The Things We Do for Our Kids

I was talking to one of the girls from the Babe's dance studio, last night. The Babe was finishing up her class and Indy was using the potty. This girl is maybe 13 or 14 and her dad is "gym" friends with hubby. I remember her dad telling us that she stuck with dance and tumbling because she wants to participate in cheer-leading at school. It seems it's time for try-outs and she's unsure if she'll do it. Costumes and uniforms are $900 dollars for the year and each year the costumes change, but the fees still apply. What?! Seriously?! Is there that much need to do a costume change for cheer-leading now? I can understand competition dancing but cheer-leading? It made me think of the line from the first Brin.g it On movie:

Sparky (the choreographer) = "Cheer leaders are dancers who have gone retarded. What you do is a tiny, pathetic subset of dancing."

Truly this is the case, considering the costs. Yikes! I know it's the Babe's wish to cheer-lead in school too but, damn! She better have a job or something by the time she's ready. The girl I was talking to said that she's going to try and help raise the money. We talked about her dance obligations. She's one of those that dances in everything. She told me her grandfather was fussing at her for being at the studio for five hours on Mondays and three on Wednesdays. Man, now I know where her mother's money is going. It's no wonder her sister stopped dancing altogether.

I should say that this child is a wonderful dancer and really is gifted in that respect. I asked her if it was worth it and she said that she's really going to have to consider what means more to her. I reiterated to her that I thought was was a great dancer (hoping that she will choose dance over cheer-leading, since it may even lead to a career in the future, I'm thinking). Of course, there are professional cheerleaders in the world. I dunno. My opinion is that dance is an art so, why not get paid for promoting the arts?

I'm all for giving kids an opportunity to express themselves and I'm also willing to pay for some of those endeavors. I just think you have to consider all the logistics, too. The economy sucks and budgeting is a necessity. Dance or electricity? Soccer or heat? Little League or groceries?

Mid-Thirties, Baby

Oh, what a terrific birthday! I had to work but, my sister picked up my eldest and came over to babysit both kids. Hubby and I took off and went to the movies. Check out Sherloc.k Holm.es if you haven't already. It was worth the watch for sure.

After the movie, we went to dinner and sat side-by-side at the restaurant(you can people watch and chat at the same time that way). I didn't gorge, but enjoyed myself. We headed over to DSW and hubby splurged on a pair of shoes for me. Woohoo! Their satin, multi-colored mules and they're divine. Next, he took me over to Ross and had me try on 5 pairs of jeans. We took two pair home; Nine West and Lee's.

We got home and found out the youngest was a little naughty and that sister dear disciplined a bit differently than I would have, but we got it all squared away. She'll be back this weekend to watch them over night. Dang! I could get used to this. Hubby and I told each other over and over again how much fun we had and how nice the evening was. He said he got a little flack from coworkers because he took a half-day vacation, but he said, "What better way to use vacation time than to spend it with my wife on her birthday?" What a guy.

Meeting with the Teacher and Age

This morning, hubby and I had to meet with the Babe's teacher. It was a good meeting and I hope the Babe was listening to all of the good advice the teacher gave her. My Babe has a busy mouth and sometimes doesn't know when to close it. She's also incredibly hard-headed, which can cause her some strife in the classroom. We talked strategies for frustration and the incessant talking she does for about half an hour this morning. It's the first time in a long time I've talked to a teacher and not felt like we (the parents) were on trial. I hope it made a difference.

My cardio pace has increased substantially. It always does the stronger and more "aerobic" I become. I'm hoping hubby still wants to purchase the new treadmill. That will change things up and allow for more weight/fat loss for sure. You don't burn nearly as many calories in the amount of time like you do with an elliptical, but you work bones and the impact is greater. This allows for bigger changes in the workout. I'm also preparing myself mentally to tackle toning and weight training again. I always feel so good when it's part of my regular routine (and I look a lot like the participants in the videos...seriously! Everything is long and tight. The results are fantastic!), it's just getting there again. The soreness, the yelling at the instructors, the initial shock of how blubbery I am. That initial process of starting is tough, tough, tough.

The air is clean again. Yeah! We are getting regular snow and rain this week, which is pushing out the nasty inversion we've had for about a month. The skyline is visible again and the mountains are white and breath taking. I just love it! It was sort of my birthday wish to God, last week. "I want rain and 40 degree weather." Guess what we got? ;)

Speaking of birthdays, my 35th approaches. Next Monday, I will officially be smack in the middle of my thirties. I've been more nostalgic with this birthday than with any of my birthdays past, making play-lists of the top 100 songs of various years to kind of usher it in. It's been fun and a little weird, too. My eldest knows some of the songs because they still play many of them on the radio. She sings along some times, other times she says, "Is that a man or woman singing?" Lots of androgynous singing in the 80's, I guess. She's lucky she didn't have to endure the visual pain of the fashion. I remember my neon-pink socks I wore with everything. Stirrup pants, psychedelic colors that matched nothing and sent folks into seizures. Yikes!

What Some Children Think About

When I was nine, I was worried about what kind of games to play at school, my upcoming dance recitals, the next birthday party to go to and when summer vacation would finally start. I can honestly say my worries weren't too heavy. As I approached ten, my thought process began to change. I started to think about the nature of my parent's marriage in a more mature way. I understood that their "partnership" really wasn't much of one. Talk began of moving out of state and leaving my beloved California scared me witless. Would I make new friends, if we moved? What would the children be like in Tennessee? Would they like me? Would I ever see my Californian friends again?

I remember the change happening, but it was subtle. There were still so many parts of me that were kid-like, but I did feel differently than I had before. I believe this very thing is beginning to happen with my oldest. She still has "child" talk, but now it's beginning to change into more serious subject matter.

This morning, for example. She told me that at school, yesterday, she caught site of her cousin coming onto school grounds, but she didn't seem very happy. She asked her what was wrong and her cousin told her that a fight had broken out the night before between herself and the neighbor kid (not sure if it was a physical fight or an argument). My sister-in-law heard the ruckus, came outside and broke it up. In the midst of resolving the conflict, she experienced some sort of pain in her head and ended up in the emergency room. Cousin told the babe that the pain/ailment was in the back of her head, but the doctor said that if it reached the front, her mother could die.

The babe, always being so sensitive, was even more so to hear of her aunt's terrible predicament. The babe asked where cousin would live, should her mother pass away (their father is currently in jail and has been for nearly two years). Cousin indicated that they would have to go back to Missouri to extended relatives (these are blood relatives). She was afraid to go back there because she didn't want to be abused.

Oh.My.God.

It took me a minute to gain my composure and think rationally. We knew of the problems the kids had experienced, before they moved here. They were very, very young (around 2 or three). They had been staying with their father's relatives (a sister, I think, and other cousins) while he "figured out his life" or some stuff. I dunno. After he and my sister got married, he made arrangements for custody to be restored and moved them here.

Obviously, those painful memories haven't left them. I rationalized with the babe and explained that her aunt has always gotten terrible migraines and that she's ended up in the emergency room lots of times as a result. She's on prescription medication and has to manage her stress a certain way, or those headaches appear and pretty much knock her down.

She told me that her aunt was out of the hospital that very day, so I told her to think positively. That her aunt will, hopefully, take better care of herself and not die. That she'll be around to take care of her cousins for a very, very long time...that all will be well and that they'll get to stay in Utah and be safe. Safety. That's what concerns these children.

I called hubby and asked if he'd heard about his sister being in the hospital. I also told him of the concerns the babe and her cousin were having. They have been through so much (I can't even get into all of it here) and had to grow up so fast, it would just be one more blow to their already fragile psyches. I'm glad they're in counseling and I hope that they are being honest and expressing everything in those sessions.

A Musical Gift for the Decade Part 2

Here is the video (I hope). I could not embed the code from the site in the original post.

A Musical Gift for the Decade

I was so delighted when I received this video in my inbox, yesterday. Another ten years, Sade? Really? I suppose quality work and art takes time but a decade between each new album from someone like her is like cruel and unusual punishment. I've already told hubby that if she decides to tour with this album, we'll have to find a way to go (with Lover's Rock, she hit Vegas as a venue close to us). Another ten years and she'll definitely sound different. Along with other factors, age changes your singing voice the most.

She's still stunning and in fabulous shape. It should make me green with envy, but I'm actually just admirably impressed. I think her lifestyle keeps her so vibrant. We should all take a lesson. Enjoy!

Real Estate Venture...maybe

My hubby wants to buy a house or, rather an additional house...as in, a second house with a second mortgage and it's making my head spin just typing this. The buyer's market "fever" has him and he's hankering to cash in while things are good. The way to do this would involve more work on his part and more hours away. This does not make me happy; however, he wants to have a retirement home ready and waiting when our time comes. Basically, the means justifying the ends. I guess so. I just keep thinking, if he works himself into an early grave, what do I care about a retirement home that I can't share with him?

He called me today to reiterate his goal with me, claiming that he'll have this done by next year. He will pick up more clients and possibly go back to graveyard shifts, if necessary. How did all this start? Where did he get this idea? Why, House Hunters, of course! Okay, not just House Hunters. How about House Hunters, My First Place, Property Virgins, Bang for your Buck, etc.... We watch these shows like they're going out of style! We talk about which homes we like and what we like about them. We've discussed what we'd do differently, if we were to sell our current home and buy a new one. The prospect of building, updating what we currently have (my kitchen...please, God, my kitchen) and increasing the value over all.

As we watch, he'll get on the web and search the current housing market of the area we're watching. I can't tell you how many Texas homes I've seen in the past few weeks! Yep! Everything is definitely bigger in Texas. We figure, for what we'd get for our house here, we could by something spectacular there (I'm talking 3000+ square feet, formal dining, cathedral ceilings, loft space, ginormous bedrooms, wrap around porches, patios, a swimming pool all on a 1+ acre of land. Even still, I really don't want to move to Texas. Currently, he's exploring the Henderson, Nevada market but we're still considering St. George.

I'm on the fence about it all. Wonder if his buyer's fever is here to stay? He will do that sometimes; get all riled up and excited about something, then the drive peters away. I can't tell if that will be the case this time or not. Will we still be talking about an additional home in three months? I guess time will tell...

Birthdays and Hair

Indy had a small, family birthday party on Friday. She received more dolls, toys and clothes. The kid has really racked up this winter! For dinner, we did something a little different. Instead of the typical pizza pick-up or hamburgers and hot dogs, I made spaghetti and meat sauce (one of her favorites). I backed up the meat sauce with an alternative; garlic and herb sauce. We also had garlic bread and a variety of drinks to choose from. So, five adults and four children were very pleased and all went back from seconds. Who knew one of my standard meals would do so well! My sister-in-law was eating and didn't even question the green items that tasted so good (uh, green peppers? Vegetables? She should probably eat more of those).

After cake and presents, we all sat around chatting while the kids played. It really was a nice evening. Everyone was dog tired from working, but still managed to have a good time. It reminded me of why I like to entertain. I can't wait to redo my kitchen (coming up this year, I hope). We plan to install hard wood floors throughout the top floor of my home, save the bedrooms and bathrooms along with granite counter-tops and refinished cabinets. Huge, huge jobs, but it will be so worth it.

The next morning (Saturday, bright and early) my sister-in-law returned so that I could do her hair. I offered, but also put out the disclaimer that I am no professional. She didn't seem to care and was happy to spend the $50+ dollars on the type of hair that I wear (in black). I think she just didn't want to have to deal with it anymore (she's a hospice nurse).

It's probably a good thing she did this, too because as I was braiding, I noticed quite a bit of damage...especially her ends. It's evident that over processing, stress, and breakage from sleeping on cotton pillows are all culprits. Interestingly, we watched a video of me in a step show and my hair was very bouncy and healthy. She commented on it several times. I remember, during that time, I was only using "sodium" based perms, rather than calcium hydroxide. I also slept on a satin pillow case and, when that wasn't available, a satin cap. I made sure to only use light hair moisturizers rather than flat-out grease. I received trims regularly and visited my salon on a regular basis (rather than doing my own retouches). All of this extra maintenance kept my hair in good shape. It was also incredibly expensive. Makes me appreciate even more that I'm natural and don't have to go through all that drama anymore.

Her hair will certainly grow out with braiding, but it will endure a different kind of stress. I'm not sure what her plans are for the future. I don't even know if a "hair lesson" is really what she wants, anyway. People generally do what they've done forever, because that's what they understand and feel works for them. Opening their minds to knew ideas can be tricky for some. I think that would be the case for her.

Although I'm selfish of my time but I wonder about doing this for a bit of extra money. I'm okay, but not professional (I would make that clear in my ads). I wonder how busy it would make me? I've also thought about maybe giving a little "workshop" if nothing else (there are so many black children adopted by parents of different races that struggle with their hair...there are websites galore devoted to supporting them). That would certainly be an "in". I'll think about it more.

I've lost four pounds, but I'm not drinking enough water and I'm still eating out too much. I'll keep trucking, though.

A New Perspective

As I approach my thirty-fifth birthday (seriously?!), I've started to think about my life; front and back. Nostalgically, I've thought about where I was ten, twenty even thirty years ago. The recitals from childhood, the boys I liked in junior and senior high school, friendships I made and lost in college. Frustrations and anger I felt over things I thought were so important, that now seem so trivial. As a married woman with children, I look at how everything effects myself, my children and my husband. All of my decisions, for the rest of my life, will involve myself and my family.

Hubby and I watched the following last night and I gained so much from the program. I guess it's a new series for PBS. Anyway, it falls right in line with what I'm thinking about these days. What makes me happy? Would I be happy with more material things or do I just think I would be? Considering my happiest moments, what do they all have in common? There were some remarkable people featured during this episode. One, whose story actually made me cry, gave me the most to think about. In all the crappy, bad, horrible things that have happened in my life...if I could erase/wipe away those moments as if they never existed, would I? The answer, of course, is no. Absolutely not. I would not be the person I am today, if not for all of my experiences (good or bad). It was a sobering thought.

The path of life is definitely looking shorter and shorter as I age. I certainly echo the thoughts of some of the older individuals. Having time with my family means so much more.

Twenty-Ten...For Real?

I'm just having the craziest time excepting the year. Wow! Have we already experienced a full decade in the 21st century? Didn't we just deal with Y2K and all the drama associated with it? Crazy! Anyway, I'm looking forward to good things this year. More hope, more love, more blessings from above.

First off, it's time to get off the holiday weight. I'm singing to the tune of 10 additional pounds over a two month period. Yikes! The work has already begun and I am paying the piper. Things well get better...remember, hope in twenty-ten.

The girls cleaned up this holiday season. Dolls, clothes, a remote-control car, an X-Box 360 Elite, tons of games and underwear. They have no complaints (and neither do I, for that matter). Indy's birthday is next Sunday and she'll rake in more goodies. Dang, to be a kid again! We'll have a family party on Friday for her, including dinner and cake. Mom is probably going to forgo the cake for a Smart Ones desert or something.

Hubby wanted to take me away for New Year's. He planned way ahead and had my mother slated to watch the girls. Who knew she and my sister would get sick and be unable to care for them. Blah! No getaway with hubby, but we still brought in the new year with peace. I couldn't have asked for more.

The week has begun and getting back into the swing of things is weird, but I'll be okay.