Six More Days...

We're getting excited about the trip. I can't believe it's so close, and we still really don't have a clue what we're going to do (but it's fine). In fact, I rather like not having a complete plan. That way, if we don't do something on the plan, there are no hurt feelings or disappointments. I believe the only truly planned items will be getting to and leaving the hotel from the airport. I'll be calling them today to see which shuttle service they use or recommend. Again, it's sort of weird thinking about not using a car because we're such heavy car users.

This is a picture of the hotel where we're going to be staying. Unlike the other resorts we use, they don't have a kitchen. That's always a nice feature whenever we go somewhere because it gets old eating out all the time (well, at least for me it does). We investigated and found out that the sales tax is 8.5%. Yikes! That's how much it is in Nashville, which doesn't make any sense, to me. Tennessee is now part of the lottery club. They could stand to take that down a bit.

The weekend was uneventful, but nice. Friday evening, hubby made us Turkey burgers for dinner. The baby went to sleep early, the babe watched a kiddy movie, and mom and dad watched Final Destination 3. It was gorier than the first two and the story finally came to an end. The acting was fairly decent as well, although I didn't recognize any of the actors. Saturday, we picked up hair for the babe (it's almost time to redo the braids), stopped at Ross Dress for Less in search of good tennis shoes for the trip. That was a decent stop, since we weren't there for very long. I also bought a new hair dryer and curling iron (ceramic) that I absolutely love! Who would have known they'd make such a difference? Seriously, though. I'm starting to ache for my braids, again. The whole "doing your hair everyday) thing is so overrated.

Yesterday, we participated in the JC Penney, VIP shopping night. I bought about $180 dollars worth of "Back to School" stuff and fall baby gear. I would have spent nearly $400, without the sale. I'll say it again, I HATE SHOPPING! I only do this for the deals. Otherwise, I would not do it. I was so irritated by the time we left, that I just wanted to go home and hide under the bed; however, I don't regret going. I think the irritation was agitated because we had hit up three stores before going to Penneys (looking for a walker at a decent price). I think that was too much for anybody. Oh, well. At least we know where we're going to get the walker, whenever we get it. It'll be good for her legs. The babe loved hers and pretty much destroyed it, by the time she was ready to walk on her own.

School starts in a couple of weeks and we're still toiling over how to get her there and how to pick her up. I'm just going to try and stay as positive as I can and have faith that everything comes together when it's supposed to.

Trying to Understand What Happened

Hubby was all about doing the romance thing again, then all of a sudden it stopped. Not sure why. Last night, we were watching t.v. and prime snuggle time was in effect...nothing. I rubbed his back, had my arms around him. I even managed to turn up the affection knob on high beam with the baby in my lap...nothing. I made an off comment, while holding her; "Why don't you carry us to the room, honey?" Merely joking, nothing more. He says, "Um, you're too heavy." Nothing else. I was joking and he was totally serious. Then, I started to get paranoid. After he left for work, I left him a message on his phone basically stating that I felt he was avoiding affection with me because of my weight. "Are you avoiding me because I'm heavier? Do you not want to be around me because of it?"

After work, he calls and says he got the message and wants to talk. Of course he loves me and thinks that I'm just thinking towards us negatively. I object and tell him that is how I perceived the situation the night before. He goes on to say that perhaps, because of past situations, he sees me watching tv and just turns that avenue off, thinking that I don't want to be bothered. I told him, "You can turn off the t.v. It's a pasttime. I don't care." I hope he heard me. I heard him, but am still not sure about the situation. He feels that I doubt him more. Maybe I do. Maybe that comes when you're married as long as we've been in children are in the mix. You devote time and energy to the kids, and not too each other. That needs to be revamped a bit, I think. There's room for all of us.

He's off this weekend and I wanted my mom to watch the kids for a couple of hours. I was thinking, this will give us some time together to talk and just be a couple. Not so much. Mom is going to be busy with yard work and my sister is fine with the babe, but I know the baby sends her into meltdown. She just dosen't have a knack for little babies. She appears and is always very uncomfortable with them.

So, on the tele last night, I was watching Discovery Health about a little boy (about a year old) who weighs (6 stone) 84 pounds. He has "Momo Syndrome." It was discovered in San Paolo, Brazil and has only affected 4 people (including this little boy) that they know of. Archie (the little boy) was born only an ounce heavier than my youngest (8lbs 4oz). Initially, he needed a feeding tube to eat. After about a month, he couldn't get enough to eat. He was fussy and cried a lot. They tried everything to make their new baby happy. Then, the baby began putting on weight; a pound a week. Good Lord! The doctor's kept him for a bit and found that he didn't eat any more than other children his age. They began to suspect a overgrowth syndrome and began researching the various types discovered in other people.

I felt for his poor mother, especially when she said that people would just assume she was over feeding him or make comments to her about his diet. She was a bit on the heavy side herself (because of medication she takes, according to the narrator) so, people would just assume she didn't know what to do. Never mind the fact that she had two older children within normal weight ranges. She was told by doctors her son was "Life-Limited" and this definitely had its effect on the morale of the family. Sarah (the mother) went to Brazil to see the only other living person with the syndrome. Danielli (the girl) was 17 and was living a normal life. She was large, but not as large as people may have thought. She was friendly, active and doing well in school. She had the same overlobe, like Archie, and bowed legs from the weight, like Archie. This gave Sarah so much hope and alleved her fears that her little boy may die. It was a worthy show to watch, so try and catch it if you can (if it comes on again).

Finally, I did start writing again. Just blogging about stopping made me get back into the mode. I was even brainstorming in the car about how to work in the conflict of the story and more character development. It's about 25 double-spaced, typed pages long now. I still have a ways to go and I'm eager to have my hubby read it and give me feedback. Funny. Even when we're at odds, I always need him.

What Happened? Life, I guess.

I could write to you about the millions of excuses I have for not writing. It's been about a week, now. The momentum is still there, I just have to put pen to paper (or typing to screen) and get going again. It would be different if I'd had a block or something but, alas. This is not the case. There is a lot happening that I will share, although, I can't use any of these activities as an excuse. No excuses! I gotta get back to it.

So, the last few weeks we've been dealing with technical drama. I could go into all of the logistics, but I don't want to bore the masses. At any rate, it's made working quite minimal (hence, lots of extra time to write, right?) Nope. Not so much. Just researching more on our impending vacation; what to do, where to go, how to get there. Truly, I could be doing this on my own time. Yeah, like that's gonna happen ! We have gone to the movies, twice! We discovered that our youngest really doesn't cry much so, we took her to the movies with the babe to see Ice Age 2. Not a peep! She mainly slobbered all over me and baby talked in my ear. With this discovery, we will be off to the movies again. Wow! That didn't take long at all. Oh, and she's sleeping through the night. Nice. I've been up at 4:30 a.m. again, walking the hell out of my treadmill. Woohoo! Now, if only the water retention would go away so I could see some weight loss, dang it!

On Sunday, we went to see Monster House. Oh, I highly recommend this one. It was a fun scary that had the babe hiding in her daddy's shirt, but too intrigued not to watch and wait for more suspense and scares. It reminded me a lot of the Frightneners, with Steven Spielberg's "child hero" theme tossed in well. I'm sure it will be available for video by Halloween. Hmm. That seems so far away but, then again, August is only a few days away.

My hubby/boyfriend has returned! He showed up with flowers and a date for lunch at the New Yorker, last week. How romantic! Then, Sunday, he came home and played a song that reminds him of me ("Fortunate" - Maxwell). We slow danced. Slow danced? I can't even remember the last time we did that. I'd say, years ago. It was so sweet and special. He used to be like this all the time, but not so much for a while. It's back and there are no complaints here.

I'm going to write. I will! I must! No more excuses. Pen to paper.

A Logical Mind Drowning in the Creative Process

My story is clipping along and I still seem to be full of ideas. I had a thought yesterday; what genre does it fall into? I haven't a clue! It's sort of a drama without being too dramatic, I guess. I've really shifted gears with this story, as opposed to what I've written in the past but then, well actually, what I've written in the past has kind of fallen into all sorts of categories. For example, I remember writing a story, that was based on something that happened to me as a teenager, in my creative non-fiction class. It was definitely a drama and was well received. I even remember reading it aloud during a fundraising event. I was very proud of my little story and a few people told me after the event that it brought them to tears. Wow! I conjured emotion. It was an empowering experience to say the least.

In my fiction class, I wrote a story about a woman who (along with all of the other women in her family) had the ability to "sense". I suppose that would fall under science fiction or occult. And just yesterday, I stumbled upon a story I started working on last year (I think) that's definitely horror (it's actually damn good and I should work on it some more). It's rare that I feel that way about what I write, but sometimes I do. I'm not sure if I feel my current short-story is damn good, but I think it's definitely interesting. I kind of envision it being placed in a book with other short-stories. Perhaps a passage or two would be found on a graduate entry test and the question would be, "Summarize the passage above and identify the literary tools used" or maybe, a high school teacher would assign this book of short-stories, including mine, to her class and ask that they choose one to write a paper on. The student with the highest score would have written a paper on my story. Dreaming again, I know.

One thing is for sure; writing is going to get me somewhere. It already has, but not in the creative aspects that I wish for it to. My job definitely requires that I write and write well. I've also done a lot of technical writing (step-by-step stuff) that has ended up in manuals and instruction booklets which, consequently, as boosted my resume. On the off chance when I've written for something creatively, I've gained something even if it was small. I once submitted an entry about my husband for a popular male shaving cream that ended up in the running. I didn't win, but we were sent all sorts of product that hubby still uses. I remember submitting an entry for a popular fabric softner and won, not only some of the softner, but a blanket, and several freebies at Blockbuster. Then, there's the article I wrote and was paid for in college. Once the editor had done her deed, I barely recognized it but, I was a paid writer in print. Woohoo! It's just trying to get your foot in the professional door that's tricky. I know that, I expect it and I'm ready for it. I'm use to rejection, so I feel I've got a leg-up on that aspect. How's that for positive thinking! "Throw my manuscripts back at me a thousand times, I can take it! "

On a personal note, my kids seem to be feeling loads better, but my hubby is experiencing a very instense form of male P.M.S. I'm ready to put him out! He did, however, make a good point about something; why do we always self-sabotage when he does have the time to spend with the family, i.e. his days off? We usually end up spending at least one of his days off arguing or at odds with each other about something. I think it has to do with the fact that either he or I knows it's short-lived, which frustrates us, so then we're amped up and stressed about it so much that we can't enjoy the time that we actually have. It's a vicious cycle and we really need to find a way to put an end to it, truly. It's not healthy for either of us.

Currently, we're being painfully polite (when we do talk) and it's starting to get on my nerves! My other theory on the subject? It's been a little while since we've been intimate. He was truly bummed when he came home on Friday and Aunt Flow had made her appearance while he was out running errands. Of course, I have no way of "shutting things off" and he's not the only one who's frustrated. I didn't know I was going to be so early, but there it is. I've always felt like we're so much better when we get our sessions in during the week. We rarely argue and we're so much nicer in the grander scheme of things. If I've said it once I've said it a thousand times; graveyard shift sucks AND it looks like he'll get it again in August. So, that would make a year and 8 months on graveyards (from 08/06 to 01/07). Ugh! That's enough to make anyone irritated and frustrated. At least I'm not downing the fruity-alchy drinks (although, that wouldn't be such a bad thing).

Finally, it appears we are going to go on vacation despite our brokeness (and guess what's scheduled to "show up" during that week). I just can't win for loosing. Anyway, we're going somewhere I've never been and I'm getting excited. Growing up in Southern California, Northern California almost seemed like an entirely different state. It will be a fun trip and I'm trying to convince hubby that the kids may enjoy the wine country, too. Hey, it's worth a shot. Anyway, more on the impending vacation later. Hope you're all well and enjoying your summer (and I'm really still reading everything that you post, even if it takes a few days. Honest!)

A Quicky Post

Hi, all! Oh, man. I just checked the date and it's been a while. I'm still writing and writing and writing. It's coming together and I'm still mostly happy with the work. There's still lots to be done, but I've got to get moving on the children's story if I'm going to get it submitted in time. Turns out that the contest people supply the illustrator. Bummer! I was so looking forward to my friend drawing/painting/sketching the pictures for me. Oh, well. If/When I get my own contract, I'm making sure he's my illustrator. Complete artistic control, no doubt!

Life on the homefront is pretty boring, right now. Hubby's still frustrated with his job, the babe is still reigning and queen of kingdom and my youngest has a cold, poor thing. Summer colds are awful, but the great thing about babies is they take it all in stride. She just laughs and snots, rubs it all over her head, then laughs again. We took the girls swimming on Friday evening and, although the pool is indoors, it was Indy's first time and she shivered for about ten minutes, then she was great. By Saturday morning, she was a haven of mucus. She's doing better today...I just wish I could give her meds for it.

So, Happy Independence day, and all that. We truly are fortunate in the U.S. and, if I can be a bit political for a moment, Bush needs to get it together before he screws it all up for us. Seriously! Whoever is inaugurated in 2008 has got a helluva lot to try and fix and I hope *she* (ahem), has the support *she* (ahem) needs to make things better. Until then, I hope for a quick resolve to this war and whenever our soilders do return home, I hope they can make the transition back into their family lives as smoothly as possible (nobody ever says anything about that, but you know it's got to be tougher than frozen crap to do). Ugh! Another gross metaphor. Oh, well...Happy Indendence Day! Now, go eat BBQ until you blow up. (Dang it! I did it again!)