It's a new dawn, it's a new day, it's a new life..

Teacher Raves!

2012-02-09T20:28:00.002-07:00

I received an email today about Z and it was a wonderful update. She's been doing so much better with her listening, understanding and clarity. Hubby is actually looking into procuring something for himself. He's sure she inherited this disability from himself (although, he was never diagnosed). I let him know that he would have to say goodbye to the "rigorous" natural shows, since the drugs contain amphetamines. He seems okay with this. We'll see what happens...

Daughter Journaling - Days 5 and 6

2012-01-30T21:58:00.003-07:00

Still seeing pretty much the same kind of behaviors (not much new to tell). We have determined that we're very aware of when the medication wears off, especially hubby. The emotions are raw and intense (even the happy ones). Hubby's comment, "Is there a med that last 18 hours instead of twelve?" Oh, goodness.

On a side note, I may be in the job market again this summer. If things don't improve at my job very soon, I may have to say goodbye to my company of 11 years. It's been a good run but I'm getting to old to deal with the stress they're laying on us. There's really no reason for it, except folks are just trying to save a dollar and not hire more help.

Daughter Journaling - Day 4

2012-01-28T23:25:00.003-07:00

I started the day by preparing breakfast for my kids (sausage, eggs and cinnamon bagel halves with margarine). She took her pill directly after that. Then, I shampooed, conditioned, de-tangled and plaited Zee's hair. I then spent the next hour and one half tree braiding (crochet braiding) extensions in, using loose hair. She loves it! She can't keep her hands out of it, even though I tell her it will just make it look raggedy faster.

After her hair was finished, we cleaned house. She was very helpful (but she usually is) and I got no argument from her (more unusual). Then, we went to lunch with dad. After lunch, it was off to the store and not one outburst the entire time we were there (or odd remark or behavior). A nice change, indeed! We then came home and both girls laid down for naps.

When they awakened, we went to the grocery store. Nice! No issues at all, not even arguing with her sister. I was so pleased. I really hope it wasn't a fluke.

When we cam home, I made my mother's rotel dip and then went to a friend's house to see the MMA fight. It was a lot of fun. I couldn't eat much but, I did enjoy myself. Zaura was picture perfect. Then, my friend broke out the Wii dance games. All was fine and dandy, until around 9:30 or 10:00pm. That was about when Zee became really rambunctious and loud. The first thing I thought: "The medicine has worn off." It probably had, but she was probably tired too.

A few more games on the Wii, then we came home. She was, sadly, in the midst of an asthma attack. I determined that my friend's burning home candle set it off. Whenever we burn a candle these days, which is rare, we only burn it for an hour or so. My girlfriend's candle burned the entire time we were there and there's no way to know when she first lit it. Knowing what we know now, we stick to the Bath and Body Works "WallFlowers" line. No smoke or fumes to inhale and irritate her lungs.

So, my recap for the day is that Zee did very well. Tomorrow is a church day and we normally keep things fairly mellow. I don't suspect I'll notice much. We'll see.

Daughter Journaling - Day 3

2012-01-27T21:32:00.003-07:00

Hubby and I met with Zee's teachers today. The meeting was very positive and her teachers (even before knowing about the meds) indicated that she was improving. A math score 20 points higher than she's received all year, a reading test with significant improvements. These are very good signs indeed!

Her homeroom teacher told us that Zee announced she was on the meds the other day. Mrs. S. is on the lookout to see improvements and give us feedback. I'll, of course, post anything she has to say here. She also clued me into things going on with the curriculum this week (beginning algebra concepts and Zee's Zimbabwe paper needing a cultural segment).

As for today's observations by my daughter, she alerted me that she was able to sit and be occupied for a long time during the science fair, yesterday. She received a small award for doing so today. Terrific! She let us know that, she wasn't very hungry at lunch; however, after a bit of probing, she told us that the menu consisted of a hard chicken patty, celery with dip and cake for dessert. I think it was more likely she didn't want to eat the choices presented. Who would?!

We'll be able to observe her tomorrow and Sunday for the entire twelve hour block. I'll be doing her hair (crochet braids using Toyokalon rather than pre-braided hair; my first attempt) and the process can take a while. She's pretty good with me, now that she's older, but I'm curious to see if the meds change things. We also have church on Sunday, usually followed by family activities. I hope I'm not viewing her as a guinea pig too much, but the good things that can come out of this have me so psyched! Until tomorrow...

A Little Journaling for My Daughter (Days 1 and 2)

2012-01-26T20:10:00.003-07:00

A couple of months ago, my hubby and I were asked to meet with my eldest daughter's teachers. We did and discovered that daughter-dear is having some issues. Basically, she's struggling a bit with some of her subjects (we were already aware of this and were looking for ways to help her). She does well to a point, and then becomes very disorganized, distracted and forgetful. We dual assessed and her medical doctor determined that she is borderline ADD.

Before medicating, we talked with her about and have been strategizing with her teachers on ways to help her in the classroom. As for home, hubby and I are much more specific with our instructions and we take our time with explanations. We wanted to give everything the "old college try" before attempting more extreme measures.

The teachers are doing their part and are working with her closely. I also provided her with a digital recorder, so that she can bring her lessons home. Through all of this working with her, I've determined that she's an audio learner.

Last weekend, we went to the grocery store and my eldest really showed her true colors. It was all we could do to keep her maintained and we could see how hard it was for her to do calm down and handle what we were trying to tell her. I talked with hubby, did a bit more research and we decided to try the medication. The doctor has instructed us to watch her for 7 days (including the weekend for this week only) to see how she reacts. We were optimistic about what it could do for her and, knowing that it only stays in the system 12 hours, are hopeful the side effects, if any, aren't too much for her.

DAY 1: 1/25 (ironically, my birthday)

I gave Zee her first pill after a very hearty breakfast. When I picked her up from school, she commented on how in-tune she was to things. A friend's earring brushing against her jacket (Zee could hear it). She also commented on the striations in the pant on a door. The big eye opener was when she bumped a child in the highway, apologized then asked the girl who's class she was in. The child is in her class and has been since the beginning of the year. (Really?!)

When she came home, she proceeded to organize the entire kitchen (the pantries and the pot shelves). It was amazing! I noticed that she wasn't all over the place and was able to follow all of my instructions without forgetting everything five minutes later. I was hopeful this was all a good sign.

Hubby is incredibly intrigued, since Zee probably inherited the condition from himself. He has said that, depending on how she does, he may look into medicinal treatment. I reminded him that the drugs are often amphetamines and he would have to give up natural bodybuilding shows.

"If these help me to focus and stabilize, who cares about the shows." His words.

Day 2: 1/26

In the morning, she commented that she didn't fall asleep until twelve. Not sure if she was really wired or just excited about the prospects of what the medication is doing. With the little sleep she received, she was still up fairly early and didn't appear fatigued. She took her pill after breakfast and headed to school.

When I picked her up, she wasn't like she was yesterday, but she did appear to be fairly calm. She came home, she walked the dogs, got her snack together, played a violin song for me, then went to watch t.v with her sister. After work, I found her playing a game on her Blackberry Playbook. I asked her to do the dishes. She seemed very intent on her game. A few minutes later, I returned and asked her to do them again. Still, very into her game. I asked a third time and she went to accomplish the task. Not really sure of what to make of this, since I didn't specifically ask her to do them right then; however, after my second return to her room, it probably should have been obvious I was ready to have them cleaned.

Was the focus on the game part of the concentration? Maybe. She's not much of a gamer. She does have long periods of focus, if she's interested (drawing, dancing, listening to music). I'm also not sure if she's really just tired from lack of sleep last night. I suspect she'll head to bed with no problem anyway. Tonight was a dance night (hip-hop).

Day three tomorrow will consist of a follow-up meeting with the teachers. The nurse said the teachers probably won't see a difference until the entire seven days have passed. Her reasoning? With so many children in the class, it may not be so apparent at first. Zee happens to have nearly 45 in her room. We'll be lucky if her teacher notices in a month! I am curious, however, to see if they've noticed even a slight difference. Zee will also go to her counselor more regularly, too. She has an appointment next Friday. I want all of our bases covered. Anything we can do to help her succeed and not lose her self-esteem, will be beneficial in my book. Until tomorrow...

A Long, Tiring Day Gets Better

2011-05-16T21:15:00.005-06:00

This is my easy week for work (less calls), but the days are longer. I finished my last call after 6, then had to run to the grocery store for hubby's asparagus. While there, I picked up frozen meals for Indy's lunch this week. I'll be so happy to eat regular food again, soon. It was hard staring at all the pasta dishes she picked out. Oy!

Dance classes for adults. Where are they? I'm not talking about ballroom classes for those who are rhythmically challenged. I'm talking about a true, honest to God dance class for folks my age. I need one! What happen to all the Arthur Murray dance studios? Did they just leave Utah or have they completely gone defunct? I need a class and I need it now!

Swim season may get here, but I'm not sure. It just seems like winter just won't die around here. It's supposed to rain the rest of the week with temperatures in the 40's and 50's. What happen to our lovely 70 degree days? Rain is beautiful, but I'd like it much more if it were raining and 72 outside. At least then I could play in it.

Change of Venue

2011-05-11T20:01:00.000-06:00

We are preparing our house for potential buyers. I'm conflicted, but I don't feel nearly as bad about this as I did when I sold my car. Is that weird? Maybe it's because I really know it's time to leave. We've been here ten years. That's longer than I've ever lived in any one place in my life yet, I'm doing okay.

I'm sort of looking forward to a new place (we're going to rent for a while, then possibly buy again in a few years) and to all the new memories we'll create. Will I miss this place? Sure, but it's not going to make or break me. I hope that wherever we end up we'll just be happy and make good strides forward for our family. Then, whenever we do buy again, we live somewhere that's 100Xs better (physically and spiritually) and allows us to grow without being a burden. You know; just right for us.

A Very Happy Mother's Day

2011-05-08T20:21:00.002-06:00

I had a wonderful day today. I woke with a spring in my step and a sparkle in my eye. The girls were good (not one moment of bickering all day) and everyone spoiled me. First, we went to church and our pastor delivered a wonderful sermon to the"off-spring" rather than mothers. Several mother's were paid a tribute of beautiful, white roses -mother over 80, mother with the most children, mother with most generations present [my mother received that one] and the mother with the youngest child.

The girls came home and watched a movie, while mom paid tribute to dad by uploading the videos she took of his competition on YouTube and Facebook (I'm very proud). When hubby came home from work, we went to the Mongolian Grill for dinner. It was divine and I actually maintained my self control. There were big bowls of cabbage, cucumbers, celery and green onions with minimal meat, since I couldn't weigh at the restaurant. This was the only meal I had today (I didn't want to tempt fate).

After dinner, we went shopping for shoes. My favorite sassy sandals tore up, the other day, so I've been on the look-out for a replacement pair. Haven't found any I really like (What's up, DSW?!), until this evening. Hubby spotted those and new sneakers for me at the Ross Dress for less. I have a feeling my knee will be feeling a lot better, now that I have better support.

This evening, hubby and I spent some time "dreaming" and "visualizing" about some of the places we would like to vacation to. The Bahamas, St. Croix, Hawaii, Cancun, Montego Bay were all part of our wish list, as we perused various all-inclusive sites. We have this wish to go somewhere together, without the children. This may sound harsh but, we never had a real honeymoon. We're certainly over due. Besides, the kids travel with us everywhere else. I know I wasn't fortunate enough to go with my parents on a cruise for a vacation. They've got it pretty good.

Anniversary Getaway

2011-05-04T20:38:00.002-06:00

Hubby has planned a little anniversary getaway for us, later this month. I'm so excited! It will be the first time we've gotten away without the kids in a coon's age. Friends of his are going to keep both of our girls. I'm still reeling over that! Hooray! "Thank you! Thank you! Thank you!"

We've decided to go somewhere neither one of us has ever been before; Lava Hot Springs . I'm anxious to see these springs, the Portneuf river and remnants of the Oregon trail. It should be a fun trip with lots of photo opportunities. Maybe hubby will even let me video tape him. Uh, okay. Well, here's to hoping

I love having trips to look forward to. A side dream is to have one getaway to look forward to each month. It doesn't have to be out of state, but somewhere unique and away from the everyday of life. Perhaps, in the future, my "away" will be to far off places. Again, here's to hoping.

Holding Off from Shortening Your Child's Life

2011-05-03T22:13:00.003-06:00

I'll keep it short and sweet. My daughter pushed both my hubby and I to the limits tonight. I'm going to try and be positive before I go to bed. I don't want to go to sleep stressed-out. I'm drinking my vodka and sprite now...

My 2011 Mantra and the Law of Attraction

2011-05-02T07:24:00.003-06:00

I finally watched the film The Secret with my daughter, yesterday. There were so many biblical references, which pleased me to know end (especially with my daughter watching). It's so important that she see the spiritual implications of this idea and how powerful it can be. It allowed us to have a really good dialogue, a very rare thing indeed.

My mantra for the year is "Nan kuru nai sah", which means, "Live for today, but look forward to tomorrow". I've found a lot of peace with this phrase, despite how hard the year began for me. Now that I've seen The Secret and am now reading the book, I am hopeful for bigger and better as 2011 continues and as future years pass.

Zee is also embrassing the spirit. The changes may not happen right away, but I'm visualizing life with my daughters in a new way. Rather than day after day of struggle, I'm seeing "peace in the valley". I want a really good and happy relationship with both of them. I also want a blissful relationship with my husband. I deserve and can have these things. Why is it that I'm just understanding it now?

The goal for the week is to put together my "life book" with images of my hopes and aspirations inside. I have done something similar in the past, when it came to my weight loss. It really does work. Having the images to focus on puts the idea front and center. The Enchantress site even had a "dream big" post with images that I was able to have a year later. Amazing! I'm very excited and the feelings are true and strong. The book will stay close by for rejuvenation. Truly I am moving onward and upward.

On with the Show

2011-04-28T11:25:00.004-06:00

Hubby left this morning to participate in his second body-building show of the season. He's going to Idaho and I'm very excited for him. He's been in such great shape this season and his new regime has really done wonders for his overall appearance. Interestingly enough, he's getting more criticism about whether he truly is natural or not. I think it's quite the compliment! He's actually showing that you can have nice muscle mass without the need for steroids. Rather than criticising, they should take the hint.

The weekend will be somewhat lonely without him but I'll have plenty to keep me busy. The girls and I will spend tomorrow cleaning house (sweeping, mopping, vacuuming and giving the bathrooms a good scrubbing). I'll also go back over areas of my carpet that I recently shampooed, since the dog decided to vomit in various places. Ugh! He would do it two days after I'd shampooed all the carpets and rugs in the house. Nice.

Saturday, the eldest has to take dance pictures. One of the sittings involves "casual wear" this year. Casual for my tween is a little too casual for the everyday observer, so I'm going to take her shopping for casual that doesn't make her look like a ragamuffin. Even some of the Bermuda shorts that are out now should work nicely. The thing to stress with her is lotion; some pictures have her looking oh, so lovely but ashy, ashy, ashy!

Sunday we'll go to church and then await hubby's return. He wants to go somewhere nice for dinner that night and mentioned one of the local Brazilian restaurants in town. I love them, but they don't differentiate pricing with age too much. The youngest would be free, but we'd still be looking at around $70 for dinner. That's a little too rich for my penny-pinching blood.

I'm really starting to look forward to our vacation this summer. We're going to the location pictured on the right. The eldest keeps asking things like, "How long is the drive to our vacation," and "What will we do when we get there?" Can't kids just be happy with surprises?

The youngest doesn't care, just so long as we get to stay in a hotel. That's the best thing about traveling for her; the hotel stay. When I was little, I loved staying in hotels, too. Our kids have had the opportunity to, not only stay in hotels, but resort locations. They are truly spoiled and don't know how good they've got it. My hubby tries to tell them but I'm not sure they comprehend the totality of what they have just yet.

The sad thing is that with the way the gas prices are rising, the driving will be the most expensive aspect of our trip. Will we really have gas at nearly $4.00 per gallon by summer? It makes my heart drop just to think about it. I'm trying to remain positive and look forward to the happy times (and memories) we'll create when we go. I'm also hopeful that I won't look scary in my two piece when the time finally arrives.

I'm Still Here!!

2011-04-27T16:54:00.003-06:00

I've been posting more on the other site, but I'm still around. What's going on with me? Well, I certainly haven't been writing on my blog (sarcastic snicker). Work has, unfortunately, become my life and I don't think I like that very much. If I could come down to part-time hours, I would be one happy lady. My lifestyle is not one that can be managed on a part-time income. I am at an impasse.

Yeesh! Has it really been since August of 2010 that I've posted? "Bad! Bad, Enchantress. How can you enchant the masses if you're not writing?" So, I will write. Alas, I have fallen victim to the Facebook epidemic like so many others. Although I don't say much, that is where I am. It's really not as fulfilling as writing here. I will be better about posting on both the Enchantress site and the New Dawn site in the future.

Since I'm still working and have to run to a call, I'll be back again. This time, I promise.

A Touch of Fall

2010-08-30T11:27:00.003-06:00

It's pouring rain here, today. What happen to the 90 degree weather? For the last week or so the weather has been crazy weird. Today, it's only going to get up to 68 degrees today. I've got my space heater on. Space heater...in August?!

My job schedule has settled a bit, but it will go through drama again in October. Every month for the next few months, I'm slated to get new appointments. It makes for mania at the beginning, then things settle at the end. I hope and pray that things truly get easier for me. It's been quite the roller coaster.

Our vacation begins this week and I'm so thrilled! I hope travels are safe and things go smoothly (no scary surprises or weirdness). Seems like we always have something arise that catches us off guard. I'll say this, if something does arise, I hope we're able to handle it with stride. I don't want to be stressing out over the next two weeks. That is not a vacation.

Hubby has decided to only do the one remaining shows, rather than the two that are coming up. He says that he does want to be around the house more, which makes me happy, but I have heard this. Something always seems to come up (whether it's work or more clients). I'm trying to stay positive.

My eldest started school last week. So far, she likes her teacher but she keeps hearing things about her from other kids. I keep telling her that she has to make her own decisions about her (although I know how hard that is for a kid; outside pressure is no joke in school). My youngest starts preschool next week, but we'll be on vacation. I hope we'll get to meet her teacher this week so that the Indy isn't shocked into a new situation without some preparation. The teacher is supposed to call me and set up a time. I hope she doesn't forget (but I'll call her if I don't hear anything).

I've put on a few pounds that I'm trying to relieve myself of before we leave Friday. It's going to be hard, but I think I can do it. After we return, I'm back on the plan to really get to my goal weight (I was so close the last time). Crossing my fingers and my toes that I do!

Having A Long Weekend with my Hubby

2010-07-29T09:48:00.002-06:00

97°F | °C

Current: Mostly Cloudy
Wind: SE at 8 mph
Humidity: 22%

Thu

104°F | 88°F

Fri

107°F | 87°F

Sat

105°F | 86°F

Sun

100°F | 88°F

Wow! This is what we're preparing for. I plan to be hanging around the pool as much as possible, to avoid these crazy temperatures.We leave out tomorrow morning and my brother-in-law (not the lummox) is staying at our home to babysit the dogs. Despite it not being the lummox, I'm still nervous and I hope hubby is clear on the ground rules. I hated the violation I felt the last time we left a relative in our home. My girls, thankfully, are staying with their aunt and cousins so, they won't get bored and they'll probably not even miss us.

Hubby's motive is to travel to a professional bodybuilding show as a spectator and possibly gain some sponsorship. I hope that he can network and gain what he needs while we're away. I also hope he doesn't forget about me. So often, a business/pleasure trip can tilt too far in one direction. I can just imagine taking the car and returning hours later to him not even realizing I had left in the first place. He could get that involved with the people he's talking to.

August is nearly here! Were the heck did the summer go? I'm not complaining at all (the sooner my eldest gets back into the classroom the better). I am getting anxious now about our vacation plans, since not everything is in place yet. We've got to get on that. Perhaps hubby and I can make an appointment for ourselves, so that we can get all of that taken care of next week.

Also, the Babe's birthday is coming up. I've created her invites and have in mind what the girls will be doing. I've even made arrangements for her sister, so that Indy doesn't cramp her style while they're trying to be all "preteeny". The cake just needs to be ordered, the gift bags put together and the pajamas purchased (It's an "All Day All Night Pajama Party"). I'm even on the lookout for cute jammers.

So, here's to my Thursday/Friday and having a weekend with hubby. I'll be crossing my fingers that I don't melt from the heat and hubby remembers that I'm there.

Comfort-Level

2010-07-27T06:59:00.003-06:00

There is a certain comfort-level that we have with various people in our lives. Some people we keep at arms length with the attitude of, "That's close enough," in our minds, every time we see them. Other people we may feel compelled to hug even when we saw them just moments before. Then, there are those who provide us a service; pedicurists, hair dressers, dentists etc... who are paid (sometimes quite well) to have close, physical contact with us all the time. Many of these people touch us more than our own family (which is an entirely separate post).

Yesterday, my daughters and I drove nearly forty miles into the city to say good-bye to their pediatrician. This man is simply remarkable and I would have driven 300 miles to tell him so. When I was pregnant with my eldest, I was working for a child advocacy organization in their media department. As I was compiling media clips, I came across an article about a man who was being honored as the humanitarian of the year for the state. This man was a pediatrician who had devoted countless hours to the health and preservation of children, not just under his care, but everywhere. I took a risk and called his office to see if he was taking any new patients. To my delight, he was.

I told the receptionist that I was due to have my first child in a month or two and that I was on the hunt for a new pediatrician. It seems he would want an appointment with me, even before the baby arrived. How novel! I made an appointment then went to seem him a couple of weeks later.

Right away I like him. He was friendly, personable, caring and an active listener. He had also adopted children of different nationalities, so he had a broad sense of caring that other doctors here seemed to lack. He was a wealth of information and I felt very confident in my choice after meeting with him. Very shortly after my eldest was born, we began our well-baby visits with him and have continued with the same doctor ever since. When he discovered I was pregnant again in 2005 (I already knew he wasn't taking any more patients and was thinking about retirement, so I didn't even ask), he asked me, "So, will I be taking care of this one, too?" (pointing to my belly). Hell yeah! I was thrilled!

More than once, he has saved my daughter's life and I will forever be grateful to him. Even now, I'm tearing up just thinking about how dutiful he was, when she entered the hospital at four months old. A couple of years ago, he told me about how his wife was ailing (cancer) and just a few months ago, she was in the hospital and he was visiting her everyday (sometimes between patient visits). During our last visit, my daughter saw an obituary pinned to a cork-board in the office, "Hey, mom. That says Dr. T's wife died." After being shown to our room, we waited for his arrival. I asked him about his wife, as I always did during our visits, she'd passed away and that day was his first day back in the office. We stood there hugging for I don't know how long. I held back my tears as he became a bit emotional. My heart broke for him that day.

Selfishly, I considered the possibility that he might delay his retirement. I wondered if he would reconsider since having the kids to care for may be good recovery. We received the "retirement party" card in the mail last week. Well, at least I know he'll get the rest and time off he truly deserves.

My eldest jumped into his arms last night (no exaggeration). He lifted all 70 pounds of her off the ground. I wanted to cry so bad, but I held back. I hugged him and whispered in his ear how much we'll all miss him. I really, really will. The floodgate has opened now so , I'd better stop typing.

Meetings and Returning to Normal

2010-07-22T08:44:00.006-06:00

Last week, I was on lock-down for work. We were in the midst of marathon-long meetings. Talk about being exhausted! There just weren't enough breaks during the day and I will definitely sneak away more in February (when we do this all over again).

I would leave the house at 6:30am (which means I was up at 5:30am. Not that unusual for me, but still pretty early.) I would then drive the 35 minutes or so into town to the conference/hotel location. We would eat breakfast, then begin our meetings for the day at around 8:30am. By noon, we would eat lunch, then be right back into our sessions. At 5:00pm, dinner would be served then either back into sessions, a presentation or some sort of planned event (I did win one of the raffle prizes; an iPod shuffle...nice, but I already have two and a Nano...oh, well).

By Saturday, I was completely wiped out. When I finally got home Saturday afternoon, I took a much needed nap. Boy, was that nice! I actually looked forward to my regular (?) work week (still getting used to that schedule, too).

The family has invited a slew of friends over this weekend for a fish fry. Not only will we have fish, but hubby has requested my "famous" fried chicken and savory, summer pasta salad. I will also make my Kahlua cake and chocolate chip cookies for the kids. Since I'm still not eating sugar or starches, I'll have to fry up my fish without the batter. That should be interesting. I have to say, though, I don't mind...especially if it keeps me in this size 6 I'm currently wearing.

I will be one cooking fiend! It should be fun and we'll all be out on the deck, enjoying each other's company. There will be a bit of liquor on flow, so I hope nobody gets too crazy (my mother will be there, after all). Saturday also happens to be a Utah holiday. I'll say this; most people are not found "drinking it up" on this particular day.

T.V. Movies - Those were the days...

2010-06-30T09:36:00.002-06:00

Hulu is definitely a treasure-trove of hidden jewels. Sometimes, you can find the most funny, interesting and terrifying clips and movies by just one simple search. I have been unfortunate enough to stumble upon "crap on a stick" too. Thank goodness for the comments people share.

One of the things that I've rediscovered are really well-produced t.v. movies. Remember the late 70s and 80s when you would beg your mother to stay up late so that you could finish that great movie being show on t.v.? I'm not talking about cable, I'm talking your basic, local channels. Okay, maybe that was just me. I remember missing the last part of Lace when I was in Elementary school and everyone was talking about it the next day. I hated not being a part of the discussion, only the person who go to hear what happened because her mother put her to bed too early.

T.V. movies were slowly replaced by reality t.v. and it's not a replacement I was happy to see by any stretch of the imagination. True. Some of the shows are amusing, but many are regurgitated written-behind-the-scenes stories meant to lure us in with whatever will keep us watching (bring on the trash!).

So, if you're looking for old Lifetime favorites or perhaps late-night flicks that came on when you were child (and had to go to bed), check out Hulu. You may very well find what you're looking for.

Feeling Cruddy

2010-06-28T13:27:00.004-06:00

We've had the air on for the last two weeks and I think it's been a little too cold in the house. I've adjusted the thermostat, but I think I'm a day too late. The cold air and my exposed chest were not a good combination, dang it!

I drank a hot toddy during work hours...not the wisest idea, but a necessity. That helped for a bit and then I realized a nap was inevitable, so I took a Sudafed a little while ago. That seems to be making more of an impact on my upper respiratory issues and throat drama.

My girls already know that I'm not feeling my best. If I did take a nap after work, I don't think they'd care much. I am happy that things seem to be going well for them, with the occasional argument only lasting a few minutes or so.

The babe had her hair permed yesterday for the first time in 5 years. That child has so much hair! It really is gorgeous. She wants the opportunity to learn how to style and manage her hair and I told her she could do that this summer. Anyway, she seems to be very happy so far and is running around with it down, around her shoulders. My only worry is that the chemicals will do what they did to mine; break down the integrity and cause massive amounts of breakage. Five years of natural hair has made her hair long, healthy and strong. I hope she handles it well.

Further on the hair front, I'll probably take down Indy's, sometime this week and redo her braids. They are looking cat-raggedy! My hair will be done on Friday evening and I am too thrilled. I'm sort of in need of a break.

The Small Adventures of Life

2010-06-24T07:44:00.003-06:00

I have several coming up this summer and into the fall. It's important to have something to look forward to...to break the monotony of life and experience something fun, new, and adventurous. For July, we have the holiday (of course) but we're also planning a get together for friends and family during the middle part of the month. A southern-style fish-fry is on tap and I am too excited! My contributions will be the spaghetti (very southern to eat it with fried catfish nuggets) and fried chicken (by request of hubby, who has been hankering for some for months). There will, of course, be the sides and desserts a-plenty. Since we plan on a big group, a lot of food is a good idea anyway. This is a huge deal for us because we haven't entertained at our house in a very long time.

Part of the reason is because of our kitchen. It is, in a nutshell, prehistoric and I am now utterly embarrassed to have people look at it...which leads to another adventure (I hope!); The Reconstruction of the Crappy Kitchen. I'm talking new floors, new cabinets, built-ins, design touches the works! Then, I'll be one entertaining heifer! Meanwhile, we will have our guests cloistered on the deck and in the backyard, rather than milling around in the unappealing kitchen.

For the end of July, hubby and I are getting away together. I am sooooo looking forward to that trip. Any time we can run away from our children for a little while is great for me. We can relax, decharge, and enjoy each others company to the fullest. We use this time to remember why we're a couple and why we're still married.

August is birthday month for the eldest. She is set on having another sleepover but this time, she wants a "pajama party." How is this different from a sleepover, you might ask? Well, the girls will be in their pajamas the entire time. If I take them to the grocery store? Pajamas; To the mall? Pajamas; the skating rink? Pajamas. I'm still trying to determine how many girls can participate because my car is only so big and I have a booster seat still for the youngest (the law says until 80 pounds or 8 years old, in this state). That thing really takes up a lot more room than it should. I've told her that, because she is getting older, we may not have the "staples" for food items. I thought I might have a sandwich or food tray catered by Jason's Deli, Chik-fil-a or Target and, maybe, do an ice-cream bar instead of regular birthday cake. I've got some time to come up with something fun.

The end of August will bring a concert for the entire family (my immediate, along with my mother and sister). We are going up into the mountains for this concert, which should be a ton of fun. Outdoor venue listening is far superior to me than being trapped in an enclosed amphitheater. I would much rather enjoy the beautiful scenery around me while listening to great music than to deal with the foul smells of people sitting too close to me who need a reminder in hygiene. After the concert, well will stay at a rented condo for the night.

Then, of course, September is vacation month. That will be the grand finale to the summer and (hopefully) the best part. September is the month of change and I hope that the changes are positive and forward thinking. I do not want a repeat of some Septembers past. I am grateful that the year, up to this point, has been really fulfilling. Bring on the adventures!

Father's Day and Summer Solstice

2010-06-22T09:34:00.003-06:00

Ah...the summer solstice. It's official! The kids are out of school, they're running around the neighborhoods and the ice cream is on flow. To be a kid again! They seem to be having the time of their lives (someone should tell them that they are).

My eldest is participating in drama camp this week. She been so excited to start and, even last night, she's still felt the jitters. This morning she asked me to run lines with her (but, she hadn't really read through the play properly in order to do this). She spent about forty-five minutes doing so then tested her lines on me. So passionate! Maybe there's an actress in the making... a triple-threat, even!

The youngest is still going to preschool two days per week. She begins swim lessons next Saturday and tells anyone who will listen to her. She loves and fears the water equally, so I hope this year's batch of lessons will get her past her fear. My sister keeps taking her to the pool and will bring her into the water so aggressively that I wonder about her success in her classes.

We took my hubby to Father's day dinner on Sunday but before that, he got to open presents. It should be a joyous thing to open gifts but he always acts as if he doesn't deserve them and shouldn't be allowed to open them. I know this comes from his upbringing but it still makes me sad. I want him to know how much we appreciate him and love him. I tell him and shower him with gifts (when I can), but he still seems so ambiguous about them. Oh well, I won't stop trying.

My sister emailed me this morning with the news that she's lost a total of 41lbs. GC mentioned losing a pound and I celebrate successes like these (no matter how big or small). It's so easy to put on weight but it takes major work to get it off. I'm still "working" towards my goal and, despite the stumbling blocks, I know that I'll see my reward. I hope we all do. :)

Couple Gets Away...And Wishes for More Time

2010-06-14T20:33:00.003-06:00

Saturday night was wonderful and I could have had 7 more days just like it. We left our home around 4:30pm and drove to the hotel. After we checked in, we headed for the restaurant for dinner. A table in the corner for two including lovely, mellow music and mood lighting? Who could ask for more!

I had the miso soup and curry chicken, while hubby filled up on wonton chips and sauce before his hot and sour soup and General Tao's chicken arrived. Needless to say, he had a lot of leftovers. Green tea and great conversation filled our booth. After wards, we headed to the Ross (hubby spilled sweet and sour sauce oh his rockin' white shirt) where he found a cool, DKNY T-shirt that complimented his style and fabulous physique.

We journeyed to a mall we haven't been too in years, only to find that it has been made-over "trendy" (Aldo, Bebe, Cache', etc...). A dress hubby spotted for me was $98.00 on sale. Yeesh! Obviously, it stayed on the hanger in the store. I tried on some jeans at Charlotte Russe, but they always look so strange on me. Not to mention, they are way too long for a petite legs. I'm 5'2, for heaven's sake!

After the mall, we went back to the hotel to swim. The pool was filled to the brim with kids at 10:00pm. Oh, no! In the room, we decided we were hungry and went back out to pick up some goodies. So-not on my diet. Chicken fajitas with peppers and spices. Glorious! I knew I'd pay for it later. When we checked the pool again at 10:30pm? Still bursting with children. No swimming for us on this trip.

The next morning, we thought about going to the movies but every show started too late. So, more shopping (hubby bought me two, new dresses. One of which resembled the outrageously expensive number we saw at the boutique the night before) and a lovely lunch at the Mongolian grill (too much salt...not good for the diet at all). We had such a great time, we stalled a bit when my sister called to tell us she was ready for us to get the kids.

I told hubby I'm hoping that we'll have a bit of kid-care on our vacation so we can have some couple time like that again, but in much bigger doses. I really do enjoy his company.

Summer and Recitals

2010-06-09T13:31:00.002-06:00

The first recital was last night and my eldest performed. Awesome job! Truly! I've watched this dance all spring and I think last night's performance was the best yet. I wasn't thrilled about the makeup job I did, but who cares. It's all about the talent (she did love her falsies, though...batted her eyes to anyone who would look at her).

Tonight is the last night and both of my girls will be on stage. The youngest is currently taking a nap. She needs her stamina for the long night (and boy was it ever long last night). We got to the high school at around 5:15 because that is what the instructors requested of all the dancers. The show didn't start until 6:30pm. My daughter's routine? Number 37 out of forty-two. Sweet! We didn't get home till close to nine. My youngest nearly passed out eating her dinner, so I just put her to bed. Hopefully, with the good nap, it won't be as hard on either of them.

They have been extraordinarily good with each other during the break, so far. I'm surprised but won't look a gift horse in the mouth. Can't say how long it will last, but I am happy that the eldest is trying to show a bit of responsibility. I want that to just blossom this summer and I'm praying she'll be a more mature child by the time fifth grade starts. I need that to alleviate a lot of my stress.

Hubby and I are having a Saturday night away from the kids. We're so excited! I hope we can find something fun to do. I'm still on the strict part of my diet so, we were up one night looking at restaurants that offer items that I may be able to eat. I'll be so glad when this phase is over so that I can incorporate more goodies again. Broccoli sounds good at this point; however, my diminishing figure is great too.

First Day and Pre Memorial Day BBQ

2010-05-30T20:36:00.002-06:00

So, I got through my first bunch of calls on Friday. Scary! I wasn't really sure what to expect but, overall, I think everything went well. I'll have more this week and will continue to follow-up with the my people. Friday, I'll take a half day to spend with my oldest, as it is the last day of school and their school's field day. It's the one day of the year where I can volunteer in good conscious whilst taking vacation time.

The Babe's sleepover went well. Her cousin didn't come over until after 7:00pm but, before that time, I had the Babe and Indy make their own pizza. They loved it and when cousin came over (even after already having dinner) had a big piece herself. They ate popcorn and watched a scary movie. After wards, they came upstairs and performed makeovers and painted their nails. By midnight, I was ushering them off to bed.

In the morning, I made pancakes and bacon for breakfast. I skillet fried an entire package and they managed to leave one slice for my hubby...one. Wow. Hubby worked out in the yard while they played for about an hour. Then, we ran errands the rest of the day. They were all pretty tuckered out by the time we dropped off cousin at home. Interestingly, her brother seemed glad to have her back.

My mother grilled today and boy was it tasty! Giant hot dogs, halibut, salmon, tilapia, and chicken...corn on the cob, potato salad, spinach salad, green bean casserole and fresh fruit. I wish I could say that I'm excited for the 4th but, unfortunately, my choices will be limited then, too. Anyway, it's always good to get with family and have a good time (regardless of food).

My Memorial Day thoughts are with my grandmother this year. Today was her birthday. I miss her a lot, but I know that she must be happier and at peace. I hope that I have her as a guardian angel to watch over me and my family. I could certainly use the extra help through life.

Nearing the End of My Training

2010-05-27T15:36:00.003-06:00

I'm glad that's it's almost done, but I'm also very nervous. I don't have any idea how I'm going to sound to all the newbies I call tomorrow and next week. Will they be receptive to me? Will they feel confident having me guide them through their programs? Will they see through my facade and realize that I have no idea what I'm doing?

The babe is having her cousin over tomorrow night for a sleep over. This is after their school's yearly carnival. I'm sure I'll be over kids, but I did promise her she could do it. I'll be creative and find fun, healthy things for them to eat (since we already had pizza earlier this week). I am glad it's just her "girl" cousin. Having both of them here is tricky, especially since the "boy" cousin has lots of issues. Besides, he gets bored quickly, only having girls to talk to.

I renewed my car today. They said they'd take 30 minutes and that's exactly how long they took (for emissions and safety). Yeah! Love it when people follow-through on their promises.

We're going to my mother's for a BBQ on Sunday. Her reasoning is that, we have Monday off; better to grill out Sunday after church, then enjoy the day off. I love that reasoning and am sure she'll do the same for the fourth. If we have a new deck table, perhaps we'll host the 4th this year. Hubby sure loves his grill.

The diet is hard. It always is, the first three days. So, if I can get through tomorrow without gnawing off my arm, I'll be golden.

New Job and Long Training Hours

2010-05-23T21:39:00.003-06:00

I'm still here, but my new position has some crazy long training hours (well, crazy long for me). I am on information overload and I keep wondering if everything will come together. I hope so, I don't want to steer anyone in the wrong direction. That has been the hard part for me; I just don't know very much and the comfort of knowing exactly what to do has evaporated.

Hubby had his last competition of the spring, this weekend. He won! He is now an NGA pro-card holder which, in lay-men's terms; he is now a professional bodybuilder. Sweet! I was so proud of him and it was a very good show. We mixed his music, using the music from my daughter's competitions this year. She was so overwhelmed she cried back stage for him. Too precious. He's on cloud nine, as you can imagine and I'm floating right alongside him.

I'm going back on my diet tomorrow. It's weird to think that I'll be doing this again. I'm raring to go, but a bit nervous. People try a second time usually have troubles. I'm just hoping that I can prove that I'm above type and really accomplish great releases. I'm certainly not off to a good start, however. The whole family has been celebrating hubby's success this weekend with food...bad foods.

Next week is the last week of school and, along with being official in my new job, both girls will be home. Yikes! I've got to start planning what to do with them. She can't just sit around eating all summer. I think I'll pretty much force her to enjoy her summer outdoors being creative. Too bad there aren't the kind of camps here that I had as a child. Aside from one week of drama camp and one week of dance camp, that's all she'll get.

Finally, I've been reconsidering the whole "try the figure competition" idea. I dunno if I have "the stuff" hubby's got but it would definitely make me stand out, here. There are no black figure competitors in this state (well, that I've seen). Where are they? I've seen several fit black women around. Perhaps they're just not aware such a thing exists. If I decide that I'll try, there's a lot of investment involved (physically and financially). I think I'll keep considering and see if things fall into place.

A Mixed Feeling Week and a Big Weekend

2010-05-14T09:03:00.003-06:00

This past week has been very odd, indeed. I've been saying good bye to my in-office coworkers and trying to prepare myself, mentally, for the change in my employment. I've had so many people reach out and say how much they appreciated my work and dedication. It has meant so much to hear from people; some of whom I haven't heard from in months. I suppose I've made a mark in my company. Sometimes, it's hard to know if what you're doing is really making any difference.

Yesterday, my team had balloons, cake and wonderful gifts for me. I was so touched by their kindness, but I held back the tears. Two coworkers, whom I haven't seen for months, came in with their kids for a visit. It was great to catch up and hear about their lives. It was also interesting to see how "out of touch" they both were with the goings on in the company (they both telecommute full time). I now see aspects of the job that will be hidden from me, once I'm home all the time. I don't mind being "out of the loop" where work bureaucracy is concerned.

Hubby and the babe are competing in a show together tomorrow. I'm so excited and nervous for them. Hubby is supposed to be working with the babe on her routine (it has yet to happen). I was going to add my "feminine flavor" so that she doesn't come off too masculine in her performance. I hope they get it together today because she really is feeling a bit insecure. I don't blame her; however, it hasn't shaken her resolve. She's still ready to take on the kid events tomorrow. What a trooper!

We've booked our vacation! I'm so excited but still in disbelief. We bit the bullet this year and spent the money to try something new. I won't go into the details yet but, I'll say this: I think it's exactly what we all need and definitely something we'll do again. I am confident of that.

Updating Myself

2010-05-06T12:10:00.003-06:00

With a new body, I've been seeking out clothes more than I used to. It always happens when I lose a little weight, but even more so now. I've been taking an opportunity to actually look at the clothing sale emails I get and have considered placing orders for lots of cute gear.

The fact is, I have so much (still) that I haven't worn and have been looking forward to wearing for just this time in my life. Some of it I'm a little afraid to wear. My hubby likes what I call, "naked" clothes and I'm a little self-conscious yet about wearing that stuff. I still have about 15 more pounds I want to lose and the plan is to get those off this summer. I've been wondering if I'll feel a little more self confident at that time to wear the "nakedness".

I haven't begun my workout plan this week like I wanted to. Some thing or another has sabotaged every morning that I would have gotten in a cardio session. It usually starts with whatever drama I've created the night before. For example, this weekend hubby has another show. We were up until midnight last night mixing his 60 second posing song for his routine (Didn't know I was a D.J., did you!). Anyway, after I completed the mp3 creation I knew there was no way I was going to get up and do the elliptical thing.

I don't dare say, "Maybe I'll start tomorrow," anymore because I keep jinxing myself. I do want to and the motivation is certainly there. I don't want arms flapping in the wind when I bust out the bathing suit. No matter what any one says, that is never a good look (young, old, big or skinny).

With all this updating, it really won't matter in a matter of weeks because I won't have to worry too much about my appearance. Working from home, I suppose I'll need only to update my sweat suits?! Of course, I'll still go out to grocery shop and taxi my kids. The occasional date with my hubby and church will be the time that effort is truly expended. It seems so weird! I could just look good for me and my dogs. Nah.

The night before, he kept me up discussing house projects we have to complete before the summer. Why do these discussions occur at night? Because, he doesn't get home until nearly 8 or 9 o'clock most evenings. An earlier night this week, we were helping the babe with her crazy math homework. I don't remember my homework being this insane in elementary school. What's going on, these days?

Whenever I do, I'm prepared. It's been two months and it's going to kick my tail all over the basement. I'll need plenty of potassium and apple cider vinegar for cramps and overall soreness. Why am I inviting all this agony? My hubby can't be the only one in the house who's rockin' a hard body. It's my turn.

Just Die, Old Man Winter!

2010-04-30T09:10:00.003-06:00

Do you know we were in the midst of a snow storm, yesterday? A.freaking.snow.storm. Yes. I was not happy. I looked super cute, but I wasn't happy. Why oh why won't old man winter just die, already? You're time is over! Get the hell outta here!

The next few days (um, May starts tomorrow?!) are supposed to be cold and rainy/snowy. The good news is that it's not sticking; however, the flowers look sad and pathetic. I looked at the ten-day forecast and, at least, Mother's day looks like it will be nice (76). Of course, we'll all have colds and flus because of this blasted weather that can't make up it's mind.

Speaking of Mother's day, I found a lovely diamond necklace for my mom. I wasn't planning on buying her diamonds, but I found this piece for a steal and just couldn't leave it in the store. It even says Mom! I hope she likes it and actually wears it. So often, she's so happy to receive things but then won't wear them. I plan on just putting it on her in church when I see her. No choices, right?

I am happy it's Friday (even though it's colder than the 9th layer of hell) but I do wish my hubby weren't off and away. He's going to Boise for his show this weekend (a five hour drive) and I won't see him until late, Sunday. I will be drowning my sorrows in computer games I purchase from Office Depot (they're having a sale, currently). My poor computer is so full of games already. I am especially fond of time management games like Diner Dash, Wedding Dash, Dairy Queen Tycoon and Delicious. So pitiful, huh?

My Hubby is Wearing Himself Out

2010-04-28T13:38:00.003-06:00

He has signed up for another show. That will make six total, once he's all done. I think he's lost his mind, but he sees this as some sort of personal challenge/goal. Okay, so when he falls out, who's going to pick him up? He's too damn solid...and heavy.

Have to say that all the testosterone in the house has made me randier than usual. No complaints from hubby, of course. Also, with my new eating habits I've learned that I substitute food and alcohol for the "good stuff". Better to have the "good stuff" than to put those 30 pounds back on.

We're thinking of our vacation plans and reconsidering our trip to California. We were going to drive part way, stay in Vegas a day or so, then continue driving to Southern Cal. Now, we're thinking we should go ahead and put those passports to use. I'm totally game! Point me to the big boat with the swimming pool. If everything goes well with the second part of my eating plan, I may dive in and get a two piece. Wow! Never thought I'd say that.

I made a faux baked potato dish for lunch and it was divine! Who knew cauliflower could be so good. I suppose when anything's drowned in cheese, it's bound to be good. I've made new and unique dishes four times over the past two weeks. It's been quite the adventure.

Work Politics and Other Stuff

2010-04-21T10:28:00.005-06:00

So much drama happening in my office right now. I don't want to convey too many details just yet, but let's just say the environment is making it easier to leave in Mid-May. Why can't people who are fortunate enough to have jobs have a strong work ethic? Why not buy two, three or four alarm clocks if you can't wake up for work? Where in the recession-hell is a lunch paid for by a company these days?

Hubby has another show on the 30th and wants the family to go. I would love to, but we're not sure if he can change his hotel plans. Also, I can't remember if the Babe has her last competition that day or not. Crazy that each of their competitions have been on the same day.

I've been living through my family, as of late. There's nothing really going on with me aside from the weight loss. I'll be moving through the next couple of phases and, hopefully, regain my former body back. Right now, I'm about six pounds less than I was when I got married 12 years ago. In a couple of weeks, I'm going to start adding my weight training back in (slowly) and tone up. That's the only aspect missing on my new physique. Happy hump day!

50 Random Questions

2010-04-14T13:49:00.003-06:00

Haven't done one of these in a long, long while. Pass it on!

1. Where were you three hours ago?

Here, working.

2. Who are you in love with?

My hubby

3. Have you ever eaten a crayon?

Probably

4. Is there anything pink within ten feet of you?

Yes. A picture frame made at Indy's daycare with a picture of Indy in the center.

5. When is the last time you went to the mall?

Last week.

6. Are you wearing socks right now?

Nope

7. Do you have a car worth over 2k?

Yep.

8. When was the last time you drove out of town?

Last Friday

9. Have you been to the movies in the last five days?

No.

10. Are you hot?

Do you mean "hot like fire"? or Is my temperature warm? Yes to the first, no to the second. ;)

11. What are you wearing right now?

a birthday outfit my sister bought me a couple of years ago.

12. Do you wash your car or let the car wash do it?

Depends on how I'm feeling that day (and how dirty my car is)

13. What was the last thing you had to drink?

Water

14. Last food that you ate?

Miso soup

15. Where were you last week at this time?

Well, right here, of course.

16. Have you bought any clothing items in the last week?

Shoes for my girls (sandals, to be exact).

17. When is the last time you ran?

Over the weekend, but not far.

18. What was the last sporting event you watched?

Figure pair skating on tv

19. What is your favorite animal?

Dog

20. Your dream vacation?

An all expenses paid cruise/European excursion for like 3 months (with built in babysitting)

21. Last person's house you were in?

My own

22. Worst injury you've ever had?

I was bit by a dog in the face. Fourteen stitches. You'd never know, today.

23. Have you been in love?

Yes, and still am.

24. Do you miss anyone right now?

My grandmother

25. Last play you saw?

Dial "M" for Murder

26. What is your secret weapon to lure in the opposite sex?

My charm

27. What are your plans for tonight?

It's Mom-taxi time. Taking the Babe to dance.

28. Who is the last person you sent an email message to?

Co worker

29. Next trip you are going to take?

Hopefully, a postponed romantic rendezvous with hubby somewhere.

30. Ever go to camp?

Nope. The outdoors has bugs.

31. Where you an honor roll student in school?

Why, yes I was.

32. What do you want to know about the future?

If my children will grow up happy and safe

33. Are you wearing any perfume or cologne?

I'm wearing Black Amethyst body spray from Bath and Body Works.

34. Are you due sometime this year for a doctor's visit?

Yes, that reminds me...

35. Where is your best friend?

At work in Nashville

37. How is your best friend?

Very, very unhappy with her current situation.

38. Do you have a tan?

Uh, not currently but I stay pretty brown through out the year. lol!

39. What are you listening to right now?

The sound of my typing

40. Who is the biggest gossiper you know?

My sister

41. Last time you got stopped by a cop or pulled over?

It's been years, but a cop came to help me when I had an accident, last year.

42. Have you ever drank your soda through a straw?

Yep

43. What does your last text message say?

"Thanks. :) I survived but, boy was it painful."

44. Do you like hot sauce?

Yep! Franks!

45. Last time you took a shower?

Last night

46. Do you need to do laundry?

Took care of two loads before work. Today is laundry day at my house.

47. Are you someone's best friend?

Yep!

48. Are you rich?

In so many ways, I am.

49. What is your heritage?

African, German, East Indian, Irish

50. What were you doing at 12AM last night?

Sleeping peacefully

I'm Married to Mister Utah 2010

2010-04-12T12:42:00.003-06:00

I hate that I missed it! Hubby took his weight class and overall! I'm so proud of him! Thankfully, my sister and mother were there to cheer him on. Well, a slew of his friends were there to cheer. His sister came too, in fact, and brought along our niece and nephew. It's wonderful that he did so well, but haters prevail. He said he could hear people in the back talking about him, insisting that he must be on something. He was a light-weight contender and looked much heavier than he was because of his muscle mass. So what! Genetics rock! Besides, they make all the competitors take all sorts of tests before they can compete in a natural show to prove this very thing.

My daughters and I were down south in 80 degree weather just basking in all that gorgeous sunshine and red rock. I was so happy to be in shorts again. Unfortunately, the Babe became ill and I had to get creative with medications, so that she could compete in her show. She did so well, but the group after them (high schoolers, at least) were their competition. What the heck? Not again. You can't pit that kind of skill against 9 year-olds. No fair! We'll find out Wednesday how they ranked. This really makes me not want her to compete next year.

The snow has melted away and the rain is coming. When I drove home, yesterday, the sun disappeared and was replaced by overcasting clouds. The more north I drove, the cloudier it became. How sad. I was happy to see my hubby again. I missed him so much...even more so because I was without him during my anniversary. I really, really hated that. The plan is to get away together, once he's done with all this competing. It can't happen fast enough.

I'm very happy about reverting back to my old schedule, next week. Last month, I spent so much on gas and extra babysitting that I thought I would just break down and cry. Hubby insisted that I calm down about it because this is just what we had to do. Rational, my man. I calmed but I still wished for that money to magically reappear in my purse...especially with hospital bills arriving soon. Tax rebate? Do you hear me? Time to make an appearance.

Hoping to See Spring Again

2010-04-07T07:31:00.003-06:00

We received over five inches of snow the night before last. As such, I decided to work from home, yesterday. No way was I going to risk my life in even more impending snow. It was slow, but a fairly good day. It's spring break and both my kids were home making me a little nutty. It's hard because they can't go outside and play, which would alleviate some of the extra energy they have. I'm praying the temps warm up enough over the next couple of days where they can get out and go to the park.

Friday, we're driving south for the Babe's dance competition. She's to compete with other groups across the state. I hope her expectations aren't too high. Last year, they placed platinum for their category. I think they look great when they perform but, of course, I'm incredibly bias.

The drive is approximately 4.5 hours (but a bit faster, since part of the drive allows for super speeds). The temperatures are usually 30 to 40 degrees warmer than they are here. So, even if the temps remain a little chilly, we're headed to nearly summer like weather. Bring on the swimming pools!

The sad part is that we will be traveling on my wedding anniversary. This is the first anniversary that my hubby and I will be apart. We are not happy about this in the least, but I'm sure we'll be rewarded with trophies from both ends (hubby and the Babe's). This weekend, hubby will be in an all natural show. I can't imagine that he won't place, after going up against "roided" up guys the past couple of shows. I'm so very, very proud of him.

Today is my mother's birthday and I asked her to tell me what she wants. In the past, I would have thought this tacky but, she's nearly at retirement age and pretty much buys whatever she wants. I felt it best to just ask. Know what she said? "Bananas. I want bananas." I told her to think about it a little more and call me back with a real answer. (P.S. I'll still get her the bananas, though).

Post-Surgery and Easter

2010-04-05T11:16:00.003-06:00

Friday was surgery day. We were scheduled to be there at 8:15 (early, but not unreasonable). We arrived at approximately 8:00am and my mother was waiting for us in the waiting room. I inputted Indy's name into the computer, which programmed my beeper, then sat to wait to be called.

After about five minutes, the beeper went off and I went to the admin station to sign lots of papers and get tagged. She told me to take the beeper back with me because it would go off again when it was time to see the nurse. Within five minutes of returning to the waiting area, the pastor of our church arrived. It seems someone didn't pass along the message of what time we would be there. He'd been there since 6:00am. Yikes! What a guy. He talked with my mother and I for a few minutes, then little Indy. He had her hold her neck up so he could see her cyst and get an idea of what we were dealing with. Five minutes after that, the beeper went off again. I was glad things were moving along nicely.

The nurse weighed her, took her height then showed us to an examination room. There, she took her temperature and blood pressure. She also left out jammies for Indy to put on (and some warm socks). The next nurse came in and gave us information about the surgery start time (9:45am) and pain management. She said she just wasn't sure what to expect for her since everyone is so different. She then showed us to the pre-op waiting room (more like a playroom).

There were all manner of toys for her to play with; dolls, kitchen sets, trains, blocks and more. She was having a grand old time. Then, an hour lapsed and we were way past surgery time. My mother inquired with the nurses station and it seems the doctor was behind on the surgery before hers. She was beginning to ask for food, poor thing. What child wouldn't, who is accustomed to having regular breakfast every morning. Finally, finally (at around 10:45am) the nurse came out to introduce herself. A few minutes later, the doctor came out to apologize for his lateness and assure us we were going back in just a few minutes. Lastly, the anesthesiologist came out and introduced herself. She also asked us if we had any questions.

We walked back to the surgery doors with Indy and said, "See you later," as she went through (the education classes said to say this, rather than goodbye as it can prove too traumatic for both the child and parents). My mom and I then headed to the next waiting room to receive status updates on Indy's surgery. While we waited, I wandered down to the cafeteria to see if there was anything I could eat from there. No dice. My mother went and came back with a tuna melt. It smelled divine. Have to remember to make those at home.

Indy's surgery was successful and fast! The nurse initially told us 1.5 hours to complete the surgery, but they were done in 45 minutes. Hooray! The doctor came back and confirmed that the cyst was a Dermoid cyst, but that they would send it to the lab for testing. He also said he didn't see any cancer or cancerous cells. Good! Lastly, he indicated that she would not need to stay overnight and could go home with me. That was the icing on the cake. My mother and I went back to see her in post op and, although a bit loopy, she was in good spirits. She drank them out of apple juice and slushies.

Saturday, we had Easter practice again and she was totally up for it. She ran through her speech twice, then participated in the Easter egg hunt. When we got home, she died eggs with her sister. Later, we ran errands then came home to watch movies and eat.

Sunday, my stupid clock sprang forward (it still has the chip and I bought it before all the changes were made a couple of years back). It was fine, since I wanted to try something new with my hair. It totally didn't work, so I rinsed it and brought back my curls. The girls looked beautiful, my hubby was handsome, and I was working it in a David Meister yellow dress (size 8, thank you).

We came home, watched the Prince of Egypt and passed out on the couch. Later, we went to Wally world and shopped since everything else was closed (we missed our Target, yesterday). I had lots of yummy new goodies from my plan but they were loaded with salt. I'll know better today. TOM is a monster, when it comes to salt (and it's way).

Overall a positive and happy weekend. Thanks to you all who reached out with your concern and prayers. You'll never know how much those mean to me. Hope you all had a happy and joyous Passover and Easter.

Surgery Day Approaches

2010-04-01T13:35:00.003-06:00

We're trying to wrap our heads around this thing, my family and I. Today, we'll be journeying up to the hospital for our pre-surgery education class. My eldest is looking forward to it, but Indy still has no idea. I'm not sure I know how to explain it to her, but I'll try. She has a right to know what's going to happen, even if she doesn't fully understand the ramifications.

I received a call from one of the hospital administrators this morning who performed the standard health questionnaire. I'm glad that Indy is so healthy. It made answering the questions very, very simple. At the end of the call, she mentioned that the doctor reserved a bed for her over night. I understood this to be an out-patient surgery. She said that it is, but that he has the bed for her in case they decide to do an overnight observation...seeing as it's her throat and all. They want to make sure there's no swelling. Poor little thing!

I made arrangements for my mother to keep my eldest, since my hubby has to work on Saturday. I left a message for him about the new information I received. I wonder if he'll call in or something? I guess I'll find out this afternoon. It's been four years since I stayed in a hospital over night. Ironically, it was due to Indy's birth. I'll never forget those last two days with her there. The nurse would bring her in and I would lay her in the crook of my arm and both of us would pass out. It wasn't exactly safe, but we sure made good napping buddies.

Finally, it's Easter weekend and I'm thinking that a movie and dyed eggs on Saturday will perk up spirits around the house (if spirits are up to it). My insane move was to do Indy's hair tonight, but I think it will be less-than-fresh by Sunday. I suppose that I can, at least, get it washed and straightened. Then the hard stuff is out of the way. We'll see how the day lays out. It's definitely going to be a long one.

It's About Timing

2010-03-30T07:09:00.003-06:00

So, as I mentioned on the other site, my hubby is all ripped up and beautiful (not that he wasn't beautiful before). Now, it's so intoxicating! Everything stands out and all I want to do is touch him. It's like I'm PMSing and he's a big ole bar of chocolate! I've been extra flirty with him and sometimes he welcomes it, other times he seems annoyed.

We were in the grocery store last night and, while we were talking about a special tea I want that he's recently purchased, I was sort of messing around with his shirt. No one else was in the aisle, so it wasn't about being embarrassed. When he stopped me, I asked him what his deal was and he said, "Because If you're talking to me and doing that I can't focus." Of course, he was in jest and so was I when I said, "Well, that's your problem." We laughed about it, but when I got home, I was annoyed. How odd! Looking back now, I had no reason to be, but I was. I suppose my heart took it as rejection.

We watched an episode of Arch.er last night (have you seen this? It's crazy!) then settled in for bed. Well, I settled in and turned over to go to sleep. He was still on his laptop looking up information about living in Vancouver. After awhile, the light was distracting and I asked him when he was going to be finished. He said soon. I covered my head to keep out the light and in a couple of minutes, he shut down his computer. I began to drift off as soon as he turned off the light on his nightstand.

After a couple more minutes, he started poking me with his toe...asking if I'd asked if he would be finished, so we could spend "time" together. I told him I asked him because, if he hadn't finished up I would have changed locations so I could sleep. I could tell he didn't want to hear that.

So, in the span of about four hours, I went from wanting to jump him to wanting him to just go to sleep and forget I exist. I think his feelings were the exact reverse. And the reason for my post on such randomness? To state the obvious: Men and women are just different. Different, I tell you! This morning, I was sleepy but ready and, of course, he had to go to work. Timing is everything.

My Hubby is Home!

2010-03-29T07:48:00.004-06:00

He got in around 9:00pm last night and seemed really happy to be home. I'd made sure to have some of his favorites available; lasagna, cheesy bread and an experimental cake I made. He said he'd wished he'd had the cake for pre-performance (the sugar helps with vascularity). He said the cheesecake he bought had nothing on my cake. I'll have to remember that.

He ate while I finished up watching True Blood (I'm re-watching the first season in anticipation of season 2 coming to DVD). After dinner, we talked about his adventures in Washington and he asked me what I did here, although not nearly as exciting, he seemed intrigued nonetheless. Of course, the ravaging began shortly after that (always good in my book).

I hadn't cooked so much in a long time. From making breakfast for the girls, to making a big dinner and a desert to go along with it. Everyone (including the girls) seemed very happy with the meal. Of course, due to my plan, I've been cooking a lot for myself but this was entirely different. I sort of missed it. Oh, and the smells! Candles and oils have got nothing on home cooking. My house still held the aromas this morning. Incredibly nice to wake up to.

Indy has her surgery this week and I received a card in the mail last week for pre-surgery classes. I called to register and in the midst of the recorded message was told that anyone under 14 couldn't attend because of H1N1 risks. Seriously? Are people still worried about it? My pre-teen is the one who needs this most and she's not going to be able to attend? I left a message, asking if she could wear a surgical mask or something. No response. I'll be stalking them again today. Somebody is going to tell me something, dammit.

My hubby has put my sister on a plan and she is struggling. I explained that most people are sugar/carb addicts and don't even realize it. There's refined sugar in practically everything these days. I'm surprised she didn't know this, but she really seemed shocked. Like any other addiction, she is going through withdrawals. I told her that she should be feeling a lot better in a few days. I hope she sticks with this.

Snowy, Snowy Friday

2010-03-26T12:37:00.003-06:00

It started early this morning and hasn't let up much. Thankfully, it's not sticking and warmer weather is on the horizon. Hubby is safely in Washington and arrived around 6ish last night (after leaving at 5:30am yesterday morning. Yikes!). He spoke to me of the beautiful drive and the lush greenery the Oregon coast has to offer. Neither of us has ever been to Oregon. I guess he's now got one state "up" on me.

He said that they drove past a tree farm and, initially, it appeared to him as mountain terrain but as they drove closer, they discovered that it was acres and acres of trees. How I wish I could have seen it for myself. I asked if he'd taken any pictures. Well, of course not. Ugh!

I thought I wouldn't sleep well last night, missing my hubby and all. Surprisingly, I slept better than I've slept in weeks! I gathered it was because I wasn't waiting up at all hours to talk to him. Also, instead of "teddy", I threw an extra blanket on the bed to mimic his warmth and presto! Instant, fabulous sleep. I woke up happy and light, but of course, I still miss him.

Yesterday, I organized the Babe's closet. She had an onslaught of plastic baby hangers, old clothes and randomness that I just had to get rid of. I wonder how long her closet will look the way it does now, all nice, neat and organized? She was ill, yesterday, so I worked from home and tended to her needs as best I could. Two Albuterol treatments and several ibuprofen later, she was raring to go for school this morning.

I can't believe Easter is nearly here! I suppose next week will be filled with doing hair and glamorizing my children. I don't know if I'll do pictures, but I'm considering it. I always take pictures of my own at the park. Beautiful spring photos of my girls prancing around with the ducks (wearing their Easter dresses) is sort of a tradition, now. Guess I won't be able to pull that off when they're teenagers.

I don't really have plans for the weekend, aside from taking the girls to Easter program practice at church. They haven't even looked at their speeches yet. Oh, well. I guess we'll go over them a couple of times tonight. Hopefully, they're short and sweet. Indy has never spoken in front of a large group before. I'm hoping she sees her big sister as a stellar example of how to do so.

Starting to Feel a Bit Sad

2010-03-23T06:45:00.004-06:00

It's nuts that I am. Hubby is still here, in the flesh and I'm already starting to miss him. He leaves Thursday for his trip to Vancouver. I told him last night that I was dreading it because I hate sleeping alone (after nearly 12 years, it's incredibly difficult for me). I might have to lug my big teddy bear from downstairs, just to have something to cuddle with. Isn't that ridiculous. He said that for him it's tough too because he won't be in the state and won't be able to just leave whenever he feels like it. He's driving up (fourteen hours, I think) with other people and will be at the mercy of their driving and their car. Nice.

Work is okay, but that is becoming a bit emotional too. We'll all be working away and then someone will say something like, "Yeah, we'll ask you while you're still here," or "When you go away, then what will we do?" Oh, the guilt! I know it's going to be crazy hard when I go home permanently. I like to socialize (always a social butterfly, my mother used to say) and I glean energy from people. One of the IT guys told me the same thing, yesterday. He insisted that I come back into the office at least once per quarter so that he could "suck positive energy away from me." He's a great guy and has always been so kind to me. He saved my personal computer once and did it solely out of the kindness of his heart. We've had many long chats in his office with other IT guys joining in for the laughs. Yeah, I'll miss that and them.

My boss, who has changed departments, keeps milling around our department. He's on the eighth floor now and we're on the seventh. I think there isn't much socializing up there and he misses that. Seems like he's on our floor a lot more than he really needs to be. I think he's lonely, poor guy. Wonder what he'll do when he has his own team to work with? I suppose my team will hardly ever see him.

Twenty-Ten is my year for change, I guess. So many things have happened already and it's just the third month of the year! I can only imagine what the rest of the year will bring. It's exciting, but also a bit scary. For now, I'm just along for the ride reacting and acting on things brought in front of me. The good thing is that this year is already world's better than last year. For that, I am very grateful.

And the Winner is...

2010-03-22T11:44:00.005-06:00

My hubby! He took his weight class for the Utah NPC TopForm Classic Bodybuilding show this past weekend. I was so proud of him! Earlier in the evening, I was cheering on our eldest at her dance competition. I don't have her scores yet but, they were working it out on the dance floor. I'm sure they did well.

My sister's all psyched up by my husband's win. He proved Saturday that you can be a natural bodybuilder and compete with those who use steroids. It is totally unnecessary to supplement your workout with those products. Again, I was beaming from ear to ear (if you want to see video, shoot me an email or leave a comment and I will send you the links). Sis feels like she wants to try getting into shape again. I hope she's serious about it. The benefits for her would be astounding.

His next show is this weekend in Vancouver. He's never been and is very excited about going...or at least, I thought he was. We went for a walk in the park on Sunday and he told me the next competition would be a bitter sweet event. He knows he'll have fun but he's going to miss me being there; an adventure we can't share together, as he put it. What a sentimental, sappy guy.

The babe performs on the 30th and competes again on the 2nd. It's going to be a busy spring for both of them. I'll be lugging video equipment from place to place, capturing all the moments. That part is fun and doing her make up is a blast (she had false eyelashes this time that she absolutely loved). I just wish someone else would pay for my gas. :)

Sleepless Nights and Crazy Dreams

2010-03-17T09:07:00.004-06:00

My TOM was late this week. It was supposed to show up Sunday but didn't show up until late last night. I knew it was going to be late, even before it was (the protocol I'm on states that this can happen). Anyway, we turned in rather late for us last night (around 11:30pm) and I was very tired.

My sleep was filled with dreams of animals...lots and lots of animals. It was a very surreal dream and I can't even describe that portion of it anymore (first thing this morning, I would have been able to recall). The other portion of the dream involved my best friend and a former friend of ours from college. The former friend and my bf had reconciled and for whatever reason, bf was having me take her to the lady's apartments for visits. I would be treated very poorly there, even to the point of having my purse rifled through and having my license stolen.

I decided not to go in, on the second drop-off, and turn heel right away. The former friend complained that I wasn't being protective enough of my bf to leave her there with her. If they had reconciled, why should I be worried about her safety? Weirdness, right? Well, the dream was full of drop-offs and pick-ups. I would take bf home to her apartment and her hubby, who did nothing but sleep all day. In real life, her hubby has no job, so this could be very true indeed.

I woke up around 2ish to whining and crying. My Chihuahua was very distressed about something. I went up front and let both dogs out. When they came in, the little dog drank a bit of water then went back into his crate. I guess he really had to go, but dang...2:00am is a little early for potty breaks. I slept fitfully, after that.

At around four, I woke up screaming in agony. I had caught the worse cramp in my calf that I've had in years. It was awful! I was yelling and tearing at the sheets. I 'm sure I smacked my hubby a few times through the fit. He was trying to calm me down, but I was in so much pain. Finally, it began to subside and he went to get me some apple cider vinegar (it counteracts the lactic acid that causes these suckers). He also gave me some potassium and vitamin C. On an empty stomach, however, those things did not sit well. I'm only now getting over the queasy feeling I had this morning.

So, I'm not running on a lot of rest today. I feel sort of loopy and out of it. I suppose if I'd had a fresh lager of green beer, I'd feel this way too (especially if I liked beer). Happy St. Patty's!

Time to Tell Part 2

2010-03-15T07:44:00.002-06:00

My boss asked for a meeting the next day, when I came in. It seemed as if I put my purse on my desk and he was ready to talk. I went into his office and had the most awkward conversation I can remember ever having. He offered up options and offered up that I may seek out other positions internally. He told me how hard it was for him to wear his manager hat and his friend hat. I completely understood his position, but I was pretty firm in my feelings.

When we finished speaking, we had a brief hug (trust me, we both needed it after that talk) then I headed over to another manager's office to talk to him about my prospects. We chatted for about 10 minutes and he convinced me that I would be great in his department (did I mention, they train in office then are full-time telecommuters?) I got the ball rolling right away. I spent part of the evening and the next morning, updating my very stale looking resume. It had been five years since I touched it. I thought about what was going on five years ago. I was getting very frustrated with work and then boom! I got pregnant with Indy. It's amazing how the "signs" manifest themselves.

Resume updated, references acquired and a pretty fantabulous cover letter letter, I had submitted everything through our system. I informed the manager that it was done. At the same time, our department manager was moved to a new area...the same man who told me I had to come in. It was totally unexpected and he was told over a weekend. So, after nearly ten years of being with the company himself, he was being moved. Drama!

So, here I am waiting around to hear if I'll have a new job and here he is with a new one, without even asking for it. It's definitely a good move for him and we're all sure he'll be very happy. I had to play it cool and I noticed everyone noticing I was playing it a little too cool.

The next week, I had my interview. Fifteen minutes later, I was informed that I would have a second interview by phone involving one of the team managers. The next week, sitting in my car, we had the best time in our phone interview. I was really getting a confidence boost. Everyone seemed to think I would do a good job (I, myself wasn't too sure).

The offer was made one week later and in mid-April, I will start my new job. It's so weird but good. I'm a bit nervous, but excited. So many thoughts, feelings and emotions rolling through me right now. I guess I've moved past my crossroad.

Time to Tell

2010-03-10T12:55:00.003-07:00

So, I've been really mysterious about the drama with my job and I haven't revealed all that has transpired here on the blog. I am ready for true confessions; however, I fear this may take a couple of posts so please, bear with me.

I've been with my company for a little over nine years. I know! It's really saying something for this day and age, where the average person changes jobs every five years. I have been, for the most part, content with my arrangements and happy with what I do. No job is perfect and I certainly have my days where I want to run through the halls screaming. Thankfully, I have yet to fulfill this fantasy. ;)

My team has been a group of four for years; the boss and the three peons, basically. We do our job, rant and rave, laugh a lot then go home. Several departments allow their employees a telecommuting option. I wrote up my proposal and successfully rallied to telecommute three days per week. It took a lot of work to get it approved, but I won out in the end.

The idea was to test it out and then make decisions on going full-time out of the office. This never happened because we changed "big" bosses and his ideas were very different from the previous boss. So, I was content to have my three days and I adjusted my family life to the new schedule. I was proud because I no longer had to live paycheck to paycheck and we could sock the former daycare money into savings. Indy still goes two days a week, but what a difference that makes!

In early February, I finished my day at work (I think it was a Monday) and then received a call from my boss. He was calling to tell me that, by March 1st, I would need to come back into the office full-time. I was devastated. I fell apart just as soon as the call ended and called my hubby. I was adamant that I would not have the distance between my work and my girls ever again. An asthmatic child can't wait for her mother to drive thirty minutes to get to her. No way!

I began to fret about what I would do. Who would watch Indy on Mondays, Wednesdays and Fridays? How would I get the Babe to and from school? How would I pay for the monumental gas I would be faced with? What would I do if faced with a medical situation for my kids? A small still voice let me know what to do. Trust God. So, I did.

To be continued...

Oscar Fun and Other Miscellany

2010-03-08T11:21:00.004-07:00

The funniest skit between Alec Bal.dwin and Ste.ve Martin? The paranormal activity head slap. I was cracking up! I wish I could have done that to the real characters of the real movie. Alec and Steve did me proud.

I'm glad the academy is recognizing original work. With all the recycled, rehashed scripts I was beginning to wonder if they had anything original to pull from at all. The dresses are still amazing and mind-boggling. Do you really only wear your gown once? Is it donated after wards? Do you keep it in storage like a wedding dress?

I really dislike driving in everyday, but I'm listening to lots of old discs to past the time. I need to get out my Pimsleur Spanish discs and learn how to speak the language, properly. Since we're destined to be a two-language country sooner rather than later, I'd like to be able to understand it (if not speak it fluently).

I made some amazing steak the other day. Truly! It was beef stew steak I picked up from Target. Then, I added some "Jamaican Me Crazy" seasoning to it and browned it in my non-stick skillet. Oh my gosh! It was to die for! I'll be trying to rack up on the stuff, when I can find it. Hubby picked it up from some obscure store. Haven't checked yet to see if it's at the local spots.

I took my hair down over the weekend. In fact, my world was full of hair. I took down and redid the Babe's hair. Then, I put braids into Indy's hair (she's been au natural for about two weeks, now). I straightened mine and was blown away by the length. It's so soft, too. I don't remember it being this soft when it was chemically treated. Another bonus! I'm wearing one of my reliable ponies today to hide my two-tone color. I'm not quite ready to go blond, yet. Huh, but you know I will eventually. :)

Heavy , Wet Snow

2010-03-05T11:54:00.003-07:00

Most of the time, the snow around here is like sand. You could pretty much blow it off your driveway with your own breath. This morning? Oh, no. We got the "lake effect" stuff and it was heavy as hell! My body was aching after I shoveled our driveway and sidewalk. If felt like I was lifting sand bags.

The drive wasn't too terrible, but I kept thinking about that lovely weather we just experienced. I suppose everyone will get sick, now. Ugh! Spring, I'm ready now please.; placing my order for lovely flowers, beautiful blue skies and full on sun. Hubby and I are considering moving again...much more seriously. We're both done with winters and snow and shoveling. For some reason, I can't seem to have snow on Christmas eve and Christmas day only. Yeesh! Is that so much to ask for?

This would be our home through retirement (the one hubby is constantly looking for). It's certainly becoming more and more appealing. How old am I again? Well, it never hurts to plan ahead. ;)

Oh, Hints of Spring

2010-03-03T07:50:00.004-07:00

I see you sneaking up on us. Fifty-seven degree weather on the way home, yesterday. It gave me so much hope. I'll be so grateful when the frigid temps and crazy snow have left this continent for a while (I see you East coast!). There are tulips and irises trying to peak through my yard. The other indication would have been the buds on my aspens, but hubby had those taken out last year. Ah, well. I still have this lovely, mild weather to enjoy.

I set up Indy's appointment for the specialist. The clinic is located at the local, University hospital. It just so happens that my mother works at the local University, so she has offered to come with us. Hubby is also off that day. Little Indy will have tons of support (and a pretty assertive grammy on her side). This will be towards the middle of the month (March 19th).

This whole thyroid thing has me wondering if her all-of-a-sudden flaky scalp is a side effect. I normally don't weigh my girls hair down in greases and oils but, lately I've had to with Indy. It's incredibly flaky and dry. We've shampooed with sulfur, which also helps, but I can't help wondering if her gland is really off. If so, perhaps whatever the doctor recommends will take care of that situation as well.

Thyroglossal Cyst

2010-02-26T19:37:00.003-07:00

This is what my baby has. My mother noticed a nodule in Indy's throat last Sunday and believe it to be a goiter. Both my mother and her mother had them, so she assumed Indy had inherited this issue as well. Today was Indy's "Well Kid Four-Year Old" visit, so I made sure to ask the doctor about it. He called it a cyst and said that her lymph node to the right was a bit swollen as well (he allowed me to feel both). We are being referred to an ear, nose and throat specialist and the children's hospital. They didn't get the referral, last I checked, so I'll try to make the appointment on Monday.

It was weird to hear and a bit scary, but my doctor believes that it is not cancerous and that she seems fine. I certainly hope so. I am anxious, however, to get into that specialist and hear what's going on with my baby. Where did this come from? When I wiki'd the topic, it stated that this issue usually appears in adults. What's the deal? I'll be saying my prayers (as always) for little Indy.

Other than that, she looks really good and she's (as I already knew) tall for her age. She's 42 pounds and 3 feet, five inches. What a kid. She was so well behaved, I treated her to a happy meal (which thrilled her to pieces).

The Babe went on a walking field trip today to the local high school. They were doing a presentation on days gone by (particularly the 80s'). She said that the best part was when the girls did their "valley speak". She and her friends mimicked them the rest of the day. I guess the teacher was loving that...

Rereading Bachman

2010-02-25T20:45:00.005-07:00

As a junior high and high schooler, I read a lot of Dean Koont.z and Stephen Kin.g. They adorned my nightstand for those years and even into college. Eventually, I grew bored of Stephen and Dean became a very predictable formula writer. College offered many, classical reading assignments so leisure reading was almost non-existent anyway. Every so often, I wonder what it would be like to read some of their newer offerings, then something comes up or some author craze surfaces and I forget to dig into my old favorites.

About a week ago, hubby and I were talking about how suggestion changed our opinions on certain foods. Because someone or something effected a food item, we no longer want or have the desire to eat whatever it is. I told him that I loved cherry pie as a child...until I read Thinner. Well, that's all it took. I have not eaten one, solitary slice since that novel. What was it, specifically, that made it so hard for me to even look at a slice anymore? I jumped on the library's online catalog and put a hold on the book. I had to know. (of course, we'll also rewatch the movie too...you know us). ;)

Once I got it, I realized I was holding a Richard Bachm.an book in my hand rather than a Ste.phen King (yes, I know. It's the same person). I'd forgotten he used a psuedo-name for a bit. Why would someone as talented and popular as he is use a false name? Of course, it wasn't long before people figured out who it was but, still. I think if I wrote as a profession and had that kind of celebrity, I'd never hide my writing. It's not like people are mobbing him at grocery stores. He can still have a pretty regular life.

Whatever his reason for it, the proof is certainly in the pudding. His writing style is like no other and I am quickly remembering why I was such a big fan in the first place. Perhaps the latest novel will adorn my nightstand after this one.

A Little Bit on My Work Situation

2010-02-24T20:57:00.003-07:00

My boss has been moved to a different department. He found out over the weekend, but we didn't hear about it until yesterday's "emergency meeting." Effective immediately, he will report to a completely different department and only "transition" items with us on a limited basis. He's very gracious and will, of course, make himself available to us with any questions we have but, wow. Nine years and now he gets the rug pulled out from under him. Guess he knows what I felt like, earlier last week.

I had meeting after meeting today. After all this time in the job force, I still think meetings are a complete waste of time.

"I can't get the things done you want me to get done because I'm sitting here meeting with you about them. My god, can't you send me an email or something? Let me know via smoke signals, and I'll get back to you."

The Freight Train Through February finally seems to be slowing down. I hope to have a grip on my life again my mid-March (yes, there's still stuff I'm not sharing...don't wanna jinx anything). My coworkers are stressed; one so much that I think she might leave, after only being here a few months. She's just not getting the support she should be getting from a separate, new employee. It's really too bad and, unfortunately, out of my control.

I'm sipping on my Alice White Lexia, reading blogs, writing in my own and contemplating my life. If this is the life of a real writer, I'll take it!

Can We Just Be Done with February, Please?

2010-02-22T15:19:00.003-07:00

Sort of getting my wish, since this is the last week of the month. Wow! I can't believe it, but I'm glad. It's been nuts and looks to get even crazier. Last week, we had our biannual faculty meeting. Over 700 people now working for my company. I remember when there were only 40 of us. Crazy! During my tenure at the meetings, I came down with what I thought was a cold. Thursday, I croaked my hellos to out-of-towners I haven't seen in months. I even gave and received big, bear hugs (I love bear hugs).

By Thursday night, I was feeling wiped out and not good. Friday morning, I put on my game face (and enough make-up to hide the truth) and went back to the hotel to prepare for my trainings. I was to host three training sessions in a row...each forty-five minutes long. I apologized to each group for the frog taking up residence in my throat. I croaked out details of our department and was glad to have my boss and co-worker there to translate all my croaking. I stayed till 3:00pm,. then left for the doctor's. I just couldn't hang anymore.

Diagnosis? Bronchitis....again. Dang it! I don't ever get colds anymore, just this blasted bronchitis. So, I'm on the Z-pack (which is oddly making me nauseated, this time), codeine for the cough, an inhaler to clear my lungs and an oral. I worked part of the day, then took cough syrup and a nap for the second half. I'm supposed to go into the office tomorrow and Wednesday. I hope I'll feel well enough to make it in. Big things are happening this week (I think).

I've also been preparing myself for my new plan. I think I'll start on Wednesday (I've been detoxing and tomorrow is the last day of detox). Best to start with a clean slate, right? I wonder if the detox and antibiotics are at odds? I hadn't thought about it, till just now. Hubby has been so supportive and I'll need to do some "healthy shopping" this week to get going. I will be eating "clean" again and, as of right now, there ain't a whole lot of "clean" foods in my house. The process will take about 6 weeks.

February Still Flying like a Jet-Plane

2010-02-16T10:18:00.003-07:00

I had the rug pulled out from under me, last week. I hope to go into more details in a couple of weeks about the entire situation; however, I will say that it will change everything about my work-life. The only consistency in life is change, right? All I can do is pray and put it into God's hands...otherwise, I'll loose my mind with stress and anxiety.

Aside from work, hubby and I had a lovely Valentine's weekend. We spent Friday as a family and bowled, bowled, bowled. Indy was tired even before the first game finished. Lesson learned- only one game if we're going as a family.

My sister kept my kids over night from Saturday into Sunday. Hubby and I went to see Wolf.man (wait for the red box if you must see it, although I wouldn't recommend it), then off to dinner at Lone St.ar. I had the sweet bourbon grilled Salmon (yum) and he had the steak. After which, we picked up a bottle of spirits to take back to our hotel room, along with a cheesecake from the bakery (double-yum). Next, we went by a club in the Hilton, but the vibe was a little strange. Then, we headed to another club. Me and hubby at the club. Wow. It's been years.

The crowd was twenty somethings and thirty somethings. The theme? Mardi gras. Boas, beads, face painting. It was a veritable circus with a disco ball, in there! Hubby and I danced, but people watched mostly. It was hilarious! I hope we never acted like that (something tells me we didn't). One lady walked up to me and said, "Hey, sexy," hugged me and then pounded. Huh? Who are you? I asked my hubby if it was someone he knew. He said no. Oh, man. Perhaps I looked like someone she knew? Oh, well.

Round midnight, we headed back to the hotel for drinks and cheesecake. It was a wonderful evening. We ate breakfast Sunday morning and watched Couples R.etreat at home. It was pretty cute, but I was more excited to just have time with hubby. Sis brought the girls home around 1:00pm and they were most pleased with their day, too.

It's been great having my sister watch the kids these past few weekends. Hubby thinks we're going to go into "dating" withdrawal. I think he's right.

Whoa, Nelly. Whoa!

2010-02-09T20:56:00.004-07:00

February is running hard and fast - straight forward at break-neck speeds with no brakes. I'm hanging on as tight as I can! Ever since the babe told me that a girl in her class had pneumonia last week, I've been holding my breath. Last night at the doctor's (where she informed me her saturation level was at 86 before the nebulizer), I was afraid we would be headed to the children's hospital. "By ambulance," she added. Thanks, doc. Thanks so much. Of course, she did tell me this after the albuterol treatment. The babe's saturation levels shot up to 97 which is above normal. Thank goodness!

Before this, I worked all day, picked up the babe from school, drove 20 miles to another town to get my oil changed at the dealership (coupon, you know...). On the way was when the babe announced that, not only had she coughed all day, but her chest was hurting. I called the doctor and they said they could get me in at 6:30pm that evening (did I mention the doctor's office is in Salt Lake)?

Oil change over sooner than expected, I called the doctor back and asked if I could get in earlier. No dice. Drove the 20 miles back home, fed the dogs and tried to get the babe to eat something. Meanwhile, Indy was bouncing off the walls (that's what happens when you don't have a nap) and was trying to get into everything. Forty minutes later, we're back in the car and headed into Salt Lake. Darkness falls. The skyline is so beautiful at night. I'd forgotten.

Head to the office and wait for only five minutes in the waiting room (but thirty minutes in the exam room). After the visit (it's now 8:00pm), I head home only to drop off the kids and head to the pharmacy for meds. There's a cop-car in the parking lot which has pulled over a sedan. The man is being talked to outside of his car. Not a good sign.

Walgreens 24-hour pharmacy was like the club Monday night. What the hell?! "Your prescription will be ready in 45 minutes to an hour." Thanks! Off to Barnes and Noble to browse and buy books (always fun). The cop-car now has a friend with "Paramedic" stamped on the side of this car. Uh, oh.

Barnes and Nobl.e offers a good "cure" book and a nice book for a 4th grader. The discount rack has a Michael Jackson tribute book with lots of pictures. I still can't believe he's gone. I just knew he'd be old, gray and wearing Kleenex boxes on his feet. Oh, well.

Back to Walgreens and now, three cop-cars. Sweet! Thirty more minutes to wait and the line is huge. A chatty guy tells me he just came from the emergency room and it's packed there, too. He waited two hours for the emergency doctor to tell him he had a double sinus infection. Yuck! What was up with illness and Monday?! I finally get the scrips and some candy (for stress). The suspect in the parking lot's car is being hella searched and there's crap all over the street, his car and the cop's car. Yeesh!

Home at last (about 10:30pm). I've called in and told the boss-man that I gotta play home-nurse tomorrow (today). So, that's what I've done. The Babe is world's better and is going to try school tomorrow. She's even going to try dance. We'll see...

So, what else is happening in only the first nine days of February? Life-changing stuff. Hubby and I have talked and I'm getting ready to "do something." Can't say what it is, yet. The Enchantress site is going to go through some changes to reflect what's coming, once I have time this week to get it ready. The stall on my weight loss is about to end (fingers, toes, eyes all crossed). Hubby will be helping and supporting, but not training me (not quite ready for him to do that again). I'll need to prepare myself mentally for that.

Oh, and the Babe's speech went marvelously! So many compliments! One gentleman said that she was more poised and well-spoken than some of our teenagers who are asked to speak. For real?! My mom even raved, and she's picky about everything! The services are recorded each Sunday, so mom picked up an extra DVD for me to keep. I can't wait to see my girl working the podium again.

Black History Month

2010-02-03T09:34:00.003-07:00

The Babe is slated to speak on a "prominent" figure this upcoming Sunday. Whom did she choose? Why, Ms. Judith Jamison (fabulous dancer extraordinaire and honorary Delta...OO-oop!). The babe has been enchanted with her, ever since I suggested Ms. Jamison as a possibility (she considered Diana Ross, among others, to begin with). A bit of reading and a few you.tubes later and she was hooked! She's actually viewing her as a role-model, which I love.

We still spend a lot of our church energy on Black History month, but I don't feel it anywhere else. Oh, the occasional mention on the news or a bit of artistry on some of the web sites but that's about it. It seemed to be much more important in my younger years or perhaps more emphasis was placed on the month. It could be that it's just because of where I live now. Well, yeah. That could definitely be it.

My girls are well aware of who they are and where they came from. They are exposed to as much diversity and culture as their parents can supply, but is that enough? I came from a world that was colorless, then was thrown into the "backwards" south. The divide was palpable and I never really felt like I fit in anywhere. By college, things were better but the frustration never really went away. Moving west helped tremendously. I don't think I'll ever live in the south again, but my roots are there and that is a part of me that will never go away.

I can't protect my girls from everything. One day, there differences from the general population here will be thrown at them and I want them to be strong enough in themselves to deal with it as well as feel pride in who they are. So far, there differences have been fairly positive. It probably doesn't hurt that they're cute.

The Things We Do for Our Kids

2010-01-28T08:42:00.004-07:00

I was talking to one of the girls from the Babe's dance studio, last night. The Babe was finishing up her class and Indy was using the potty. This girl is maybe 13 or 14 and her dad is "gym" friends with hubby. I remember her dad telling us that she stuck with dance and tumbling because she wants to participate in cheer-leading at school. It seems it's time for try-outs and she's unsure if she'll do it. Costumes and uniforms are $900 dollars for the year and each year the costumes change, but the fees still apply. What?! Seriously?! Is there that much need to do a costume change for cheer-leading now? I can understand competition dancing but cheer-leading? It made me think of the line from the first Brin.g it On movie:

Sparky (the choreographer) = "Cheer leaders are dancers who have gone retarded. What you do is a tiny, pathetic subset of dancing."

Truly this is the case, considering the costs. Yikes! I know it's the Babe's wish to cheer-lead in school too but, damn! She better have a job or something by the time she's ready. The girl I was talking to said that she's going to try and help raise the money. We talked about her dance obligations. She's one of those that dances in everything. She told me her grandfather was fussing at her for being at the studio for five hours on Mondays and three on Wednesdays. Man, now I know where her mother's money is going. It's no wonder her sister stopped dancing altogether.

I should say that this child is a wonderful dancer and really is gifted in that respect. I asked her if it was worth it and she said that she's really going to have to consider what means more to her. I reiterated to her that I thought was was a great dancer (hoping that she will choose dance over cheer-leading, since it may even lead to a career in the future, I'm thinking). Of course, there are professional cheerleaders in the world. I dunno. My opinion is that dance is an art so, why not get paid for promoting the arts?

I'm all for giving kids an opportunity to express themselves and I'm also willing to pay for some of those endeavors. I just think you have to consider all the logistics, too. The economy sucks and budgeting is a necessity. Dance or electricity? Soccer or heat? Little League or groceries?

Mid-Thirties, Baby

2010-01-26T12:18:00.003-07:00

Oh, what a terrific birthday! I had to work but, my sister picked up my eldest and came over to babysit both kids. Hubby and I took off and went to the movies. Check out Sherloc.k Holm.es if you haven't already. It was worth the watch for sure.

After the movie, we went to dinner and sat side-by-side at the restaurant(you can people watch and chat at the same time that way). I didn't gorge, but enjoyed myself. We headed over to DSW and hubby splurged on a pair of shoes for me. Woohoo! Their satin, multi-colored mules and they're divine. Next, he took me over to Ross and had me try on 5 pairs of jeans. We took two pair home; Nine West and Lee's.

We got home and found out the youngest was a little naughty and that sister dear disciplined a bit differently than I would have, but we got it all squared away. She'll be back this weekend to watch them over night. Dang! I could get used to this. Hubby and I told each other over and over again how much fun we had and how nice the evening was. He said he got a little flack from coworkers because he took a half-day vacation, but he said, "What better way to use vacation time than to spend it with my wife on her birthday?" What a guy.

Meeting with the Teacher and Age

2010-01-20T09:57:00.005-07:00

This morning, hubby and I had to meet with the Babe's teacher. It was a good meeting and I hope the Babe was listening to all of the good advice the teacher gave her. My Babe has a busy mouth and sometimes doesn't know when to close it. She's also incredibly hard-headed, which can cause her some strife in the classroom. We talked strategies for frustration and the incessant talking she does for about half an hour this morning. It's the first time in a long time I've talked to a teacher and not felt like we (the parents) were on trial. I hope it made a difference.

My cardio pace has increased substantially. It always does the stronger and more "aerobic" I become. I'm hoping hubby still wants to purchase the new treadmill. That will change things up and allow for more weight/fat loss for sure. You don't burn nearly as many calories in the amount of time like you do with an elliptical, but you work bones and the impact is greater. This allows for bigger changes in the workout. I'm also preparing myself mentally to tackle toning and weight training again. I always feel so good when it's part of my regular routine (and I look a lot like the participants in the videos...seriously! Everything is long and tight. The results are fantastic!), it's just getting there again. The soreness, the yelling at the instructors, the initial shock of how blubbery I am. That initial process of starting is tough, tough, tough.

The air is clean again. Yeah! We are getting regular snow and rain this week, which is pushing out the nasty inversion we've had for about a month. The skyline is visible again and the mountains are white and breath taking. I just love it! It was sort of my birthday wish to God, last week. "I want rain and 40 degree weather." Guess what we got? ;)

Speaking of birthdays, my 35th approaches. Next Monday, I will officially be smack in the middle of my thirties. I've been more nostalgic with this birthday than with any of my birthdays past, making play-lists of the top 100 songs of various years to kind of usher it in. It's been fun and a little weird, too. My eldest knows some of the songs because they still play many of them on the radio. She sings along some times, other times she says, "Is that a man or woman singing?" Lots of androgynous singing in the 80's, I guess. She's lucky she didn't have to endure the visual pain of the fashion. I remember my neon-pink socks I wore with everything. Stirrup pants, psychedelic colors that matched nothing and sent folks into seizures. Yikes!

What Some Children Think About

2010-01-15T08:09:00.003-07:00

When I was nine, I was worried about what kind of games to play at school, my upcoming dance recitals, the next birthday party to go to and when summer vacation would finally start. I can honestly say my worries weren't too heavy. As I approached ten, my thought process began to change. I started to think about the nature of my parent's marriage in a more mature way. I understood that their "partnership" really wasn't much of one. Talk began of moving out of state and leaving my beloved California scared me witless. Would I make new friends, if we moved? What would the children be like in Tennessee? Would they like me? Would I ever see my Californian friends again?

I remember the change happening, but it was subtle. There were still so many parts of me that were kid-like, but I did feel differently than I had before. I believe this very thing is beginning to happen with my oldest. She still has "child" talk, but now it's beginning to change into more serious subject matter.

This morning, for example. She told me that at school, yesterday, she caught site of her cousin coming onto school grounds, but she didn't seem very happy. She asked her what was wrong and her cousin told her that a fight had broken out the night before between herself and the neighbor kid (not sure if it was a physical fight or an argument). My sister-in-law heard the ruckus, came outside and broke it up. In the midst of resolving the conflict, she experienced some sort of pain in her head and ended up in the emergency room. Cousin told the babe that the pain/ailment was in the back of her head, but the doctor said that if it reached the front, her mother could die.

The babe, always being so sensitive, was even more so to hear of her aunt's terrible predicament. The babe asked where cousin would live, should her mother pass away (their father is currently in jail and has been for nearly two years). Cousin indicated that they would have to go back to Missouri to extended relatives (these are blood relatives). She was afraid to go back there because she didn't want to be abused.

Oh.My.God.

It took me a minute to gain my composure and think rationally. We knew of the problems the kids had experienced, before they moved here. They were very, very young (around 2 or three). They had been staying with their father's relatives (a sister, I think, and other cousins) while he "figured out his life" or some stuff. I dunno. After he and my sister got married, he made arrangements for custody to be restored and moved them here.

Obviously, those painful memories haven't left them. I rationalized with the babe and explained that her aunt has always gotten terrible migraines and that she's ended up in the emergency room lots of times as a result. She's on prescription medication and has to manage her stress a certain way, or those headaches appear and pretty much knock her down.

She told me that her aunt was out of the hospital that very day, so I told her to think positively. That her aunt will, hopefully, take better care of herself and not die. That she'll be around to take care of her cousins for a very, very long time...that all will be well and that they'll get to stay in Utah and be safe. Safety. That's what concerns these children.

I called hubby and asked if he'd heard about his sister being in the hospital. I also told him of the concerns the babe and her cousin were having. They have been through so much (I can't even get into all of it here) and had to grow up so fast, it would just be one more blow to their already fragile psyches. I'm glad they're in counseling and I hope that they are being honest and expressing everything in those sessions.

A Musical Gift for the Decade Part 2

2010-01-13T06:39:00.004-07:00

Here is the video (I hope). I could not embed the code from the site in the original post.

A Musical Gift for the Decade

2010-01-13T06:32:00.004-07:00

I was so delighted when I received this video in my inbox, yesterday. Another ten years, Sade? Really? I suppose quality work and art takes time but a decade between each new album from someone like her is like cruel and unusual punishment. I've already told hubby that if she decides to tour with this album, we'll have to find a way to go (with Lover's Rock, she hit Vegas as a venue close to us). Another ten years and she'll definitely sound different. Along with other factors, age changes your singing voice the most.

She's still stunning and in fabulous shape. It should make me green with envy, but I'm actually just admirably impressed. I think her lifestyle keeps her so vibrant. We should all take a lesson. Enjoy!

Real Estate Venture...maybe

2010-01-12T14:07:00.003-07:00

My hubby wants to buy a house or, rather an additional house...as in, a second house with a second mortgage and it's making my head spin just typing this. The buyer's market "fever" has him and he's hankering to cash in while things are good. The way to do this would involve more work on his part and more hours away. This does not make me happy; however, he wants to have a retirement home ready and waiting when our time comes. Basically, the means justifying the ends. I guess so. I just keep thinking, if he works himself into an early grave, what do I care about a retirement home that I can't share with him?

He called me today to reiterate his goal with me, claiming that he'll have this done by next year. He will pick up more clients and possibly go back to graveyard shifts, if necessary. How did all this start? Where did he get this idea? Why, House Hunters, of course! Okay, not just House Hunters. How about House Hunters, My First Place, Property Virgins, Bang for your Buck, etc.... We watch these shows like they're going out of style! We talk about which homes we like and what we like about them. We've discussed what we'd do differently, if we were to sell our current home and buy a new one. The prospect of building, updating what we currently have (my kitchen...please, God, my kitchen) and increasing the value over all.

As we watch, he'll get on the web and search the current housing market of the area we're watching. I can't tell you how many Texas homes I've seen in the past few weeks! Yep! Everything is definitely bigger in Texas. We figure, for what we'd get for our house here, we could by something spectacular there (I'm talking 3000+ square feet, formal dining, cathedral ceilings, loft space, ginormous bedrooms, wrap around porches, patios, a swimming pool all on a 1+ acre of land. Even still, I really don't want to move to Texas. Currently, he's exploring the Henderson, Nevada market but we're still considering St. George.

I'm on the fence about it all. Wonder if his buyer's fever is here to stay? He will do that sometimes; get all riled up and excited about something, then the drive peters away. I can't tell if that will be the case this time or not. Will we still be talking about an additional home in three months? I guess time will tell...

Birthdays and Hair

2010-01-11T09:25:00.004-07:00

Indy had a small, family birthday party on Friday. She received more dolls, toys and clothes. The kid has really racked up this winter! For dinner, we did something a little different. Instead of the typical pizza pick-up or hamburgers and hot dogs, I made spaghetti and meat sauce (one of her favorites). I backed up the meat sauce with an alternative; garlic and herb sauce. We also had garlic bread and a variety of drinks to choose from. So, five adults and four children were very pleased and all went back from seconds. Who knew one of my standard meals would do so well! My sister-in-law was eating and didn't even question the green items that tasted so good (uh, green peppers? Vegetables? She should probably eat more of those).

After cake and presents, we all sat around chatting while the kids played. It really was a nice evening. Everyone was dog tired from working, but still managed to have a good time. It reminded me of why I like to entertain. I can't wait to redo my kitchen (coming up this year, I hope). We plan to install hard wood floors throughout the top floor of my home, save the bedrooms and bathrooms along with granite counter-tops and refinished cabinets. Huge, huge jobs, but it will be so worth it.

The next morning (Saturday, bright and early) my sister-in-law returned so that I could do her hair. I offered, but also put out the disclaimer that I am no professional. She didn't seem to care and was happy to spend the $50+ dollars on the type of hair that I wear (in black). I think she just didn't want to have to deal with it anymore (she's a hospice nurse).

It's probably a good thing she did this, too because as I was braiding, I noticed quite a bit of damage...especially her ends. It's evident that over processing, stress, and breakage from sleeping on cotton pillows are all culprits. Interestingly, we watched a video of me in a step show and my hair was very bouncy and healthy. She commented on it several times. I remember, during that time, I was only using "sodium" based perms, rather than calcium hydroxide. I also slept on a satin pillow case and, when that wasn't available, a satin cap. I made sure to only use light hair moisturizers rather than flat-out grease. I received trims regularly and visited my salon on a regular basis (rather than doing my own retouches). All of this extra maintenance kept my hair in good shape. It was also incredibly expensive. Makes me appreciate even more that I'm natural and don't have to go through all that drama anymore.

Her hair will certainly grow out with braiding, but it will endure a different kind of stress. I'm not sure what her plans are for the future. I don't even know if a "hair lesson" is really what she wants, anyway. People generally do what they've done forever, because that's what they understand and feel works for them. Opening their minds to knew ideas can be tricky for some. I think that would be the case for her.

Although I'm selfish of my time but I wonder about doing this for a bit of extra money. I'm okay, but not professional (I would make that clear in my ads). I wonder how busy it would make me? I've also thought about maybe giving a little "workshop" if nothing else (there are so many black children adopted by parents of different races that struggle with their hair...there are websites galore devoted to supporting them). That would certainly be an "in". I'll think about it more.

I've lost four pounds, but I'm not drinking enough water and I'm still eating out too much. I'll keep trucking, though.

A New Perspective

2010-01-07T08:38:00.003-07:00

As I approach my thirty-fifth birthday (seriously?!), I've started to think about my life; front and back. Nostalgically, I've thought about where I was ten, twenty even thirty years ago. The recitals from childhood, the boys I liked in junior and senior high school, friendships I made and lost in college. Frustrations and anger I felt over things I thought were so important, that now seem so trivial. As a married woman with children, I look at how everything effects myself, my children and my husband. All of my decisions, for the rest of my life, will involve myself and my family.

Hubby and I watched the following last night and I gained so much from the program. I guess it's a new series for PBS. Anyway, it falls right in line with what I'm thinking about these days. What makes me happy? Would I be happy with more material things or do I just think I would be? Considering my happiest moments, what do they all have in common? There were some remarkable people featured during this episode. One, whose story actually made me cry, gave me the most to think about. In all the crappy, bad, horrible things that have happened in my life...if I could erase/wipe away those moments as if they never existed, would I? The answer, of course, is no. Absolutely not. I would not be the person I am today, if not for all of my experiences (good or bad). It was a sobering thought.

The path of life is definitely looking shorter and shorter as I age. I certainly echo the thoughts of some of the older individuals. Having time with my family means so much more.

Twenty-Ten...For Real?

2010-01-04T13:29:00.003-07:00

I'm just having the craziest time excepting the year. Wow! Have we already experienced a full decade in the 21st century? Didn't we just deal with Y2K and all the drama associated with it? Crazy! Anyway, I'm looking forward to good things this year. More hope, more love, more blessings from above.

First off, it's time to get off the holiday weight. I'm singing to the tune of 10 additional pounds over a two month period. Yikes! The work has already begun and I am paying the piper. Things well get better...remember, hope in twenty-ten.

The girls cleaned up this holiday season. Dolls, clothes, a remote-control car, an X-Box 360 Elite, tons of games and underwear. They have no complaints (and neither do I, for that matter). Indy's birthday is next Sunday and she'll rake in more goodies. Dang, to be a kid again! We'll have a family party on Friday for her, including dinner and cake. Mom is probably going to forgo the cake for a Smart Ones desert or something.

Hubby wanted to take me away for New Year's. He planned way ahead and had my mother slated to watch the girls. Who knew she and my sister would get sick and be unable to care for them. Blah! No getaway with hubby, but we still brought in the new year with peace. I couldn't have asked for more.

The week has begun and getting back into the swing of things is weird, but I'll be okay.

Working During My Vacation

2009-12-21T13:25:00.002-07:00

Yeah. That's the title and that's what's going on and it really, really sucks. I was supposed to be off from this past Friday to the first Monday in January. I made all sorts of plans and thought of activities to do with the children. These have all been put aside so that I can make some stupid-ass deadline that has nothing to do with me. Nice.

Friday was awful. I mean, it was probably the worst day of work I've ever had. I got up planning to help out with some items (4:45am was when I logged on). After several phone calls and major blow-ups, I logged off at 11:02 am (oh, did I mention? I had to be at the Babe's school at 11:00am to help with their Christmas party?). I left, scrambling to get Indy into the car with coat and supplies. We manned the party for about an hour, then left to do some major grocery shopping. The shopping left me tired and needing additional supplies from a separate store.

Indy and I hit up Mickey D's and ate lunch in the car, waiting for the babe to get out of school. Then, it was on to the next store for more groceries. Upon my return home, I put all the bags of groceries on the counters and then. Ring! Ring! Work.

I worked from 3:00pm till damn near 6:00pm. I was so tired! The girls were running around trying to kill each other, I had frozen pizzas defrosting on my counter and the phone just wouldn't stop.

I'll be working for the next three days of my vacation off and on. I am so not happy.

(More to come later...gotta work).

My Girls

2009-11-24T14:37:00.003-07:00

My eldest is going to get the "big head" (if she hasn't already). We were eating out Sunday and several people came up to tell her how beautiful she was. I've mentioned on here before that she is a striking child and people have done this her entire life. In fact, now she just sort of expects it. We get it where ever we go, no matter where we go.

If they're not telling her how beautiful she is, they're complimenting both my girls on their manners and how well they behave. Not complaining and I know lots of kids were hooligans, but have things really gotten that out of hand with child discipline? Some times I'm pleasantly surprised at how well some children act, while others need to have their parents taken out and beaten (Yes...I totally blame the parents). Still, I think most kids are pretty good. I guess I'm just always so shocked at how people react to my girls, in particular.

Back to my eldest. She was going on and on about how people are always talking about her hair (currently past her waist, but that'll change this weekend), her smile or her skin. She loves the attention, but when people actually come up to her, she's pretty humble and sweet about it all. I suppose that's good. Don't want her tooting her own horn, I guess;

"Yes! I know I'm fabulous. Love me! Adore me! Worship me!"

I think I'd melt away into nothing if she ever did that. My biggest concern for her is that she recognize her inner beauty. Her strength, her sensitivity and curiosity are what make up so much of who she is and I don't want her to lose sight of those attributes. We discuss it often and I remind her that her looks may some day fade, but her mind will be hers for the rest of her life. She should nurture it as much as possible.

Her sister seems to be more of the intellectual, if you can call a three year-old an intellectual. She'll be a big reader like her big sister I think, but I also feel like she'll be more focused on school and more concerned about it at a much earlier age. The Babe is just coming into this now, and she's almost been around a decade.

Two-Day Work Week

2009-11-23T13:39:00.002-07:00

Life's sweet treats! Even better when you go an entire week without working. Oh, good times await (I hope).

This year, I've been asked to bake the Costco Caramel Cake for Thanksgiving. There are lots of reviews online from various people who've tried it. I hope it's as good as everyone says. It was my mother's idea for me to try it. Normally, I bake my rum cake or my apple crumble. This may turn out to be a staple for future pot-lucks, if it's as tasty as I think it will be.

We got snow yesterday! After leaving the theater (New Moon, for my oldest), the car was covered in the white stuff. The streets were a bit slushy, but I just took my time and drove the three minutes home. Little danger, thankfully. I did hear there were many accidents on the highway.

"Just keep the white stuff away until we don't have to drive in it, please."

Hubby was off today, so we had lunch together. Nothing special. Just lounging on the couch with our respective choices from the fridge. We giggled at "Living Sing.le" episodes on the tele and talked about the errands he has to run. This got me thinking about the other items I need to pick up for my girls and hubby for Christmas. It gets tricky when you always have a kid with you (and Santa is still a strong presence in our family). Dad may have to put in some babysitting time.

I found out recently that a divorce has occurred with the family down the street. We noticed we hadn't seen the dad's truck in a while. Then, hubby and I had our cable installed. Hubby asked the contractor if he knew our neighbor. "Oh, yeah. He moved to Wyoming." Wyoming? Turns out he got a job there and has pulled up stakes. The contractor said that he and his wife separated, but after hubby talked with the neighbor and the subject came up, the marriage is officially done. It's sad to hear, but I'm hoping that everything is for the best. They have two, very active boys and I really hope mom is able to take care of everything they have going on. They participate in every known sport. I hope she can carpool with the taxi duties.

Life Goes On

2009-11-18T11:52:00.003-07:00

I received such an outpouring of love and understanding during my bereavement. I guess it's certainly one way to know who really cares about you. Even my new manager gave me a hug. How sweet! We haven't even known each other a month, yet. I was touched.

I took the youngest (Indy) to see the princesses and wouldn't you know? Front seats, baby. She was so overwhelmed by everything, she didn't say much at first. Soon, princesses and all matter of characters were gliding past and waving to her. I'll have to remember the seat and row for the next time we go to this venue for a show. It was pricey, but certainly worth it. I didn't bring the camera because I had no idea where the seats were, but I brought the binoculars. Didn't need those at all!

My mother calls every few days with a count down to Thanksgiving. It's really cute. She's asked me to try a new recipe (an Apple cake) if I don't destroy it, I'll post the recipe here. She's just happy to have anything in an apple form. The Babe told me her cousin said that my sister-in-law is bringing a pecan pie. I can feel the pounds on my hips already.

Speaking of hips, I think the exercise is what truly brought me out of my funk. It's amazing what a few endorphins can do for your sense of well-being. I'm not pushing boulders up a hill or weight training until I pass out, but the time I spend on the elliptical has done worlds of good.

Hubby and I got into a little tift about time. I'm just glad we didn't get to arguing during our time away. We had a lovely weekend up in the mountains with no kids. Ended up at a club where the Deadliest Ca.tch Tour was taking place. Underground hip-hop at it's best. The music was pretty good, but we had more fun people watching. Hubby commented on all the cougars and how one was scoping him out. An Asian gentleman was looking at me like gravy on a plate and he was standing right next to my hubby! Nice. People just don't care anymore. It was still fun, regardless.

We talked about going back up, maybe with the kids, at a later time (when it's warmer). Twenty-nine degrees and snow was a bit much. Yikes! The weather around here turned sharply cold, but now is warming up again. Wonder if the almanac was right? Are we in for a rough winter?

Another Passing in 2009

2009-11-12T12:25:00.004-07:00

My grandmother passed away Monday morning. I'm still mourning and missing her, but the ache isn't nearly as painful as it was earlier this week. I just keep reminding myself how long a life she had (she was 90) and how much she accomplished.

She took care of me and my sister for a while, when my dad moved us from California to Tennessee. We stayed with her for 7 months. I will forever be grateful to her for that. When my mother worked those crazy long hours at a job she hated, my grandmother was there. Chasing after me about keeping my grades up (I was out of school for a while) and giving me advice about this or that. I'd follow her around in her hair shop when she'd have the occasional client. I'd watch her bake and help her see about my great-grandmother. I'd sit up and watch t.v. movies with her or relax on her front porch on the swing. So many memories.

I suppose my favorite is when my girlfriends and I went to Daytona for spring break. We stayed with her to help with expenses. While we were there, she shared an article about herself from the paper. Because of her enormous and beautiful garden, she got a headline in the lifestyles section. It was amazing. All those beautiful flowers! I'll never forget them or her.

Yesterday, as I was watching Sanf.ord and Son, I saw this segment and it tickled me so much, I had to add it here. For a week that hasn't be so great, this brought quite a bit of sunshine:

This evening, I'm taking Indy to see the Princesses on Ice. It will be the first public arena I've been too in several days. I think I'm okay and I know it will make her oh, so happy. Going on with life and creating new memories, I'm sure that's what my grandmother would have wanted.

Our Weather is Confused - But No Complaints

2009-11-06T06:53:00.004-07:00

We hit 75 degrees, yesterday. Remember my "first day of snow" post on the last day of September? Amazing what can happen in one month. Our weather lady said, "You can wear your shorts today." We've had this unseasonable weather for the past few days, but I'm certainly not complaining. Hubby has used the opportunity to go ahead and put the Christmas lights on the roof (um, didn't he say he wasn't going to do a lot of lights this year? Yeah, he says it every year. I just don't even pay him any attention anymore when he says it) and get them ready for the day after Thanksgiving. That's when Christmas festivities start at our house, anyway. I do know of one person who has been listening to Christmas music since August. Sigh. What's nutty is that two of our "easy listening" stations, about two years ago, decided November 1 would be the day they'd start their "All Christmas music, all the time," campagins. I refuse to listen to those stations until after Thanksgiving as well.

We also spent part of the afternoon, yesterday, putting chicken wire around the bottom of our fence where, El Stupido (Hercules, my Chihuahua) has escaped a couple of times. "Why are you running away from free room and board, you dumb dog? Don't you know that's how you ended up at the animal shelter in the first place.?" (He was two pounds lighter than he is now, making him only two pounds when we adopted him). Right now, he's looking at me with that, "Play with me, please," expression he often has. Wow. What a little con-artist.

Hubby also purchased flower bulbs (Narcissus) to plant for next year, he'll be pulling up the rest of the solar lights from spring and filling in some areas in the back yard. So ambitious! I reminded him that these are his days off and he is allowed to enjoy them and relax a little bit. He never stops, that one.

My daughter has to read the scripture for our devotional on Sunday at the "special " afternoon service. That means, no 8:00 am service this week but we'll head down at 2:30 instead. I'm such an early bird that this will seem downright unnatural to me; however, I don't want to do multiple services and I don't want my kids missing out on their naps (Ugh! They are completely unbearable when they do). The multiple service issue is my own. Growing up with a father who pastored a church, I spent many a Sunday in services all day long. I don't have a problem with service, but two, three sometimes four in one day is too much for anyone.

My niece and nephew are coming over today. They are sleeping over and watching scary movies with the babe. It's great that they get to spend time together, but I am selfish. It seems we end up with them more then ours end up at their house. I know that their mother is basically a single-mom working all the time, just to keep a roof over their heads but it would be so nice if we had the luxury of a trusting care-giver for our kids, whenever we needed one. Yes. I am very selfish. I still can't help feeling like, "When do we get that opportunity?" I wish the babe's friends' parents weren't so flaky.

Speaking of the babe, she is getting so excited about New Mo.on. Hubby and I are trying to figure out how to find a babysitter for Indy, so that we can take the Babe (yeah...all of a sudden he wants to go, too. It went from, "Oh, I'll be fine watching it on video," to "How do you think we can take the Babe to see the movie?" He cracks me up).

Hello, November

2009-11-03T05:50:00.009-07:00

Did you know that it's Alzheimer's Disease Awareness Month? I was unaware until a few moments ago. I don't think I've ever posted about how much that disease scares me; more than cancer, heart disease and even a stroke. My memories are who I am. The people I know and love, the places I've been, the ideas I've dreamed about. I can't imagine having all of that slowly siphoned away. To wake up some days and know who my children are, and others not remembering their names. My feeling is, I can be doped on morphine or whatever for pain as long as I know who I am. I support research and donate whenever I can and I truly hope that no one in my family experiences this (or any other) wretched disease.

It will be a good day today, despite the sour note I sort of started on. I believe this to be true. It's been oh, so busy. October was nuts, but lots of fun. The girls participated in so many wonderful activities and I was happy to play taxi. It's truly about broadening their childhoods and building their memories. Indy will be going to see the princesses next week. She has no idea, but the babe is having a hard time holding her tongue. She's not jealous, thankfully. I did have to remind her, though, that I did all of these sorts of things with her when she was little. Now, it's Indy's turn. The babe got to see a Chor.us Line in September, after all and will hopefully get to see the stage version of A Christmas Sto.ry in December.

Hubby and I are getting away next week, too. He keeps talking about the "plans" he's made without talking about them. I have no idea what we're doing, but I hope it involves a hot tub. Woohoo! I think the last time we went away together overnight, just the two of us, was a few years ago. So sad that it only comes in spurts but it's hard finding care for our kids and they're at such different ages.

We went to Vegas and stayed at the Orleans. I believe Indy was just a toddler. The pictures show a lot of baby weight on me, so I don't believe she could have been that old. We were lucky my mother even agreed to care for both of them. I had no idea we were going. Hubby just told me what days to take off and that he was making arrangements for the kids. Early one morning, we dropped them off and headed out. I love car trips with him. We have the best time. You really don't know someone until you've spent hours and hours with him/her in a car.

We could have lived at the Orleans! Everything was there; food, entertainment and therapy (spas). We rode all the coasters at the top of the Stratosphere (Lord, never again!), walked the strip, visited In 'N Ou.t Burger as often as we could, and drank the sweet nectar of life (Mai Tai's are usually my choice, but I think I had more strawberry daiquiris than anything on this trip).

Since we only have one day, I won't get my hopes up for a repeat of our Vegas excursion, but I'll always have those memories (and those dreadful pictures of me screaming my head off on the Big Shot).

I'm looking forward to the holidays and all that comes with them. The girls have already mentioned baking and other mother-daughter bonding activities. I save all that for this time of year, since it's the time I usually use those vacation days I've saved up. I just hope I'll be able to again this year. With a new manager, you just never know.

Well, it's that time to dig in and work, work, work.

(Oh, and my nostalgia moment below. I loved Troop. When Hubby and I married years after they were popular, he told me he and his friends would choreograph dances, using their moves, for parties. Remember when people danced rather than just moved around aimlessly? I listened to the song below, along with My Heart, That's My Attitude, All I Do and I'm Not Souped over and over again.)

Back and Missing My Friends

2009-10-13T07:54:00.002-06:00

My trip home was too much fun! I basically lived the single life with my best friend for four, fun-filled days. Now, when I say single, I'm not talking about bar-hopping and running around like some crazed woman. I'm talking about going where I want to go, when I want to go whenever I want to go. I'm saying that I didn't have to put anyone into a booster or car seat, buckle them up and make sure the strap wasn't too tight. I didn't have to wait for kiddlings to finally get out of the car, only to realize they left some scrap of clothing or (heaven forbid) their shoes.

I could also go into places and not worry about hands touching and picking up everything. I could spend time browsing and not worry about brattiness ("Don't touch me!" "She's not listening, mom!" "Why can't we go there?" "I'm hungry!") I missed my girls, but I didn't miss all of this.

I arrived in Nashville, the Friday before last, at around 10:30pm. I picked up my car (a Hyundai Elantra in grey) and drove over to the hotel. Once I checked in, I discovered that I had two, double beds instead of the single King I thought I was going to get. Sweet! I called my friend and told her to bring a bag. Slumber party! When she arrived, we went to pick up a late dinner, came back to the room and talked, talked, talked. The next day, she had to get her hair done. I worked out while she was gone, talked to my dad, and arranged a lunch with my sorority sister. At lunch, my soror, my best friend and I talked, and talked and talked for nearly three hours. I'm sure the wait-staff was ready for us to go.

We hit nearly every hair shop where I spent way too much money. For that Saturday evening? Bowling and Captain D's for dinner. Sunday, it was off to her church for morning service. We left and went to IHOP, where we connected with my dad. He was nearly 45 minutes late (CP time for real!) and then he wouldn't let us leave. Two hours later and lots of rain, we headed back to the room to recuperate. Later, we went back out for dinner and watched "Let's Scare Jessica to Death" on my computer. We were planning on going to a haunted house, but we didn't want to stand in the rain.

Monday, we went to my high school friend's, daughter's junior high to speak for their college week. It was a lot of fun and they asked a lot of very intelligent questions (for the most part). It's junior high, after all. Afterwards, we kidnapped my friend and had lunch at Long John Silvers. Then, it was time to see Zombieland. Awesome! I haven't had that much fun at a movie in a long time. We were the only ones in the theater, talking loud and cracking jokes. It was the best! (I went to see it again with hubby two days later). There are so many great one-liners. We're still quoting them, ever chance we get.

We went to the mall for slurpees and strolled through our childhood hang out, now nearly deserted (due to our lovely economic climate). Her hubby was eager to have her back, so we took her home around five. For Monday night? BB King's House of Blues. Oh, yeah. It was the perfect end to a fantastic trip. We saw the Stacy Mitchhart band and turned into groupies for the evening, grabbing autographs and buying CDs. I love live music and I really hate that I don't get enough of it at home. That's gotta change.

Tuesday was a bit depressing. We picked up breakfast and turned in my car. After which, we hung out at Opry Mills and then had lunch. Then, off to the airport to come home. It's always so hard to leave. My best friend said it best when she described our friendship; "The longer we remain friends, the more we appreciate each other...the harder it is to separate." Ugh! If only I could beam them here when I need them.

So, I don't go again until 2011. She wants to try the skiing thing the next time she's here (2010). I'll be pricing that out, along with hospital stays for when limbs are broken. I told her, "Only the bunny slopes for me!" I just don't want to meet my end tumbling down a mountain, you know?

The Pig Flu Tangos Around the Office

2009-10-01T07:48:00.003-06:00

So, one of my new co-workers is home fighting the hog ailment. She has the same symptoms I did and informed us that her parents are recovering from the same. They were actually tested for pig's disease and so...there you have it! Truly, the media does a number on us. We've been hearing about this thing for months. They'd have us believe it's a revisit of the bubonic plague, but it's just a nasty, pain-in-the-ass flu. Do what you're supposed to do when you get sick and you're golden! Be an idiot and run around in a T-shirt in 39 degree temps (our temperature yesterday, if you can believe that) and risk the inevitable.

My new spot in the office totally sucks. I'm right by the door which leads to the restrooms. Major "in and out" action all freakin' day. It's only four months, I keep telling myself, but it's little comfort. Only ten feet away is the blasted break room door. We're also now located on the floor with marketing and our enrollment counselors, many of whom are college age (or very close to it). They chatter incessantly and talk about the most inane things. Was I ever like that? Ugh! We try and keep the door closed but, inevitably, some wise ass opens it up and then we have to hear about the gay-love that isn't happening frequently enough in the bedroom or the too-high gas or how black men are the best lovers (which is true, but why do I have to hear it at work?).

The weather was crazy, yesterday. Wednesday, we ended with a high of 86 degrees. It seemed like we were going into an Indian summer, then an Arctic blast hit us from the northwest, sending our temps into the 30s. The thirties! By yesterday afternoon, the mountains were covered in a blanket of snow. I could no longer see the beautiful reds, oranges and golds of fall. I hope this early freeze doesn't kill them all. Those colors are the best part of fall.

(The picture was taken in my yard, yesterday. It's of the mountains directly east of my house).

The Flu

2009-09-29T14:13:00.004-06:00

That's what the doc said I had. The flu. My flu came with a cough (still coughing a bit). No flu I've ever had came with a cough. The guy at the emergency room, who examined my daughter earlier this year, said that the cough was the "different"symptom with H1N1. So, did I have it? Pig flu? Could it be? I'm being a good girl, laying off the strenuous exercise, drinking my juice, resting. I've sucked on about a thousand cough drops, but things are improving. In fact, I've felt better today than I've felt in a bit, aside from the sore throat.

It all began Thursday, September 24th. I went home with my throat feeling like it was going to close up. I initially thought it was something I ate and I was having some sort of reaction. I took some benadryl and called it good. The next day, aside from the lingering benadryl effects, I felt okay. I worked without trouble but by 2:30pm, things started to go south. I felt like stir-fried crap and it only got worse. I took some meds then went to see A Chorus Line with my mom, sister and daughter. It was great, but I sneezed through a big portion of it.

Saturday, I stayed around the house. I left only to pick up juice and lunch for my hubby and his friend (who, thankfully, installed our new water heater and dish washer). I rested and played The Price is Right (I'm really loving that game).

Sunday, was a bit better. I was on Sudafed and cough drops. Same with Monday, but the afternoon was hard (probably because the air conditioning went out and it was hot as hell in our offices). That never helps with the healing process.

I went to the doctor, thinking I may have strep when the sore throat came on with a vengeance this morning. The good news was that I was feeling more like myself. He checked me out; no swollen glands, chest sounded good, no fever, lungs clear and a negative on the strep test. I'll just keep being a good girl and get better. Wonder if one of my snotty-nosed kids or their friends gave this to me? Well, maybe now I'm immune.

Shuffling the Kid

2009-09-23T09:52:00.003-06:00

We have major construction happening on the main street in our city. They've closed down an overpass/bridge that has been a major artery for decades. A new highway will replace it, which will mean demolishing several buildings. One of these buildings includes a Mom & Pop restaurant, which catered to the military folks...large portions for great prices. Next door to this cafe is my youngest daughter's daycare (and oldest daughter's back-up care on days I work in Salt Lake during the school year and summer). Destruction for the sake of progress.

The department of transportation, lovely government entity that they are, informed the daycare director that they would be able to "work around" the daycare. This care center goes from 1 year to 12 years old and also buses students to school. The director was pleased that they were so willing to work with her. Yesterday, I arrived to drop off my youngest, only to find that the director had been given her marching orders. She's got 30 days to haul her cookies out of there so they can knock down her building. She was not even given enough to relocate the center. This is a nightmare!

We were so happy to have found a place that, not only had first rate care-givers, but only charged a minimal fee when my kids were there. Most places charge regardless and the fees are usually exorbitant. I was crushed to hear such awful news. I then became depressed because I knew all those great teachers would be out job-hunting in this god-awful economy. I talked to the assistant director for about twenty minutes, who had spent the last twenty years of her life being the "grandma" to the kids. She is single and will now have a house note with no way to pay it. Ugh!

I went care hunting, yesterday and, due to the current daycare's reputation, other care facilities in the neighborhood (who wouldn't normally take newbies) have been good about accepting new/overflow students to compensate. They are also interviewing the teachers who would otherwise be out on the street. I felt better, but still ended up crying about it to hubby.

We found a new place that I found pleasant and supportive, is in a great location and just received a massive grant for building and playground improvements. The cons? They charge nearly double and charge even when Indy isn't going to be there. Oh, well. The other option was an in-home daycare scenario. Indy would have been the oldest and the owner has her own family and two roommates living in the house. Red flag! My mother was also leery, due to all the scary stories you here about other family members coming over and doing horrible things to the children. That put me on edge, even before I toured her home.

The new place for the youngest only takes up to age 5 years. The babe was not happy and I'll still have to figure out what we're going to do with her during the summer and on "school out" days. Ugh! This is the downside of not having our friends here in Utah. I know these things wouldn't even be an issue or if they were, not nearly as stressful as it's been. From Sorority sisters hooking me up to high school friends playing "catch all" when hubby and I need to get away. It would be so sweet! There's no way in hell I'm moving back though so, I'm stuck with shuffling the kids. I'm sure this won't be the last time. I just hope we always find safe and affordable environments.

When Good Weekends Disappear

2009-09-21T11:44:00.003-06:00

It was just wonderful! We didn't do anything spectacular, but we spent a lot of time together. I think, for the first time in a long time, hubby dear saw the benefits of having that precious time we've been missing. I've been trying to tell him for months that it's the most important thing to me, in regards to our relationship. The weekend flew by and, this time, I wasn't depressed about a bad weekend turning into just another week at work. This time, I was elated at having such a great weekend but sad at seeing it disappear. I believe hubby felt the same way.

My trip home is in a couple of weeks and he's already getting mopey about it. He's anticipating missing me, which I think is sweet and a bit sad. I don't feel it yet because, as is always the case with me, I don't feel the effects until I'm right at the cliff. It will be the day I leave getting onto the airplane that I'll fee the twangs of sadness. He's already talking about, "When you're gone..." and the things he'll try to do to keep himself occupied. I keep reminding him that the kids will be with him and, when they're at school, he'll have all that time to himself. I don't think he's seeing the benefits right now but I'm hoping he will in the next few days.

The first day of fall is just about here! I'm so excited and I keep looking for all the wonderful colors. Some trees have started to change, but not many. We did wake up to 49 degrees this morning (a sure sign that fall is on the way). Hubby keeps asking me when it is so he can turn on the Halloween lights. Halloween lights? For real?! He cracks me up. Again, he's said, "I'm not going to put up a lot of stuff this Christmas." Okay, he says this every year. No kidding! Track back to old posts around this time? Sure as I'm breathing, I've typed this before. He just can't help himself. He's got a 10 year-old kid living inside him that just loves holidays.

The babe is getting challenged in dance, now. The group is nearly double at 13 as opposed to the 6 strong they were last year. The routine is harder, but oh so cute. They had a 3.5 hour choreography session on Saturday. They were dead, when I picked her up, but happy. I'm glad she's still enjoying all this. Some of them looked like they weren't there for good times. I wonder how long they will remain 13, with all of what I saw Saturday?

I got my hair done on Saturday as well and it's longer than I normally keep it. This was due to the general consensus of the shop, that day. My beautician asked if I wanted to trim it and I asked the ladies currently there what they thought. All agreed that I should keep it long, so I did. As soon as I stepped inside the house, my hubby was in awe. He was happy she finished early, but also happy it was so long (about the middle of my back)...claiming it would be great to pull um, later on. Nice. It's still a bit tender and it's starting to itch. The first week is always uncomfortable.

Friday, the babe and I will see A Chorus Line. Of course, she has no idea but I think she'll enjoy it immensely. I just hope my sister maintains herself. She can be oh, so irritating.

EbonyEnchantress Gets a Workout

2009-09-01T06:27:00.003-06:00

I've been putting that site into over-drive, while neglecting this one. I really should take the first day of September (the month of change) to make a change and post here. Tah-dah! Here I am...posting!

Life has been busy, busy, busy. With my new weight-loss/workout regime, I've been burning off the fat and trying to look more like a woman and less like a walrus. There's been a lot of stress and the cankers are back with a vengeance. I also have to wonder if, through the course of eating a more cleanly diet, the virus is just shedding. I suppose that's possible, too. I just hate them with a passion, though. Ugh!

So, my department has grown by two people in a little over two weeks (the other person starts next Tuesday). That's insane to me, but completely necessary. We have the largest group of students starting today than we've ever had in the history of the University. That's exciting and intimidating. I hope we don't crack from the strain.

My girls will start dance next week. Both are so excited! My youngest will tell anybody who will listen (perfect strangers!) that she's "going to dance jazz" when she's a big girl (which just happens to be next week). Boy, we become a big girl quickly, don't we? The eldest started gymnastics last week and also has a class today. It's funny. Over the summer, she put on a bit of weight and height. Initially, I thought she was putting on puberty weight then I thought about it. She's been pretty sedentary and the activities are about to kick up in a big way again. I have a sneaking suspicion that my once petite chocolate-chip will be petite once again. How could she not with two hours of gymnastics and an hour of dance per week, not to mention all the running around at school.

Married life...is, well...strange right now. I've confessed my feelings of loneliness to my dear hubby and it has him all in a quandary. I don't want him to give up the things he loves for me, or he will be miserable but I also don't want to lose the time I have with him or I'm miserable. It's been very difficult these last few days. Trying to talk and feeling the strain of our thought processes behind the talking. I'm not sure what will happen, but we've both said we still love each other very deeply. That has never changed.

I stopped writing again. Surprise, surprise; however, I did churn out a children's story that I actually completed (based on recent events with our missing Chihuahua). It's actually pretty good and encourages children to adopt animals from the shelter. I have a friend whose hubby is an artist. I may work with him to bring the story to life. Wouldn't it be awesome if it were ever published? A girl can dream...

Henna, Birthdays and Balloons

2009-08-17T13:54:00.004-06:00

The weekend was filled with party, party, party. My eldest had her very first slumber party and she was too thrilled. We spent Thursday after work cleaning the house from top to bottom. Friday afternoon was filled with the same. Hubby went to buy the junk food for the kids to feast on all night, along with the next morning's breakfast items. I went out and picked up the pizzas and movies. Here is what I rented (in case you're wondering what to use for a little girl's sleepover):

1. Mama Mia
2. Confessions of a Teenage Drama Queen
3. The Cheetah Girls
4. Sisterhood of the Traveling Pants

For goody bags home, I put in lots of dollar store items: Girlie stickers (the stickers were of high-heels, make-up, tiaras, clothes, etc...), lip gloss, bubble gum, a notepad with a girlie slogan (Drama Queen, Rock Star, Chicks Rule, etc...), a matching magnetic pen with the same slogan, and Lee press-on nails. I think they were happy.

The girls arrived fairly close to start time, with only our relative only able to stay for the party, only. They ate pizza, listened to scary stories while they ate, and drank strawberry lemonade from plastic wine goblets. Afterward, we sang happy birthday, blew out the candles and opened presents. From mom and dad, she got the first season of the Brady Bunch, crystal earrings, a karaoke disc and a new mp3 player to replace her broken one. From the guests, a host of make-up and girlie items.

After opening presents, they went downstairs and did the karaoke thing for a bit, even getting my sister in the mix. Once that was done, they popped in a movie, ate more junk and played twister. By 11:00pm, we told them that winding down time had to start, since we wanted to sleep. They obliged and we didn't hear much from them...until the eldest came to the door telling us one of the parents was on the way.

Well, one of the children happened to be allergic to animals. Why the parent didn't say anything when he dropped her off (and, very clearly saw our dogs) or why the child didn't say anything, I'll never know. We also had plenty of antihistamines that I could have given her, had someone let me talk to the child's mother. In any case, the child went home at 12:30pm. I was so tired.

The departing child left us with only one guest, which made dealing with clean up and everything else that much easier. The child was happy and so was the Babe. After everyone left, I took care of me by coloring my hair...with Henna.

I purchased all natural Henna (we're talking the pulverized plant) and mixed it with lemon juice. Added this to my hair then let it "cook" for about 2.5 hours. My hair was a flame. I'm supposed to see darkening and changes over the next three days and have seen a bit already. Hubby loves it. I think it will look great with my braids, come September.

Sunday was the last day of the balloon festival. It was amazing! We got there in time for the launch (7ish) and ate the buffet breakfast. We were high up in the mountains, so we dressed for the occasion. I would never have thought 39 would be the temp on an August day. Woo wee, it was cold! The air was crisp and smelled of fall. It made me so happy to smell fall, but no where near thrilled to lose feeling in my fingers.

A fun-filled weekend and a happy 9th birthday to my eldest child.

Finding Happiness

2009-08-11T13:13:00.004-06:00

I'm having a hard time with this, again. There's so much going on at work and home. Life has become very uneventful and boring. I need something to look forward to. My trip to Nashville isn't or a couple of months and the weekends just don't last long enough. Can't take vacation time (gotta save it for Christmas). What to do? How do you take a vacation from yourself without actually going anywhere?

Do I Have to?

2009-08-04T08:17:00.002-06:00

School is starting up soon and I'm actually very happy about it. It gets one raggedy child out of my house, which is a God-send, and gives the younger one her power-over-the-house back. It's the homework that I'm not looking forward to. Her homework becomes my homework (overseeing, instructing and assisting). They don't tell you that when you become a parent, you become a back-up to the teacher, too. I guess, with my own mother, I just figured she was doing her job (my mother, for a time, was a school-teacher). I am not looking forward to more multiplication drills, basic geometry, projects, and book reports. Okay, maybe book reports. Those are kind of fun.

Dance and gymnastics will also begin at the end of the month. They'll be busy and I'll be broke. There's no happy medium, yet. One day, the eldest will have a job and will be able to fund some of her own activities. I keep telling myself that the day will come but, truth be told, I'll probably continue to help sponsor this kid till her teen years. I'd rather she fret about her studies and homework than money. She'll have her whole life to fret over money.

Hubby and I are feeling a little restless. I feel it from both of us, but I'm not sure how we're going to get past it. There's so much to do and never enough time. Sometimes, it's our finances that hold us back and sometimes, it's life and all that it throws at us. I need my plumbing fixed, my kitchen redone, tile in the bathrooms, a new dining room table, my carpet extracted, paint down the stairwell, all of our photos hung up. The list just goes on and on. We try to set-up projects yearly and we do okay, but not as well as we could.

Summer Activities

2009-07-29T09:10:00.002-06:00

We haven't done the family swim thing, yet, but we're planning to. We also want to participate in this year's fair and the ever popular balloon festival. I'm also trying to plan the Babe's birthday party (which will come in the form of a "slumber" theme this year). Oy! I must be out of my mind. A bunch of pre-adolescents running around my house, eating everything in site. I did, however, decide that she'd only have two or three girls over (not a whole posse).

Dance camp starts next week and the Babe has been bugging me mercilessly about it. Today, the director sent the schedule and I had her read it on my computer. Now, at least, she knows when it is and what to expect. There is a "celebrity" teacher being brought in and the parents sure felt it with the cost of the camp ($130 for two days). Yeah, we must love this kid.

I've been subjecting(?) my kids to movies and shows from my childhood. Right now, they are watching The Wonderful World of Strawberry Shortcake. Not that tart that's out now, but the cute, floppy-hat Strawberry from the 80's. My youngest is completely enchanted...my oldest loves the music more so than the stories (I think Strawberry is 6 or 7 years old, so it's understandable). Last night, we watched Steve Martin's, All of Me. (The babe is a huge fan of The Jerk; "You mean, I'm going to stay this color?!).

I'd forgotten how funny it is! We just laughed and laughed. It's been a lot of fun, cashing in on mom's Net.flix account and being nostalgic with my eldest.

Work is pretty much the usual. I'm getting anxious about hiring folks. It just seems to sit, sit, and sit. Why is it so hard? We have applications and interviews, then nothing. It's gotta happen before the fall rush. It's the same every year; September= a flood of students. All the time anytime still means people believe school starts in September.

Stirred by Dreams

2009-07-23T08:44:00.002-06:00

They've been heavy and weird, as of late. Hubby always says I dream heavy, but often I don't remember what they're about. Last night, I woke up with a "face in the place" and really didn't know where I was or what was going on. Turns out, hubby was dreaming to. Damn, what the hell is going on with us? Dreaming of sexy times, with sexy times happening...along with the whole euphoria thing? Is that what it feels like to be high? If so, I can understand how people become addicts.

I've Been Writing

2009-07-20T09:16:00.002-06:00

Not a lot, but more than I used to. I've been feeling motivated to write again. My problem is that, in the past, I've begun lots of stories and drafts, but have left them unfinished. I'm trying to keep up the momentum. I started a children's story (a reader, actually) based on the recent events of our dog getting lost and then re-found. Part of it is my encouragement to children to adopt animals from shelters.

I haven't worked on it since last week, but my plan is to do a bit of writing (creatively) every day. It would be nice to be published again...a sort of contribution to my immortality. We'll see where it leads me.

We Found Our Dog!

2009-07-14T12:47:00.002-06:00

It's so wonderful! Shortly after I picked up the babe from summer camp, we came home to try and make a flyer for our door-knocking agenda (our next plan of action in the search). Just as we were leaving, the phone rang and a lady said she had our dog. She said that she called the number on the tag, which led her to our vet. Turns out, we share the same vet and they felt comfortable sharing our information with her. I'm so glad they did. We hurried over and ended up making a new friend.

That little stinker traveled about a mile to get to her house. Not only that, he crawled under her fence and made friends with her husky. Well, all's well that ends well. He's safe and the whole family is so happy. It was such a load off our minds, knowing he was safe. I just kept envisioning a big, mean dog using him as a chew-toy. Yikes!

Oh Where Oh Where has my Little Dog Gone?

2009-07-13T12:51:00.005-06:00

It's a sad day in my household. One week ago today, we adopted a dog from the shelter. One week prior to that, my hubby and girls made a visit to the shelter, where they fell in love with this little dog. Normally, we aren't fans of the rat-dogs, but this one was a charmer. He didn't bark at us and was so gentle. Not your average Chihuahua in any sense, my hubby had me visit the shelter after work to see him. I was convinced that he needed to be in our family.

We had to wait a few days before we could adopt him, but adopt him we did. He was so cute and followed the girls and me around everywhere. Hubby took him to the vet last Tuesday for a checkup and to see why his cough was so bad (I suspected kennel cough, considering where he'd been). My suspicions were confirmed and the vet put him on antibiotics. I worked for a vet office for two and one half years of my life, so I have experience with animals in the medical sense. I taught hubby and the babe how to hold our new little dog, while I gave him his meds. I'm sure that's why he stopped following me around and decided everyone else in the family was safe.

Each morning and evening, I would shoot yucky meds into his mouth via syringe. Yeah, we weren't really bonding anymore (but he was still cute, sweet and (although timidly) trying to get to know me. This morning, I let both dogs out to potty. They both came in together, shortly thereafter and ran around my feet for a bit. My older dog is a mite jealous but very big, so his running was more of a circling. After a little while, my older dog indicated he wanted to go out again, so out they both went. When I went to call them in, only my older dog appeared.

I searched the backyard frantically for our new, little Chihuahua. Nothing. I had my daughter check up front. Nothing. Then, we started combing the neighborhood. Still, nothing. She was becoming distressed. I called the animal shelter and alerted them that he was missing. They assured me that if anyone called, they would call me. Cynic that I am, I had visions of some horrid person removing his tags and claiming him for their own. It could happen, you know.

Work neglected, I emailed my boss and coworkers, letting them know what was happening. I went back out in my car with the kids, calling his name and searching the neighborhood for him. It was drawing near to the babe's summer camp time, so we called it quits and headed home.

After I dropped her off, I checked the neighborhood again, came back online and told my coworkers that I hadn't found him. My one colleague, wonderful lady that she is, insisted that I keep looking and not to worry about work (since I'd covered for her last week when her daughter got sick). I felt guilty, but also felt better to have more time to search for him. I piled Indy into her stroller and set off. My next-door neighbor drove by and said he'd search too (what a good guy!) and so I headed toward the local park, hoping some kids had found him and were playing with him. No luck.

We kept walking, the sun beating down on me making me drip sweat all over the pavement. No one can say I didn't put forth a good effort. Dehydrated, I alerted another neighbor, who sent her kids out on their bikes. They searched a bit, then headed back to their skate boards. I couldn't blame them for that. My driving-neighbor came home and suggested I post a lost ad online, which I did. I will also create a flyer.

Oh, I can't believe how awful I feel! Even though we hadn't quite bonded yet, I still feel completely mom-responsible for him. I'm so concerned that he'll get hurt or attacked (he's only four pounds and we were steadily working to put a little weight on him.). We were going to schedule his neutering this week, but I guess we were a few days to late. Those man parts make a dog wander like no other! I'm hopeful, but very depressed. My oldest has had a really hard time this year and she was really starting to perk up with this new dog. He loved her best, I think. Hubby keeps calling and I wonder if he'll rearrange his trainings this afternoon, in order to help look. I've had to take care of Indy, so the search has been off for a while. Gosh, I hope he's okay and I hope someone does the kind/right thing and gets him back to us quickly and safely. He didn't have his meds this morning, or his breakfast...poor little guy. Honestly, my daughter doesn't need anymore heart-break this year.

Have you ever lost a pet? What did you do? Did you find him? Is there something else I should try?

A Peak Into the Future

2009-07-09T10:53:00.003-06:00

Tuesday night, hubby and I watched Push. It was a fairly decent, character Sci-Fi that could have used a little help in some places. The idea was a good one, though, revolving around extreme testing on psychics. The next day (yesterday) was my all-staff meeting, so I had to drive into town. It was the normal speech, along with the announcement of our yearly bonus (woohoo). Afterwards, I was ready to bust outta there but couldn't because the person who was supposed to have the parking validations, didn't have them. Nice.

So, I'm standing around with coworkers talking, when we notice that there are caricature artists. Really? My girlfriend and I run over to have our picture drawn. It was too much fun and the artist seemed to enjoy our goofiness. Over the hedge, we could see people sitting with a folks. One lady had cards. Tarot? Do we dare? But of course!

Picture drawn, we headed over to the line to wait for our fortune-telling session. There were two tables; one featured a very large lady with a massive deck of cards, the other was a gentleman who used no paraphernalia to speak of. Those of us in line chatted, while we waited for our turn. In my mind, I hoped to speak to the guy, rather than the lady. Intuition? Who knows. I just felt I'd get a better answer from him.

My turn arose and I sat in front of the middle-aged gentleman with silver-hair and a medium build. He took my right hand into both of his and introduced himself. I returned with my own name and we began.

"You have a light around you...a wonderful light and I can see you're surrounded by love." (so far, so good...) "You, yourself have a lot of love to give."

We go on and I tell him my question/statement; that I'm at a crossroads and I'm not sure which way to go or what to do, at this point. He basically tells me that I need to throw logic out the door and go with my heart. That logic isn't what's going to give me what I want. He said that my angels were telling his angels that I could have whatever I wanted. (Really??) He said that I had talents to share and that I should share my talents and not be afraid too (I took this as letting go of my inhibitions, which I never do). He told me, again, that I have a lot of love to give and that I should do so freely. He also said that I'm in a mode of study and that the things I am learning now, are what I will need when I do what I'm going to do (which, he said, I already know what I want to do). I have to send it out and make it known so that I can be "assisted" in that direction.

How eye-opening! It's interesting because I don't put much stock into such things, but I was actively listening with my ears and with my heart. It was good to hear and I needed to hear it. Hubby tells me all the time that I "hold back" and I know that I do (upbringing). Was confirmation from a third-party what I needed to get me moving? Will I really move past this "dead zone" in my life? I have to say, too, that I loved the terminology he used; Christian references. It set my mind at ease. My girlfriend felt good about hers, too.

Oh, So Dependent

2009-07-07T10:28:00.002-06:00

Yesterday, I was faced with my dependency on my Internet access. The modem was malfunctioning (as it's prone to do, sometimes) and I cycled the power a few times, only to have it set there helplessly, doing nothing. I called tech support. Need I say more? It was awful! It's not even that I'm calling India and there's a massive language barrier, but it's when they talk to me like I'm a complete moron. Excuse me, I'm not some run-of-the-mill user who doesn't have a clue. I do know what I'm talking about. The most frustrating thing, yesterday? I would go through my steps and then Mr. Tech-man would regurgitate everything I just said in question form (as if reading his technical manual, which is probably what he was doing).

"Look, dumb ass, didn't I just say I did that?" Ugh! I wish I were brave enough to just say it when I feel it. Of course, I was polite (but in a frustrated sort of way). I guess if I said what I felt all the time, I would be alone. He would also put me on perma-hold while he read his manual (I knew what he was doing. Who did he think he was dealing with?) . After nearly two and one half hours of running around from phone line to phone line, testing the modem, he scheduled a technical service call. I was so done, by then. I called hubby and vented, only to look over and see the light illuminated on the modem. What the hell? Had to call and cancel the service call.

In hindsight, I should have hung up and called back when I realized I had someone who didn't have a clue. Oh, well. Live and learn. Hubby and I are now considering going back to cable as an Internet source (and also upgrading our TV service at the same time). Gosh, why not? If I can talk to a tech support lady/guy in the states...I'm all for it.

What do you do about a screamer?

2009-07-01T08:30:00.003-06:00

We've got one on our staff. She's a Ph.D who lives in Virgina and has worked at my company for years. She's brilliant, but sneaky and underhanded. My coworker is absolutely terrified of her and it seems those who work closely with her, are as well. How can you work for someone you're scared of? I guess times really are hard.

Anyway, we had a call with her yesterday and she proceeded to yell at pretty much everyone on the call. Who puts up with that kind of behavior? There is a way to talk to people with respect and dignity, even if you're angry. You certainly don't want to burn bridges or make enemies. I still feel badly, however, because I arranged the call. It was oh, so necessary. We had deadlines and they weren't going to be met. People were putting the blame on our department, but the blame was solely on hers. My boss is out of town, so something had to be done and right away. Honestly, my intent wasn't to get anyone in trouble, but merely to clear our name and alert everyone to the problems. I hope I didn't cause more problems as a result. My boss gets back today and I'm a bit worried.

On the home front, hubby is irritated with me as I am with him. He has clients, as I've said, but why do they call at all hours? Why does he have to answer the phone, when we're just sitting down to dinner or going to bed or talking? I was huffy and left him to his call last night, while the girls and I waited patiently for him to get off the phone so that we could eat dinner together. He claims I stormed off, but I really didn't. I was irritated, though and that's probably what he sensed. I even said as the phone was ringing,

"You need to set some hours!"

Honestly, can't he check the messages later...at least after dinner? This morning, he went to the gym, saying very little to me. I have a feeling he'll be pissy for the remainder of the day. Oh, well. I still feel how I feel. We can talk about it later.

Wonderful Vacation...Now, Back To Reality

2009-06-29T13:50:00.002-06:00

Today marks my first (somewhat) full week back at work. It's weird and I'm not thrilled about it. It's so hard to come back. It used to be that I would vacation and, around the fifth day or so, I'd be ready to get back to it. Not so much. I could have vacationed another month or two. Seriously! I did not want to come back. I think I'm no longer cut-out for career mode, working, the rat-race, whatever. Hubby thinks I should focus efforts on my writing and I'm considering it seriously. Of course, I still have to pay bills. Can't up and quit my job (God, don't I wish!). Lol!

Can you believe July is nearly here? Where did June go? The summer is racing along at NASCA.R speeds. What is up?

You Thrilled Me

2009-06-26T14:41:00.004-06:00

I can't let this day go by without commenting on one of the greatest (albeit eccentric) entertainers of all time. My first encounter with the King of Pop was second grade. I had a little record player that I played 45s on, mainly record/book combos. I remember finding the Off the Wall album in my parents collection and, even though my player sometimes skipped the best parts, I learned every song on that album. I envisioned myself meeting this amazing singer one day (who didn't live very far from me).

By third grade, I was rocking my Thriller cassette nearly as much as my Off the Wall album. He was the greatest to everyone in my class. No one had anything negative to say about Michael Jackson. I remember the red jackets that adorned several of my male classmates and there wasn't one soul who didn't yearn for a sparkling glove. Good or bad, right or wrong, the impact he made upon our world will last forever. I hope you find the peace in death that you couldn't find in life, Michael. Rejoice, for you are free.

Total Drama, but We're Here!

2009-06-19T13:15:00.007-06:00

Wednesday afternoon after work was probably one of the hardest afternoons of my life. Next to leaving my first born at the hospital after I was discharged, this is probably next in line. I can't get into all the details because they are not my details to share. I will just say this; I am not opposed to chemical castration. It's a good thing we were going on vacation the next day. I really needed it.

At 4:30am Thursday morning, my household was busy with everyone skittering around, getting ready to leave. We left around 5:20am (really wishing we'd left at 5:00am). No matter. We arrived at the airport in plenty of time, found a space next to the shuttle stop and hopped on, headed for the terminal. We made it...to a line that looked about a mile long. We were fortunate, though. People must be getting more savvy about the airline kiosks. The line moved along quickly and we were done checking in within about ten minutes.

We boarded our South.West flight to Denver with ease. Settled into our unreserved seats and had a good ole time for about an hour. Hubby, with the girls and me on an aisle seat across from him by myself. Sweet! In Denver, we grabbed breakfast at McDonald's then hoped on our next flight to Orlando. Two hours and 44 minutes later, we were still circling the airport. Why? Oh, a massive storm just happened to hit a few minutes before our arrival. Any lighting seen within five miles of an airport and the airport gets closed. Did you know that? We didn't either.

Running out of gas at 10,000 feet is not cool, so off to Fort Myer for a fill-up. We hung around their airport, in the plane, for about thirty minutes (within that time, I learned a little more about my seatmates. A grandmother and her granddaughter, returning from a funeral in Wyoming. The granddaughter was quite charming) then back up in the air to get to Orlando. Via a detour route, we finally arrived in Orlando at 7:00pm...three hours later than our scheduled landing time.

Missing the first Hertz shuttle (because it was just too dang full) we caught the next one to pick up our car. Hubby's driving a 2008 Hond.a Accord. It's burgundy with cream/tan interior. The girls love it! Indy calls it "our red car".

Riding along on the speedy toll road is great...until you hit the tolls. My MSN instructions only mentioned one toll booth but, actually, there were three. Nice. Good thing we thought to bring lots of quarters. The rental has a pass on the window, but we weren't really sure how to use it. We'll be doing a bit of research later today or tomorrow because our plan is to venture back to Orlando this weekend (Sunday and then Monday, maybe).

It's now 8:30pm, Thursday evening. My girls are tired and hungry and we're all just ready to check in and be done with the never ending day. The Daytona Beach Regency resort was to be our final destination, but when we arrived, our desk clerk informed us that there was no room in the inn. Oy! But, never fear! They booked us next door at the OceanWalk Resort. What a good God I serve! Seriously? Our timeshare? Yes!! Hubby and I were ecstatic! You see, we tried to book here earlier in the year, but it was full. So, we arranged for the next best thing. Daytona Regency rated well and was within our budget, but to be able to stay where we're familiar with everything is a nice treat. Oh, did I mention? They upgraded us to a two-bedroom condo with separate entrances. Sweet! We can't even hear the kids when they're acting like monkeys!

The main area has a living room with Murphy bed, 52" t.v., full kitchen, laundry facilities, king-sized master bedroom with 32" t.v., walk-in closets, garden-jetted tub, walk-in shower, and ocean view. The separate room has a kitchenette, 19" screen t.v., two queen-sized beds and pool-side view. We are in heaven and totally teaching our daughter about the virtue of patience and what it can bring you.

Last night? We ate at Bubba Gump's which was pretty tasty. We strolled the Ocean walk area a bit before heading home. It was late, but I made the girls shower and get fresh before bed. They were very grateful for their shower. Seems the humidity factor didn't really hit home until after they'd showered and realized they really needed it. Hubby and I relaxed in the garden tub (gotta get me one of these!). He tried to pick us up some drinks down at the bar in the lobby, but the bartender had announced "last call", just before he got down there. He was bummed, but she encouraged him to come back tomorrow (today) for her Hurricanes. The tub soaking was still nice without the drinks, but that would have been the icing on the cake. We showered off afterwards, then went to bed (but not to sleep, snicker, snicker).

This morning, I took video and pictures of the resort in the light of day. Indy came in and told me that she slept well and I opened the curtain, so that she could see the ocean:

"Mom, the ocean is so beautiful and shiny," my three year-old announced to me.

I agreed and let her know that she would be swimming in it soon. She's so excited. My eldest is bouncing off the walls! We keep putting her in check, but it doesn't seem to be making much difference. She's just so stinking excited. We keep trying to remind her of things she did here, but she doesn't remember. I hope this time, the memories stick.

Later, we went to visit my grandmother. It was as if she'd aged twenty years, but I suppose it's hard to see someone you know who's always been independent, living in a retirement home. She is completely silver-haired. It amazed me! (she's colored her hair for as long as I can remember). Her nails were painted and that made me happy. I told her she still looked glamorous. I was so glad she knew me and seemed genuinely happy to see all of us. This is the first time Indy has ever met her great-grandmother. Hubby took lots and lots of pictures.

So, why am I typing this post on my holiday/vacation? My hubby just left to go work-out at the gym. He's trying to keep his regime. I understand, but it still makes me sad that he left. He called a few minutes ago to tell me that he's not running away from me and that he's having a good time with all of us, he just wants to try and stay on track. I don't like it, but I get it. I laid on the guilt pretty thick and he actually seemed moved...for a moment, then off he went. Sigh.

When he gets back, I'm hoping we'll hit the beach or hit the pool. The oldest has been worrying us to death about the water. I must admit, I am eager to get in there myself. I also wouldn't mind doing a stroll around town. This really is a pretty place with a lot of good memories for me.

Whistle While You Work

2009-06-17T08:08:00.002-06:00

We are either incredibly efficient or OCD. I haven't quite decided which. The truth is, whenever we get ready to leave for vacation, we clean. And, I'm not just talking about a little dusting or some glass cleaner, I'm talking rent-the-rug-doctor-and-scrub-the-oven-range-hood clean. Last night, hubby was steam cleaning like a crazy man. The day before, I was dusting, wiping and sucking up dust bunnies that had never seen the light of day. Today, we will divide and conquer the remaining work (laundry, mopping, bathroom cleaning/scrubbing, and packing). We'll need a vacation, just to get away from all the cleaning! The idea, really, is to leave a clean house and come back to one. Who wants to come back to a junky pig-stye after resting and relaxing for a week. It would be utterly depressing (that's why it has never happened in this family).

My mother is away right now, jaunting around Vegas with my sister in her rented, luxury sedan. She hasn't been since the 70's, so I know it was a total eye-opener for her, driving down the strip for the first time (in decades) Monday evening. Surprisingly, she hasn't really toured/visited the resorts. She's simply decided to go brain-dead in the condo and just relax. I can appreciate that. Tonight, they're supposed to see Way.ne Brady at the Venetian. I hope she has a good time. She really deserves it.

Hubby and I had a little evening spat last night over money. It wasn't even over the lack of money, it was just talking about the money that pushed me over the edge. It was 11:00 (way past my bedtime) and we were talking about how much cash to carry on us. We have our budget, so we subtracted all of the money we've spent thus far for the trip. The problem arose when hubby couldn't find the exact amount for the airline tickets. I was trying to pull up the site and do a quick check, but he took my over-assertiveness as a, "You think you're the only one who has ideas," idea. Great! We tried to work through the issue, last night but I was just too tired. I remember telling him that I didn't mean for my actions to be taken that way and that all I wanted to do was just get it done (I really, really hate talking about money). He seemed better this morning, but you never can tell.

So, where are we going? This family is making an east-coast trek to Florida. While there for fun in the sun, we'll also stop over and see my grandmother. My hubby's best friend lives there as well. My hope is to work on some control issues I have, while I'm away. The control is internal and I have a hard time letting go. I really want to let go, have fun, and not stress about every little thing. Can I do it? It will be a better vacation overall for everyone if I can.

I'm hoping the weather cooperates a little better there than what's going on here. I know Florida has had a bit of rain, but when it's 90 degrees, does anyone really notice? We've been getting dumped for what seems like weeks here. So out of the ordinary for this time of year. A coworker told me that a front usually in place over Arizona (I think) is not there this year, so all the weather that typically gets blocked is hitting us full on. Would someone please turn off the spicket up there? Surely, we've gotten enough water.

I've Already Checked Out

2009-06-15T14:45:00.002-06:00

Our vacation doesn't officially start for me until Thursday, but I am already basking on the beach. The sun is beaming down on me and a gentle breeze tickles my face, while my children try to dodge the waves. My hubby and I sip drinks with umbrellas and laugh at the man pulling the speedos out of his crack. It's bliss!

Hubby's vacation officially started on Saturday, lucky duck. He's been around for the last couple of days, tidying up, paying bills and running errands. Actually, I think he officially checked-out two weeks ago. He's so excited! It's fun to watch him and listen to him talk about all the things we're going to do. He's such a big kid.

My eldest keeps asking about when and where we're going. True to tradition? She hasn't been told a thing. Boy, is she going to be surprised!

When All You Can Do Is Watch & Wait

2009-06-10T11:37:00.006-06:00

Based on a comment GC made the other day, I thought I'd talk a bit about someone who is the complete opposite of my workaholic hubby; my best friend's hubby.

My bff and I met in college, back in 1993 (phew those years!). She was engaged to be married by our Senior year. I really liked the guy and went out with them several times (best way to know, you know?) . I thought he was a good match for her and I felt that he truly loved her. Unfortunately, he got cold feet and in a bad way; he completely stopped communicating with her. She heard from him about a year later, when he showed up to say;

"I was trying to find a job for you." Um, what?

There were other guys after him, but she found a guy who she communicated with long distance through her work. He lived in New York, but the distance didn't seem to deter their relationship. They began flying back and forth to see each other. Personally, I thought their visits weren't enough to really know where their relationship was going. I mean, you fly into town, have the best time for two or three days, then leave. You don't have that "grocery shopping", "pay the bills", "be around each other so much, you start to make each other sick" time you really need to have to get to know someone.

So, time went on and the company they worked for folded. They laid off both parties (which totally sucked) and my bff spent the next year and a half working odd jobs, until she found the one she has now (she's very happy). He was trying to figure out if he should take another job in New York, or move down to where she was and try to find something there. He chose to move and they became engaged. He had a nice severance package, so he was able to move, rent a new apartment and furnish it well without taking to much of a punch. He began looking for work and they made plans to marry.

They lived in separate apartments and got to know each other better (which is good, because I was very worried about this). Oh, before I forget, an incident occurred that brought up a red flag for me before he ever moved to Nashville. My hubby's grandmother passed and the three of us made arrangements for hubby to stay with my bff. Now, keep in mind, we've all known each other since college and we all hung out as friends before hubby and I ever got toghether. It only made since to all of us that he stay with her in her spare bedroom, rather than rack up expense. She explained this to her fiance and he was fine. Well, hubby went and was rarely at her apartment because of funeral arrangements and visiting friends and family. One night, fiance calls and hears hubby laughing at something on t.v. Fiance flies into a rage and becomes almost impossible (hubby and bff's words). Hubby told me later that he thought his reaction was completely bizarre, seeing as how he knew hubby would be there. We all sort of wrote it off, but hubby and I never forgot that incident.

I met hubby-to-be the day before their wedding (at the wedding rehearsal) and wasn't sure what to make of him, at first. He seemed nice enough, but we didn't talk much. The wedding came and went with lots of drama (as weddings do), especially with my bff's new mother-in-law.

Fast forward. They've been married nearly four years. To date, this man does not have a job. I can't imagine that his severance has lasted this long (I seem to remember her saying that she didn't want to dip into his 401K, but perhaps that's what they are doing now). They live in a very nice area of town and he drives an MDX. He's also a "labels" man, only buying the best of everything. She is more down-to-earth and conservative. It could come from K-Mart, and she would be fine with that.

What does he do all day? She used to tell me about the jobs he was interviewing for. When he wasn't interviewing, he was house cleaning. Now she doesn't tell me anything. I don't ask, either. I'm nearly afraid to! My hubby is in total cop mode about this and thinks he's shady as hell (I'd say, I have to agree at this point). Are they living on her paycheck alone? Does he collect monies from some "mysterious" source? She was very downtrodden, the last time I was in Nashville (2007). She confessed that she felt guilty because he moved down there for her. I told her that, that was his choice. She also felt badly because she had just been given a permanent job at her current company and he was totally unsupportive.

So, we wait. I want her to wake up and kick that dead-beat's ass out of her apartment (it's her apartment, as far as I'm concerned, because she's paying the rent...I'm sure). She wanted and deserved so much from their relationship and, from what I can see, they just keep moving backwards. He's over 40. There is no excuse. I love her dearly she is the god-mother to both my girls. There really isn't anything I would deny her, if she asked me...but I know she won't. I don't bring it up because it's such a touchy subject so, I wait. I'm really getting tired of waiting.

Popularity Can Be Profitable

2009-06-03T09:44:00.003-06:00

My hubby has picked up two, additional clients for personal training. He is totally getting paid! It's nice to have the extra income (and it will be super lovely to have it as spending money on our vacation in a couple of weeks) but the trade off? I have to wait until the wee hours to see him. I've told him this and he claims that, because of the way he's scheduling his clients, we'll still get plenty of time together. I know I shouldn't complain. There are plenty of people who have husbands who don't work and just plain don't give a damn. Mine has always worked like a friggin dog.

I suppose this is why he's so retirement focused. He wants to build up to a nice nest-egg for our "after life", so to speak. One where we can enjoy each other and not worry about financial woes. I appreciate that thought process, truly. It's something my own father never thought to do and now suffers daily for it. I think, in this suffering economy, more people are taking stock of their future and trying to assess what are priorities and what aren't. We're also being more creative with our spending. With our new habits, I hope (when things finally get better) we don't revert back to bad habits; but, history tells us a lot, doesn't it.

From the Beginning

2009-06-01T09:57:00.004-06:00

The Day of Surgery:

Hubby and I dropped off the kidlets and headed to the vision center. It is approximately 40 minutes away from where we live, but we made it there in about thirty (thanks to hubby's lead foot). We headed to the Target next door because I'd been so nervous, I hadn't had anything to eat. I knew they would be giving me anxiety meds so a stomach with padding (food) would be best. I had a hot cinnamon and sugar pretzel. Yum!

We headed over to the vision center directly after, with only ten minutes to spare (thanks to an uber slow check-out lady who felt it necessary to learn the life stories of every person in her line). I signed in and the receptionist asked my name. She pulled my file and directed me to a desk directly west of her to make payment. One thousand of the payment came from varied sources, while the remainder (about $2500) went straight to their finance company (no interest for two years). I could hear a girl behind me complaining that her eye felt like it had sand in it. The nurse explained that it was probably the bandage contact lens (must be a PRK patient, I thought immediately).

"Bandage contact? When can I take it out?"

"Your optometrist will take it out in four to five days."

Uh, talk about uninformed! What the hell?! I have to say that the clinic does a great job at letting you know what to expect. When you call to schedule an appointment for your scans, they send you a huge packet to read through. The day of your appointment, you are given a portable DVD player to watch a video on the various procedures and how they work. Then, after your scans, you talk to a counselor who tells you everything to expect. How the heck didn't she know about the bandage contact lenses? I wanted to take her and shake her when I heard her complaining. Hubby was in total agreement. Even he knew what to expect.

My payment taken care of, we were directed to an area I hadn't been to before where we were asked to sit down. "Aurora" asked me if I'd filled my prescriptions and brought my refresh tears. But of course! She then told me that most patients were offered something to calm them down for the surgery. I was nodding even before she told me what she was going to give me. She giggled a bit and offered me a valium. Within minutes, I was taken to an exam room where hubby and I were greeted by the optometrist we'd met at our last visit. He had me read a sheet with information about the procedure (Girl in the waiting room, didn't you read your sheet?). He then performed another eye exam because it had been one month and one day since my scans were performed. Talk about thorough! He gave me a surgical bonnet and booties to wear, then he told me that the doctor would be in to talk with me shortly.

Hubby asked how long the procedure would take, then excused himself once the Aurora assured him she would call just as soon as I was done. The doctor arrived soon after hubby left and talked to me about the procedure. We also made some chit-chat about where I was from, which led him to tell me about his best memories of Nashville (oddly, they were of his first visit to an Outback Steak.house and his dish of their succulent crabs). I asked him about my sensitivity to lenses and how I was worried about the bandages. He asked me to tell the optometrist, once I saw him again, to give me diluted numbing drops. This gave me a great sense of relief.

The doctor left and I was moved to a waiting area where "Makayla" gave me instructions about my drops. Oh, and the Valium was starting to kick in. Great stuff! She told me that everything was on the sheet, since I was worried I would forget. It seemed as if I would be putting in drops all the time.

Behind me were two chairs, which I dubbed "Chair 1" and "Chair 2". There were patients in both. After a few minutes of being in the waiting area, the person in "Chair 1" was escorted into the surgery room. The "Chair 2" patient was moved to "Chair 1" and I was moved to "Chair 2". Makayla added numbing drops (which burned a bit) and my eye lids become very heavy and sticky. After a few minutes, she was back to add more drops. I sat feeling like a drug-head for just a few minutes more, when "Chair 1"'s occupant was moved into the surgery room. I became the new seat-warmer for "Chair 1." Makayla was back with more drops. Goodness! More? The, she took something that looked like a small double-forked prong and headed for my eye. She was going to mark for my astigmatism. She touched my cornea and I reacted.

"Can you feel that?"

"Yep," I informed her directly.

"Okay. Let me get some more drops." Gosh, were my eyes just immune to this stuff? (Later, when I looked at my eyes, I saw two, blue dots on either side of my pupils where she made her markings.) I chatted with the former "Chair 1" occupant's hubby, who informed me his wife was getting mono vision surgery in one eye. In "Chair 2", a very nervous lady sat fidgeting, nervous about her second run with Lasik (it seems one eye was over corrected). Thankfully, this clinic I used covers enhancements.

Mono vision lady appeared and her hubby grabbed her arm, then wished me luck.

"You're up," informed a nurse. I headed into the laser/surgery room where they laid me down on a table. I was asked to slide up and place my head in a cylinder type head area. My knees were raised and I was offered a "teddy bear". The teddy bear was a soft brick with tape all around it. I assumed the tape was to repair where fingernails had dug into it, once too often. I accepted the brick and prepared myself.

The doctor asked me to stare ahead at the green, flashing light. My first thought? The hulk is going to appear! I know, I'm such a nut. There were four, bright lights surrounding the green light, which sort of reminded me of stage lights. I kept my eye on the green light, as I was instructed to do. Again, more numbing drops and this time, I felt like my eyes were really numb. They taped down my bottom and top lashes (weird). Then, the added the speculum to keep my eye open (they described everything they were doing). Next, the doctor put on some sort of cup that placed pressure on my eye. It was uncomfortable, but tolerable. He then added the alcohol which would remove the epithelial layer from my cornea. The cup would keep the alcohol from running all over my eye (weird) and he informed me that the light may disappear while this process was performed (it did). He then washed away the alcohol, and the green light soon reappeared. This process (the alcohol portion) took 35 seconds and I could hear the nurse counting down the time. I got the impression that he was scraping away the epithelial layer that had been eaten away, but he did not say this. I was grateful, but I could certainly tell what he was doing. Next, the doctor informed me that the laser would correct my vision, and this would take 7 seconds. There would be a burning smell (and there was...weird...like burning tires) for the time frame the laser would be working. After the laser, he rinsed my eyes again, put in the contact lens and added an eye drop of some sort. The whole process took about two minutes, tops. It was then repeated on my left eye.

They were listening to the easy listening station and I was very aware of hearing, "Live Like you were Dying" as my surgery took place. How about that for a permanent memory. :) The nurse gave me her hand and pulled me up. Immediately, I could see very clearly. I expected this...I also expected what happened after taking about five steps; total blurriness. I was escorted back to the exam room and asked to sit with my eyes close.

To my great surprise, I heard "Aurora" come in and ask me if I'd like a fresh baked cookie. Heck yeah! Ooey, gooey chocolate chip loveliness was placed in my hand. She even set one aside for hubby. Next, the optometrist came in and took a look at my eye with the "scope". Bright light! Bright light! Man, they weren't kidding about light sensitivity. Yeesh! It was like a burn to the brain! They could see the dead epithelial cells off to the side of each eye. Eww! I hoped all the drops I would be using would wash those suckers away. They asked me if anyone had called my hubby. I wasn't sure. They made me put on my blue blockers then escorted me up front. The optometrist himself began placing the call to hubby when who should step off the elevator? I gave hubby his cookie and my thanks to everyone there.

We went to Sam's to pick up prescriptions (the lighting was horrific, even with the sunglasses), then we went home and I rested with the aid of a percoset. Later in the evening, I ate a bit, talked to my girls, then went back to sleep. My eyes didn't hurt or bother me, but there was a lot of blurriness. The goggles I have to wear for sleeping are crazy and I find myself sweating around the eyes from lack of circulation. I'll be glad when I don't have to wear them anymore (they don't look anything like the protective lenses hubby had to wear after his Lasik procedure. Not sure if these are are step up or not).

Day 2

I woke up to blurry vision and dry eyes. Hubby took the children to school and trained his client, while I rested in bed. I listened to my book on CD (Thrill) and ate myself into oblivion. Stress/boredom eating is not good when you're trying to get back into your two-piece. As the day wore on, the dry eye issue worsened. I met with my optometrist who was convinced I'd show up, pimp slap him and cuss him out (I thought that was pretty funny). He was amazed at how well I was doing and said that the epithelial layer was growing back nicely. After checking my vision on the chart, briefly, he said I was around 20/30 to 20/25 vision,

"But you understand it will get worse before it gets better."

Indeed. I understood this well. I told him about the numbing drops and how I hadn't used them yet, since the optometrist at the vision clinic informed me that it would hinder the epithelial growth. I told my optometrist that I would only use them as a last resort and that I would mainly rely on my refresh drops and percoset for pain management. He told me not to hold back and I assured him I wouldn't. ;)

Day 3

Ugh! The agony! Based on every story I'd read about PRK, this was to be the worst and, for me? It certainly was. Everything was so blurry and jumpy. My eyes felt like there were sand particles in them and I had the sensation that I was viewing everything from under water. I had to get the babe ready for her dance performance and apply some semblance of make up, before my mother arrived. My mother ended up putting on the lipstick because I couldn't focus on both the child's lips. Crazy! I took a percoset mid-day and slept to try and get past the day. I listened to From Dead to Worse on disc, along with a bit of Thrill. Hubby was very attentive, seeing to all my needs and generally being a good husband. I was on my drops like a crack addict, just to try and help the recovery process along. Overall, day three really sucked. I just prayed I'd get through it without being too much of a bitch.

Day 4

So much better than the day before. I even felt up to driving. Bad idea. The road was jumpy and the vision was super blurry with lots of ghosting. Good thing there isn't a lot of traffic on Sundays. Hubby wasn't impressed that I took it upon myself to get behind the wheel of a vehicle. How could he stop me, though? I, at least, brought home a stellar breakfast for everyone to enjoy. I ate with the family and enjoyed the company of my hubby and girls. By breakfast's end, I was ready to rest again. Hubby joined me in the back on his laptop (the ultra bright screen turned away from me, thank you very much) while I listened to the last of my Sookie Stackhouse book. He provided me with drops every hour, on the hour and helped me keep up with my drop-schedule from the doctor's office. I was off the Acular by this time (although, I never noticed it removing any pain). I really didn't have pain during any of this, per se. It was more discomfort than anything. Great discomfort on day three, but never pain. (blurry vision = blurry picture...sorry, folks)

Day 5

I drove my kid to school without too much difficulty. I then took Netflix videos to the post office, then back home for my drop-schedule (Here's an observation: the Omnipred feels the best...not surprising, since this is the steroid. Also, the drops run down my nose and throat, sometimes. They taste god-awful). I then took the youngest to the park, briefly (too hot). So, off to the library where she picked out her first book (on her own) to check out. It took a little persuading to get her to put the book on the counter for scanning. She just didn't want to let it go!

I've stayed on my refresh drops on the hour every hour and what's funny? I totally don't have to watch the clock. I know when it's time. The dryness is unmistakable. Can you believe I have to do this for the next month? Only after a month can I back down to refresh drops every two to three hours. It's totally necessary, though. Until the eyes learn how to produce their own moisture naturally again, this is what I'll have to do.

I suppose I'll limit the PRK updates to once a week or so. I believe my description here gives a pretty clear picture on what to expect. Everyone is different and healing is a long, slow process. I am optimistic, however. Every time I get a glimpse of visual sharpness, I think, "Woohoo! That's what I have to look forward to."

Post PRK Day Four (Sort of here...)

2009-05-31T19:36:00.003-06:00

Phew! Things are mighty blurry. I'm typing in the dark and I've got my doctor-prescribed pseudo blue-blockers on (remember those?) trying to create this post and I don't think I'm going to get very far. Basically, this is the best day yet since surgery (yesterday was the worse). I'll do a day by day, once I feel a little more confident in my typing.

Thanks to you all for the extra prayers and thoughts. I couldn't have made it through without them. This was the single most bizarre experience of my life, but I am beginning to see the benefits. I hope by tomorrow, I can document what I've experienced and learned right here for your reading pleasure (as if I'm oh, so exciting). Lol!

It's the last day of May. Can you believe it? Spring is nearly gone and summer is knocking at the proverbial door. It also means we're about six months away from the new year. Even freakier! Where does the time go?

2009-05-27T07:38:00.004-06:00

T-24 hours (approximately) and counting. These have been my glasses for nearly three years. I bought them the summer my mother-in-law came to visit. I remember going to my visit and, not only buying these glasses, but contacts as well. Many of the contacts are still in my closet. I never could wear contacts well, since I always (always) feel them. It seems weird that tomorrow will be the last day I wear them. I'm getting anxious, not just about the surgery itself, but about the fact that they haven't called yet to schedule. It's supposed to be some time today. Will they call this morning? Will it be this afternoon? What if they forget? I've already taken the time off and it was tricky, at best, to coordinate with hubby. Hubby suggests calling them, myself, at 10:00am, which I plan to do. Then, do I call my optometrist to see what time he wants to see me on Friday? Will their office call me today? Tomorrow? Yeah, anxious is an understatement.

I'm almost done with True Bloo.d. My goal was to have it finished before I couldn't see again. I was also going to finish my novel (Fantasy Lover). I don't think that the latter will happen, since I've got the Babe's hair to do and an oil change to try and squeeze in. I'm nearly 200 miles over and I can see the gas just leaving, as a result. It's always the same; late oil change, horrid gas mileage.

The babe was supposed to perform this Friday and Saturday (yep...more surprise performances), but because of the surgery, we were scrambling to figure out how to get her to the locations. My mother is covering Saturday, but Friday was proving more and more difficult. Finally, I emailed the director back and asked for suggestions. She emailed me and, much to my surprise, told me there was nothing to worry about. That they had their karate group performing too and that she would look for an alternate dance group to perform. She insisted that they just couldn't do it without my little one, but understood my scheduling conflicts. My mother said, "But, of course! She is the best, you know." Wow. If the Babe's head gets any bigger, will have to move out to the country for the space.

Booked

2009-05-21T07:16:00.003-06:00

The resort, the flights and now the car for our vacation are booked. It really takes a load off...wondering when and where to do it and if we're getting the best deals or not. For the car, we watched the rates for four days with steady amounts. Last night, when I checked, rates had begun to creep up and hubby became nervous. I inadvertently stumbled onto the Hotwire site, while clicking around on "this" and "that" deal. I don't use them often, since you don't know what you're getting until the end of the transaction. Nevertheless, I found a rate lower than what we'd been seeing. So, we jumped on it. Turns out Hert.z was our rental company and it had been high, high, high for days (like $430 for six days, high). Our price? $198, including taxes and fees. Woohoo!

I neglected to post that, for Mother's day, hubby presented me with gift cards this year. One for $25 to Bath and Bo.dy Works and another for $30 to Ross (I still have about $40 on my other Ross card, the one he gave me for our anniversary, along with the shadow box). So Friday, we tripped on over to the mall where I spent the card and a bit of my own money to revel in their latest scent: whit.e citrus. It is heavenly. I feel the same way about their Se.a Island Cotton. Both are very fresh, crisp and clean smelling. I'm grateful to have my summer scent supply fully stocked.

My neighbor did it again. Ugh! She is something else. I woke Indy up to go and pick up the babe from school, yesterday afternoon. I hate to do it, but it is what I have to do. I try to make sure she goes down early enough that the disruption isn't too rough on her quality of sleep. So, I've got her all dressed and ready and begin to head out the door when my phone rang. I knew it was her and I knew what she'd say, but I answered anyway:

"Hello?"

"Hey! Hi, Enchantress. This is A****."

"Hi."

"Hey, I just woke up and E**** (her son) is still asleep. Can you pick up A**** (her daughter) for me?"

"Uh, yeah. Sure. I can get her."

"Thanks."

What the hell?! Your ass is home all day, everyday. From what we've observed, she sleeps a big portion of each day...leaving her youngest (who will be three in a couple of weeks) to his own devices. I worked a crazy-ass day at work (from home) and had major stress going on. I really don't have a problem picking up her kid, but it's the principle. What is her freaking problem? She quit her job because her manager was "mean". So the hell what! You suck it up and get past it. Now, they are in debt up to their eyeballs and have to sell their house. They are moving back in with grandma (her mother-in-law). Like I've said, I hate waste and irresponsibility is right up there with it, too.

She's very nice, but I can't say that I'm that upset about their moving. Is that wrong? Honestly, I feel like I've become somewhat responsible for her own children! The youngest runs out into the street all the time and I'm the one freaking out about it, while they don't seem to notice at all. He was ill this winter and had to be hospitalized for a bit, but it could have been prevented completely. How? Oh, how about a jacket on him when it's cold or shoes on his feet, when he runs out into the yard? Of course, I've chronicled the illnesses of the daughter, here on this blog. It seems she has something every week that prevents her from going to school. If momma is depressed and dispondent, don't bring the children into that madness. I think a lot of the time she keeps her eldest home so she'll have someone to talk to. I hope the oldest makes good choices for herself in the future. It may mean the difference between being and active, vital citizen or detaching and becoming a hermit like her mother.

On a happier note, with almost ten pounds down, I am starting to look and feel a lot better. Hubby wants to train at the park together. Do I dare? We'll see. And thanks to Tasha, I've got a new ringtone. I'm so excited! (Shame on you for posting this site, girl. I'm so addicted!)

Being Natural, My Kids and Preparing for Surgery

2009-05-20T04:58:00.005-06:00

I took my hair down over the weekend. It's been two months and boy, was it looking rough! I ordered hair the very day I took it down (the same type as the last, only much lighter for spring/summer). I will also make sure she cuts it a bit shorter. Sort of a shame, considering how much I spent for it. Anyway, as I took my hair down I reveled in the length. I just can't believe that I was nearly bald only two years ago. I'll have as much hair as my oldest in no time (way too much). Since it's natural (but I do color) I redyed it all so that when I have the latest extensions put in, it won't look too crazy. That and I just like going a bit lighter when the sun comes out. The color above appears on me, just as it does on the model. It's a bronze color with lots of light reflecting highlights. Very pretty.

I am amazed at how much I miss my hair out, free and natural. The braids have been protective, giving my hair a chance to rest, grow and be untouched for a while. After I took out the braids, dyed, washed and cleared my hair, I was so happy to just run my fingers through all my twists and coils. It really is beautiful close up. How come I never noticed? Traditions can be so blinding. I look at perm kits on the shelves in stores now and just thank God I don't have to do that anymore. I'm so surprised at how I feel. I didn't chronicle this journey like I initially planned, but I will say that I am happy with my choice. I use the glycerin and water on my hair as a moisturizer (the Castor oil, on me, gave my scalp the itchies). My skin is different from my kids. They seem to handle the Castor oil nicely. I also have Carol's Daughter.'s hair butter. I'm not crazy about the smell or the product for myself, but my girls love it. I actually prefer Silken Child for me.

Like everyone says, it's certainly trial and error. There are things I will never put in my hair again, and things I'm sure I'll just love, love, love (but can't find in freaking Utah). On vacation, I plan to stock up. Hubby's all about making space for all the stuff we'll buy out of town. It's very frustrating living somewhere where "our" resources are so limited. I'm glad I got my Sally's card (since that's really the only alternative I have). Since I seem to spend money there every month, might as well get a discount. If you don't have a card and you find that you shop their often, invest in the card. You'll be glad you did.

Monday during lunch, I picked up several CDs on hold for me at the library. I didn't realize that one of the reserves I chose was a children's book. Not being deterred, I brought it home and ripped it to the computer. When I put the discs on the counter to take back, my eldest saw them, yesterday morning after breakfast and read the cover.

"Can I listen to these?"

"Sure. They're actually children's stories...but, they're supposed to be scary. Can you handle it?"

"Yeah."

So, off she went into our sitting room and popped in the first disc. I could here the eerie music with each tale. The fall and rise in the narrator's voice (along with cackles and screams). Where was this last Halloween? She was totally into it. Checking in on them about twenty minutes later, she and her sister were curled up on the couch with a blanket and stuffy listening intently. A few minutes after that, baby sister comes back whining and hugging me saying, "I don't want to be scared anymore." Poor little thing! I found something else for her to do. What sacrifices we'll make to be with the one we love, huh?

So, the books on CD that I've reserved over the past couple of weeks are to get me through healing time. Eight days till the big day. Sigh....As I continue to read recover stories across the web, one of the things I saw mentioned (only once) was having books on CD. Since I won't be able to see to read a book, a t.v. or computer, I thought this was a great suggestion. The final Sookie book is in that mix (well, the final before the latest that just came out this month).

Tru.e Blood on video! I was so excited, I headed on over to the local video store to pick it up. Hubby and I watched the first episode last night. I like the brassy Tara character, but she's nothing like she's described in the book. I like who they've chosen to play Bill and I'm really pleased with the filming location (are they filming in Louisiana? I'll have to check). I hope the fan base stays strong because there are so many books. I'd love to see all of Char.laine's characters come to life. I was filling in hubby on all the vampires, shape shifters, weres and other supes. He was more into than I thought he would be. It's a sexy tale, too so the eldest can't read or watch these right now. She's really bummed out about it. I'm actually really happy at how eager she is to read everything!

Watching a little titillation must have gotten hubby in the mood. Okay, no. He's always in the mood. He's been in the mood for the past four days. Maybe he's getting it all in before I'm completely incapacitated. Nope. I think he'd go for it, whether I was partially conscious or not. What a guy!

*Update* I just called and checked on the status of my hair order. Back ordered. Back ordered?! Why didn't I get an email, a phone call something! Ugh! So, now I've got to spend more money to buy more hair. The stores here don't carry the hair I want. So, I'll either have to die my hair black and get what's readily available or find a substitute that won't break the bank. I am not cancelling my appointment. I am so irritated!