Our Second Session and Learning How to Communicate

It was a really good session and there were two things that really made it work; a.) the office is in the midst of several pediatric offices, so there are kids (lots of them) in the waiting room. Hubby was playing a game of peek-a-boo with an eleven month old, while I learned about missing fingers and toes from a three year-old. Children can always help in bringing things into perspective and b.) we both went in with a positive attitude. Last week, we just were at our wits end and didn't know what to do. This time, there was a sense of hope.

We talked with our counselor about two of the past issues we've been dealing with (one of mine and one of his). We also talked about the history of relationships in our lives, in terms of what long-termed relationships we were witness to. After listening to my story, she determined that what makes a long-term work is having things in common and enjoying each others company. From him? Stability and respect for both parties...things I already knew from him, but heard in a different way from our therapist. It was quite enlightening.

We went home afterwards and had dinner (sandwiches and chips) and settled in for a bit of TV watching. Once the kids were in bed, we sat and talked a bit on the couch about some of the day's events and also how we felt about the session. It was only a few minutes, but it was a great joy just to have that time with him. We went to bed, after a nightcap (a Master Mixes Mai Tai...would have much rather had a real one but hey, you take what you can get) and a little more conversation. I had a little trouble turning off my head, but eventually I settled down and went to sleep. I felt quite refreshed when I awakened this morning. I can't remember the last time I felt that way.

On other fronts, my hair is growing and my color is fading or just looking really dark because of my new growth. It's very coily/curly and soft. Hubby is not digging his growth at all and keeps threatening to cut it. He did say that he'll at least have it edged up in the next few days. Meanwhile, I think I'm going to brighten up my color and go a bit blonder. I'll be two-tone by the fall, but by then I could dye it just dye it back off-black or brown...hmm...or maybe plum.

The basement floor is nearly complete. It's almost hard to believe that we'll have this space to use in just a few short weeks. We've been waiting so long. It will be surreal (yes. I need to get out more).

Finally, I've had enough gumption to start working out again. For a while, I was so depressed and sick that I just couldn't muster up the energy to do anything...not even walk the dogs like we were doing each weekend. Last week, I took a mile jog and did a two mile walk. I haven't done anything yet this week (I had that set-back on Sunday) but, I want to. The fact that I want to is huge for me right now.

My Life is in Shambles (but, I'm still here)

Where to begin.... Hubby and I began our counseling and things seemed to be improving, until we had our biggest battle over the weekend. They just seem to get worse and worse. We've only had one session of counseling, so we haven't learned a lot of communication tools yet. We tried the one we did learn, but perhaps we need a manual or something. We're just not doing things right and our patience is running thin.

I love my hubby, dearly but lately it seems we just cannot be on the same page about anything. We blow up at the smallest things and we're so easily agitated. He pretty much said he thought we should cancel the next session because it just seems like we're not getting anywhere. I was totally heartbroken...but then again, so was he. This morning, he called and said he wanted to keep the appointment. I told him last night that I though it would be a good idea, simply because the therapist is a third-party, totally removed from us. We're too close to the problems to deal with them.

I've wondered lately, for me, if it wouldn't be such a bad idea to medicate for a bit (insert Tom Cruise tirade). I'm not one for meds and I truly believe that behavior meds should not be permanent. I haven't gotten so far as to ask the doctor if it's a good idea or not. Perhaps time will tell (if we can make it past two counseling sessions).

Meanwhile, my house is coming together. We've begun grouting and the basement is looking better and better with each passing day. Pretty soon, we'll have the floor sealed and the trim in place. I'm hoping we'll have it all together by fall...it's strange to think about fall. I wonder what my life we'll be like then? We'll hubby and I be in a better place? We'll I be planning for the holidays in our new, spacey basement (family area) or figuring out how to prep the rooms for sale? Ugh! It's just too depressing. (BTW, that's what I'd want the meds for. I really haven't been right since last fall. After all the illness and drama this past winter? It's a wonder I can even work up the gumption to get up and go to work everyday).

I'm in the dark right now, but I'm hopeful that light will come soon. I need something happy to look forward to. I still attend my church regularly and enjoy the company of my coworkers, but I have yet to do my girls' night out (I know, I know). I'm thinking sometime next week, when I have a couple of days off. I hope hubby's not so out-of-sorts that he puts of fireworks. This will be Indy's first year of really being able to enjoy them.

Rambling is the theme for today's post, obviously. It's sort of the way my life's been for the past couple of weeks. We've got some work super-spy or something who's blowing the whistle on people for using the Internet for purposes other than work. The audacity! I'll have to really work hard and make time to post from home. I'll be more consistent because I truly need this outlet.

Paint Food Color

The projects are moving full steam ahead. Last night, we painted the office (which we've decided will now be the extra, spare bedroom) and it's quite lovely. The color? Crisp Croissant (where do they come up with these?). Three of our rooms are currently painted in food colors; cocoa brown, almond paste and now, crisp croissant. Perhaps it's a trend of our home. It definitely makes it easy to remember, in case we have to pick up more.

Hubby and I talked a bit about painting the current work-out room (former, extra spare bedroom) because he's not happy with the powder blue he painted it last year. I feel a "paint food color" coming. Happily, he started before I arrived and my contribution consisted of painting the corners, top portions and missing spots. Afterwards, we scraped up mortar from the tiles and prepped the room for grouting today. Sounds like fun? Actually, it kind of does to me. It was fun working and spending time with hubby. We talked a lot while we worked and, even though he was a bit irritated that I didn't come looking for him initially when I came home, he got past it quickly and we had a good time.

Uncle kept the kids and Indy even seemed happy to spend time with him. I suppose she's gotten used to him without my knowledge. I thought she was still a bit apprehensive, but not so. He fed her and got her ready for bed, even. What a good kid. (He also mowed the lawn and washed the dishes, yesterday. Nice.)

The babe is still enthralled with her summer camp/day care. She's always so eager to go, has made a host of new friends, and each afternoon wonders why I'm there so early. I just wish it didn't cost so much (about $100 dollars a week...ugh!) Let's not forget, we pay for Indy's daycare, too. Did my name become Rockefeller, Vanderbilt or Hilton without my knowledge?

On top of that, I shelled out money on a flight back home this fall (I couldn't pass it up. The rate was awesome!). I'll be pulling that money out of my butt, now. Seems like that's usually where it comes from these days anyway. How do I justify this lavish expense? It's my turn to return home and see my best friend. Our promise, made nearly ten years ago, has yet to be broken. I also think about when it was my turn in 2005 and I spent over $400 dollars for my flight. The $202 including taxes and fees doesn't seem nearly so bad.

The weekend looks like it's going to be a scorcher and hubby's plans to hike may be thwarted. I'm in fear that they will melt into a chocolate puddle somewhere, never to be seen again. I suggested water play in the front yard; refreshing and enjoyable for the whole family.

A Happy Birthday to You

Hubby and I spent part of the weekend at a somewhat posh resort in Park City in honor of his birthday. The one bedroom condominium reserved for us (and from what I understand, they're all different and privately owned) had a large living space complete with stereo, 32" t.v, comfortable furnishings including a large couch and recliner, a quaint coffee table and fireplace. The dining area was small, but would seat four people quite comforably. The kitchen had all the comforts of a kitchen with newer appliances, but was arms width wide and I wondered how someone who lived in one of these establishments could handle running into everything all the time. The bedroom was huge, housing a queen size bed and a twin with plenty of space for both. There was also a roll away bed in the bedroom closet and a nice, large bathroom.

The decor wasn't what I would expect of a mountain-side retreat. Paint colors were bright oranges, tans, reds and earth greens either as accents or full room colors. The paintings were a mix of art deco and Italian rustic. I'm not sure what the owner was going for but, it seemed to work. I just wished he'd/she'd thought about updating the furnishings in the bedroom. They were definitely circa 1978 (or therabouts). Overall, our room was nice and the price even better. We went to dinner at a really nice brewery where, despite being the main attraction (I don't guess they get too many African-American couples) one of the hostesses gave hubby and me the eye all during dinner. Didn't you know Utah is the swinging capital of the world? Crazy! After dinner, we drove around a bit before retiring back to the condo for drinks and conversation. The next day, we checked out and headed down the mountain to attend our first session in marriage counseling (didn't see that one coming, did you?)

After the first session, it was decided that we should join the couples group counseling, which we will try and set up for the middle of July. So, what do we do until July? Try and communicate as best we can without driving each other mad. I think a lot of prayer and hope will need to be included in these next few weeks as well and I hope those aspects are not one-sided.

In other news, the babe has started summer camp and is enjoying herself immensely. She was not too thrilled when dad came to pick her up, yesterday, insisting that he was "too early" and could he "come back later." Kids. We were preparing my brother-in-law for the workforce, but hubby keeps running into the age barrier (he's fifteen) whenever inquiring about teenagers and summer work. It may be that he'll spend his summer at the neighborhood park, unfortunately. It's too bad. I know he was hoping to work, save up money and take it back home with him for the school year. His brother is currently working for the summer getting paid $20 an hour.

The basement projects are back on schedule. We'll probably paint this afternoon and prep the floor for grouting. I'm okay with the painting, it's just the schedule that I'm not happy about. We have to do all of this when the kids are asleep because the babe can't and shouldn't watch her sister alone for hours at a time. The brother-in-law is still a bit of a stranger to the baby and she's not completely comfortable with him, yet. She's fine playing with him at a distant. So, that leaves all the basement work (at least the parts I can help with) for 8:00pm and after. Our goal is to have the office painted, the trim painted for all the rooms and the floor grouted by the end of the week. We'll see...

Basement Jaxx - Do Your Thing

Dance Recital

The babe will be performing to the song that's hopefully appearing on this blog today. She is so excited and I'm too excited for her. She'll have a small posse supporting her in the audience.

My brother-in-law is here and got here a week ago today. He's a different kid since the last time he was here. It's amazing what a couple of years will do to the maturity level of a young man. He's been keeping the babe for us until we can get her summer care arranged and he's been doing a great job. She loves hanging out with her uncle, although I'm sure she'll be bored before the week's end. She needs lots of stimulation and an outlet for all that energy she has. I don't think daily visits to the park are going to be enough. Thankfully, her summer care will begin next Monday as will her first, official gymnastic class. My kid; the human string of puddy.

Hubby and I are okay, but we're still talking about couples counseling. I think we need it for the sanity of ourselves and our marriage. Every vehicle needs a tune up now and again, right? I hope he can find something soon before this idea falls off the radar. We don't want anymore episodes like our last vacation and the blow up a few weeks ago.

I hope to have a nice date planned for hubby and I this weekend. He says he's waiting to hear back from the guy who's going to give him the information on how to build our deck this Friday. That's also the evening of our date, but that may not happen if this guy comes over. Oh, well. I guess I could use the money to buy a quick gift. Truth be told? I'd much rather have the date. My mother is already keeping Indy over night and the "uncle" has agreed to watch the babe if me and hubby go out.

It's 44 degrees today and not expected to get much warmer. Crazy! We went from 90 degree days to this in just two days? Global warming...hmm....