A few days ago, my hubby came home and told me that his ex-girlfriend "K" called. She was informing him that she just became preggers and thought that she would find out how he was doing as well. She also told him that she always felt comfortable talking to him and really appreciated all the good advice he's given to her over the years. My blood began to heat as he told me about their call, it never boiled, but it got pretty damn hot.
(Sometime in '94) My hubby and "K" were together, just before he and I became an item. He says she's cute, but I couldn't see what he saw in her. She's taller than me and a bit older. I think her baby sister is my age. At any rate, they were together a couple of years and it was a tumultuous relationship. He tells me that she was very insecure and she wondered constantly why he was with her. She must have really loved him because, after I came into the picture, she was insistent that he'd made a mistake. She continued to call his apartment, even if I answered the phone. I had to tell him (and remember, this was when we were still young and dumb) that he needed to tell her to stop calling so much. It was disrespectful to me and to our relationship. The fact that I had to tell him is what really gets me, but the hubby I know now would never have let it go on as long as it did.
The phone calls began to lessen and he focused more on us. By '99, we were in our own apartment in Salt Lake City, learning how to be a couple and trying to figure out what we were going to do with the rest of our lives. The phone calls started again, not too bad, but enough that I felt compelled to say something. After this, I was not even aware of any communication between them until last summer, when I stumbled upon an email. It was basically just a, "Hi, how are you?" email from her, nothing more (thank God!). Hubby indicated to me then that she was involved with someone and would soon be married. I suppose this is the same gentleman that she has been married to for eight months.
For me, this seems odd and maybe it's because I have no contact with anyone I dated in the past. That's the past, I'm leaving it there (unless for some reason, it rears it's ugly head). I don't even have friendships with these guys, so this all seems really odd to me. I guess their break-up was amicable and they were able to maintain a friendly relationship. Perhaps I'm too cynical or something. I just think it's difficult for men and women to have lasting, platonic relationships. Not to say that it can't be done, but I believe the difficulty is there.
I truly don't believe that anything is up and I have my suspicions on why it bothers me. Shall I share? I think I'm bothered because they have a past different from the past I have with him. The memories, thoughts and feelings are things I will never be privy to or fully know, ever in life. The other suspicion? Part of me thinks that she still loves him on some level. At least, enough to hold out a sliver of hope that if our relationship failed and so did hers, they could find each other again. Is that too far-fetched?
So, that's the most dramatic thing that's happened to me in the last few days (accept for this morning when they narrowed the main interestate into town to just two lanes...IDIOTS)!
The systems at work are no longer losing their minds and we will be starting a new person to replace "C" very soon. He's even kinda cute! (We don't have a lot of eye-candy around here, so this is major). The babe is in a school assembly today, the baby is crawling all over the place and picking up things like popcorn kernels and loose staples. Yikes! Dad is looking super fine (getting ready for the bodybuilding show) and life is pretty sedate. I say this and then something wild will happen (wild and good? Let's hope so).
4 comments:
i totally understand...that's how wifey is about my "strange but diluted" past...
I had a similar thing happen with my Hubby's ex- they went out for two years and were the 'loves of their lives' according to all and sundry- at least until she cheated on him with his best friend while he was in juvenile detention(yes he was the original bad boy!)
They broke up, he moved towns and met me- she wanted him back, I cried my seventeen year old heart out on the stairs and he chose me. Eventually.
She moved to England then returned to Australia, got married and had 2 children, then divorced and re-married- and has kept in touch through sending his parents the occasional letter- it used to bother me a lot more than it does now- especially when I know for a fact that he asked her to marry him(he's never asked me, I know I refer to him as my Hubby but in fact we are only in a de-facto relationship)- so yeah; I get what you mean.
There's no reason for her to be still contacting your Hubby- but if she does try and think of it as I do- my Hubby's ex was with him for just two years. I've been with him for 16- so I guess she wasn't the one he was meant to be with after all! I was.
And so are you!
x
wow,
the post and the comments opened my eyes.
So I have nothing to add. But thanks for sharing y'all.
Sarccastik - So, are you still in touch with old girlfriends? Enquiring minds wanna know? ;)
rn_buffoon - Wow! It's so similar...even the whole, "keeping in touch with him through his family." I know that she still calls his mother and, as far as they are concerned, he should have married her; however, his mother came to visit this past summer. She told me, on the way to the babe's dance class, that she really liked me and that she knew she just had to get to know me. That made me feel better.
god's child - I'm glad all these years and experience opened your eyes. Who knows! Maybe, when you're Knight arrives, you'll be able to share your ways of coping (if need be) with others. ;)
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