My House is My Home

Before and after....Yeah!

















Having a living space again has been extra nice, but having one that's so color-comfortable and arranged so nicely has been a treat. Hubby has added a few extra touches since these pictures were taken on January 13th and I suspect he'll continue to add. It's looking more and more like Vegas is going to happen, so our house has to be "sell" worthy. I've been trying to cope with the thought of being without him for several months and, I gotta say, I'm not happy about it at all. I'm not even sure how we're going to do this because after just a couple of days of being apart from each other, we're dying and making expensive phone calls throughout the day. He wants me and the girls to make frequent visits but I don't like the idea of making that six hour drive by myself with two little kids. If it were just me or me and another driving adult and the kids, that would be fine. I just worry that if something happened to me or to the car, what would my girls do? Flying would be okay sometimes (since SLC and Vegas have lots of commuter flights that are reasonable) but who knows how often will have that opportunity. Money is going to be hoarded and saved for a while, until we can make our new start in that city.

****Okay...blogging weirdness. I had a whole paragraph typed about my hubby calling our former real estate agent about how to prepare our house for selling and it just disappeared. I wish there were an undo button or something in here. Ugh!*****

The baby is getting cuter and cuter by the day. She's also spending more time awake during the daylight hours, which is making her mother most happy. She looks at me with those wide brown eyes as if she has a lot on her mind and a lot to communicate. I think the cooing is coming soon. Oh, the cooing! The second really cool milestone (she's already experienced the first). She's been smiling at me and her daddy and no. It's not gas. These are smiles (mimics) of her parents and grandmother, aunt and big sister. My oldest didn't really smile much until she was in her second month. I think that's pretty typical of babies. Anyway, it's so sweet. Oh, babies.

One last comment (more for documentation and history purposes for me). Because of the reduction, I didn't think I'd be able to breast feed. Or, if I did, I'd have to supplement because of low milk. Well, while in the hospital, the colostrum started to come a little more than I thought it would. Indy was already feeding from a bottle so when I tried to introduce her to my milk source, she wasn't willing to work for it. She just got really frustrated and screamed a lot. Saturday night, my milk came in...I mean, it really came in. I look like a freakin' porn star! My hubby, of course, is loving it and getting more frustrated by the day. Surprisingly, so am I. I didn't expect to have a "drive" at all, but I am so ready. Three more weeks. Good, God! Can I wait that long?!

Anyway, because she's not nursing, doesn't want to nurse, has no interest in nursing, I've been binding my chest. What a pain in the butt! First of all, I hate wearing clothes to bed but, I've had to wear underwear (for obvious reasons) with pads and will continue to do so for probably another couple of weeks. On top of that, I'm wearing sports bras (sometimes two at a time) and a huge ace bandage around my chest. No comfort for me. Then, when I take all this hardware off to shower, I leak everywhere. Who knew! So, for anyone who has had a reduction and is wondering if they'll be able to nurse, don't write it off until the baby is with you and you've tried it for yourself. You may just be surprised like I was.

N.D. "Indy" Has Arrived...Finally!

Well, here she is! I'm not afraid to show a newborn picture because, frankly, newborns look pretty much the same in the first few days but...dang it! I still think she's pretty cute!

So, January 10th was the day to visit the doc for my follow-up. He wanted to recheck my blood pressure and urine, so that's what he did. After doing so, he comes into the exam room and says, "Guess what?" So, of course I say, "What?" and he says, "You're going to have a baby today." I was like, "I am?" Well, my pressure was still too high and my urine protein was at a 4+. He was concerned about my health as well as the baby's, so he called over to the hospital and told them I was coming. Hubby had gone to the check up with me so, he was totally in shock when we left the office to go to the hospital. He thought we'd be there a few minutes, go home then he could sleep off the night's work. This was not to be.

I checked into labor/delivery and they had me hooked up to the pitocin and magnesium by 11:00 am. By 1:25, the contractions were coming hard and my water broke. They gave me my epidural at 2:25 and life felt much better, after that. I went from a 4 to a 6cm, then slowly climbed to an 8 where I didn't progress much after that. The doc comes in and says, "I'm still not happy with the how high she is and I'm worried about your health and hers. The baby has been in this position for a couple of hours and we don't want her to go into stress, so we're going to have to perform a C-section." Yikes! Well, doc knows best so, they preped me and hubby got on his scrubs and matching shower-cap(too cute). They numbed me up again and rolled me to the operating room.

On the table, I was very much awake and very much aware of the tugging and pulling my doctor was doing. It was too freaky! He then says, "Now, I see why she wasn't descending. The umbilical cord is wrapped around her head." Good, Lord! Thankfully, she was okay and the moment he removed her from my belly, I felt elated and sad all at the same time. The weight of her leaving was so surreal and the idea that she was finally with us...I just can't explain it. That was at 6:45pm. The nurses took her to do her apgar score. My mother, sister, daughter and husband all saw her before I did. (I was truly jealous). Meanwhile, I chatted with the doc and the nurses while he sewed me up (that was pretty surreal, too).

So, back in my room I'm asking, "Where's the baby?" and "When can I see the baby?" I got answers like, "Oh, they're bathing her...Oh, they're running tests...Oh, they're dressing her." Finally, at around 9ish, they wheeled her in. So precious! I had no idea that my children would look so different! I just assumed this one would be Hershey dark like her big sister, but she's very fair (like my side of the family). It was magical finally seeing her.

The next day, they still had me connected to the magnesium drip and I also had the catheter (ugh!). The magnesium was infused with pitocin, to shrink my uterus and a morphine - time released pain meds. The pain meds had a horrible side effect; they made me itch and I'm not talking about a little itch here or there, I'm talking about feeling like you want to scratch your skin till it bleeds, itch. Ugh! And, I had to be on it for hours. The nurse offered me benadryl to take the edge of but, to be honest, I was really tired of all the drugs. I just wanted to be off everything or, at least, as much as I could. By 5pm, they disconnected me (thank God) and wheeled me to my new, postpartum room. I finally got to take a shower and freshen brush my teeth (Oh, the little things in life!).

Thursday was my day of visitors. My boss and his wife came and brought me the most precious receiving blanket. Then, my coworker "C" came with another coworker "M" and took pictures of the baby, me with the baby, them with the baby. It was so nice to see friends. My mother and sister also stopped by and had some QT time with Indy.

Friday was a whirlwind of getting organized and checking out. We came home and my house, oh man, my house! My husband gets a platinum star for being the most industrious man ever! It looks wonderful and I couldn't have been more happy to see it not in a state of chaos. (I have pictures I'll post later). Friday night with the babe was rough. She was still on the nursery's schedule, so she got up a lot (about every hour and a half). Saturday night was better and last night was better than that (today is January 16th, despite what the post says). I hope to have her on a more morning friendly "awake" time schedule, but who can tell? Babies will do what they'll do.

So, there's the 20 minute Version of my birth story. There are more details, but I won't go into them. I think I hit the best parts. I'm still sore and on ibu for the pain, but I'm moving around okay. It's weird to look at my stomach (which makes me look like I'm about 4 months along) and know that there isn't a baby in there anymore. Adjusting to that is taking some time. Again,though, I'm sure glad she's here and I'm even more thrilled that she was born safe and healthy.

Red Walls Equal Havoc in my Kitchen

Just a few pictures of my poor, pitiful dining room/kitchen. Will it ever look normal again? Just like my body, I'm beginning to wonder...

From the nursery, my dining room an explosion of crap (notice the Halloween tablecloth...that's so sad).

From the back french doors...more of the explosion.

The back wall of my living room. The color is much richer than the picture shows.

From the garage door entry, this is the wall that separates the living room and the kitchen.

Sleepy Weekend

Saturday, I woke up to hubby licking my face. Ugh! I hate when he does that. You know, I know that we've exchanged body fluids for years and that if anyone were to lick me, it should be him (since he's licked everything else...sorry, TMI) but, I still hate it. Anyway, he was just getting off work and getting dressed in his painter duds, in order to start work on the living room.

I rolled myself into the living room and watched him clear out the majority of the furniture. This included our 3, 6.5ft DVD stands, the coffee table and glass, the 52" t.v., the end tables and lamps and the DVD player. He moved the couch and love seat to the center of the room, then proceeded to wipe down and clean (prep) the walls. This took an hour and a half, then the actual painting began. His friend was over to learn, more than help and hubby seemed happy to have the company.

So, now my living room is Ivory with a beautiful, burgundy accent wall. It really makes the room pop. I love it! I can't wait for him to finish up with the border on top (which he hopes to get done in the next couple of days), but we'll see. There's a lot going on with work and the potential of me giving birth sometime this week. Will it happen? Huh! I just don't even try to guess anymore.

With all the homework going on, hubby and I are trying to figure our our plans for our anniversary, too. We actually celebrate the day we first got together, which was January 11, 1997 (9 years ago). I can't even believe it! It's a sweet story that I don't think I've shared on this blog, but will do so now. If it gets too sappy, feel free to page over.

In the fall of '96, I had placed myself on a self proclaimed man-strike. Why? Because, I was sick of their garbage, sick of their drama, sick of not being able to find one worth anything and just plain sick of men altogether. They were the bane of my existence and I wanted nothing to do with them. Thankfully, I wasn't so disgusted that I had to switch teams, but I have known people to do so. Anyway, the man-strike actually turned out to be wonderful for me. I did a lot of self improvement...I spent a lot more time writing and working on school projects (I was a senior in college, at the time) and more time with my friends and sorority sisters doing all sorts of service projects and good work in the community. One of the nice side-effects to all of this was a ten pound weight loss. I really felt and looked better than I had in a long time (but still wanted nothing to do with men).

Hubby and I had met when school started for me in the fall of '93. We tried to get together then, but I was a very "talkative" freshman, which inevitably destroyed any chance of us possibly getting together. After '94, hubby left school to take care of personal issues. I had friends who knew where he was in Nashville. We even ran into each other a couple of times, but it was the "pleasantly polite" syndrome that made being around him difficult.

One early morning in December of '96, I got a phone call. It was about 3ish and I had an 8:00 class coming up. I was none too happy to get a call this early; however, my mother always insisted that we take phone calls no matter what the time. She always said, "You never know what somebody may need." So, against my better judgment, I picked up the phone. It was him and it was weird and wonderful, all at the same time. He called to tell me that he felt we'd had a connection and, despite all the drama from years past, he still felt like we should have been together. He openend his heart about his feelings for me and how he harbored them for so long. We discussed this and other details about our lives for the next several hours (yep. I missed my class). After this phone call, we made plans to see each other. I would be going home (to Utah) for the Christmas break and he wanted to see me before I left. The night before my departure was total and utter bliss! He made me feel like the most special person on earth. I kept thinking, "Why me?" and "Maybe this is a mistake or a joke or something." But, it wasn't. He truly adored me and because I'd been on the "hate men" cycle for so long, it took a bit for me to absorb what was happening.

We communicated through the holidays...he would call two sometimes three times a day (his long distance bills completely out of control). When I returned from Utah, he had beautiful Christmas gifts for me and (it appeared) a heart full of love. I was still a little jaded, but I started to open up more with each phone call and each visit. On January 10th at around 11:30pm, we were talking on the phone when I broke down my walls and told him I loved him. We celebrate this day as the day we became "a couple". One year and three months later, we were married but we both felt we were ready to marry long before then. I am, however, glad that we waited.

Wednesday is the big day and it's going to be more low-key than in the past, what with the bed rest and all. I'm still excited, regardless. We can truly say that we have history together and both he and I appreciate how far we've come. Even though the road can get ultra rocky, we hold fast to our memories, to our respect for each other and our love. He is still my heart.

Lock-Down

I had my 39-week doctor's appointment, yesterday. I'm still reeling! Thirty-nine weeks! He's put me on bed rest. Below, I've pasted in the note that I sent to my coworkers about the "lock-down" he's put upon me:


Good morning, all!
As you know, I had my 39 week (can you believe that?!) appointment with the doc last night. My appointment was at 4:15 and I was weighed and ushered into a room at about that time. After the nurse took my blood pressure, she was not happy with the results, so took the pressure two additional times to be satisfied. I showed her my "cankles" and described how different they were from a couple of days ago. After the third try, I was still 120/110 (the first time it has been high during this pregnancy).
After my "void" test and another little chat with the nurse, I was sent back to my room to wait for the doc. He appeared shortly thereafter and took a look at my chart, emitting a concerned "Hmmm" as he looked. He then performed his "checks" and then asked me, "So, what are you doing tomorrow?"
"Umm, work and stuff," I said.
"Well, you may be delivering a baby, depending on what we find out about her. But first, I want you to lay on your left side for a few minutes, then I’ll send the nurse back to take your pressure again."
Okay total shock…but, the whale flipped over onto her left side and waited for the nurse like a good mammal. She returned, took my pressure again and sighed with relief – 120/80. "Much better," she said. The doc returned and said that he wanted to do a stress test on the baby. I get dressed and walk down the hall to a room with a Lazy-boy (I kid you not!) and the stress test machine next to it. They strap the monitors on, recline the Lazy-boy and ask me to push a sensor, every time the baby moves. Since the strapped-sensor was not cooperating, my left hand was in charge of holding it on. I looked like a contortionist! So, there I lay for about 45 minutes (anyone want to guess how many times my cell phone rang?).
The doc returns, reads the print out then calmly kneels down to my eye level and says, "Go to bed and lay on your left side. Don’t chase your daughter, don’t run with your dog. Don’t do anything but lay there. I want to see you on Tuesday morning, the earlier the better. At that time, we’ll make an assessment and see what’s happening. We may have to get her sooner rather than later."
His concerns; my blood pressure, a 4 pound weight gain since last week (who knew!) and the fact that she is still "very high". He says that her position takes the likelihood of a C-section way up. So, we’d have to induce and try to get her moving, if she’s not showing a "move south" by Tuesday.
So, it seems yesterday was the last time I will see you guys for a while, dang it! I was ready for Pei Wei! J I will be online (that, I can do) today, Monday and (hopefully) Tuesday afternoon. Of course, I will keep you posted on the news and what’s happening with ******. Thank you all for your support through all of this. You don’t know how much I appreciate it! (Sending big bear hugs through cyberspace). Please don’t hesitate to call, email or IM me. I’ll be here.
Thanks a heap and enjoy your weekend!

So, I suspect I'll start getting messages in the next little bit (it's not quite 8:00 here, and that's about when people start coming into work). I sent my note at the 5:30 hour, already having been online for an hour. I know. I must be out of my mind! I'm not exactly obeying doctor's orders, since I took my little one to my mother's this morning. Hey, she had to get to school somehow.

It's sort of weird thinking about the possibility of the baby coming next week. What day will it be? Will her birth story be as exciting as her sister's? (Hopefully exciting, without the sickness drama) When will it happen? Will it be a morning, afternoon or evening birth? Will she look like me or her daddy? Will she be an easy child to raise or will she cry continuously? How will our lives change, once she's here? I'm really excited but I won't get nervous until showtime (that's usually how things work for me).

Hubby was so sweet, yesterday. He stalked me until I answered the phone (I had not had an opportunity to tell him why my appointment ran from 4:15 to 6:00). He purchased fixings for soup and sandwiches, along with a lovely bouquet of flowers he and the babe picked up for me as well. He's gotten refocused on the painting again, now that it appears the baby may make her appearance next week (and not in June, as I predicted). I hope it's all done, dry and my furniture back in place before she gets here. I'd like to welcome her to our home, not our tornado disaster. We're so anxious to see her!

Happy New Year!

...and I'm still pregnant. No luck on having the New Year's baby and getting all the free stuff, dang it. Would have been nice, but no dice. Instead, my hubby and I watched the ball drop (as we've done since we got together in '97) then had our new year's kiss. He said, "Man, we're like an old couple," well, yeah, but there's something to be said about time and consistency. It was all very sweet.

We stayed up watching a bit of t.v. and listening to the ruckus outside (fireworks and such). The cop who lives across the street turned on their patrol car lights and sirens, once the clock ticked over. That was interesting. At around 2 ish, we retired to the bedroom and followed through with another tradition...woohoo! I'm almost to my tenth month of pregnancy and still have no problem with my libido (just my variety). When you're nearly 40 pounds over your normal weight (with most of it being in one place), it makes for limited creativity in the bedroom. I will say, at the sake of TMI, I was glad to have his "boys". It's supposed to encourage labor. We'll see...

So, I've had consistent contractions again this morning (since around 4:30ish). They're a bit different, but I'm afraid to do anything really until I know for sure. I'm so tired of "fall alarms", you know? They're more intense and I'm feeling them in my back as well as in my front. Again, I'm not saying a damn thing until I feel like I gotta crawl to get from place to place. To pass the time, I've been working to try and keep my mind off the discomfort. I just get so tired of not knowing what's real. So, time will tell.

Before New Year's, hubby went to his friends for a party (the evening of the 30th). Remember, this was his time to get "trashed" and let loose. Okay, I can respect that. So, I didn't wait up for him per se, but since I'm up every hour anyway, I was kind of hoping he would drag himself home really early and sleep out the remainder of his morning at home. By the time I was really ready to awaken (8:3o...totally late for me), no hubby. I called his cell...nothing. I waited an hour, then called again...nothing. Waited a half hour, called again. This time, I left a message. Another half hour, left another message. After that, me and the babe got dressed and went to the mall. (For some reason, this child loves the mall). I wanted to get out of the house before I went crazy with worry. I also wanted to give the babe an outing of some sort, since her daddy had promised to take she and I to the movies that afternoon.

So, off to the mall we went, walking around only for about half an hour before she said, "Okay, mommy. Can we go now?" We went to our favorite, Chinese buffet and had lunch together. As we sat there, she eyed something behind me on the wall and said, "Mommy, what's that green and white thing on the wall over there?" Honestly, I didn't see what she was talking about and gave her a blank, "I don't know, honey." She says (really trying to figure it out), "You see it, mommy? It's right there, next to the Budda." Huh? How in the world did she know Budda? "You know Budda," I ask her. "Yes. If you touch the Budda, he will make you strong and give you power." Well, who knew! I probed a bit more and learned that they studied him a bit in class. I was so happy that she was made aware, if only to understand that there are other religions and she should be respectful of them.

After lunch, we came home and got ready for our nap but before I put her down, I tried hubby one more time. He answered. I was pissed! I let him have it until the phone died about two minutes later. Basically, my beef was with the fact that he didn't call or anything to check on me. Your wife is one hundred months pregnant? You check on her ass - end of discussion. He claimed that the phone died, but I claimed that there are other phones besides cell phones. Find a freakin' land line, man!

I hate that when I get upset and angry, I cry. I don't want to come off like I'm weak and I always feel that's how it appears. I went downstairs to bawl some more, when he came home shortly thereafter. He apologized for being a big an ass and not calling and admitted that there was no excuse. He said that he would wake up and hear his boys laughing (probably at his snoring), the pass out again. By the time he was really awake, he went to get the phone and there were no cells on the battery. (Again, we do still have access to phones that are grounded by wires and trunk lines) We talked more then adjourned upstairs to our room, where he cuddled with me for about an hour. Sometimes, all you need is a little love to put out the fire. He then made good on his promise and took me and the babe to see King Kong. Awesome!