Wednesday, May 24, 2006

I'm Still Here





No. I didn't drop off the planet, but I haven't posted very regularly on this blog for a bit (see the "other" site). My life has been a bit topsy turvy for the past couple of weeks. We begin with my mother-in-law's first stay at our home but first, a little history:

When hubby and I got together and eventually married, I had never before met his mother or stepfather. I didn't meet them until we were getting ready to move to Utah (summer of '98). We drove from Nashville to Missouri, where we stopped off for fourteen hours to see his family. It was the longest fourteen hours of my life!

Having always lived in major cities all my life, I was not prepared for the small town world that is my husband's childhood home. Oh my dear Lord! One grocery store, two gas stations, about a dozen churches, one large factory that everyone seems to work for, one hotel and two schools. I couldn't believe anyone would want to live there! His mother is a short lady, even shorter than me...very dark with eyes that seek out (just like his). She's had a hard life, but had an easy smile and seemed happy to see her oldest boy again. I didn't really get to know her in that short time frame, but I did get an opportunity to take in the area in which he grew up. It was no wonder to me why he left. Anyone who stayed after high school (with no plans for college or military life)was pretty much stuck.

Fast forward three years. Most of his family remaining at home drove out to visit for two days. Two days after over 1,000 miles. WTH? Still, I only got to know a bit more due to all the people; his four brothers, his niece, his stepfather and mother had all come. Getting to know anyone really didn't happen.

So, on this visit, his mother has been staying at his sister's house partially and our house. She's been bonding with the babe and Indy. I've lots of opportunities to talk with her and learn more about her. I even got some of the stories that hubby never discusses with me. It has been enlightening. She even said that she told her husband that she really likes me and that she's glad that we've seen fit to work things out and remain a couple. Surprisingly, she also said, "And I'm so glad both of your babies have the same daddy." Hmm. Definitely an indication of the living conditions where she comes from.

What's really been nice is how eager she is to spend time with our kids. It's not just that she hasn't had a lot of time with them, it's that she just genuinely loves children. I can't believe how many times, since she's been here, that I've been able to run here and there sans kids. It's been great! I always have to plan a month ahead for my mom to even think about watching my kids. Granted, she works and is very busy, but she's also quick to say, "My children are grown." She just isn't a typical grandma. I also have a feeling that when my uncle and his wife are here, they will be the same way as my mother-in-law. Damn, I wish they all lived here. Not that I want to ditch my kids, but it sure would be a nice alternative to dropping them off at the neighbors when we want a night out (once in a blue moon).

Other than the mother-in-law visit, I've been dealing with separation anxiety with hubby. When the bodybuilding show went bust (due to a very neglectful contractor who did not submit the tests of 20 or so contestants on time), he took several days off. It was wonderful! He was around and could help with the kids. I had adult conversation and someone to play with. Then, he went back to work and all communication seemed to stop (house cleaning, yard work, sleeping for work, preparation for work, the gym). I got a nice long phone message from him about spending time together and making sure we make time for each other, but I've heard this speech before. My availability is totally different than his and, truth be told, it is he not I that must make the sacrifices for time. I don't live at the gym. I don't run 100 errands a day nor do I need to in a week's time. He always knows where I am and where to find me, he just needs to give up the "extra stuff" and find me.

I'm trying to stay occupied, regardless. The babe and I each got a paint-by-numbers kit to do together. Hers is a scene of three dolphins jumping out of of wave. Mine is a Unicorn on cobblestones, which I hope looks nice enough to hang in Indy's room. We've had a good time together, painting. I've also soaked off the acrylics and have started to try and learn the guitar again (you just can't get the chords right if your nails are too long). Indy likes the sounds the guitar makes and the babe wants to learn to play, too. Maybe someday. For now, she's busy preparing for her dance recital and, that very weekend, will begin swim lessons again.

School will be out June 2nd and I'm on a waiting list for a summer program for the babe. Gosh, I hope they call. Otherwise, I have no idea what I'm going to do. I don't want to spend nearly $600 dollars a month for a program here in Salt Lake. We just can't afford that. Indy is making half turns and has nearly made it to her stomach, with me watching. My mother-in-law said that she has made it to her tummy. It's been so special watching all of these milestones again. Indy is really coming into her own.

2 comments:

Dee said...

wow, that is really nice. I thought it was going to be a horror story about your Mother in Law.

Enchantress said...

LOL! I think that's typical but my family is so not typical (we're a bunch of weirdos). My hubby loves my mother. It amazes his friends.