! I let him have it until the phone died about two minutes later. Basically, my beef was with the fact that he didn't call or anything to check on me. Your wife is one hundred months pregnant? You check on her ass - end of discussion. He claimed that the phone died, but I claimed that there are other phones besides cell phones. Find a freakin' land line, man!

I hate that when I get upset and angry, I cry. I don't want to come off like I'm weak and I always feel that's how it appears. I went downstairs to bawl some more, when he came home shortly thereafter. He apologized for being a big an ass and not calling and admitted that there was no excuse. He said that he would wake up and hear his boys laughing (probably at his snoring), the pass out again. By the time he was really awake, he went to get the phone and there were no cells on the battery. (Again, we do still have access to phones that are grounded by wires and trunk lines) We talked more then adjourned upstairs to our room, where he cuddled with me for about an hour. Sometimes, all you need is a little love to put out the fire. He then made good on his promise and took me and the babe to see King Kong. Awesome!