Or me, anyway. I'm still questioning and questioning and questioning. I had another long discussion with hubby and basically told him that the wishy-washy shit has got to end. It's just too emotionally draining to deal with, right now. It's either, "My wife is enough for me," or "My wife isn't enough for me." I'm not saying that things are that black and white, but this one is pretty clear cut. For me, it would be easy. I can know that I would do whatever I needed to do to keep my relationship going. That's just the way that I am. I was never one who did well in casual relationships. I was at my best when it was one-on-one and we had what we wanted and there was complete monogamy. I don't think it's too much to ask for after nearly nine years together (oh, and for those of you who haven't kept up, we will have been together nine years in January and married eight years in April). Every year, month, day, minute and second counts. (I suppose I'm becoming pretty transparent, here...about the type of person I am, anyway).
Dragging things out is no fun and if this is going to end (heaven forbid!), I need to know so that I can grieve, heal or whatever.
(He just called again).
He's set up a time to meet with someone. I can't express how relieved I am to hear this! It's the step I needed...knowing that he wanted to work things out and regain my trust. It was so important that he stop putting it off and start acting. Actions are the only things that will rebuild trust. (Sorry, "good intentions", that's just the way it is). The next steps will be follow-up to see how the sessions are going and if he's feeling like progress is being made. It's all so complicated...you know, life and stuff.
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