Is Blood Thicker than Water?

There's a lot of drama happening with my extended family (and a bit with me) presently. So much so that it has tensions raised high in my household. I think I'll be needing an intervention, soon...well, mental intervention. With everything that's going on, I've actually left the wine/spirits alone. Amazing!

My sister-in-law (my hubby's sister, who is in her late thirties) has been going through some incredibly trying times. Not only did they lose their mother this past January, but her husband was brought up on an arms charge in February. He is now incarcerated. She will find out for how long in May. This man has lots of kids (he's in his late fifties). Most of them are grown up and living their own lives; however, the two youngest (a boy and a girl) live with he and my sister-in-law. They are her step children, but she is the only mother they have ever known. The young boy has lots of issues and even more so, now that his father is out of the picture. He spends his lunches with the principal of the school and has been tested for a number of learning issues. He has also exhibited violence towards his teacher (he is in the second grade).

His older sister, who is one year older, has been "handling" his departure pretty well, but her mother opted for counseling for her. She and my eldest are the same age and have a great time together.

Recently, my nephew admitted to lying and theft, which was just another stress added to the pile. His mother "disciplined" him with a belt, and he showed up at school with the evidence. When she arrived home and asked her sister (who is visiting from Missouri) about the kids, she indicated that they did not come home. My sister-in-law arrived at school to find the kids there with the principal, the teacher and an officer. My nephew was removed from the home that night. A couple of sleepless days and nights later, the state removed her daughter. Their mother has been ordered to attend parenting classes along with anger management. Whenever she is evaluated again, she may be able to get her kids back.

Without directly asking us, she believed we (family members) could take the kids for the up-to-six-months time frame they are usually removed. Hubby and I talked and, with our own issues, just couldn't see bringing in those children. Our schedules alone would have prevented it and summer is nearly here (we pay for summer daycare for our kids two days per week). When hubby went to talk to her to explain why we couldn't, he was met with silence and dissension. He knew things were different.

I asked him if he thought things would be different if they were blood relatives, and he said that it doesn't matter. They are still our family. We are just not in a position to take on this tremendous favor. As I thought about it, we provided so much for her in the past. She lived with us for over a year, then her then boyfriend lived with us (which I wasn't too thrilled about). We provided after school care, when we discovered they were at home alone until she got home from work. We really didn't have to do any of those things. I hope my hubby realizes this soon and gets control of his frustration and anger. She has to come to this realization as well. If the reverse had happened (heaven forbid!) she wouldn't be able to take on my children. Her situation wouldn't allow for it either. It's been a harrowing past few days.