Baby Doing Better

I took little Indy to the doctor, yesterday morning and sat for an hour before a doctor (not her pediatrician) came in to see us. She was in good spirits so, I'm glad he could examine without her getting too upset. Turns out my little girl has a hemorrhoid which is a direct result from constipation she experienced last week. Poor little thing! I bet it's been driving her crazy, which explains why she's been so needy as of late. She was prescribed a cream, then we left to get the prescription filled. I was so relieved that it was something we could treat ourselves and that she hadn't fallen prey to some horrible body upset that would require hospitalization.

Relief came all at once, after we got home, ate lunch and settled down. I drifted off to sleep...no longer fretting about the health of my youngest. I was glad to cuddle with Indy and here her soft, consistent breathing as we went to sleep. It reminded me of our second day in the hospital, after she was born. I put my newborn in the crook of my arm and we drifted off. I probably terrified the nurses, but this became a normal occurrence for the few days we were there.

The rest of the day, I spent fussing at my hubby for random things. I'm starting to PMS and things just sort of "come out" when I'm talking. Nothing brash, but he was quite eager to get to the gym after the tongue lashing I was giving him. By the time he came home, I had worked out, showered and was feeling much better about life. We ended up watching some of Prestige and held hands just before we turned off the movie to go to sleep.

Did you know that Mercury is in retrograde right now? I'll be all too pleased when it's over. The fact that it seems to intensify my PMS moments is enough to chant for it's disappearance altogether. Everyone in my area of the office brings it up at least twice a day. Talk about educating the masses!

Worrying About my Baby

The weekend was just as I predicted: boring. Saturday, I took the girls to the high school for the "free" thing and the oldest enjoyed herself tremendously. Lots of crafts to try and foods to eat. She even got three rub on tattoos...why she decided they would look the best on her face is beyond me. She spent the evening scratching and scrubbing them off since I did not want to go to church with a tattoo face covered child. Later in the day, Indy and the babe became quite needy and on more than one occasion, I threatened to run away from home if they didn't quit working my nerves.

By the time hubby arrived, I was frazzled. I fussed at the babe a lot about garbage overflowing from her trash can and her bathroom looking generally unusable in it's state of grossness. "Your bathroom is the guest bathroom, so you have to make sure it stays tidy and clean." It was like talking to a wall at first, but then she fixed the situation. After tucking the children in, I came into my bedroom to find a cocktail waiting for me and a piece of paper pointing to said drink with the word "RELAX" in all caps on it. I took the libation happily.

Sunday was a bit better, since after church we all got a taste of nap time. (Usually, one of the kids is asleep while another is awake, so we never get to crash together). Yesterday was a nice change. When hubby got home, the kids were awake and he quickly got them set up with an afternoon snack, hoping to join me in our bedroom for some alone time. The toddler made sure that didn't happen by appearing every few minutes with a toy or piece of her snack to share with her parents. If she weren't so cute, I would have put her out.

By evening (and before the Oscars, which were fabulous), I changed Indy and noticed something I noticed on Saturday; a growth of sorts. I showed hubby and we discussed his taking her to the doctor's sometime this week, since it seems I never get a full week of work in the office anymore. Someone's always sick or needs to be picked up. The guilt level is rising substantially.

Anyway, I decided to check WebMD for possibilities of what it might be. Usually, this clears my mind, but it only succeeded in worrying more. Cystic Fibrosis, prolapsed rectum, polyps and cancer...all terms that a appeared when I performed my search. I discussed the issues with hubby as they came up and I thought I was doing okay, until I tried to turn off my mind and go to sleep. I ended up watching L.A. Confidential on the new CW until 1:00am. I just couldn't shut off. I did a lot of praying but I just couldn't let go of old memories.

My first daughter was sickly and spent a week in the hospital with RSV when she was a baby. I remember wishing for the disease...bargaining and begging for it with every ounce of my being. Anything to avoid seeing her the way she was...barely breathing, swimming in mucous and under constant watch by me and the nurses. My only consolation was that the attending doctor for the children's hospital was her very own pediatrician. Still, I was a basket case and went home crying every night.

I love being a mom, but it is definitely a difficult position to hold. Indy had a light fever last night and I wonder if the neediness is due to this newest development. I ended up calling in last night to my boss, through tears, informing him of my intent to try and schedule an appointment with her doctor to relieve my concerns. If I can't get an appointment with him, I will go to emergency care. I couldn't bear to think that I prolonged something major because of an inconvenience to schedule. I cope by thinking the worse, in order to be relieved if the best of news arrives; however, coping is a bitch and it's probably giving me an ulcer.

The Calm Before the Storm

We had 60 degree weather here, yesterday. Absolutely gorgeous! My coworker wore her espadrilles in celebration of the spring-like day. I wish I'd thought to wear something spring-like...oh, wait. I can't wear any of my spring-like attire, just yet. She looked awfully cute, though. We all enjoyed the day as much as we could, acutely realizing the storm was fast approaching. By the time I got home last night, the clouds had slunk in...dark and looming over the city.

This morning, I awoke to my precious Jump Start not available by my dish service. This told me the snow had arrived and was effectively covering our dish making it impossible for my normal morning shows to get through. I guess dish companies work extra hard to push the local networks through or use different services to keep those channels alive. My local Fox news and weather is currently playing with all the updates of the storm and the commute we'll all be forced to endure. I'm also forced to endure the morning repeats on the news, which is why I typically schedule only an hour or so of news programming.

The weekend will be filled with a lot of the same...snow, snow, snow. I can deal for a while, but I will be ordering up the spring-like weather again very soon. That extra light was encouraging my spring fever and I was totally digging it.

I'll be taking my girls to a local high school for a "free day" of fun and games they've planned for the kids. We got our days mixed up and went out there last Saturday, only to discover a very empty parking lot and lots of locked doors. I hope she enjoys herself and that it really is free (you know how that goes). Other than that, there are no real plans for the weekend. Hubby will be working and I'll have the girls here with me, hanging out at the house. It sounds so boring but perhaps it's what we need. I could take the blouse my sister gave me for Christmas and finally have the ink tag removed (it's been in my trunk the entire time). It's really beautiful...a Kimono style wrap with lots of vibrant reds and blacks, but it's too small just yet. I hope to be able to sport it by late March or early April. She's the only person who bought me clothes for Christmas this year.

Maybe this is the weekend hubby and I can reinvent and be a little adventurous (as adventurous as one can be on a schedule like his). Perhaps I can scheme in my free time today at work.

Time for Experimentation

Hubby and I were talking the other night about how there were rooms in our home that still have yet to be "christened". Then, we talked about all the unusual places we've made love. Sadly, there weren't many. So, we've been talking about being more adventurous in our sexual endeavors. This may prove difficult with two small children but, I'm willing to try if he is.

This made me think about all the ways people enjoy pleasure and the almost surreal levels people will go to, to obtain it in strange and unique ways. When I was about fourteen or fifteen, I started mail ordering items...specifically jewelry from a place called Merlite. They have a website now (or at least, they did), but back then, they mailed a catalog to my home that I would peruse for hours...finally deciding on some fabulous piece of costume jewelry to order.

If you're old enough to remember ordering through the mail, then you must remember those pesky mailing lists companies would add you to just as soon as they saw the traffic of purchases with your address and name. I ended up on all sorts of lists. From catalogs that sold pet supplies to others that sold make-up and clothing. One day, I got a catalog covered in brown paper. My fifteen year old butt was about to be exposed to porn.

And it didn't stop with that one. I had catalogs that sold "equipment" for your home, others that could tailor your wedding in latex and still others that dealt in freak porn. Yikes! My favorite was the men's underwear catalog where all the guys were...well, extremely well equipped. My girlfriends and I got a kick out of that one. God bless the person who thought it a great idea to market underwear with a model getting drenched by a waterfall. Sheer poetry!

Now that I live in the state of prudeness, no such catalogs are sent to my home anymore. With the talk of experimentation, I wondered if such catalogs are still mailed to people or if you just hop on the Internet now and choose your kinky site of choice. I'm honestly not looking, just curious about the state of things in that area now. Do people still swing from their ceilings and have latex weddings? It's fascinating stuff, truly.

I usually checked the mail, but I wonder if my parents ever questioned why I got all that stuff. I can remember that they would put the mail on my bed and there would possibly be a catalog or two in the mix. I was and still am a "good" girl, so I guess they didn't worry about it too much. If the same were to happen to my own daughter, I'm not sure how I'd react. The mediums are different. She wouldn't be exposed by catalog and we have parental control on our computer. I suppose someone could potentially show her something at school someday. Wow. She's already so curious and wanting to question everything. I think I'm free associating more than anything today...just the random stuff on my mind.

What Happened to my Early Spring?

For days we've had temps in the 50's and yesterday, we got as high as 60. Sixty in February! It was so beautiful (but I didn't get to get out and enjoy it like I would have liked to). So, this morning...what do we wake up to? Snow. Buckets and Buckets of snow. Granted, the weather guy says it will taper off by mid morning and we'll get up to 43 but, what happened to my would-be spring weather? Those who happen to be traveling to work or where ever today are not going to enjoy the commute.



Meanwhile, they're also talking on the news about the guy in Australia who just beat the Guinness World Record of head-butting watermelons for the watermelon festival. Man,can we have a little watermelon, please? I'm so over winter, now. Seriously, I've had enough. I'm ready for the sun to return full blast so I can retire the coats and jackets, sweat pants and dark colored everythings. Pastels! Tank tops! Summer dresses! Come out of hiding and be seen. We're waiting for you.

I think I'm more excited about spring this year because for one, I won't be pregnant and two, I won't have to hoist around 24 extra pounds (I'm speaking of Indy, not my unfortunate weight gain)...although I hope to be rid of that, too. Indy is walking pretty well and I imagine, by April, will not need me to carry her for any reason, other than to help her into high chairs and car seats. She's so cute toddling around, learning how to get her bearings. There are so many things I've forgotten about these formative years. Seems like the babe has been grown up forever!

Last but not least, are you feeling generous? Want to help an important cause and gain a sweet reward in the process (besides the wonderful feeling anyone gains from helping others) check out the information here. Hurry! This opportunity only occurs February 20th from 7:00am-10:00am.

Hair Raising Event

After GC's comment, I remembered that I've never posted pictures of "the hair" on this site so, here it is before I chop it all off. Yep! I'm close to the two-month mark, which is as long as I care to keep a braided style, these days. I'm going on a break and back to my ponies and falls for a bit (well, at least until April). My mom is coming over to put my relaxer back in and I'm not sure how I feel about that, yet. Underneath the braids, I am all natural again...ten foot fro and amazing strength. I wish I was brave enough to wear it natural, but it's never really been me.

So, off come the braids this weekend for me and the babe (she currently sports the same style I do). If I were a better beautician, she could go another month; however, I'm just not as good as those who are licensed. Hers have to come out every four weeks, or it's not a good scene. I think she'll be pleased with what I do to it this time around. It's all braids...very small...braided all the way, straight as a board. She hasn't had straight for about a year, so I'm thinking the new look will please her.

All hair aside, I'm feeling the effects of the antibiotics and decongestant big time. I can breathe at night and I no longer feel like I'm swimming in a pool of phlegm (lovely). I'm even enjoying my "tumble" sessions with hubby again (it's so hard to feel romantic and sexy when only one nostril is working). Whispering sweet nothings or even dirty talk, sounds like it should be coming from a Muppet rather than a human. Oh, so sad. Although, it really doesn't seem to matter to him. I guess I egged on last night session anyway...telling him he owed me and that he needed to service his wife. All I remember is waking up to his kisses...ahhhh.

I had sort of a fun dream last night. I dreamed that I went to my 20th high school reunion (which actually won't happen for a few years yet), but there I was. Hubby was on my arm and I saw people I haven't seen in years. There were plenty of faces in the dream of people that I had contact with in high school and my brain amazingly aged them effectively, but I couldn't remember their names. A few people were there to pose and I did what I would expect myself to do in that situation...I avoided them. Those who were there to reconnect and have fun were the people I hung out with the most. There was also a girl there who was severely disabled. I remembered her, but in school she had no physical problems. It appears that she was suffering with MS because she walked into the room on her own just fine and then progressively through the evening had problems standing on her own.

By the time they were making announcements and she had to venture up front, me and another lady supported her weight as we carried her to the podium. It was quite odd. At the end of the evening, a dear friend of mine arrived late and went around the room shaking hands with the guys, and kissing the ladies on their cheeks. He had gone completely silver, but had lost a ton of weight. We were all happy to see him. Through all of this, I remember being very proud and happy my hubby was with me (also going a little silver himself) and seeing all the women looking at us just amazed. Then I realized, I looked pretty good...even better with the eye-candy on my arm. Oh, dreams. Sometimes you just hope and wish and pray that they're real.

On the Mend

Well, it's as I figured: Sinus infections abound. I am now on antibiotics and a prescription strength decongestant. I felt better after the first dose of pills and I'm so glad that I'll soon be feeling like me again, but it's not all happiness and roses in the healing process. The decongestant keeps me awake and gives me the jitters...like I've had a couple of cups of coffee. I made the mistake of taking one last night before bed. Bad idea. I'll be sure to take it a few hours before bed tonight. My poor hubby probably wondered all night, "What is wrong with my wife? She keeps tossing and turning, then getting up to go to the bathroom." As if he didn't think I was already psycho.

I spent yesterday traveling to the doctor, then traveling back to my city to have my prescription filled (which took about a half hour). Then, I stopped and picked up lunch for me and Indy at the local Chinese buffet restaurant. You pay $3.39 per pound of buffet...it seems even crazier looking at it in print here. While inside paying, a gentleman comes up to me and says, "You know, I just want to tell you something and I know it's going to sound funny on this particular day but I feel compelled to tell you." After all that, I was on pins and needles. "What the heck is it," I thought but instead I just said, "Sure. Go ahead." Then he says, "Your hair is absolutely beautiful I mean it's stunning!" He gushes for a few seconds about my hair and I graciously thank him. It was nice to have a compliment on V-day or any day, for that matter and with the way I was looking and feeling overall.

We got home and ate our lunch. I played with Indy a bit afterwards, then put her down for her nap. She slept for three hours, poor kid. She could never nap in the car or while she was out with me because we were constantly moving. Talk about wiped out.

At around 4:00pm, hubby and the babe came home. The babe was equipped with three Mylar balloons, presented to her outside of school in front of everyone by her loving father. Hubby said that she was on cloud nine with all the kids oohing, ahing and pointing at her special present. She also came home with tons of Valentine cards, candy, pencils and stickers from school. It will be June before she's through all of it. Also in hand were lovely flowers from hubby, which I quickly cut and added to fresh water in my favorite vase.

A good day and with some news about our home, made even better. We're in the process of refinancing (in order to consolidate some debt and lower our monthly payments), but we had to have our home appraised to do so. I believe we paid somewhere in the neighborhood of $145,000 back in 2001 for our home. It is now worth $235,000. Nice. All of hubby's hard work is paying off in the vast amount of equity we've accumulated in our home. I was quite pleased to hear this almost unbelievable number.

Happy Valentine's Day

Well, it's Valentine's day and I'm still sick as a dog, so it's off to the doctor's I go. Enough is certainly enough! I called the doctor's office yesterday while I was at work and got an appointment for late this morning. I told my boss and he and my coworkers were basically like, "Yeah, you need to go." So, after I drop off the babe at school, I'll probably head over there. I think I'll get there early and by what I've learned of last minute doctor's appointments, this is a good thing.

I gave hubby his gifts last night, since he gave me mine ( a stunning, marcasite and garnet bracelet). Garnets are my birthstone. I gave him the following inside the same basket I used to give him his Valentine's gifts ten years ago, when we were still "courtin'". He's kept it all these years:

1. 4 crystal shot glasses
2. 1 bottle of Cask and Cream Chocolate Liqueur
3. Liz Claiborne Dress Shirt in Merlot (seen here on the right)
4. Dove Chocolates (dark)
5. The 2nd Season of the Justice League (I know...so romantic)
6. A lovely, sappy Valentine's card (he actually really loves those)

He seemed to like everything...maybe more so than I thought. I was glad that he was happy, just before dropping off to sleep. We exchanged gifts last night because he worked overtime early this morning (2:00am to 2:00pm). Truth be told, he's a big kid at heart and just couldn't wait any longer to exchange gifts.

Now, I'm working a bit and hope to get some more hours in today, despite my ailments. Is it sad to hope for an infection because that's what I'm doing. I'm hoping for an infection that needs antibiotics so that only after an hour of taking it, my life will seem renewed. If not an infection, I couldn't bear to hear, "Sorry. It's a virus...you'll just have to wait it out." Virus bad...bacteria good. Bacteria can be swept away by lovely prescription drugs. (Fingers crossed)

A Nice, Quiet Weekend

I spent an evening out with hubby, Saturday. It was just dinner, but it was wonderful having time with him to myself. The girls had a baby-sitter and I felt comfortable with the situation more so than the last time. Indy is older and the babe is such a big help, I didn't feel as paranoid.

Hubby's reasoning was that it was his weekend off and during the week, he wanted to be sure he spent time with me and the girls. The babe is already asking about whether she'll get chocolates or not for Valentine's day. She picked out cards for her classroom last night and is all excited about giving them out. I started to remember the ordeal that became, once I was older; being specific about who got what card. Thankfully, she's not at that stage, yet. She'll just write their names, stick on the chocolate, and that will be the end of it.

I've purchased a few things for hubby and still have a couple of things left to get. It's going to be tricky. I can't stop after work because hubby freaks out if I'm not home when I say I'm going to be. Then if I say I have errands to run, he's gets super nosey. I don't want to try and go at lunch, for fear I'll run out of time (the store I want to go to is a quite a distance and I only have a half hour lunch with my new schedule). I could be satisfied with what I have but, no. That would be logical and we can't have that.

My nose and head are still in the zone. I just can't shake this cold or whatever it is. I started thinking that maybe it's a sinus infection, but then I read up on the symptoms on Web MD and there's a lot of pain associated with it, and I don't have pain (thank God!). I guess I'll just keep drinking and drinking until I drown myself or flush myself of whatever this crap is. I'm so sick of it...I'm just sick of being sick. Thankfully, the inversion is gone and we're getting rain...a sort of spring rain, if you will. The air is clean, head and nose, it's time to be over this.

Pop-Culture Mindblower...or is it?

I'm sure everyone knows by now that Anna (Vicky Lynn) is now among the departed for 2007. I actually found out while surfing blog pages and coming across a title that said, "Anna Nicole Smith Dead?!" It was sort of like coming across a tabloid headline and I dismissed it. Then, while heading back to the main page for my email, there it was. I motioned for coworkers to come over and look at my screen. All of us, gawking in disbelief.

Why were we surprised? We quickly discussed the events of her life just recently and how this shouldn't surprise us or anyone else for that matter. Her son is gone, she was going through two legal battles (one for money and one regarding paternity for her daughter). Her career, sans Trimspa ads, seemed to be dropping off again. With so much despair and a mind probably made too vulnerable by years of drug use, she must have become consumed. Articles say the autopsy will be performed today...we all know the results, don't we?

And, for a woman who modeled her life after Marilyn, it's just sort of eerie (or planned). I dunno. I suppose the TV movies, E! specials and journalists of the world will be all over this.

The Miracles of Soup

Last night was teacher conference night for the babe. The teacher gave the little one rave reviews and lots of kudos for all the improvement she's made over the year. We still have a ways to go in the math arena, but she loaded me down with practice sheets to help us along the way. I was quite proud of my little sweet pea.

Afterwards, I stopped at the store to pick up more box juices for her lunch, tissue, powdered drink mix for me, light bulbs, Tylenol Cool Burst Cold medicine for me and ladies feminine products (how'd you like that list?). :) Hubby and I are convinced my body rapidly adapted to the generic stuff I was taking and now, it was time to move onto the good stuff. I also stopped over at the Chinese restaurant in the same area (Aroma Garden) to pick up a small bowl of wonton soup and some pot stickers. I was craving, but with a purpose last night. The soup felt so good going down my sore, sore throat and the dipping sauce for the pot stickers was all too tasty! Is it the warmth and taste of soup that works the miracle for us or the soup itself?

I'm feeling a bit better, but not ready for a marathon by any means. I hope to go to my boot camp class tomorrow and I'm thinking a nice skull cap for afterwards is absolutely necessary. The class really kicks my butt...I enjoy the but kicking, but I enjoy the water even more. I've always said, if I could swim everyday, I certainly would...sick or not.

Hubby was extra cheery last night, even though he had an incident at work that left him really flustered. It's always frustrating to have guys come in hopped up off the streets, cussing you out because of the job you do. Some take the aggravation out on the prisoners, but my hubby has always been very good about holding his tongue. He even said last night that what he really wanted to do was pop open that cell and have the "big talker" put his money where his mouth was, but reason said, "You open those doors and choke his ass, you're out of a job, buddy." Not everyone is rational in the heat of frustration and distraction. I was proud of him for being the bigger man, as always.

After we chatted, he went to the gym and then to a bible study class. He's been missing church on Sundays, but still wants to find a way to participate in church. So, he's decided to go to a midweek service. He commented on the size of the group last night and the discussion topic, which brought back memories for me. Job. We actually studied Job in school (and yes. I went to a public school). It was for my AP English class and it was studied on a "literary" level, but of course, most of us in the class just loved the idea that we were pissing lots of people off by sporting our bibles all around school. As long as we weren't standing on soap boxes forcing people into a life of piety, who cares what we carried around?

Finally, in the midst of my sleep (which was wonderful and hard, on account of the new drugs in my body) I awoke to a screaming, fitful baby. She tossed, she turned...she didn't want me to hold her, she didn't want her Binky. I turned off the space heater and got her a bottle of cool water. She drank a bit then settled down. I took her back to bed and she became fitful again, so I turned to a new tactic. I began to speak calmly to her, telling her everything was okay and to go to sleep for mama. I found her Binky and placed it in her mouth. She started the forced sucking I've become so accustomed to and settled into a position that told me, "I'm tired, now. Please leave me be." Was this Indy's first nightmare?

Cough, Hack, Cough, Cough

Woe is me! I'm still sick and can't seem to shake whatever this is. Finally, finally the weather is above freezing and is actually feeling a bit like spring, and I really can't enjoy it. It just sucks being sick! My youngest still has a runny nose too, but surprisingly my oldest (Miss Ill herself) is doing just peachy. I guess she's built up an immunity after battling everything under the sun as an infant.

I took the day off on Monday and tried to rest under a pharmacy of drugs. The pink eye appears to have cleared up at least and my sore throat is gone, but I still hack and hack through the night. Last night (or this morning, I should say), I woke up shortly after my hubby left for work (around one something) and couldn't go back to sleep. Finally, at around two, I picked up a book and started to read. Damned if I couldn't put the book down. It's absolutely wonderful! A birthday present from a coworker, The Secret Life of Bees by Sue Monk Kidd (a southern writer, no less). The dialogue, the imagery and the humor are just wonderful. She also discusses a lot of social issues. I really had no idea what the book was about before I picked it up this morning. I didn't even read the back cover!

Now, for the first time in a long time, I'm reading two books at once. I used to manage up to 7 novels at a time, when I was working on my Masters. I still don't know how I kept that up without getting all of the characters confused. I really miss that time of my life, now that I'm older. I really just miss being in school. I hope that I'll be able to go back again.

The other book I'm reading is Blue Shoes and Happiness by Alexander McCall Smith. It is one of several books from the No.1 Ladies Detective Agency series he's writing. (This was one of my late birthday presents from my hubby.) It's truly an enchanting series and somewhat extraordinary...not because of the writing per se, but more so because of the author: a Scotsman writing about the life and times of African women in Botswana. The voice he uses is amazing to me in that he's definitely a man's man, but he captures these women and their strength so beautifully. Reading his bio, I imagine that the women who surrounded him as a child must have made a lasting impression.

I've been working with the Babe on her spelling this week double-duty, simply because the approach we've been taking hasn't been working. Each night, I've been having her write them, rather than verbally spell them back to me. We've also spent a lot of time on her letters and understanding her phonics a bit better. I hope it makes a difference. She's also done well with her reading, but the phonics thing has her a bit stumped. I hope this new strategy works.

Marathon Meetings and are they Really Necessary?

That's what I've been doing for the past few days and it's driving me batty! Thankfully, we're done now and I can actually get some real work done. Ugh! I feel like nothing was accomplished until the end of the day, yesterday...but, that's just me. Maybe everyone else felt like they got something out of the hours of talking we endured. At least the lunch was good (Paradise Bakery). I had a southwest chicken sandwich, pasta salad and tossed salad. All was yummy and I didn't go overboard (I've been getting really good at that).

Tuesday night, the family went roller skating again and I was looking a lot better this time around. There was this one chick there, who was cruising around the rink like a pro (complete with IPOD)...jamming away, was awesome and oblivious to the tunes coming through the skating rink sound system. She did, however, ditch the personal music to engage in "The Hokey Pokey" and "The Chicken Dance." I actually thought that was kind of weird. Then, the earphones went back in and she cruised around the rink some more. Hubby didn't even get skates, this time. The babe got tired before I did and played video games with dad for a bit. I was happy to see Indy so content, even though she was in her stroller the whole time.

I'm really set on getting my own skates, now. I can only imagine whose nasty, stinky feet have been in those before me. I know they spray them, but what's that? Is that going to kill years of built up fungi? Who knows. I'm on a mission to find some decently priced skates and, luckily, Big5 throws there's on sale every couple of weeks. Right now, they only have their roller blades on sale.

Hubby being home has been so nice, but I can't seem to stay healthy. As soon as I get over a cold, another one seems to emerge. Now, I have this blasted pink eye and so do both of the girls. Yuck! It's, drops here and drops there with us for the next seven days. I just want to be healthy and not worry about sniffling, coughing, sneezing, phlegmy yuckiness anymore. I spend so much time trying to breathe at night, "other things" are neglected (and that is never good). We were supposed to have quality time last night, but after he got off the phone with his mother, all I wanted to do was try and sleep. The humidifier was going, the Vicks was on (and in) and I was steady trying to breathe out of one nostril (not fun).

He's been great through it all, though with nary a complaint. He took the babe to school and picked her up, yesterday. Then, he took her swimming and rented a movie for her to watch with the family (Open Season). He took her and will bring her home today as well. We have dance tonight, and I'm going to try and convince him to go with me again. We had such a good time together last week, even though all we did was chat and play with Indy. As much as they can sometimes drive me totally nuts, I'm so fortunate to have my little family. More and more, I'm recognizing this.

Go Shorty, It's yah birthday!

This water bearer is celebrating her 32nd birthday today. It's been awesome, so far. I woke up and started working on my computer and only a half hour into working, I received my first, "Happy Birthday," call from my dear, sweet hubby. Last night, he had flowers waiting for me when I got home. He'd also prepared dinner (stuffed halibut, mixed red bean casserole, stuffed crab shells and bread sticks). Hey, it was heaven for me and I saw the results of my feast on the scale this morning (ouch!).

I continued working, then went into the kitchen for tea. What did I find? One of those singing cards that television has been advertising for a while. The outside says, "Out of a whole big world, I found my one and only. Lucky Me." Inside, it says, "Amazing you" and plays the song Some Kind of Wonderful. I nearly woke up the baby when I opened the card, but it was so sweet. Also, a new eternity necklace and CZ earring studs.

I went back to my room and received my second phone call; a birthday serenade from my mother (we all do that in my family). It was very sweet, complete with runs, rolls and lots of vibrato. We chatted for a bit about what she was going to get me and I (for the first time ever) declined her homemade biscuits or a red velvet birthday cake. I wonder what she'll come up with, now that she doesn't have to cook? Oh, how I'll miss that cake.

Hubby called again later, to see if I'd seen the cards and gifts yet. He wanted me to take my flowers to work, but I decided that I didn't want to leave them in the office over the weekend in no light to die. They're quite tropical looking and I can keep them alive a lot longer at home. (oh, he just called again. It's 10:50am).

On my way to taking the babe to school, I turned on my cell phone and it started to vibrate after a bit. Hubby had left an "I love you more than you'll ever know," message on my phone from when he'd first headed out to the gym this morning at 3:15...crazy guy. At work, a 9-pack of chocolate cup cakes (I'll have one, only) potted daffodils, a card, a balloon and many birthday wishes. It's good to be the Queen.

Tonight, I have no plans...only to take the babe to dance class. She starts gymnastics up again next week and dad has said he'll take her swimming starting next week, too. That child will have no opportunity to get into trouble. She'll be way too busy! I guess, it's good to be the princess, too.

Still Making Up

Hubby was especially amorous, last night. Unfortunately, it didn't last as long as I'd hoped. He pretty much passed out at around 6:30pm, so I watched Made in America with the babe. It's like a going on a field trip at home. The babe asked lots of questions about the trash compactors being made last night and also the fire alarms. I'm glad she's inquisitive, but sometimes it gets down-right irritating. "What's this? What does this do? Why is that on? How come it's that color?" etc.... I was glad to see 8:00pm roll around. "Off to bed with you, child-of-many-questions."

I've been doing really well with the eating plan (see the other blog) but regular exercise has been put on hold while I recuperate. I've been coughing and hacking like a mad woman...more so because of the nasty inversion. Oh, we got our snow last weekend but it wasn't enough to wash the crud away. It's too bad because the air quality is just getting worse and worse. Newscasters say things like, "Elderly people and those with bronchial troubles should limit their time outside," and "Commute if at all possible." I've been running the humidifier and that helps, but I've still got the crudies. Even going skating caused a coughing spell at one point. I wanted to push myself harder, but didn't dare. I hope we get a nice, strong wind soon.

My girlfriends are taking me to lunch today for my birthday. We can't go tomorrow (the actual day) because of some weird meeting one of them has to "participate" in (that usually means she has to make sure the catering comes when it's supposed to and set up the meals, snacks, drinks, etc...). She seems to like her job, but I'd feel like a servant. Oh, well. So, off to lunch we're going today. It's actually the first time I've been to a restaurant in the year 2007 while watching what I eat. I think I'll be fine and won't go overboard (keeping fingers crossed).

Let's Make Up!

That's what the evening was filled with (and with the best way I know how). I went to bed at around 8:30, but I didn't get to sleep till midnight. Needless to say, I'm in zombie mode right now, but oh, the memories.

We took the babe roller skating last night and it actually turned out to be a really fun evening. Let me set it up:

Two years ago, the babe was taken to the skate center and put into some fisher price "learn and grow" skates. The experiment was unsuccessful. After several falls, lots of tears and only fifteen minutes after paying the full price to get in, we left the skate center. I decided that I would buy the babe some "learn and grow" skates of her own to practice in. Fast-forward a year and still no skates from mom. Auntie takes the babe on an outing to where? Why, the skating rink of course. After paying full price, Auntie and the babe leave the skating rink after only ten minutes.

The babe's birthday is coming up so, mom seeks out roller skate prices on the Internet. She finds a really cute purple pair that only cost her $24.oo. The skates arrive and are unwrapped on the babe's sixth birthday. She is ecstatic!

Over the next four months, the babe practices rolling around the kitchen (just as her mother had done years before, in order to learn how to roller skate). She skates slow, she skates fast and she falls a lot. Not to be deterred, she keeps at it and soon begins to look somewhat like the skaters on Xanadu. Hmmm. Mom comes up with a plan. Why not try the babe at the rink again on a night where it doesn't cost your first born to get in. See how it goes and then take it from there.

The family is admitted for a flat-rate of $10.00 for unlimited skating and rentals. Awesome! Mom picks up some skates, while hubby rolls Indy around in the stroller. The family finds a table to park our stuff and mom proceeds to put on the strangely shaped rental skates. The babe laces up her own. In only a few moments, mom and dad are wondering where the babe has gone, "Did you see her? When did she leave?" The babe is out on the rink...cruising. Success! She stays out on the floor for most of the time (about one hour and thirty-five minutes). Mom and dad are ready to hit dollar nights...a family activity to carry us through the winter.

I've pretty much decided that I've got to purchase my own pair. Those rentals were killing my toes! They only had men's sizes and you know, no half sizes. So, a seven was too small and an eight was way too big. They're definitely on my wish list. After a couple of rounds, I was looking like my old disco-rollering self (okay, not really), but it was fun and great exercise. I'm really excited to go again. I'd forgotten how much fun it can be!

Trials and Tribulations

Well, me and hubby are in the thick of one right now. It all has to do with a stupid comment I made (yes, admittedly by me) that snowballed into a not-so-nice evening at home last night. It's too bad, too. I mean, hubby was all set to stay home and not go to church with me and the girls. He complained about not being on schedule yet and I said, "If you had to go to work today, would you go or would you call in?" I guess he thought about this because the next thing I knew, he was in the shower shaving.

Sunday was nice and we were having a really good day. In the midst of it, he made quite a few phone calls to friends and relatives, while I worked on the babe's hair. This took about two hours (washing, plaiting then interlocking the braids). We then piled into the car and went to the store. On the way back, we drove past a Japanese steakhouse (which we've seen often, but never gone to) and I say very casually, "When are you going to take me there?" He goes into this speech about being practical and our having kids and not being able to spend $100 on dinner. Okay. Point taken, but why did I have to finish off with, "Don't talk to me about practical. I'm Ms. Practical besides, I'm not the one who ran up the credit cards." Yep, not good. Totally uncalled for and a cheap shot. But, it was out there and no apology or anything was going to make him feel better.

So, we ate our fabulous king crab legs (courtesy of my father's gift card to us for Christmas) in silence. He cleaned the house like a mad man afterwards, then we all went to bed. It was sad and I felt really bad about it. So, this morning he calls to talk to me and tell me how he felt. I wanted to tell him how I felt and apologize, but by the time he was done talking, the rest of the office had come in for work. No privacy. I can't spill my guts or say really anything at this point. "Oh, well." I tell him. "Now I can't talk." Of course, this irritates me from his end too, because, he'll talk for hours before I can get anything in. (It's actually a major sour of irritation and he knows this now, but he's too old to stop, I guess). At any rate, even getting an apology in wasn't going to happen.

Tonight, we're supposed to take the babe roller skating for all the good behavior points she's gained from school. We're so proud of her and I actually wanted her to go last Tuesday, but that's when I started feeling sick. I hope we can go without too much tension. She shouldn't have a horrible time because mommy and daddy can't get it together. I actually hope that I can talk to hubby before I get home today, but who's to say. He may decide not to answer my calls after this morning. How's this to a great start for my birthday week?

Apeculture.com

Here's a survey I stumbled upon (I've edited some of the questions because I thought..."Gosh, there's no way I can answer this). So, here it is! Consider yourselves tagged.

1. What's the strangest place you've made whoopee? Probably the basement of my mother's house. We tried to be really quiet, but I don't think anyone was fooled.
   

2. Name a part of your body you detest. My arms. Ugh! I'm a linebacker...it's crazy!
   

3. What is your most painful childhood memory? I went through a thievery phase in elementary school. I know now that it was for attention, but I changed everyone's perception of me when I was caught. No one trusted me.
   

4. Describe how you lost your virginity. I was dating my now husband for about five months. He'd been begging and begging for a while, but I was pretty sure I could wait until I married. I figured it would be him (Justifying, yes). Four days after graduation, we were getting pretty hot and heavy in his bedroom when one thing led to another. Black satin sheets...could it be more cliche?
   

5. Name 4 porno movies you watch over and over. We don't have any anymore, but theirs plenty of smut samples on the computer. Haven't watched any in a long time (no need to).
   

6. Name something you have shoplifted. I lifted a comb set from a kiosk at Marine land when I was a child. I didn't have enough money for it and the stuffed dolphin. It's seems so stupid, now.
   

7. What's the highest your credit card debt has ever been? About $12,000 -$15,000 combined (me and hubby). He's credited home improvement purchases on cards, but that's about it. I just hate using them. When I do, I try to pay them off right away.
   
   

8. On a scale of 1-10, rate your self-esteem. Right now, it's around 6, but once the baby weight is off, look out!
   

9. Name a celebrity of the opposite sex whose bones you would like to jump. Just one? Nuh, uh. There's no way I could name just one:Vin Diesel, LL Cool J, Christian Bale, Jason Statham. Whew! Hot, hot, hot!!
   

10. List a medical problem you had that you were embarrassed to talk to the doctor about. I was ten and had taken a very aggressive round of antibiotics. A week later, I was all itchy in the neither regions and eventually had to tell my mom (because it was driving me crazy). This was before yeasty beastie medicine was over the counter, so off to the doctor's we went. I had to get a special inserter because I was still a virgin and hadn't started my period (I wasn't used to having things in there). I remember being so embarrassed.
    

11. When was the last time you voted and who did you vote for? The last Presidential election. Um, not Bush. I'm not crazy. I was one of the millions that voted for Kerry. Oh, well.
    

12. When was the last time you picked your nose? Did you get caught? Yesterday. Nope, I was in the bathroom.
    

13. When was the last time you farted? Yesterday...I had black beans. It couldn't be helped.
    

14. Women: do you groom yourself "down there"? I was much better about it when I was thinner. I would shave what little I have completely off. I think my hubby likes the variety so, I go back and forth. He's the only one who cares about it anyway. Oh, and I'll make sure "nothings hanging out" when swim season appears.
    
    

15. How much money do you make? Not enough :-), but above average in my field.
    

16. How much money does your dad make? Who the hell knows. Probably a lot less than me. It's too bad, since he could make 6 figures if he really wanted to.
    

17. Have you ever considered suicide? When and why? What method? Once, when I was younger. I could never go through with it, though. I'm not that selfish and way too chicken.
    

18. Have you ever been so drunk or high you didn't remember what you did? What did your friends later tell you that you did? It was New Year's eve 97-98. I asked my boyfriend to buy me a bottle of Champagne. It didn't taste right at some point in the drinking, and I added sugar. Oh, the agony the next day (my one and only hangover). There are parts of that night that I don't remember. I'm glad I was in a safe place.
    

19. Have you ever had an abortion or paid for someone to have one? No
    

20. Was potty training easy for you? My mom says it was, but I always wanted to bring my little potty out when company was around and show everyone.
    

21. If you could eliminate one religion from the face of the earth, which one would you pick? Mormonism
    

22. Have you ever danced with the devil in the pale moonlight? What about in a sleazy dive bar? Yep, and boy was he sweaty. Never been to a sleazy dive bar, but would love to go one day and people watch.
    

23. Have you ever eaten a lot of junk food and then thrown it up on purpose? Yes. I had
    several slices of pizza, a lot of soda and what seemed like buckets of candy. I felt awful and didn't want to have to endure the misery for the night, so I brought it back up. Oh, the colors.
    

Sickness and Reality T.V.

Yesterday, I felt like stir-fried crap on a stick (you know, that expression leaves me with many questions, but I'll say it anyway). Indy has pretty much kept a cold this winter and it was inevitable that I or the babe get it. Then, we've got this nasty inversion hanging over the valley. It's a dirty red haze that just sits. You can't even see the city! It's disgusting! It happens when a high front moves over and pushes all the cold air down to the valley floor. Doing so also traps all the pollution too. It makes for really crummy air quality and ours has been in the red for days. No relief can happen until either wind or a storm comes in (and we're not due for one anytime soon).

So, yesterday the cough was strong, the throat was scratchy and the body was aching. I stayed in bed pretty much the entire day (only rising to see about Indy's needs, taking the babe to school and eating). She took a really long nap, which allowed for primo rest. I'm feeling better today, but not 100%. I hope that the weather changes and allows for something to happen. If not, I'll ask hubby about going up the canyon for the weekend to get above the nasty air. We did that last year (the babe and I) and it was great for our lungs and morale. This time of year tends to bring on the blues for a lot of people. Thankfully, I haven't had that part happen yet.

At home with the baby asleep, I caught up on reality shows. I hate that I'm watching these things and that we have so much fun talking about them at work. I've got to start reading again. This is beginning to be an obsession! I watched I Love New York, The Surreal Life Fame Game, and American Idol. I missed the first night of Idol, but caught it last night. It still amazes me that people come on with this fall sense of talent and get completely belligerent with the judges because they can't sing. Unreal! (unreal, reality...wink, wink). The New York show has pretty well convinced me of why people see African Americans the way they do. I keep hoping a glimmer of intelligence appears, but alas. All of them really are just mindless entertainment and I don't take any of it too seriously. I guess as long as I keep that attitude, I won't completely fry the brain. (There are those, however, who have reached the level of the guy in the picture above...scary).

Death and Taxes

You've heard the saying: The only two things you can count on are death and taxes. It's a such a morbid turn of phrase, but morbid or not, it is the truth. I sometimes am very aware of my mortality and try very hard to do the things in day that would, at least, leave my children with pride in their mother. Other days, I rely on the idea that as has happened with most of the women in my family, I will live to a ripe old age...living alone watching my shows, the news and going to church at every given opportunity.

Yesterday, I got a reality check of my mortality. Our neighbor who lives directly across the street, went in for back surgery over the Christmas break. He is a K-9 officer and pretty good friends with my hubby. He, unfortunately, had complications from the surgery during his recovery period and passed away. This would be easy to take if he was a man in his 70s or even in his 60s, but no. He was 33. Oh, God...33.

The babe and his children would play together on his trampoline in the backyard. He had a daughter (two years older than the babe) and identical twin boys (one year older than the babe). They weren't best friends by any means, but the babe felt safe at his house and was comfortable talking to him. I haven't told her yet, but I'm dreading the very thought of it. She's so sensitive and this is the first human being she's known that has died...and, he's close to her own father's age.

This has been rough to take and the idea that a man so young and virile is no longer among the living just breaks my heart. I feel so vulnerable and exposed. I suppose if you dwelled on the idea of your mortality day in and day out, you couldn't enjoy the life you have. The fact that we are able to keep going, knowing that death could strike us down at any minute, is our own sort of defense mechanism to enjoy life. What on earth would we do if we didn't have it?