A Few of the Seven Deadlies

Well, which of the seven you ask? For me, today, the first sin of choice is gluttony. I have been gluttonous and boy am I paying for it now. We have these monthly "staff" lunches at work were there is always food 'o plenty. Our Provost will be retiring at the end of 2006 and the entire University has these goals to meet "for him" before he retires. Each month, we rip numbers off a tally sheet to show how far we've come, then we "break bread" together. Today's meal? A scrumptiously catered Olive Garden lunch, complete with Lasagna, Fettucine, tossed salad and all the bread sticks you could eat (or, in my case, scarf down in an uncontrollable frenzy). I, of course, had my fill and then some. Now, I'm sitting at my computer straining to keep my head from hitting the keyboard. I knew when I'd overdone it, but I just kept going. This is definitely not the time to do this, with my belly as big as it is now. There's no room for all that food! The baby is treating my organs like punching bags because of it. Believe me, I've learned my lesson.

Speaking of "big bellies", my belly is the object of fear again. It's just blowing my mind how horny I am all of the time and my hubby is terrified to do anymore than mutual oral (which he loves, so no complaints there). Not that I'm complaining it's just that I do like the regular poking (sorry, too graphic?). He's actually said, "I don't want to dent the baby's head," which, everyone knows, is absolutely ridiculous. He even knows it's ridiculous! Granted, my "hang time" isn't very good and I'm probably not nearly as much fun in my current condition, but that doesn't mean I don't need it. Ugh! It's so frustrating! I'm lusting after my husband and he can't handle it. (deadly sin number two)

So, because of my condition, I'm envious of those who can do what I can't right now. (Number three...) As I've said before, my looks are fairly decent, but my body has gotten me everywhere. Now, I look at people who've got a shape (at least a waist) and I'm like, "Dammit! I had a waist once, too. I've got pictures to prove it! Here, let me whip up a slideshow so you can see how mad-sexy I used to be. Look! Just look!! I used to be limber and could contort into all sorts of fun positions. Don't judge me because, right now, I can only maintain missionary for five seconds, I've still got it! Just give me a few months, after this baby comes" (Oh, and I will so be back on the Ebonyechantress page, documenting the weightloss when the time comes. You can believe that!)

Okay, so I know it's for the greater good and I am, after all, growing a baby. I guess I've hit that stage where the body is just tired of being pregnant. I looked and I'll be 8-months prego as of Thursday of this week. Eight-freakin'-months (that means only four more weeks until full term, for those who don't feel like counting). Our president (during the lunch) also announced that we will be having a joint, company party, to be held on December 19th at the Wells Fargo Tower on the 23rd floor. For every year, up until last year, we had all-staff parties at some fancy-schmancy location. Last year, they tried dividing up the departments, putting each department in charge of it's own, individual party. A bad idea from the onset. It caused a lot of friction (because some departments have bigger budgets than others) and frustration (because some people don't like the people in their own departments. How can you expect to get all decked out and fabulous, then party with people you don't like?) Anyway, we were all relieved to hear that the party was combined and that we'd all be together. Then, the date began to ring true for me: I can just see it now...me, riding up the elevator on December 19th (my 37th week of pregnancy...month 9) in my most fabulous maternity evening wear, complete with glittering accessories and hair to die for. Just as we approach the seventeenth floor, my water breaks and hubby has a panic attack. We quickly push the main floor button, but not before getting to the 23rd floor where meandering guests get a nice view of a woman who looks like she's just peed all over herself. Lovely! And, of course, to complete the evening, the weather will decide to act fruity and dump 6 or 7 inches while hubby flies at 90 miles an hour to our hospital, located thirty miles away.

I'm so positive today! I guess deadly sins will do that to a person.

November Christmas

It's wonderful to have a mother who is so giving. Last week sometime, I was persuing the Dell site, looking at their laptops. When my maternity leave begins, I will be given a loaner from office to work on. I figured that, once I had it, I would get so spoiled to having a computer to work on in bed, on the couch, in the kitchen that it would be really hard for me to go back to hiding in the basement on my office computer. Okay, not hiding exactly, but basically chained to the computer downstairs, away from all civilization. My mother called a few days before to say, "Do you want your Christmas money now or at Christmas?" At the time, I told her that I like having things to open on Christmas day, even if it's just an envelope with a check. She said that she would save it until then (a check for me and a check for hubby).

So, I'm playing around on the site and they've got this great deal on their 1200 Inspirons (including a wireless card). I call her up and ask the most uncomfortable question of my life, "So mom, I know this is really weird and so wrong, but how much were you planning on giving me for Christmas, cause I'm looking at these laptops on the Dell site and the prices are really great." Then, she's like, "Really? How much?" So, I tell her. Then she says (to my utter surprise), "Well, go ahead and order it and get me one, while your at it." She dictates her card number to me over the phone and I place the order.

I am currently typing on said laptop right now and what a beautiful thing! Yes, I know I must be terribly behind technology wise but, what a way to catch up! (and I didn't even have to pay for it). Woohoo! Okay, so I did shell out the $50 for the wireless router, but big deal, right? That was actually a bit of a headache...2 hours on the phone with tech support, trying to get it to work with my modem (the problem was that it was super slow. Web pages were taking 7 to 8 minutes to load. Not good). Once that was taken care of, everything was gravy.

Speaking of Christmas, I started my Christmas shopping a couple of weeks ago (hey, I may be in the hospital by Christmas, so best to get it done and out of the way, right?) I only have my hubby and daughter left to shop for (hubby being the hardest, since he's the shopper and usually has everything he wants anyway). One thing that he wants that I know he won't be able to get is Palmer's Black & Beautiful Cocoa Butter Dip. He loves that stuff! We had a store that carried it here for really cheap, but then they went out of business. I bought them out, but now our supplies are almost depleted. I'll be ordering him buckets of it for Christmas. My best friend is in love with their Shea Butter Dip. She says, "It's the only lotion I've been able to put on in the morning and still not see "ash" by the end of the day." I wish this stuff were in more stores here, but that's asking for way to much.

Lastly, I've been coughing something fierce for the past few days. The strange thing was that I felt fine besides the incessant coughing. Then, the coughing became painful - not in my throat, but in my abs. Everytime you cough, your abs contract and being nearly 8-months pregnant, with my abs stretched to capacity, this was not a pleasant sensation. In fact, it got so bad Friday that everytime the baby moved, it felt like pins stabbing me from the inside. My stomach was so sore, I just couldn't take it anymore. So, I called my doctor and he prescribed a Z-pack (antibiotics) and cough medicine. I picked up the meds after work and, $33 later, headed home. After setting up the laptop, I took the meds and felt an immediate difference within the first half hour. It was amazing! Could I really have some sort of infection? Tonight, I started coughing and took the cough meds (I had them earlier with fairly good results), but this evening, after the antibiotics, the same thing. I feel loads better. It's that situation where you don't realize you've felt bad, until you start feeling better? I'm so glad I called!

I was surprised as well because the cough medicine has coedine. I'm only taking a teaspoon a dose, but coedine? I didn't know that it was okay but, perhaps because I'm so far along and the dosage is so small, it's okay to take. I gotta say, though, I was too thrilled because it knocked me out and I slept better than I've slept in days.

So, I'll play on the laptop a bit more before turning in. My hubby's convinced that he won't get any time from me, now that I have it. Not a chance! :-) He's still number one at the top of my "Cool" list.

My Sister, My Soror

This past weekend was my alma mater's homecoming. I would link to the page, but I'm so embarrassed by the new design that I've chosen not to. It was great site before...now it just looks cheesy. Ughh! (Okay, so I went back and linked to it anyway...after all that, some may want to see it.) Anyway, my sorority sisters planned an event in honor of all the homecoming festivities. Several years worth of lines came out, as far back as 1975 so I'm told.

A little history - My mother is a Delta, so I've heard about Deltas most of my life. I equated them with class, style and intelligence. Because I was such a big fan of my mother's, I figured I'd be an idiot not to pledge and follow in her footsteps. I came here to Utah, the summer before Rush, and worked my butt off to raise the money to pledge. Rush came that fall and I was sooo nervous, but I was granted an invitation to join. Granted, an invitation doesn't mean that you can be a member, so I still had major anxiety. I've said in my 100 things about me that I'm a born leader, but know how to follow, right? Well, after the many weeks of drama, stress and pressure from pledging, I finally crossed the burning sands and rejoiced in my victory. Little did I know how much work would be involved afterwards.

Our line was in crisis from the beginning and our chapter had been put on probation. Many of the girls on my line were graduating that spring and many more the year after. We needed desperately to bring a line over before there was no one left to do it. So, here we are on probation with a huge, University checklist to complete before we could do anything. Then, with our regionals, they had their own demands. I was financial secretary at the time, so my role wasn't huge, but I put in my hours. Believe that! Workshop after workshop, form after form, we crossed all our "t's" and dotted all of our "i's" in hopes of being able to call ourselves an "active" chapter.

Now, with all these women - their idiocyncracies and varying personalities, things could get really intense between us but, we were a family and we always managed to work through our issues. When the seniors graduated and elections were held again, I was totally surprised when I was nominated for president. At first I thought, "They aren't fooling me. I know there's just no one else who wants to do it," but then, I found, I wasn't running alone. I then figured, "Hey, maybe they know something I don't. If they have that much faith in me, I should probably have that faith in myself." So, I became president. Our VP? A girl I got along with, but we never really saw eye-to-eye.

It worked out well and much better than I ever anticipated. Because we didn't have a lot in common, she kept me on my toes and forced me to see things from a different point of view. There were many times when she would frustrate the hell out of me, but we'd push forward and get the job done. One trait we did share was our drive to complete things. We never let anything sit and I'm sure that's what got us off of our probation so quickly. We had a really good year together and finished up all of our requirements (including hundreds of service projects, which were really the best part, in my opinion), so that we could successfully bring over a fresh line the spring of our senior year.

Most of my sorors live within, no more than a 200 mile radius of each other. They find time to get together for lunches and dinners and I truly miss that camaraderie. I would have loved to have been there with them, but in my present condition, it wasn't happening. The VP of our line did send me pictures, which really made me miss them more. I thought about how different we probably all are, after ten+ years. The pettiness factor that can be so prevalent through young people would be virtually nonexistent now, and we could really enjoy ourselves without all the drama. As I scanned through more pictures, I was also surprised to see how we'd aged. Some well, while others, not so much. Mortality certainly catches up with you. One of the things I know blows their minds is that I'm a mother. Not because I didn't seem capable of being one in college, but because I'm not maternal at all. So many of my sisters had that in spades and, indeed, became mothers. The ones who aren't are nursing or teaching (close enough).

It will be 2007 before I can join them for any sort of homecoming event and I'm sure things will have changed even more. I hope they keep up with the communication. You know, there's really no excuse with all the methods we have now.

Memories - (a) I'm a Delta so, yes. I partied (but not well). I've always been one that needed to go to bed. When we'd throw parties, they didn't really get crunk until around 12:00 am (way past bedtime). So, I'd work the door, then go mingle and greet, then come back to the door. By 3:00 am (last call), I'd be barely conscious. It was pitiful! We'd count up the money, I'd go back to my room (dorm room, yes), shower off the smoke and weed smell, then crash. I'd be no good the next day, walking around in a daze. I preferred our parties on Fridays so that I could have Saturday to be a zombie, but they were usually Saturday night. Then, I'd drag my 3 hours worth of sleep butt to church on Sunday. Not good.
(b) I had sisters who could drink a sailor under the table. They'd carry big gulp cups around filled with some sort of scary concoction, then pass out at the first available room (also, not good). I can remember one of my sisters calling me at about 1:00 am on a Saturday (you know I was sleep) asking me to go and get, we'll call her "T", "She's been drinking since 6 this evening and nobody can get her to go to her room." So, I drag myself out of bed and find her staggering around the dorms, looking like a typical drunk and convince her to take her but back to her room. "T" is now a professional who is married, owns a home, has a daughter and is pregnant with her second. When she's not working at her full-time job, she teaches aerobics. My, how things change!
(c)My best friend never pledged a sorority, but she became a Delta by association. If we were out together, people just assumed that she was. She was always quick to let them know that she wasn't, for fear someone might try and test her with some secret or something. It had it's benefits for her because she adored the Ques (Omega Psi Phi) and hugs are given out liberally from Ques to Deltas. She considered making a pin that said, "I"m not a Delta, but I'll take a Que hug." It was because of this association that she let go of her fear of college parties and started going with me.

Anyway, we decided to go to this party together at this hole-in-the-wall club, not far from campus. In fact, I think we walked there. The club probably had 800 square feet total, including the bar, dance floor, dj booth and surrounding tables. My guess is that we had broken all the fire codes because there were soooo many people inside. Everyone was pressed up against each other and sweaty as hell. We were having a fine old time when suddenly (you guessed it!) someone decided to come up in there and start shooting. So, I did what any sane black woman would do. I headed under the table with my friend. As we waited for the door to clear, we looked over to see another guy under the table with us. We were like, "This is so crazy! Do you think they got him?" He was like, "I don't know." Then we started wondering about the security and where the bouncer was, then he busts out, "I am the bouncer." We laugh about this, even to this day.

Doctor's Visit - Decisions, Decisions

I just came from my doctor's visit. This was my glucose test visit, where they check to see if I have gestational diabetes. I had to eat my lunch directly before the visit, then get my blood drawn. Normally, they have you drink this god-awful orange drink (looks kinda like Fanta but trust me, it doesn't taste like it) then sit for 20 minutes, then take your blood. I'm so glad he did it this way. My palate can only handle so much these days and that orange stuff would make anyone vomit.

Anyway, the visit started off with the normal weigh-in. Oh my dear Lord! I nearly had a panic attack when I saw where the scale went. Let me just put it this way; I've got a lot of work to do when this is all said and done. I'm only 5'2 for God's sake! They went forward by taking a "sample", then checking my blood pressure. Next, it was time for the blood draw. My doc came in and asked me if I'd had a flu shot and I haven't. My plan was for me to get mine with my doctor, but I figured, "If they're poking me anyway, might as well get it done now." He told me that if everything was normal with the glucose test that he wouldn't go over my results until the next visit; but, if there was a problem, he would call (translation, a nurse would call - I'm no idiot. I know how this game works).

He goes on to say that my urine is clear (lovely), my weight is good (oh, really?) and my blood pressure is terrific so, he doesn't forsee me having the problems I had with my last pregnancy. He did say, however, that he wouldn't be opposed to inducing my labor a week before my due date. I am absolutely not for inducing. I had to go through that the last time and I would much rather my labor happen naturally. I'll suffer through being miserable, unless I absolutely have to be forced to deliver. He also said that if I got a bit of toxemia or anything, I may have to go on bed rest or stay in the hospital, depending on what happens. I'm glad that I thought of those options when drafting my maternity proposal. Now, I've got to figure out how to get a wireless connection so I don't absolutely lose my mind if they do put me on bed rest.

Nursey dear comes back after the doc leaves and gives me the flu shot. My daughter was mortified, whinning and shivering the entire time. Fortunatley for her, they couldn't give her one in my ObGYN office. She'll have to wait...but her butt is still going to get one. It's kind of ironic because I have always been against these shots. Flus are viruses and viruses mutate from person to person. True the general strand stays intact, but the mutations are uncontrollable (which is why, boys and girls, we do not have a cure for the common cold yet). I figure, why go through the process of getting a shot when I could still get a mutated version of the one that's currently out? Well, being pregnant has changed my mind for the moment and I figure, better go ahead with it and at least protect the baby, if nothing else. It wasn't so bad and I was glad to hear it's a killed virus (less likely to feel sick side effects).

So, what are the decisions? While the doc was talking to me, I had my normal two questions I come with. This week, I asked about a back-up plan if I were to suddenly go into labor at work. My HR manager was concerned about using the hospital close by the office, rather than my hospital of choice. So, I'm asking my doctor about it and he says, "Are you planning on me delivering your baby?" I wanted to say, "What the hell? Why do I come to you every few weeks if I'm not planning on you delivering my baby?" but instead I say, "Well, that's the plan..." (in my most cute, sarcastic tone). Then he says, "Because, I don't deliver at McKay Dee (my hospital choice) only Davis (the hospital I've only heard horror stories about). The reason being is that I can't be in two places at once." Well, alrighty then! So, then I say, "Then, I guess I'm delivering at Davis," and he says, "That's good. You'll like Davis." Hmmm....

I can still change my mind about this, I know. I went to McKay Dee to have my down syndrome ultrasound check and it was lovely! It's newer and the facilities are fantastic! What I've seen of Davis looks like something out of a horror movie (Think Halloween 2 and Jamie Lee Curtis running for her life through what should be a modern day hospital in the 1970's...creepy). Okay, so I haven't actually been inside and I'm making my judgements strickly from what I've seen on the outside, along with what other mothers have said. But if I do change my mind, then some random doctor will deliver my baby. What to do, what to do. I'll talk to hubby about it, of course, and a couple of other mothers that I know delivered up here. I just want to give this baby the best start possible. My first had it so rough, I've done everything I could to make this pregnancy better.

Halloween and Other Incidentals

So, the Halloween potluck at work was a huge success! It was a chili and chowder theme. One employee actually brought a very decent Jambalya. The crock-pot was scraped clean, by the time I got up for seconds. Our committee went out-of-control on the decoration front, but everyone seemed to enjoy themselves. I came as Lily Munster, complete with raven black, silver-streaked tresses, over the top makeup and flowing black cape (which I made). I managed to snag a fourth-place costume prize. Our winner? Someone actually came as Beauty and the Beast's Mrs. Potts. It was pretty cute and she deserved her winnings. She, like myself, got the bulk of her costume from eBay. Oh, what did we ever do without it! I'm such an addict.

By the end of the day, I was completely exhausted. I don't know why it's so hard for me to remember that, when you carry a baby, you just don't have the same kind of energy. I really thought I was going to pass out at my desk. People who saw me the next day even commented on how tired I looked. Damn, if I looked tired through all that war-paint on my face, that's really saying something.

On the home front, I got the little one home and into her Pegasus/Unicorn costume. She was so excited. Then, dad put on his. What a brave man! Actually, I thought he made a rather hot Batman...too bad I was too tired to do anything...(It's not typical that I show pictures of my family or anyone, because I'm so paranoid. I figured since dad was in a mask, it would be okay.

That's something that I haven't really discussed on this site: Why is it that on the Ebonyenchantress page I have some pictures, but the faces are blurred out and on the New Dawn site, I don't have any pictures? The answer is simple and complicated. My name. My name is so unique and so different that when you google it, everything about me pops up (well, the few public items that I have out there pop up, anyway). No, it's not ghetto fabulous and it's not famous (well, my maiden is in the music world, but not my first name), but I'll tell you...I've never met anyone with my name. So, because of everything I talk about on the blogs, I figure it's best to keep that piece of information to myself. If you figure it out, all the more frightening because then people will really know how crazy I am. LOL!

The rest of the week has been fairly good, with one little episode; I had another one of my meltdowns Tuesday night with my hubby. I basically told him how much I hate his hours (which, he already knew) and how much I hate that he's away so much (no news flash there) and finally, how out of control I feel about my emotions right now, especially in regards to my paranoia with him. I'm really worried about how I'll feel when/if he leaves for the academy in Vegas early next year. That's four months with no contact with him, other than phone calls. Four freaking months! What the hell are we supposed to do? It's not like I'll be able to jump in the car and drive the six hours with my five-year old and a new born, whenever I feel like it.

It's really sad because if it hadn't been for the August revelations, I wouldn't even feel like this. I mean, I would miss him terribly, but I wouldn't be second guessing his actions while away. As it is, it's all compounded by the emotions of a pregnant woman and I just hate it! Although I am caring and affectionate, I'm not an emotional person. I don't wear my heart on my sleeve and I use reason and logic to make decisions in my life. That's been completely tossed out the window! I feel like I'm on emotional overdrive most of the time, and there's no way to control it. It's just so frustrating!

Well, there's really nothing I can do about it, is there. We talk and talk and talk and that's all we can do, for right now. His counseling starts up again next week and he's very optimistic. I'm glad that he's taking positive steps, but meanwhile, I feel like I'm always in investigate mode when it comes to him.

Lastly, I'm taking my daughter to see Clifford the Big Red Dog this Saturday. She has no idea she's going and I think she'll be so excited when we pull up and see her favorite red dog. My mother called last night and asked if we were going to see Disney on Ice next week. We thought about it, but hubby determined that the three of us would cost close to $100, and that was money we could use on Christmas, or the baby or any number of debt related items. My mother pipes up, "Well, I'd be happy to pay for the tickets, since I know how much "the babe" loves The Lion King." What?! Well, that was a surprise. So, I guess my little one will have two outings with her mother this month. I suppose this is what will happen when dad is gone...lots of outings to keep our minds off of the fact that he's not around. It's so depressing.

Fall Has Appeared

For the past week, we've been in the 70's (highly unusual weather for us, this time of year). It's been nice, but looking at the changing leaves with spring-like temperatures has been odd. Anyway, today, it hasn't gotten past about 50. The clouds are looming and it's been drizzling on and off all day. Now, it feels and looks like fall. I was having bit of trouble getting into the spirit of autumn, but I'm totally in the zone today (now, if I could just wake up...).

My hubby will be home all day tomorrow, then he's going to a party with the boys tomorrow night. I think he's feeling guilty about going because he keeps talking to me about it and asking me about the things they'll be doing there. Personally, I'm not interested in a bunch of guys getting sloppy, nasty drunk - telling each other, "Hey, man, I bet you can't drink three shots of Jager?" or whatever it is they dare each other to do. He hasn't been out with the guys in a while and I'm happy he has this opportunity for release, but I'm also a little paranoid. With everything that we've been dealing with, the paranoia is going to be there and he knows this. I just hope he remembers what thin waters we're on and he keeps his sanity during his partying. We'll see.

I'll probably hang out with my little one in the evening, maybe find a fall project or something to do with her, so she's not bored. I'm not very maternal, when it comes to things like that. She usually gets stuck doing things with me that I like to do but, she doesn't really seem to mind. Maybe that's her maturity. She even sat up and watched a t.v. show I was watching last night with no complaints. Perhaps it's also the fact that she's spending time with me.

Today, I felt a bit of a foot as I rested my hand on my belly this morning. It was so weird and special. I thought about what the baby was doing, her happiness level in a place so warm and peaceful. I also thought about how she'll look, when she finally blesses us with her presence. When I first saw my eldest, it was magical. I remember thinking, "Man, this kid is her daddy's through and through." She was so, so dark and her expressions were like his but there was no mistaking those eyes. Those were mine. She was absolutely breathtaking, and no one could tell me differently. She had a cone head for about two weeks, but nothing so bad as some of the newborns I've seen. This baby should be just as lovely...I hope. January seems so close and so far.

(How's this for sleeping so hard you don't know what's going on: my hubby came home last night at around 2 am and crashed. At fifteen to 5am, I woke him up (or so I thought), bringing him to the heights of passion. He fell asleep shortly thereafter and I assumed he would remember what happened. When I talked to him later today, he had no recollection...none whatsoever! He said it must have been like having a wet-dream or something and assured me it was no reflection on me...hmm...I don't know about that, but I always remember an orgasm.)

Sisters

There isn't a whole lot going on, right now. Just plugging away at work and trying not to strangle my out-of-state co-workers who don't seem to have a clue about what's going on. Last weekend was restful and uneventful. My hubby is still working overtime like it's going out of style. The babe was with me during UEA (sort of like in-service in other states) and we were pretty much tired of each other by Sunday morning. I was glad school was open and back in session on Monday.

I feel like with every passing weekend, I get a little bigger. Before long, I'm going to look like I'll topple over. I'm sure people will stop me in the street to say, "Can I get you a wagon/wheel barrow/shopping cart?" I can't even remember what it's like to be sexified in a dress and four inch heels. Or bust out in the tight jeans that you know make you look like mines would go off. Hah! I guess I won't know that feeling until sometime in the spring of next year (God willing).

I got a note from one of my sorority sisters. It seems they are making plans for homecoming which I will miss out on again. I'm only home (Nashville) every other year and this was my year so, I won't be there again until 2007. I was thinking about where my life might be in 2007; I'll be a mother of, not one but two girls. One will be 7, the other 2 (holy crap!). I will have been married (Lord willing, again) 9 years and in my home (if we're still in Utah) 6 years. I hope I would have changed jobs by then, but if not, I'd be hitting the 6 year mark with them too. Yikes! And, I would be 32 years old. Seems like a lot for a 32 year-old, but I still haven't done everything I want to, yet. I miss my sorors, but I think I couldn't handle being up under them all the time. There were 18 of us and that's a lot of estrogen and female drama. Granted, we are older but some things never change.

I also thought about what it would be like to go and see them if my family and I have moved to Vegas by then. Would I be different? Would a new city change me even more than I've already changed? Could I relate to them anymore? When I met some of them for lunch this past summer, it was so nice but there were things I just couldn't relate to anymore (and a lot of things I didn't want to). We (black women) have a tendency to be very closed-minded about the world. Because I didn't grow up and stay in one place, my outlook is so different. When they showed no tolerance with something, I couldn't understand why.

We're getting ready for our Halloween potluck at work and people are buzzing about what to wear and how to dress up on Monday. My costume is done, except for one minor detail. I was running ideas in my head about make-up and how to pull it off. I think I'll get up earlier that morning, just in case I have to sandblast my face and start again. It's fun to stray from the norm and I'm looking forward to being resident photographer that day. I'm also bringing my speciality - Kahlua cake...yum!

Surprise! I'm Home!

Thursday of last week went by pretty fast. I spoke to my hubby at around 1:00, who had finished his in-person interview and was feeling pretty confident. He said that he was going driving, then would hit the grocery store to pick up items for the hotel room. His plan was to leave Friday morning, first thing (around 5 am). I was happy that there would be only one more night to be without him.

Thursday night, I'd gotten me and the babe all settled in for the night. She was watching a Scooby Doo movie and I was in my room, watching a horror (hey, it's horror season, so I'm going to wear them out if I can). After a while, she comes running into the bedroom:

"Mama, come in the living room. I've got to show you something."
"-----, I don't have any clothes on."
"Just, please come into the living room, okay?"

So, I get myself up and head down the hallway. When I turned the corner into the kitchen, there was my hubby. I was so excited! He had parked in the driveway, so as not to give himself away (usually, I know he's home when I hear the garage door opening and the door from the garage to the house banging open). Once he parked in the driveway, he came in through the front door and quickly hushed up our daughter, so he could surprise me. It was a good trick, considering our five year-old has trouble keeping secrets.

He brought home plenty of souvenirs and gifts for both my daughter and I, then more goodies for my mother and sister. He also bought himself two suits (he's never owned a suit in his life! I can't wait to see him in one). They're gorgeous and look like they were tailor made (I'm sure he had to have an alteration or two for his size). He also dumped out the goodies from the sex store. Of course, our daughter caught sight of one and quickly asked, "What's that, mommy?" "Why can't I see it, mommy?" "Is it a toy?" Boy, oh boy. The older they get, the more inquisitive. We quickly hid "the toys" after the inquisition.

Friday would have been really nice, if I could have stayed home with him. He worked on things around the house, then had to leave for work. Saturday, we ran errands together and had a wonderful time just being in each other's company. I'm not sure what happened Sunday, but when I came back from church, he was sure in a mood. I woke him up and apparently too early because he was grouchy and snappy. Then, we spent the next several hours not speaking to each other. He slept on the couch most of the day, while my tired butt tried to entertain our little one. She mainly watched movies and brought me "poems" she was writing (she doesn't actually write them, but more or less reads in her mind what she thinks her scribbles say). Sometimes, the scribbles rhyme.

Monday was better and we talked on the phone a bit. I guess maybe, we'd spent to much time up under each other over the weekend. It happens...your space is compromised and you start feeling claustrophobic. That's the only thing I can think of. I know I'm extra needy these days, so maybe he just really needed a moment. Whatever it was, I'm glad the mood/funk didn't last long. In fact, I stopped by a couple of stores after work yesterday and got fussed at when I got home for not answering my phone. So, needy is needed by the needy too.

Talk to me, Baby

I spent 3 hours on the phone with my husband last night. Three! I can't believe it. We talked and talked and talked until I finally had to say, "It's midnight, honey and I have work tomorrow." It still took another fifteen minutes to say goodbye (we are so pitiful!). Only two more nights like this, then he'll be home. I really miss him and he obviously misses me.

I started to think about what attracts people to certain people. We have to begin with looks because, you can't very well through your brain on a table and tell someone you're interested in, "Investigate this and get back to me when you're done. Should we hook up?" Nope. It's all about the face and the body for the first impression. When I was in college, I was petite but curvy. I'm mostly muscle (not gross muscle, the tone kind) so, I could carry around 145 and it appeared to be 125 on me. I have been very fortunate in that respect my entire life. Of course, my hubby was hooked by the curves and the chest (he's a breast man), but also the fact that I was the center of the crowd. I suppose that's the closest thing to my brain-on-the-table theory as you can get. My personality came through, just with that one, brief situation.

For me, it was his damn hot body and the way he ate ice cream and fruit. Seriously! It was like someone crafting something. He had it down to an art form! Later I learned that the ice cream and fruit were his "practice pieces". Amazing! (It's good to be the fruit). Now, of course, I know him better than anyone and vice versa. The nice thing is that we're still discovering things about each other and I suspect that's what keeps the marriage from getting bland. When we were getting his oil changed Sunday, the tech guy says, "You two sound like an old, married couple." Then, I said, "Eight years coming up." Damn. Eight years...it was weird hearing it out loud. My hubby gave me a look that told me he was thinking the same thing.

With the stats the way that they are now and people divorcing at the speed of light, I feel really lucky to have my hubby and the time we've invested together. I hope we can beat the stats and prove that our society hasn't just given up on committed relationships. Who really knows what the future holds but, that is what I wish for.

"We all sleep alone." - Cher

Sunday was one of the best days me and my family have had for months...and we didn't really do that much. My hubby was home by 3:00 am Sunday morning and his "fear" was magically gone. He woke me up and we spent the next hour and a half in bliss. Sleeping in would have been terrific if our daughter hadn't kept coming in, waking us up every twenty minutes. I finally got up, got her some fruit loops and a movie, then came back to bed. By 9:30, we were up and getting dressed. We drove to my girlfriend's house in Salt Lake and dropped off the babe, then we headed to the Utah Massage College for a couple's massage. Unfortunately, the wait was listed as one hour and a half, so we headed out (who wants to sit around that long, only to wait an additional half hour for someone to come down and get you..."Not I, said the cat").

We ended up at the movies and saw Serenity. It was fabulous! (One of my coworkers lent me the series Firefly about two weeks ago and begged me to watch.) I was hesistant, since Sci-fi is more up my husband's ailey, but gave in and watched the only season it was on the air, with three unaired episodes in the collection. I was hooked! By the time the movie was released, I had invested myself into the characters and needed desperately.

Hubby didn't get to see the shows with me, but felt like he could follow the story okay. He liked it, but not nearly as much as I did. Afterwards, we went to get his oil changed. Sounds exciting, I know, but it was nice to have thirty minutes or so just to talk. When the car was finished, we picked up the babe and headed back to our city. Everyone was so tired, so we all took a nap...well, the babe took a nap. I took advantage of my hubby's new-found courage and ravaged him for an hour. No time to pass out, we took the babe to see the Wallace and Gromit movie (which turned out to be really cute).

We picked up dinner at Noodles & Company, then headed home. That evening, after the babe was tucked into to bed, we watched the recent version of The Amityville Horror. I read the novel back in Elementary and loved the original movie. This was well done, with some changes made that I thought were unncessary and some that were perfect. I was pretty well freaked out by the time we went to bed, but happy I didn't have to sleep alone.

Monday was emotional and heart-renching. Hubby was leaving for Vegas and he was so not "feeling it" anymore. He kept saying how he wished we could go with him, regardless of the fact that he was so excited a month ago. He also said that, although it is probably his favorite city, he just didn't want to exprience it again without us. He called several times during the day and I called him last night. He was trippin' over his room because of all the mirrors:

"Honey, the bed headboard is a solid mirror across the wall, there are mirrors on the side and there's a mirror over the bed."
"So, what are you wearing?"
"Nothing...and I'm starring at a dark, bald man with a hard...too bad you're not here"

We were on the phone for about forty minutes, when my calling card ran out. It felt like when we were going together and talked all the time. It helped me sleep then and it helped me fall asleep last night. I suspect we'll have to do this until he gets home. Even though he's normally not there at night, it's so different when he's completely out of town. This is also the longest we will have been separated (before, it was my three-day stint back home to Nashville for my bestfriend's wedding, back in July).

I'm trying to occupy my time, but I think about him a lot. He said that he thought about me the entire ride down to Vegas (about five hours with an hour gained PST, once you hit the Nevada border). In some ways, I do hope he does well on his testing and in others, I hope he doesn't. I don't know if I'm ready to live in the desert and leave behind seasons, the mountains and my mother. Growing up in L.A., I didn't have seasons and it was fine, but once we moved to the southeast and I got a taste of what the weather is supposed to do, I loved it! Also, my daughter and my mother have a great relationship. My grandmother and I were practically strangers, until we had to move in with her for a while. I learned to really like and love her and I'd hate to see my daughter and mother become strangers (my mother likes to travel, but she hates the heat). I don't think she'd make visits very often. Finally, the Wasatch Mountains are magnificent! They bring me such comfort and are so beautiful. I'd hate to leave them, too.

I suppose we'll have to wait and see what happens. If things go the way he wants them to, we'll have to sell our house and uproot our entire lives...I really enjoy stability, but I'm not afraid of change. It's the damn moving process I don't like. Ugh! Even thinking about it depresses me. Packing, wrapping, shifting, lifting...I'll shell out the money to pay for a moving company, this time. Hmm. I guess, if I'm talking about moving, part of me has already accepted that I may have to. How about that...

Police Escort, Please...

Hubby did not sleep all day yesterday, which means he had been awake since 6:00pm Wednesday. When we got home yesterday, he was awake, sweeping the floors. Okay, so I have no problem with my man cleaning, but omigod! What was he thinking? We went into our bedroom to chat and he proceeded to pass out. He slept for about twenty minutes, then woke up. We chatted some more and I went on and on about how I was still in need of more, at least where intimacy is concerned (oral is great and we do that all the time, now but he seems to be getting the bigger end of the stick since it is his fetish). Anyway, after I "made him feel like a man", he passed out again. This time, for about 30 minutes. By then, it was 8:30, so I woke him up for work. He got dressed, kissed me and the babe goodbye then left.

This morning at around 2ish, I woke up briefly and thought I had to go to the bathroom. I did, but decided it wasn't worth getting out of my warm bed and I figured I could hold it until 4, so back to sleep I went. A few minutes later, hubby crawls into the bed. I was like, "what the hell? Where did you come from?" He began to tell me that he headed to work, barely able to make it there due to falling asleep at the wheel every few minutes. He was like, "I think I almost hit other cars and trees about fifteen times last night". Then, once he got to work, couldn't function enough to get any work done. So, someone from work drives him home in his car, while a patrol car escorts them both here. Crazy! Of course, he didn't call me and tell me what was happening, he calls my mother. So, when I get to work, she's all, "How is your husband? He called me at around 1:00 to tell me he was getting a ride home, but he didn't want to worry you." Didn't want to worry me? I just don't understand the way men think, I guess.

So, today he's calling his doctor about the sleep results to see what the hell is going on. If there's a temporary solution (like medicine), he's going to go for it (Thank God, cause I don't know how much more of this I can take). He works from 2:00 this afternoon till 6:00 am tomorrow morning. Then, he goes back in at 10:00pm tomorrow night and gets off at 2:00am Sunday morning. This is insane! I know he's trying to save money for the baby, but my goodness! I work too. He doesn't have to try and manage everything by himself. Talking to him about this subject is like talking to a deaf person looking the other way. It's futile! At least he sounded better after sleeping most of the morning and part of the afternoon. I knew graveyard shift would do this to him again. He just didn't listen...

Tagged by "God's Child" - Six Things Survey

Browsing through the blog world, I saw this on a site and thought I'd partipcipate. Here goes!

6 Things Survey (I love these):

Things I want to Do:
1. Learn to play the guitar...well.
2. Finish learning Italian (and maybe Spanish too)
3. Have enough money to buy my hubby and little ones something extravagant and not feel guilty for doing it.
4. Have enough money to buy msyelf something extravagant and not feel guilty for doing it.
5. Travel outside of the country
6. Work somewhere that I totally love and could do for the rest of my life.

6 Things I Can Do:
1. Play the violin...well.
2. Charm the pants off anyone!
3. Bake the most amazing Kahlua cake you ever tasted, even me (and I hate chocolate cake).
4. Swim
5. Make people feel at ease in even the worst situations.
6. Remember by imprinting (when I'm not pregnant, my memory is amazing).

6 Things I Can't Do:
1. Be in small spaces for too long (I'm a touch claustrophobic)
2. Blatantly lie (It's just easier to be honest). Besides, I'm no good at lying. Never have been.
3. Let go of all the past BS that has intruded on me and my hubby's intimacy (I had one boyfriend who really screwed with my mind) I'm doing a lot better in my old age.
4. I can't go back to the south...I just can't do it.
5. Be purposefully hurtful. I have friends who have no problem telling people like it is, despite the person's feelings. I just always think of how I would want to be told things (but I am, by no means, a wuss).
6. force myself to be kind to hateful people. I just try to avoid them entirely.

6 Things That Make Me Attractive To The Opposite Sex:
1. My bodacious tatas (even after the reduction, I'm still a force to be reckoned with at 34 D).
2. Coke-bottle/Hour-glass body (when I'm not pregnant, that is)
3. Sex appeal (I'm no raving beauty, but I've got that in spades)
4. Happy disposition
5. My acceptance of me ( the men I have been with and have known have always appreciated that I'm comfortable with me and don't feel a need to conform).
6. Still cute, despite no make-up (I leave the war paint for special occassions, only).

6 Things I Say All The Time:
1. What the crap?
2. Freakin' (as in, "He's a freakin' moron")
3. What the hell?
4. Holy cow! (I attribute this to living in Utah far too long)
5. Trifling
6. "You just earned yourself a Jackass award!" (I usually say this to the idiots that cut me off or do something generally stupid on the road, which is pretty much daily)

6 Celebrity Crushes (in no particular order):
1. Wesley Snipes
2. Mickey Rourke (circa 91/2 Weeks and Wild Orchid)
3. Bruce Willis (I know, he's old enough to possibly be my parent, but I just love the way he smiles that crooked smile of his)
4. Vin Diesel (he's not cute in the traditional since, but he has that "something")
5. Dwayne Johnson (better known as "The Rock")
6. Christian Bale (even before Batman, I thought he was hot)

6 People I'm Tagging:
1. You
2. and
3. anyone
4. who
5. will
6. answer

Little Sleep, but Okay

Yesterday, I had a well-mommy visit with my ObGyn and hubby went with me. When we arrived, my nurse nearly flipped, yelling, "The other half! The other half! We never see the other half!" I guess mommies-to-be rarely come with their significant others. Hubby has wanted to join me for every visit, but hasn't been able to. I think he was a bit embarrassed by all the attention, but glad he could come. The doctor even seemed pleased to see him.

The doc broke out with the tape measure to measure the belly this time...a sure sign that I am on my way. The heart beat was right there with no searching on the doctor's part. My next visit will involve a "cheat" gestational diabetes test. I was thrilled to hear that he doesn't do the "yucky soda" version. That stuff is horrible! Instead, he has you schedule the visit just after you eat, then takes your blood to test the sugar levels. Sounds good to me! Anything to avoid that gross stuff. (For those who don't know, the sugar test usually involves one drinking an orange "soda" of sorts that's extra sweet. Now, normally, extra sweet doesn't bother me, but this stuff is in a class all by itself. It's horrible! You drink it at the speed of light, then wait a half hour for it to hit your bloodstream. After sitting there with that terrible taste in your mouth, you go in and get your blood drawn. Many a mommy has said they've thrown up from that stuff. I came close, but managed to hold it down).

Afterwards, hubby went to Michaels, of all places, to pick up Halloween decorations for the house. We then went to Target for more stuff, then to Mickey D's to pick up dinner. I don't know what those cheeseburgers did, but at 1:00am I was up and in the bathroom. After that, I couldn't go back to sleep. So, I went downstairs and uploaded some pictures online and downloaded new music to my mp3 player. Time well spent, I'd say. (I could have done something productive like organize the file cabinets or something. Yeah, right).

I stayed up and turned off my alarm before it woke up the babe, then got ready for work. It was freakin freezing in our house this morning, now that the temps have decided to drop down into the 30's at night. Hubby said, initially, that he'd wait until after his trip to Vegas to winterize the swamp cooler. Now, he's saying he'll do it before he goes (perhaps, this Saturday). Thank God! I had an extra blanket on the bed and a space heater in the babe's room. Her room was the warmest room in the house, by far! It didn't get cold gradually, but the cold came as a fast drop in temps when a storm blew through yesterday. The mountains are now dusted in snow. It's very pretty and I do like the fall crispness, but I just wish it wasn't so "crip".

Tonight is dance night and the balcony is closed, so I guess I'll take a book to read while I wait for the babe to finish. She really likes it and I'm glad we found one that she likes and is comfortable with. I noticed last week that she was show-boating for the teacher and put herself front and center. The only chocolate child - front and center. I wonder if that's where she'll be during the recital? Oh, recitals. I love recitals. Hers will be in December and, if I'm lucky, they won't have to roll me down the row to my seat just to see her.

The Corn Maze and Other Adventures

The corn maze was just that...a corn maze, but I guess I didn't realize how tall corn actually gets. Man, it was crazy! A lot of fun, at first. We went through and roamed around looking for the check points. Each checkpoint had it's own, unique marking tool so, you couldn't just mark everything up and leave. We initially just went in to roam, then got into the marking stuff pretty good.

There were 6 check points. We had a time finding the last one, but eventually stumbled upon it. After that, we were ready to go. Unfortunately, the maze was not ready to release us. Trail after trail we walked with no entrance in site. Some trails we crossed over several times. I'm sure we ended up walking more than five miles and boy did my body let me know that, that just wasn't okay. The babe kept fussing, "Mommy, why don't you just read the map so we can get outta here." Well, it just wasn't that simple. I knew if I could find a check point, I might be able to get us out. Finally, I found one. We cut through the corn and viola! The entrance appeared. We were so glad to be out of there and out of all that blasted corn. I'm glad we didn't do the Trail of Doom. The babe would have had cardiac arrest for sure (she could hear the voices and sound effects from where we were and was already freaked out).

Once home, we stripped, showered and crashed. It was a hard night. The next day, I prepared the gown for dyeing. It is a double-layered, nylon gown that reaches to the floor. The color was a very bright cherry. The black dye made it a deep purple...pretty, but not the color I was going for. I added dark green and the gown went chocolate. Very nice. I also finished the cape and was totally exhausted! Two little activities and I was ready to pass out. My energy level has dropped again and I know that it's in for the spiral downward from here on out. I keep trying to do what I did before, but to no avail. I've just got to learn to take it slow (but that's so hard for me!). Sunday, I spent most of the day resting, but did put a pot roast in the crock-pot early that morning, then made veggies and rice to go with it that afternoon. Delicious! I love comfort foods and I'm so glad I don't have to deny myself of them this year.

Some Satisfaction, Finally!

Wednesday, hubby was not home as anticipated. He had a previous engagement and had to leave shortly after I took the little one to dance class. When her class was over, we stopped at Burger King and picked up dinner (some appetites were going to be satisfied!). The next day, my department had a presentation at a lodge in Heber, Utah called StillWater. It's absolutely beautiful, nestled next to the Jordanelle river, surrounded by a breathtaking mountain terrain. Talk about a great place to have a retreat!

Anyway, I came into the office first, then my coworker and I headed up the canyon to the lodge to do our presentation and booth set-up. It was a good day, but very tiring. My phone didn't have service where we were, so I received no calls. Once we were back in Salt Lake, I answered a few emails then took off. My phone rang as soon as I left the building:

"Is there a reason why you haven't been around to answer or return any of my phone calls?" (in a somewhat suspicious tone)

"Um, yeah. I told you I'd be in Heber today. Our service doesn't work in Heber, you know that."

"Oh, yeah. I forgot, honey." (tone completely changes to the I'm-an-idiot-and-I'm-so-sorry tone)

"Well, isn't that interesting," I thought. I can't believe this is the same man that was treating me like I had the plague, two nights ago. All of a sudden, he's trying to find me. We then decide to talk a bit and I tell him about my frustrations with him and his fear. He promises he'll work on it, and agrees that his fear has effected our intimacy. Once I got home, I crawled into bed with him and made him remember why he's married to me. He was none too disappointed at my approach and both our modes changed for the better. I wanted to say, "See? Now was that so hard?"

He is working for the next twelve days and I'm sure that's going to drive me nuts. Supposedly, we're going to do stuff together on the 9th, while my girlfriend watches our little one. I'm hopeful, but not planning for it. Who knows what could happen between now and then. After the twelve-day stint, he'll be traveling to Vegas to test. I'm really nervous about that, but there isn't much I can do. He wants me to stay at my mother's while he's away, just in case something happens. You know, I really don't want to. Not that it wouldn't be nice at my mother's. I just would rather sleep in my own bed with my own stuff, you know? I'd have to bring the dog with me if I went so, added chaos. I'm still deliberating.

Tonight, I want to take my daughter to the Corn Maze/Trail of Doom. I kind of "hyped it up" for her, so she would see it as fun instead of a potential breeding ground for nightmares. We could just do the maze, but this seems like a fun way to get the season started. I just love the scary season.

Hot, Hot, Hot!

...and I'm not talking about the temperature outside. My hubby was off last night, so I had him all evening to myself. You'd think the fireworks would be going off, seriously. We watched a movie and then started in on another one. Fifteen minutes into it, he fell asleep. Well, I couldn't fault him for that. I know that he's probably so exhausted from the hours he's pulling and this was the first time in a long time he got to sleep at night. It was easy to forgive the nod-off. This morning, I was ready for him to make-up for it so, I'm nudging the hell out of him, trying to get things going (you know, strategic stroking and caressing) thinking, "I know this will get him. He can't possibly turn me down." I mean, talk about an easy lay.

When I notice he's awake, the following conversation takes place (I didn't want to conversate, if you noticed):

Me: "Hey don't you want to?"
Him: "Yeah, honey, but I gotta get up and get ready in a few minutes" (Please! That's never stopped him before)
Me: "Are you afraid?"
Him: "Well, I'm a little hesitant. I just don't want to do anything to put the baby in jeopardy"
Me: "The baby will be fine, honey. She's in the most protected environment there is."
Him: Well, I'm just thinking about last night and the past few nights. She (the baby) has been so busy and you've been so uncomfortable. I don't know how we can without it being too difficult for you.

The sentiment is sweet, but hell! Let me decide if I can or can't. Lord, I'm in need! Like I said, this is a new experience for me. During my last pregnancy, I would have been happy to have him stay as far away from me as possible. This time, I'm ravenous and it's really starting to get on my nerves that he's being so fidgety about our intimacy. Granted, our positions are very limited, but we can still get it on without too much difficulty.

Hubby is an oral fanatic, so he's been thrilled that I'm so sensitive and receptive to it, lately; however, I want it all! Call me greedy but, dammit, things are getting way too frustrating. He's off tonight too and I think I may have to rape his ass, if it comes to that. What do they say about denying pregnant women food? I think the same is true of all appetites.

Feeling Better...cough, cough, cough

Last night was the first night I actually slept soundly without waking up to run into the bathroom to cough up buckets full of phlegm (how's that for a visual). I'm still coughing and will probably cough for the next week or so. It's just like I said in a post earlier, as soon as things quiet down and everyone's expected to listen attentively, I start in with my old man coughing.

Yesterday was our all-staff meeting and the beginning of our week-long, faculty colloquium. These yearly meetings are always a mind blower because so many of our staff work across country. This is the only time we get a real visual of just how many people work for our University. Anyway, there are about 200 of us now (I remember when there were only 30 of us) and I was working really hard to try and remember name's to faces. I eventually gave up. My coughing started during the heart of our president's presentation and didn't stop until he presented the 5-year watches (my boss received his). Then, he presented a new award for "excellence" (there were only two handed out). Guess who got one of those suckers? I was totally blown away! A crystal weight with my name engraved as well as two, round-trip tickets to anywhere in the United States! Man, I must be living right. I was so excited! After that shock, we went to eat and "play" at Boondocks Family Fun Center.

Despite being preggers, I bit the bullet and drove the go-carts. That was more fun than I remember (I think I was a kid, the last time I did that). No Bumping signs all over the place (the only rule for the event) and what happens? Some rat-nosed kid bumps me. The only pregnant woman on the track and he bumps me (lil' .......)Afterwards, we played "Ice Ball" and won tickets for crap only a kid could love (all of which I gave to my daughter, once I got home). We then got accosted by every well-wisher hugging and (yes) even kissing me, before we finally headed out of there at 6:30 pm last night. It was a good day.

I got home expecting to find an empty house, but when I pulled into the garage, I saw my hubby's car. What the....? Well, turns out Mr. Fabulous overslept (again) and missed an appointment with a guy he was supposed to train. When I tried to get him to talk, he was so loopy that I could barely get anything out of him. He did congratulate me on my awards, but I don't think he really "got" it until this morning when he called to congratulate me again. He's been so tired and crazy, lately. I keep waiting for the "sleep doctor" to call with news on what he should do about his apnea. It's really starting to effect his life in a bad way.

I started work on part of my Halloween costume, Saturday. I am by no means a seamstress (totally self taught), but I do okay. I figure I should be done with the cape by this weekend and the great thing is, it's multi-functional. I can wear it during the winter, since my belly will probably not allow me a comfortable fit in my winter trench coat. The cape is super roomy.





The rest of the costume is in need of a dye job. It's lipstick red (purchased from eBay) and I will be dying it black (again, hopefully this weekend). I'm still trying to "construct" the idea of who I am in this costume. We always do it up big here, so I don't want to come off looking crazy. Last year, I did the disco diva thing, complete with sequined hat and halter top, black satin pants, platform heals, lots of gold chains, huge gold earrings and bangle bracelets, big Farrah-type hair with gold accenting spray and a gold chainmail belt to accentuate the effect. I was looking pretty good, but only a few people "got" it. (Utah: they're so clueless)

The pregnant lady is hungry, so I'm going to find some substanance quick and in a hurry.

I am soooo sick!

Yep. You read the time stamp correctly. I've been up hacking for hours! I can't find a comfortable position to sleep in and the only way I stop coughing is if I'm sitting straight up. What a nightmare! I've already called into my office and said I wasn't coming in. I think it truly blows their minds when they get a call from me at this hour. They all know how I like to go to bed.

My sides are so sore from hacking and hacking. Then, the baby thinks it's party time from all the movement. She hasn't slept either. She also keeps jabbing me in the bladder, so I'm running to the bathroom every half hour too. Sounds wonderful, don't it?

I sat in the bathroom and ran the shower for steam for about fifteen minutes. It helped, but I still can't freaking get to sleep! I'm going to take some more Sudafed (yep. I'm really starting to miss my Nyquil) to try to help with the "drip". I hope I can (if I do doze off) get up in time to take my daughter to my mother's house so that she can take her to school. Of course, hubby would be working overtime, so he can't take her. Ughh! What I wouldn't give for a really strong shot of something right now. And, tomorrow's the first day of dance too. The other dance mommies are going to love meeting one of he extras in Night of the Living Dead tomorrow. Maybe I'll sign autographs.

Happy first day of fall!

A Few Changes

I changed the template and straightened up a few "problems" I had with the last one. I hope this is easier to read for everyone (including myself). I've also added a couple of links from my former blog, my email address and my "100 Things" for more info about yours truly.

My cold has "kicked in" and the stages have begun. I sneezed for half the day and now, the coughing has started. I'll cough and sleep breathing through one nostril for about three or four days. The cough will be the last to go (I expect to see it depart around early October). I'll feel fine, but hack like a 3 pack-a-day smoker. It's really annoying. I can remember getting sick during exams in high school (stress and lack of sleep every time) and hack through the entire examination. I don't know what was more distracting, my hacking or everyone asking me every two minutes, "Are you okay?" or "Do you need some water?". I always wanted to yell, "No. I don't need any water, you morons. Water isn't going to make the phlegm go away now, is it." Thank goodness for tact.

I'm so excited! I finally found a dance studio for my daughter. For weeks, she's been asking me, "When am I gonna dance, mama?" or "When's my next recital?" Her last dance class was offered through a studio that actually gave lessons to kids in various daycares throughout the valley. How convienient for us busy parent-types! She absolutely loved it and I was glad to give her that opportunity. When daycare ended and Kindergarten began, I worried that she might not be interested or, if she was, I wouldn't be able to find anything for her that was in a decent price range. She is and I did! She starts to tomorrow at 5:15, once a week until December, when she has her recital. That's the best part for the kids, in my opinion. I loved my recitals - putting on make-up (the only time I could, as a child), getting the hair all prettied up, wearing my costume and being a complete show-off, legitimately, all night long. Then, there was the flowers from mom and dad after each performance.

Hubby was home when I got home last night. We've been watching Lost on DVD for the past few nights and are absolutely addicted! We were up till past 11:00 (which is late for me) watching the episodes on disc 4. I've asked my mother to TiVo the new season for us, until we can finish up season 1. It's extremely well written, well acted and (go figure!) original. We were both exhausted and fell asleep holding hands (I kid you not!) I think we both had the loving in mind, but were too tired to do anything about it. Oh, well.

Love Those Nooners!

Hubby surprised me with lunch on Friday. I was so thrilled to see him! We ate, talked and laughed a lot (things I really miss, when he's not around). Of course, nooners are much more fun, when you're not pregnant (we didn't even try). After lunch, the day went pretty quickly and the weekend started off with the babe and I shopping at Michael's crafts (we're now in search of everything Unicorn for the baby's room). We bought a couple of those velvet pictures to color and she and I had a good time doing that in bed before I had to put her down.

Saturday, we all got up and prepared to run errands (hubby was planning another retreat). The babe and I went to Wally World, then to Mickey D's for breakfast, then to Home Depot, then to my mother's house to visit. Then, all the girls (including my sister) drove into Salt Lake to go shopping. That was about a two hour excursion, then back home. I fixed our lunch, then set about to fixing the bar lights in the babe's and the master bathrooms. Man, you don't realize how dark a room is until you fix all the lights. After that project, I put in a dimmer in the baby's nursery (proud to say, all by my lonesome). :-) Hubby was so impressed, the next day, he was sure we'd have no problem attaching the ceiling fan in our bedroom.

That night, after visiting a few more stores, I began to get a very sore throat. I sucked on some ludens, but it didn't help all that much. The babe went to bed and I sat up and put the massager on my back (it was a busy day and my back was reminding me that a pregnant lady can't take on the world). At around 1:00 am, my hubby climbed into bed. He had driven to Idaho again and was all checked into his room. He said that he went to Wally World, walked by a mirror and caught a glimpse of himself. He said he didn't like what he saw. He was alone and looked it...unhappy without his family. He said, he went back to the room, grabbed his stuff and hit the road (this was at around 11:00 pm). He stopped for gas on the way back and grabbed a lottery ticket (you know, priorities). He said he was so happy to be home and back in my arms and then it happened, finally. He said, "I realized that I don't need or want anyone else. I have these problems, that's trued and I don't know if they'll ever go away. But, all I want is you...my beautiful wife." If I'd been a bit more awake, I probably would have cried.

So, after our talk and intimacy, I realized that I didn't feel very good...you know, the sore throat and all. It was still there and my head felt congested. By Sunday morning, I was sick as a dog! I stayed home and hubby went and bought the family breakfast and juice. I ate and laid on the couch with him most of the day. Although I felt like crap, it was nice to have him around so much. The babe alternated between playing in her new playroom downstairs, playing in her bedroom and playing in the living room where we were. She was all played out by bedtime.

I slept okay, but I still feel it, you know? All the prenatals and vitamin C must have fought off the bulk of what could have been (thank God!). I was able to take sudafed, but it's not Nyquil (or a good shot of brandy or whiskey. That'll stop a virus in it's tracks for sure!) Can't do that to the baby. I'm really tired and could literally lie down on top of my desk right now. I think people would probably notice a big round lady sprawled out on her desk, slobbering on herself.