Trying to Understand What Happened

Hubby was all about doing the romance thing again, then all of a sudden it stopped. Not sure why. Last night, we were watching t.v. and prime snuggle time was in effect...nothing. I rubbed his back, had my arms around him. I even managed to turn up the affection knob on high beam with the baby in my lap...nothing. I made an off comment, while holding her; "Why don't you carry us to the room, honey?" Merely joking, nothing more. He says, "Um, you're too heavy." Nothing else. I was joking and he was totally serious. Then, I started to get paranoid. After he left for work, I left him a message on his phone basically stating that I felt he was avoiding affection with me because of my weight. "Are you avoiding me because I'm heavier? Do you not want to be around me because of it?"

After work, he calls and says he got the message and wants to talk. Of course he loves me and thinks that I'm just thinking towards us negatively. I object and tell him that is how I perceived the situation the night before. He goes on to say that perhaps, because of past situations, he sees me watching tv and just turns that avenue off, thinking that I don't want to be bothered. I told him, "You can turn off the t.v. It's a pasttime. I don't care." I hope he heard me. I heard him, but am still not sure about the situation. He feels that I doubt him more. Maybe I do. Maybe that comes when you're married as long as we've been in children are in the mix. You devote time and energy to the kids, and not too each other. That needs to be revamped a bit, I think. There's room for all of us.

He's off this weekend and I wanted my mom to watch the kids for a couple of hours. I was thinking, this will give us some time together to talk and just be a couple. Not so much. Mom is going to be busy with yard work and my sister is fine with the babe, but I know the baby sends her into meltdown. She just dosen't have a knack for little babies. She appears and is always very uncomfortable with them.

So, on the tele last night, I was watching Discovery Health about a little boy (about a year old) who weighs (6 stone) 84 pounds. He has "Momo Syndrome." It was discovered in San Paolo, Brazil and has only affected 4 people (including this little boy) that they know of. Archie (the little boy) was born only an ounce heavier than my youngest (8lbs 4oz). Initially, he needed a feeding tube to eat. After about a month, he couldn't get enough to eat. He was fussy and cried a lot. They tried everything to make their new baby happy. Then, the baby began putting on weight; a pound a week. Good Lord! The doctor's kept him for a bit and found that he didn't eat any more than other children his age. They began to suspect a overgrowth syndrome and began researching the various types discovered in other people.

I felt for his poor mother, especially when she said that people would just assume she was over feeding him or make comments to her about his diet. She was a bit on the heavy side herself (because of medication she takes, according to the narrator) so, people would just assume she didn't know what to do. Never mind the fact that she had two older children within normal weight ranges. She was told by doctors her son was "Life-Limited" and this definitely had its effect on the morale of the family. Sarah (the mother) went to Brazil to see the only other living person with the syndrome. Danielli (the girl) was 17 and was living a normal life. She was large, but not as large as people may have thought. She was friendly, active and doing well in school. She had the same overlobe, like Archie, and bowed legs from the weight, like Archie. This gave Sarah so much hope and alleved her fears that her little boy may die. It was a worthy show to watch, so try and catch it if you can (if it comes on again).

Finally, I did start writing again. Just blogging about stopping made me get back into the mode. I was even brainstorming in the car about how to work in the conflict of the story and more character development. It's about 25 double-spaced, typed pages long now. I still have a ways to go and I'm eager to have my hubby read it and give me feedback. Funny. Even when we're at odds, I always need him.