Tuesday, October 17, 2006

Is My Daughter Hormonal?



My oldest, who is only six, is dealing with a lot of sensitivity these days. Not long ago, we were having a girls' weekend and I rented Ever After for her to watch (after all, it is a Cinderella story and the babe is all about the princesses). So, we get to the scene where Danielle arrives at the masquerade in her stunning gown, complete with fairy wings and the evil stepmother rips the wings off of her dress. I had actually gotten up to go to the bathroom, so I didn't see the scene myself; however, when I came back, the babe was sobbing...not crying, not whimpering. We're talking full on funeral tears. I asked her what was wrong, and she restated the scene description above telling me that, "They were so mean to her!" between sniffles and red eyes. I sat with her and consoled her. For ten minutes (no exaggeration on the time) she carried on then finally calmed down.

A couple of weekends ago, Imitation of Life came on. Now, I know I'm behind having never seen this movie until then. I'd heard wonderful things and I was not the least disappointed. The babe had been practicing on her roller skates in the kitchen. Every so often, she would come back into my room where I was watching the movie and ask questions about what was happening with the characters and so forth. Honestly, I don't remember when it happened but, at some point, she found her way onto my bed totally immersed in the story. By the time the housemaid Annie is dying in bed, the babe was in hysterics. My hubby called her into a different room and tried to get her to talk about other things (attempting to get her mind off of the drama that was unfolding on the television screen). It didn't work. She came back into the room to resume the movie and involve herself with the characters once more. It was so sad and I was struggling to keep it together myself. The babe didn't care. She let the tears flow...this time, for a substantially longer time than with the aforementioned movie.

(Oh! And one day I grabbed her by the underarms to lift her up into a shopping cart. When I went to wipe my face later, what I smelled was not stinky kid smell, but someone who needs deodorant desperately. Dang it! She's too young!)

The scarier thing that seems to be happening is her intense anxiety about her sister. She has awakened from nightmares about her sister being abducted. Yesterday, she hardly ate lunch at school and ended up crying in a teacher's arms because she was convinced someone was going to kill her sister. My hubby believes it's due to their being such good buddies and such close sisters (even with the age gap) that she has anxiety about loosing their close connection. The babe has spent a lot of time home with us. Oh, certainly. She plays with kids at school, at summer camp and at her daycare when she went, but at home? Very rarely is she just hanging out with the neighborhood kids. It's just now that she's showing interest in doing so. Most of the neighbor kids are boys and (in an earlier post) the girls next door are now living with their dad. Plus, they (the girls next door)weren't the best of playmates, in my opinion. Maybe I'm too much of a snob but, they had some not-so-great habits.

Now, it's turning cold and many of the kids are going back indoors to play. Granted, some of the hellions will be out rain or shine, snow or sleet. But, with the babe's sensitive immune system, she won't be out nearly as much. So, who does she have? Me, dad and sissy. I can't help but wonder if somehow this is anxiety that I bred into her with things I've said to her. You know, when I tell her, "Don't hold your sister, or she might fall and bump her head," or " Make sure you're keeping an eye on your sister. Don't let her pull on those cords. We don't want her to electrocute herself." It's nuts! I have to keep her safe and help big sis understand why, but am I starting things I shouldn't within her? My coworkers think that she just may be a sensitive soul. If that's the case, it's going to be interesting dealing with teen angst. Ugh! I'm not ready! What if it's starting now? At six?! They say, every generation matures a bit earlier than the last. I remember going to the mall to buy a C-cup bra at just over ten years old! Is that what's in store for me?

All I can do is pray and hope for the best. I don't understand it and it's hard to watch, but I'll be there for her and help her the best that I can.

5 comments:

Miss Construed... said...

Yikes! Makes me very glad I have two boys!

I know its quite unusual at her young age- but if you were an early developer then the chances are that she will be too.

A C cup at 10? I'm not that even now!

As for the emotional - be proud you've raised such a compassionate little girl- the world needs fewer hard-noses!

Icey said...

My babe is sensitive also and it often drives me nuts! If she does not get something right the first time...tears. If her dad raises his voice at her..."You don't love me" then tears! The good thing about her sensitivity though is that she is caring and loving which I LOVE.

I love Ever After, I cried too the first time I watched it

Dee said...

all kids are hormonal all the time.
for example this quote from here
in regards to a book called "raising boys".

I know you're raising girls but it's still interesting. I wonder about the same for girls.

Apparently, when a baby boy is born, he has the same amount of testosterone as a 12 year old boy! The testosterone levels will settle down, but will peak again around 3-4 years. It keeps going up and down, and by the age of 11-14 it will rise by 800%.

Enchantress said...

rn_buffoon - Some days, I wished I'd had boys. I tell all my girlfriends that have them how much easier they've got it. :)

You're so right but, I do hope she builds some resilience to the hard knocks of life. I'd hate for people to abuse that sensitive heart.

Icey - Oh, man you said it! Whenever we scold her, she gets this look of, "Oh, mommy and daddy are gonna haul off and kill me." It makes me sad, but we do have to discipline (she does this even if we send her to her room). But like your babe, she's so loving. She covers her sister in hugs and kisses everyday.

Enchantress said...

God's Child - Omigosh! That's crazy! Well, that explains why the stats say a boy thinks about sex every six minutes. With testosterone levels like that, who wouldn't?