Where to begin.... Hubby and I began our counseling and things seemed to be improving, until we had our biggest battle over the weekend. They just seem to get worse and worse. We've only had one session of counseling, so we haven't learned a lot of communication tools yet. We tried the one we did learn, but perhaps we need a manual or something. We're just not doing things right and our patience is running thin.
I love my hubby, dearly but lately it seems we just cannot be on the same page about anything. We blow up at the smallest things and we're so easily agitated. He pretty much said he thought we should cancel the next session because it just seems like we're not getting anywhere. I was totally heartbroken...but then again, so was he. This morning, he called and said he wanted to keep the appointment. I told him last night that I though it would be a good idea, simply because the therapist is a third-party, totally removed from us. We're too close to the problems to deal with them.
I've wondered lately, for me, if it wouldn't be such a bad idea to medicate for a bit (insert Tom Cruise tirade). I'm not one for meds and I truly believe that behavior meds should not be permanent. I haven't gotten so far as to ask the doctor if it's a good idea or not. Perhaps time will tell (if we can make it past two counseling sessions).
Meanwhile, my house is coming together. We've begun grouting and the basement is looking better and better with each passing day. Pretty soon, we'll have the floor sealed and the trim in place. I'm hoping we'll have it all together by fall...it's strange to think about fall. I wonder what my life we'll be like then? We'll hubby and I be in a better place? We'll I be planning for the holidays in our new, spacey basement (family area) or figuring out how to prep the rooms for sale? Ugh! It's just too depressing. (BTW, that's what I'd want the meds for. I really haven't been right since last fall. After all the illness and drama this past winter? It's a wonder I can even work up the gumption to get up and go to work everyday).
I'm in the dark right now, but I'm hopeful that light will come soon. I need something happy to look forward to. I still attend my church regularly and enjoy the company of my coworkers, but I have yet to do my girls' night out (I know, I know). I'm thinking sometime next week, when I have a couple of days off. I hope hubby's not so out-of-sorts that he puts of fireworks. This will be Indy's first year of really being able to enjoy them.
Rambling is the theme for today's post, obviously. It's sort of the way my life's been for the past couple of weeks. We've got some work super-spy or something who's blowing the whistle on people for using the Internet for purposes other than work. The audacity! I'll have to really work hard and make time to post from home. I'll be more consistent because I truly need this outlet.
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4 comments:
Hang in there Enchantress; I hope things work out for you and your Hubby. Give it your all and I'm sure even the hardest of obstacles can be overcome by love; and as long as you're sure of That ( and you say you are) then things will always work out in the end. You'll both be stronger for it, too.
And please Don't neglect yourself in the process either! You gotta look after yourself before you can take care of the rest!
x
THank you so much for the encouragement and I'm hoping for the same for you, too. :)
All the best with your counselor. I think there is a great reward for both of you in going through all this trouble. I once saw a slogan that read "nothing worthwhile is ever easy".
I believe that's true, GC...sometimes, when times are hard, it's hard to remember those simple truths. I'm glad I have you guys around to remind me. :)
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