Workshop 101: Responsibility for Adults

I may have mentioned (I'm sure in lots of depth and with more details than anyone wants) that I take my neighbor's daughter, along with my own, to school each morning. It's her trade to pick them up in the afternoons. On Tuesdays and Thursdays, it's understood that she'll stay a bit longer because I have to drive in from Salt Lake. Well, this arrangement has worked okay until recently. (Before this, another neighbor was picking her up and her ADD, out-of-control grandson was doing all sorts of things that made the babe come home in tears. We had to end that with a quickness).

The latest fiasco happened when she called one morning to tell me her daughter wouldn't be riding to school because she wasn't feeling well. She was going to give her some medicine and, most likely, take her to school later in the morning. Fine. I got my girls all situated and we headed to school. This happened to be a day I work from home and when 3:45 rolled around and no babe, I started to worry. Before I could even call the neighbor to see if she, perhaps, went to the store or something, the babe called me.

"Mom, almost everyone has left and I'm the only one here."

"______ didn't come to pick you up?"

"No. I haven't seen her."

"Alright. Just sit tight. I'll be there in a few minutes."

I scrolled through my phone to call the neighbor.

"Hey, _____. Did ____ go to school today?"

"Oh, no...she didn't. I just woke up and realized I didn't call you and tell you."

Okay. I'm thinking, have you been sleeping all day? You knew your daughter was home and you had no intentions of picking up my kid. The phone system still works. Your ass could have called. Meanwhile, my kid is wondering if she'll ever get home.

After I picked up the babe, we talked in the car about responsibility. I told her that this was why I stressed it so much with her. Being responsible is important, not just for yourself, but for those around you. Being irresponsible can cause problems, like what happened today. If a person is irresponsible, it could potentially cause harm to themselves and others. She seemed to understand clearly (examples that involve yourself are always helpful). After I talked to her dad about it, he was through! He was immediately on the check-for-other-alternatives bandwagon. I was certainly in agreement. So, my coworker will be picking her up on Tuesdays and Thursdays, while hubby and I will take care of Monday, Wednesdays and Fridays.

Sunday evening, I called my neighbor to tell her that she wouldn't have to worry about picking up the babe. I let her know that I would get her on Mondays, Wednesdays and Fridays. She quickly asked if someone would be picking her up on Tuesdays and Thursdays. I told her yes and that it was all taken care of; she wouldn't have to worry about the babe anymore. She sounded a little bummed. I didn't dare come right out and tell her that she wasn't dependable and that every call from her made me wonder, "What is it now?". She's a stay-at-home mom with major depression issues. I didn't want anything I said to be taken the wrong way (and with this discussion, it was hard enough making sure I said the right thing). I assured her that I was fine to take her daughter in the morning, still.

Hubby's new work schedule will actually allow for one of the two of us to get her all month (except this Thursday). He now works four, 12-hour days and then gets four days off. The cycle has him off for January most Tuesdays and Thursdays. Cool! He'll have to get used to this schedule, though, to truly reap the benefits. I'm not sure I could do it, but he has the wherewithal to handle it.

The neighbor called yesterday. I'm not sure what she wanted, but when I called her back and left a message, she didn't call back. She probably thinks I'm the evil mother who doesn't want people picking up her kid (after the incident with the other neighbor and now her). I second-guessed myself for a minute, then I remembered how frantic I was when I couldn't find her mother-in-law's house that one day. She had dropped her off there instead of taking the babe with her to her daughter's eye appointment. Who does that? Keep my child with you, and we'll meet up later. How hard is that? I wouldn't dump my neighbor's child onto another relatives lap. That child was put under my care. So, if I got drive all over the place with him/her to take care of 1,000 errands, that's just what I have to do. Perhaps I'm painfully responsible. I'll look into it.

It's still below freezing here. How the snow is able to fall with these temps, I'll never know (usually, it has to be above freezing to get precipitation). Anyway, I'm actually looking forward to 40 degrees tomorrow. I'm also having a lunch-date with hubby. Love those!