Intimacy...the Missing Piece

Friday, Saturday, Sunday and Monday of last week, my hubby was off work. We lost a day to a really dumb argument, but ended up having amazing make-up sex. Once it starts it doesn't stop, sort of like chips; you can't have just one. Over a two-day period, we were at each other five times...FIVE. Tuesday, on my way to work in bliss, I started thinking about how things get between us if the intimacy slacks for whatever reason. It could be his schedule, it could be my TOM or it could just be we're too tired to even see. Whatever the reason, if things aren't "popping off" at least three times a week, we're absolutely pissy with each other.

Initially, I thought, "Oh, this is normal. A healthy married or attached couple is probably intimate several times a week. No wonder we're going crazy." Wrong. The more I read and listen, the more I'm finding out that me and hubby are so in the minority (a couple of freaks, okay. Let's just go ahead and say it). I mean, not that there's anything wrong with being freaky but, we have more than our share at home...even with the kids (the babe said the other day that she was laying in bed one night and heard strange noises coming from our room. I guess we need to think about either taking it down a notch or going down stairs for our escapades). Most of the information I'm gleaning from others is a couple of times of month. Oh my god! I would die! Seriously, where's the razor so I can slit my wrists?

I've come to the conclusion that people would be much happier, couple relationships wouldn't become turnstiles as often, marriages wouldn't end in horrible knock down, drag out divorces and the need for Xanax, Valium, Zelnorm, beer, (name your cocktail) wouldn't be nearly as high if we were just getting laid more often. Okay, and maybe not even laid, a good session of oral pleasure a day? That could be the prescription for more health and happiness. Is this too far fetched? I'm starting to think not.

So, from this post you can probably tell that I'm missing my hubby. It was Wednesday evening before work that we managed to get a "quickie" in (about 25 minutes worth of lovin'). Anyway, last night I was restless and having a hard time sleeping. I realized that, because he had to go in for an overtime shift, I only saw him for about two minutes(no exaggeration, here). I got home at a little after five, and he left as I was coming in...giving us just a couple of minutes for a hug and a kiss goodbye. Oh, that just sucked! No physical or mental intimacy. Double whammy!

After speaking with him this morning, I'm feeling more and more like he's my personal version of heroin. I'm addicted (as is he to me, this being said in the most non conceitful way I assure you) to my significant other. I'm not codependent, which is something else entirely, but definitely feel his presence is a necessity for my world to be at peace. People say that sex isn't the most important aspect to a relationship, but it's definitely important and loses it's importance over time. Couples who have been together several decades mark the steady decline in intimacy. I am proud and happy to say that this is not the case with us. My hubby and I are more active than we were when we first got together. More so because we know each other on a different level and we're responsive to each other's needs (He loves to go down and I have no arguments. His favorite? Me licking his perineum. Talk about a great way to see a man climb up the walls!)

For anyone having struggles in their relationship or your just not "feeling the love" like you used to, evaluate your intimacy. If you can't remember the last time you were with your significant other or the intimacy has been given a specific "day" (Ugh, perish the thought!) it's time to reevaluate. Hubby and I talk all the time. What I like, what he likes and maybe what we'd like to try. Trust me, you'll feel better getting things going more often.